F1 Caption Game - Archive ThreadFormula 1
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Vettel: I can move my hands so fast, I can remove Button's ear before he even notices
- 1,537
- GTP_Soundtrack
Hopefully, I dont get banned for that one. 
Question from the floor: Jenson, thinking how close Sebastians (Vettel) performance is to yours now, how much of a threat do you consider the Red Bulls in the race for the title?
JB: Sure wet and dirty sisters can take you for a ride..., still I dont think theyre a match to barely legal virgins!
Question from the floor: Jenson, thinking how close Sebastians (Vettel) performance is to yours now, how much of a threat do you consider the Red Bulls in the race for the title?
JB: Sure wet and dirty sisters can take you for a ride..., still I dont think theyre a match to barely legal virgins!
Smallhorses
Staff Emeritus
- 7,260
Vettel: "Hehe Huh Hehehehe. Check it out Buttonhead I'm gonna slap your face, Assgoblin!"
Button: "Uhhuh uhuhuh. Damnit Sebvis, you're doing it wrong Buttmonkey! Take this!"
- 694
- Cascadia
- RialRacingRoots
- Crashbroke23
JB: I have NOT have my
- 33,155
- Hammerhead Garage
(This might sound a little funny ... I had to adapt the lyrics from somewhere else. And yes, I know some things are wrong, but I'm stuck with the rhythm and meter.)
Reporter: "Jenson, how does it feel now that you have three wins to Sebstian's one?"
Button: "There's no easy way to say this ... so I'm going to sing it instead.
"Every night I lay awake
With sorrow in my chest;
I think of Seb and wonder,
Is he getting rest?
Does he know each second
Is only second-best?
Tossing in his bed;
What's he wearing, dread?
"I'm better,
Better than Vettel
In so many ways,
It's almost unreal;
Oh, sure he can drive
And piggies can squeal
It's not a big deal,
I'm better.
"So he won for Toro Rosso
While I had to drive a piece of s*&t,
But who's got the better
Championship hopes?
Who's got a bulletproof
Car like the pope's?
Look at Seb mackin',
He's so sad he's so lackin'
He makes seven figures,
And gets the fans' nods;
While I make seven-layer
Bean dip of the Gods.
I'm also better at Halo 3;
What are the odds?
Now my ears are ringin'
'Cause all the girls are singin'
"I'm better,
Better than Vettel
At so many things,
It's hard to conceal;
Oh, sure he does magic,
But magic's not real
How dumb do you feel?
I'm better.
"Seb was a kid racer,
Well so was I, dude
But I was much younger
And totally nude;
Seb kept that race suit on,
Great, Mr. Prude.
Look, there Jessica goes
Another deal you couldn't close, yeah!
I wink at a woman,
She needs a drink - stat!
She knows I hit everything
I'm aiming at
Except for the pope's car;
I lied about that.
At least I'm not prone
To singing alone.
"Just look at his smallness
Compared to my tallness,
My porcelain doll-ness,
My port-in-a-squallness,
My Kids-in-the-Hallness,
My Pink-Floyd's-"The Wall"-ness,
My Three Parts of Gaulness,
My just all-in-allness,
My wonderful m-ness,
My hammer, the people can tell
That I'm awfully swell
While Seb has a weird smell;
I'm just saying: Purell.
"I'm better,
Better than Vettel
At - where do I start?
Romantic appeal
We both went for Jessie
And who copped a feel?
The true man of steel,
I'm better than Vettel.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm better than Vettel,
Just jumped off a moving automobile;
He plays with his phone,
While tyres they squeal;
It's my race to steal,
I'm better than Vettel."
For reference, this is the song it's based on; it doesn't start until about 0:45 in.
Reporter: "Jenson, how does it feel now that you have three wins to Sebstian's one?"
Button: "There's no easy way to say this ... so I'm going to sing it instead.
"Every night I lay awake
With sorrow in my chest;
I think of Seb and wonder,
Is he getting rest?
Does he know each second
Is only second-best?
Tossing in his bed;
What's he wearing, dread?
"I'm better,
Better than Vettel
In so many ways,
It's almost unreal;
Oh, sure he can drive
And piggies can squeal
It's not a big deal,
I'm better.
"So he won for Toro Rosso
While I had to drive a piece of s*&t,
But who's got the better
Championship hopes?
Who's got a bulletproof
Car like the pope's?
Look at Seb mackin',
He's so sad he's so lackin'
He makes seven figures,
And gets the fans' nods;
While I make seven-layer
Bean dip of the Gods.
I'm also better at Halo 3;
What are the odds?
Now my ears are ringin'
'Cause all the girls are singin'
"I'm better,
Better than Vettel
At so many things,
It's hard to conceal;
Oh, sure he does magic,
But magic's not real
How dumb do you feel?
I'm better.
"Seb was a kid racer,
Well so was I, dude
But I was much younger
And totally nude;
Seb kept that race suit on,
Great, Mr. Prude.
Look, there Jessica goes
Another deal you couldn't close, yeah!
I wink at a woman,
She needs a drink - stat!
She knows I hit everything
I'm aiming at
Except for the pope's car;
I lied about that.
At least I'm not prone
To singing alone.
"Just look at his smallness
Compared to my tallness,
My porcelain doll-ness,
My port-in-a-squallness,
My Kids-in-the-Hallness,
My Pink-Floyd's-"The Wall"-ness,
My Three Parts of Gaulness,
My just all-in-allness,
My wonderful m-ness,
My hammer, the people can tell
That I'm awfully swell
While Seb has a weird smell;
I'm just saying: Purell.
"I'm better,
Better than Vettel
At - where do I start?
Romantic appeal
We both went for Jessie
And who copped a feel?
The true man of steel,
I'm better than Vettel.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm better than Vettel,
Just jumped off a moving automobile;
He plays with his phone,
While tyres they squeal;
It's my race to steal,
I'm better than Vettel."
For reference, this is the song it's based on; it doesn't start until about 0:45 in.
- 29,811
- Glasgow
- GTP_Mars
- 7,938
- LMSCorvetteGT2's Mom's House
- GTP_LancerEvo7
Button: Sebastian, I know Red Bull gives you wings, but you shouldn't try to fly* at the news conference.
Vettel: Shut up or I'll dull that hat to pure white.
*Note how Vettels hands are blurry.
- 1,748
Vettel: Jense, I can't believe that hooker you hired in Bahrain! She looked like this..
Jenson: ....
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Vettel: Jense, I can't believe that hooker you hired in Bahrain! She looked like this..
Jenson: ....
- 5,603
- England, Warwickshire
- GTP_Sigma
Press: "Jenson, any word on what the new Virgin livery will look like?"
Jenson: "Yes, we plan to cover the car with pictures of Sebastian..."
It fits the pick well too.
- 1,085
- Barcelona
- Missing
- Halo v8
Vettel: "Guess which driver am I: (does refuelling motion)"
Button: "Massa!"
--------------------------------------------
Reporter: "Question for Button: It's true that your cap is made of solidified semen?"
Button: "Yep."
Reporter: "Why you have that big smile?"
Button: "Because there's a lady under this table that wants a cap like mine."
Vettel: "Er..."
--------------------------------------------
Final Entry
Vettel: "Say hello to my perfect wax reproduction of Jenson Button, including his" "I'm stupid" face!"
Button: "...I'm the real one, you prick."
Vettel: "Crap."
Solid Lifters
In Memoriam
- 19,311
- Inland Empire SoCal
- SOLID_LIFTERS
Vettle: - "You're my Belly."
Button: - "Come again? What?"
Vettle: - "You're my Belly, and I'm gonna stick my finger in you."
Button: - "What are you on about, Vettle?"
Vettle: - "You're my Belly, and I'm gonna stick my finger in you, and search for fun things. Like, sand, lint, cookie and potato chip crumbs..."
Button: - "Listen Vettle, I don't care for your perversions, so leave me the hell... oh, wait a minute! 'Belly Button!? Vettle, you scamp!"
Vettle: - "*LMAO!*"
Button: - "*LMAO!*"
- 33,155
- Hammerhead Garage
I think the second one is too dirty to be used ...
- 36,073
- Addison,Texas
- GTP_RACECAR
Official entry
Vettel: Whats so funny?
Button: Those guys aren't gonna get enough of this. Turn that dial up
Vettel: *Cranks up the volume*
[Youtube]9AXNBR2smPY[/Youtube]
1:10 all the way through
Meanwhile....
Hamilton: Someone please make it stop.
Non-Official entry:
Button's reaction to the news that Vettel has legally changed his name to Mike hawk.
Vettel: Whats so funny?
Button: Those guys aren't gonna get enough of this. Turn that dial up
Vettel: *Cranks up the volume*
[Youtube]9AXNBR2smPY[/Youtube]
1:10 all the way through
Meanwhile....
Hamilton: Someone please make it stop.
Non-Official entry:
Button's reaction to the news that Vettel has legally changed his name to Mike hawk.
- 89,186
- Rule 12
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- Status
