Family Guy

[mayorbill11]

"Don't worry brian, I read a book about this once."

are you sure it was a book? are you sure it wasn't nothing?

"oh yeah."

 

[xAkirax2004]

Can't forget this one...


Peter: Hey theres a message in my cereal and it says "ooooooooooooooooooooooooo"

Brian: Peter, those are cherios.

 

[regulate]

Originally posted by xAkirax2004
Can't forget this one...


Peter: Hey theres a message in my cereal and it says "ooooooooooooooooooooooooo"

Brian: Peter, those are cherios.

ahahahahahahahahaha!!!!11!!!

thats classic!
i dont think ive seen that one, whoo!

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Originally posted by VG30DETT


there's Something About Paulie:
Bachelorette: "If I was ice cream, how would you eat me?"
Peter: "I would eat you really fast before I got flacid."

Funniest line ever.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Can't forget the evil monkey.
I can't go in my room without looking in the closet for him.

Oh god, I told you about him. Now he is going to kill me.

 

[Acidman]

Oh god! I forgot about the Evil Monkey!

But he wasn't always evil you know.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Originally posted by Acidman


But he wasn't always evil you know.

He was a perfectly good monkey 'till he caught his woman in bed with another chimp.

Poor, poor evil monkey.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

These are some of my fav's.

Peter: Hey Lois, give Chris a break. I mean, no TV? So he failed a class, it's not like he felt up his cousin in the garage that Thanksgiving when I was nineteen.



Business Man: So Peter, where do you see yourself in five years?"
In Peter's head: Don't say "doin' your wife," don't say "doin' your wife," don't say "doin' your wife."
Peter: Doin' your. . .son



Stewie: I say mother, I come bearing a gift. I'll give you 2 hints. It's in my diaper and it's not a toaster.



Meg: Excuse me, Mayor West?
Adam West: How do you know my language?
Meg: Listen to me, my entire future is in your hands!
Adam West: Are you Sarah Connor?



Peter: Damn government, tell me I can't build a pool in my backyard, and after my grandfather helped create one of the worlds most beloved cartoon characters...

[cut to executive meeting]

Exec: Ok, all in favor of naming our newest character Bugs Bunny?

(all hands but one raise)

Exec: All in favor of Efrom the Retarded Rabbit?

(Peter's grandfather raises hand, storms out after losing)

 

[VG30DETT]

I'm bored, and going to post all the ones I remember:

Lois: Peter, what did I ask you not to do?
Peter: Drink at the Stag Party.
Lois: And what did you do?
Peter: Drink at the Sta.... oooh ho ho, I almost walked right into that one.

Quagmeyer: Man this itches. I wonder who gave it to me. I bet it was that skank that needed a ride to the gas station. Last time I do a favor for anyone. Hey, I can hear me! Oh my god! They can hear me! BANANANNNANANDDNANNANNAAA!

Death: Which one of you is Peter Griffin?
Peter: *holds up lamp* This... is Peter Griffin.
Death: Haha, my god, thats good.
Lois: Why ar...
Death: Hahahaha....
Lois: Why ar...
Death: Wait, wait, I'm not done, holding my sides, hahaha...
Lois: Why ar...
Death: Hahahahaha! *the two stare at each other, before Lois starts again and is allowed to talk*

Peter: Mr. and Mrs. Ramsey, I will not stop till I find your daughter's killer.
Mrs. Ramsey: It's okay, we'll manage.
Peter: No! I swear, I will find the person who did this!
Mr. Ramsey: Really! We're fine!

Lois: Are you mad because you went wee-wee on the carpet?
Stewie: What was that?
Peter: Hey Lois do you...
Stewie: Not now. Mother, bend down. *Lois bends over and Stewie slaps her with a glove* How dare you sully my good name you vile woman!

(a little later, or before, I forget)

Lois: Peter, Stewie peed on the carpet.
Peter: Do I... Do I hit him?

Greg/Peter Gumble: Did you steal the purse, or was it society that made you steal it?
Criminal: What the hell are you talking about, I wanted her freakin' purse!
Gumble: Umhm, mhm, mhm, mhm, mhm, mmhmm, mhmm, mmmhm, mhmm, mhm, mhhmm (it goes on till its funny)

Meh. Lack of motivation setting in...

 

[IDAFC21]

Walt Disney interviewing Minnie Mouse

Minnie - Do...do I hafta??
Walt - You wanna be a star dont ya?! Now take it off!!! ::starts drawing:: Oh...oh yeah...oh thats good.

 

[SS69]

Brian: "do you even listen to yourself when you talk?"

Peter: "i drift in and out"

theres many more but that happens to be my fav.

 

[VG30DETT]

Peter: We can dial any phone, and not just our phone, but other people's phone! God-bearing phones! Phones people gave up on but we knew better!
Brian: What the hell are you talking about?

Peter: I hope that thing doesn't happenw here I get nervous and can't control the volume of my voice. HELLO MR. WEED! please come in...

 

[VG30DETT]

Bah! I'm not going to let this thread just die! Plus I want to get too 100 by the end of the day today without posting too many stupid, pointless posts.

Doctor: Mr. West, you have lymphoma.
West: Oh my.
Doctor: It was probably from rolling around in that toxic waste. What were you thinking?
West: Well I was hoping I would obtain super powers.
Doctor: Well thats just plain silly!
West: Stupid? Yes. Idiotic? Yes.

West: We have a problem with the Griffin family!
Justin (from N'Sync): You damn right! Peter Griffin stole my hair.
West: Settle down Jeffery.
Justin: Justin.
West: Mike.

Peter: Now settle down senator. She could of died when you were shoving dollar bills down her thought, or it could of been from hitting over the head with a chair, I don't know. I'm not a doctor. But I do know what didn't kill her. Smoking.

 

[xAkirax2004]

Old citizen: HELP! HELP! someone stole my purse!

Peter: who cares? I don't even know you.

 

[VG30DETT]

I was reading the back of the Family Guy Disc One, Season One, and realized something.

On the show where Peter punches the manly woman, and turns the basement into a bar, it says, "... where Meg becomes an acclaimed lounge singer.". It's supposed to be Lois, I think.

 

[Acidman]

Originally posted by VG30DETT
I was reading the back of the Family Guy Disc One, Season One, and realized something.

On the show where Peter punches the manly woman, and turns the basement into a bar, it says, "... where Meg becomes an acclaimed lounge singer.". It's supposed to be Lois, I think.

I think, you right, Meg has very little part in that episode, and Lois is the one who becomes the lounge singer in their bar basement. Until Quackmeyer (sp?) sets it on fire that is, then Stewie turns back time.

Man, that episode was messed up.

 

[VG30DETT]

Meg has very little to do with any episode, and what she does do sucks.

 

[Silverzone]

Family Guy is my favorite T.V. show.

 

[tabs]

sorry, i just had to bring this thread back

Peter: heh heh...maybe you don't have to pee. hey i should just give you some beer, it goes right through ya.
Stewie:wonderful, and while we're at it we can light up a doobie and watch porn!
Peter:ye....yeah?

Chris:oh no, the government's here! run ET!
ET: AHHHHH!!!

 

[Sleek Stratos]

I love how Peter always messes up a situation when he's actually trying to have it go over smoothly,like comments that he blurts about racial stuff or whatever the episode is up to.

 

[Viper_Maniac]

I love how stewie is always trying to kill lois(sp?). "Blast you vile woman!"

 

[Jimmy Pop]

Random Guy: Aren't you a little young to be flying alone?
Stewie: Aren't you a little old to be wearing braces?

 

[norabder]

I just found the funnest quote from family guy OMG

Announcer: We now return to The Smurfs
Smurf 1: Yo, you have a good time last night?
Smurf 2: Smurftacular!
Smurf 1: Yeah I saw you leave with Smurfette.
Smurf 2: Oh man, as soon as we got out of the bar, she started smurfing me.
Smurf 1: Shut the smurf up!
Smurf 2: Yeah!
Smurf 1: Right in the smurfin' parking lot?
Smurf 2: Smurf yeah!
Smurf 1: Oh that is freakin' smurf.
Smurf 2: You smurf it.
Smurf 1: That is freakin' smurf
Smurf 2: Yeah...

HAHAHAHAHAHHAAH that show is wicked funny

 

[555]

My fav quote from Family guy (series2) is when Brian is talking to Peter in the bar and then Peter says
"Oh my god you can talk!"

Or stewie trying to call Louis on the phone
"1111111 Louis? damn, 1111112 Louis? damn, 1111113 Louis? damn!"

Bets animated show on TV

 

[ebo#1]

Well I like to think that the Simpsons is on par with Family Guy, since it's been on the air for quite a longer time thatn Family Guy. But I love the scene where Peter punches the guy at the soccer game, but it really was a woman.

 

[donbenni]

Originally posted by VG30DETT
Meg has very little to do with any episode, and what she does do sucks.

Umm in "Fifteen Minutes Of Shame" they point out that Meg is the worst character. You have to have her to make the others funnier by comparison.

Sorry to drag this up, Family Guy rocks.

Quag: I've never had a Spanish chick before. Ooooolé!

Quag: Giggadigiggadigoo (large ammounts of pelvic thrusting)

Not a quote, but in "To Live And Die In Dixie" the whole possum appearing all over the place (fridge/lois' blouse/gun) thing is always a good laugh.

One of my fav episodes is "I Never Met The Dead Man" purely because of William Shatner

 

[regulate]

Originally posted by VG30DETT

Peter: Now settle down senator. She could of died when you were shoving dollar bills down her thought, or it could of been from hitting over the head with a chair, I don't know. I'm not a doctor. But I do know what didn't kill her. Smoking.

classic!

 

[fermy88]

This show is the best cartoon ever. My friend owns the DVD set, but I always steal it so it's like I own it. I love this show.

Brian: Ask her (talking to a prostitue.)
Stewie: No you do it....fine. (Holding banana) How far can you out this down your...I can't do it, she's looking right at me!


Going to Rhode Island
Brian: Ola. Me llamo es Brian.
Mexican: Hey that was pretty good, except you didn't need to put in the 'es.' Then you'd have Me llamo Brian.
Brian: You speak English!?
Mexican: No, only the speech I just made and this one explaining it.
Brian: You're kidding, right?
Mexican: Que??


Quagmeyer: Hey, baby. Can I buy you a drink?
Transvestite: Sure.
Quagmeyer: Whoah, transvestite, back off!! Wait, pre-op or post-op?
Transvestite: Pre-op.
Quagmeyer: Whoah, transvestite, back off!!

 

[Sauc3]

At an auction when the whole family becomes rich.

Louis: "Is that Peter? That's not the Peter I married!"
Brian (drunk): "So technically that makes you available, right?"
Louis: "What!!??"
Brian: "Lighten up toots, it's a party!" (Slaps Louis' ass)
____

Stewie: "Mother, this hotdog has been on my plate for a full minute and it hasn't yet cut itself!"
Louis: "Honey, I'll be right there."
Stewie: "Oh by all means, take your time! Oh, and when you do finally get around to it, I'll be the one covered in flies and with a belly that protrudes HALFWAY TO BLOODY BOSTON!"
____

Stewie: (Rings bells) "You! Bring me the wall street paper! You two, fight to the death!"
____

Dennis Miller: "I don't wanna go on a rant here, but America's foreign policy makes about as much sense as Beowolf having sex with Robert Fulton at the first battle of Antita. I mean, when a neo-conversative defenestrates it's like rescalnicov phillibuster deaxi mono-hydroxinate."
Peter: "What the hell does rant mean?"
____

Louis: "Peter it's just a phase! You've gone through a few yourself, you know!"
Brian: "Yeah like those two weeks you spent narating your own life..."

Peter: "I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. I looked with a grimace at the questionable meal Louis had placed in front of me. Of course I'd never tell her how disgusted I was with her cooking, but somehow I think she knew. Louis had always been full of energy and life, but lately I had become to grow more aware of her aging. The bright, exhuberant eyes I had fallen in love with, were now beginning to grow dull and listless, with the long fatigue of a weary life."
(Louis punches Peter right in the face)
(Night falls)
Peter: "I awoke several hours later, in a daze."


Family guy is absolutely classical! I love it! I can't get enough of it! Not enough!!!!!!!!!

 

[RJ64]

Some of my favorites:

Peter: What else can I say about my beautiful bride except-MILK MILK LEMONADE AROUND THE CORNER FUDGE IS MADE! ehehehe......


Peter: Don't worry, I read a book about this!
Brian: Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't NOTHING?


Lois: Volcano Insurance? That's ridiculous!
Peter: That's exactly what you said when I got that cloud insurance. *looks out window* They're plotting something...
Cloud 1: We attack tommorow.
Cloud 2: Got it.
*long pause* Cloud 1: I mean it this time.
Cloud 2: I do too!