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Welcome to Fatmouse. Fatmouse exists in many guises, in many places. Fatmouse GTP is one such guise. All guises of Fatmouse adopt three founding principles:
· Fatmouse + you = Fatmouse
· Fatmouse can make you a winner. Fatmouse can make you a loser. Fatmouse doesnt care to make you a winner or a loser.
· Fatmouse is unmoved.
The Purpose of Fatmouse
Fatmouse GTP is dedicated to bringing cynics together. To rant. Cynically, about anything they chose.
What is a cynic?
Quoted:
Telling the truth can get you into hot water. As much as the world needs its
cynics, it still doesn't REALIZE that it needs them. Cynics today are
habitually castigated by politicians, corporate chieftains and other
productive citizens with tidy lawns; they know that we're on to them, so they
lump us with the lowest of the low. We're generally cast as the heavies in
the black hats, counterproductive miscreants who broil babies when we're not spray-painting obscenities on public monuments. We're portrayed as masters of chicanery and intrigue, untrusting and untrustworthy. Since we're neither leaders nor followers, we're expected to get out of the way -- and the
tidy-lawn folks get furious when we don't. Nobody loves a cynic, except maybe another cynic.
Even the dictionary definition of a cynic makes us look like scoundrels:
"a faultfinding captious critic; esp. one who believes that human conduct is motivated wholly by self-interest."
Aside from casting us in a negative light, Webster & Co. miss the point by
half a mile. Where's the hint of lost ideals, the rueful humor, the wounded
childlike soul that lurks behind the cynic's sarcasm?
What a sadly maligned and misunderstood tribe we are! Cynicism, after all,
springs not from cruelty or viciousness, but from precisely the opposite: a
fatal love of virtue. If we were mere realists, we'd have no need for
cynicism; the world would never disappoint us because we'd expect so little
of it. But the best cynics are still idealists under their scarred hides. We
wanted the world to be a better place, and we can't shrug off the
disappointment when it lets us down. Our cynicism gives us the painful power to behold life shorn of its sustaining illusions. Thus my own definition of a cynic:
"an idealist whose rose-colored glasses have been removed, snapped in two and stomped into the ground, immediately improving his vision."
If we were activists, we'd do something constructive about our discontentment. But we're smart enough to know that we won't prevail, and
probably a little too lazy to attempt any labor that's predestined to fail.
So we retaliate with our special brand of wounded wit. If we can't defeat our
oppressors, at least we can mock them in good fellowship. That's about as
much justice as a cynic can expect.
How to join Fatmouse
Interested in joining Fatmouse? You do not become a cynic. You either are already a cynic. Or you are not a cynic. It is something you are, not what you become.
To be accepted into Fatmouse GTP, make three suggestions that could be added to the below list of vexations that a cynic recognises as being vexations. Based on those three suggestions, Fatmouse will decide on your authenticity as a cynic. If successful, your name will be placed on the Registry of Cynics. If unsuccessful, Fatmouse doesnt care.
UPDATE: It is possible for a current member to uplift their standing in terms of member status. One can move from an Official Emerging Cynic, to Official Executive Cynic with work over-and-above the call of duty.
Vexations
Overwork
Unemployment
"We'll keep your resume on file"
People whose cell phones ring at movies and funerals
Being ridiculed by your inferiors
Wondering if you're inferior to your inferiors
Going bald, especially if you're a woman
Getting stuck in a bad career
Realizing that a bad career makes a bad life
The demise of Western civilization
The triumph of degeneracy, barbarism, evil, and MBAs
Cheesy books that stay on the bestseller list for 187 weeks
Chronic disappointment
Eating bean sprouts and dying young anyway
Eternal damnation as your final reward
Registry of Cynics
Official Senior Executive Cynics (For work above-and-beyond the call of duty)
Milefile
Official Executive Cynics
Race Idiot
Gil
SandStorm
Pupik
Red Eye Racer
Neon_Duke
Kosmik Fool
Giles Guthrie
Emerging Cynics
Audi Racing
Dodge the Viper
Atomic Wedgie
Famine
· Fatmouse + you = Fatmouse
· Fatmouse can make you a winner. Fatmouse can make you a loser. Fatmouse doesnt care to make you a winner or a loser.
· Fatmouse is unmoved.
The Purpose of Fatmouse
Fatmouse GTP is dedicated to bringing cynics together. To rant. Cynically, about anything they chose.
What is a cynic?
Quoted:
Telling the truth can get you into hot water. As much as the world needs its
cynics, it still doesn't REALIZE that it needs them. Cynics today are
habitually castigated by politicians, corporate chieftains and other
productive citizens with tidy lawns; they know that we're on to them, so they
lump us with the lowest of the low. We're generally cast as the heavies in
the black hats, counterproductive miscreants who broil babies when we're not spray-painting obscenities on public monuments. We're portrayed as masters of chicanery and intrigue, untrusting and untrustworthy. Since we're neither leaders nor followers, we're expected to get out of the way -- and the
tidy-lawn folks get furious when we don't. Nobody loves a cynic, except maybe another cynic.
Even the dictionary definition of a cynic makes us look like scoundrels:
"a faultfinding captious critic; esp. one who believes that human conduct is motivated wholly by self-interest."
Aside from casting us in a negative light, Webster & Co. miss the point by
half a mile. Where's the hint of lost ideals, the rueful humor, the wounded
childlike soul that lurks behind the cynic's sarcasm?
What a sadly maligned and misunderstood tribe we are! Cynicism, after all,
springs not from cruelty or viciousness, but from precisely the opposite: a
fatal love of virtue. If we were mere realists, we'd have no need for
cynicism; the world would never disappoint us because we'd expect so little
of it. But the best cynics are still idealists under their scarred hides. We
wanted the world to be a better place, and we can't shrug off the
disappointment when it lets us down. Our cynicism gives us the painful power to behold life shorn of its sustaining illusions. Thus my own definition of a cynic:
"an idealist whose rose-colored glasses have been removed, snapped in two and stomped into the ground, immediately improving his vision."
If we were activists, we'd do something constructive about our discontentment. But we're smart enough to know that we won't prevail, and
probably a little too lazy to attempt any labor that's predestined to fail.
So we retaliate with our special brand of wounded wit. If we can't defeat our
oppressors, at least we can mock them in good fellowship. That's about as
much justice as a cynic can expect.
How to join Fatmouse
Interested in joining Fatmouse? You do not become a cynic. You either are already a cynic. Or you are not a cynic. It is something you are, not what you become.
To be accepted into Fatmouse GTP, make three suggestions that could be added to the below list of vexations that a cynic recognises as being vexations. Based on those three suggestions, Fatmouse will decide on your authenticity as a cynic. If successful, your name will be placed on the Registry of Cynics. If unsuccessful, Fatmouse doesnt care.
UPDATE: It is possible for a current member to uplift their standing in terms of member status. One can move from an Official Emerging Cynic, to Official Executive Cynic with work over-and-above the call of duty.
Vexations
Overwork
Unemployment
"We'll keep your resume on file"
People whose cell phones ring at movies and funerals
Being ridiculed by your inferiors
Wondering if you're inferior to your inferiors
Going bald, especially if you're a woman
Getting stuck in a bad career
Realizing that a bad career makes a bad life
The demise of Western civilization
The triumph of degeneracy, barbarism, evil, and MBAs
Cheesy books that stay on the bestseller list for 187 weeks
Chronic disappointment
Eating bean sprouts and dying young anyway
Eternal damnation as your final reward
Registry of Cynics
Official Senior Executive Cynics (For work above-and-beyond the call of duty)
Milefile
Official Executive Cynics
Race Idiot
Gil
SandStorm
Pupik
Red Eye Racer
Neon_Duke
Kosmik Fool
Giles Guthrie
Emerging Cynics
Audi Racing
Dodge the Viper
Atomic Wedgie
Famine
from the Fatmouse Voicepipe.
