Ah fancy gittin' in muh Dodge BIG RAM DICK pickup and herdin' dougies, family style. What ah do, is ah pick out some old racetrack somewhere, usually up in SEE-attle, but any track will do, ah rekon...
So I enter a family cup race in muh BIG RAM DICK Dodge pickup, which ah never worsh, by the bye, an' I enter muh rig in some old race, and set the difficulty level at a Mexican nine. That's MINUS nine, son.
When the race gits off an runnin, ah pick out some lil'ol'dougie an give him a helpin' hand. A push, son. Ah like to let em git off runnin on their own, just kinda hangin' back an watchin them sort it out on their own, till ah sees there's one hanging in the back, like a maverick heffir that can't catch up with his momma.
So I ram him. And ah push him.
Say it's up there in SEE-attle. Ah let them take off and line up for that first hard right hander. When they's all in a neat line, I slam into the tail end of the last one to kinda even up the herd. Then ah kinda hangs back and mosey along watchin them git ready to go up that old hill. That hill at the top is the Smith Tower, son. Was the tallest building west of Chicago when it was built, in case you were wonderin.
So when the herd is about to head out the hill, ah got my favorite dougie picked out, and ah sticks my nose on his tail, kinda nice and easy so's not to scare him none, cause they will tend to skitter some if yore too ruff with em, and ah push him right on up that big old hill.
This usually gits him up in front of the herd by a considerable piece, but just to be sure, I push him along thru downtown, down the hill. That big red brick buildin on the left is the rayroad station, son.
That gives muh lil dougie a big help. But jess to make sure the other dougies don't get a wild hare to mess with him, ah flip a brodie around to the Smith Tower, and hang out at the top of the hill, and wait for the rest of the herd to head up.
Then ah pushes them, too. Only this time, ah pushes the other way. Nose to nose. And ah don't push em gentle this time. I push em hard and fast. Yall ever see what happens to a itty bitty Sukiyaki or whatever them little rigs is called, you ever see one in a pushin' contest with a BIG RAM DICK Dodge four-by?
Ah like to try and make bank shots with em. Smack one so's he bounces off another and another, even better. Sometimes you can push them right down that hill..
Anyway, my little buddy is off running on his own now with a good head start and no traffic to fight. That's my job. Little buddy usually wins by a half a lap or better. It's purdy hard to keep em all back. One or two can usually make it up the hill. An ah like to ketchup with little buddy at the end to give him one last swat on the rump across the finish line.
So I enter a family cup race in muh BIG RAM DICK Dodge pickup, which ah never worsh, by the bye, an' I enter muh rig in some old race, and set the difficulty level at a Mexican nine. That's MINUS nine, son.
When the race gits off an runnin, ah pick out some lil'ol'dougie an give him a helpin' hand. A push, son. Ah like to let em git off runnin on their own, just kinda hangin' back an watchin them sort it out on their own, till ah sees there's one hanging in the back, like a maverick heffir that can't catch up with his momma.
So I ram him. And ah push him.
Say it's up there in SEE-attle. Ah let them take off and line up for that first hard right hander. When they's all in a neat line, I slam into the tail end of the last one to kinda even up the herd. Then ah kinda hangs back and mosey along watchin them git ready to go up that old hill. That hill at the top is the Smith Tower, son. Was the tallest building west of Chicago when it was built, in case you were wonderin.
So when the herd is about to head out the hill, ah got my favorite dougie picked out, and ah sticks my nose on his tail, kinda nice and easy so's not to scare him none, cause they will tend to skitter some if yore too ruff with em, and ah push him right on up that big old hill.
This usually gits him up in front of the herd by a considerable piece, but just to be sure, I push him along thru downtown, down the hill. That big red brick buildin on the left is the rayroad station, son.
That gives muh lil dougie a big help. But jess to make sure the other dougies don't get a wild hare to mess with him, ah flip a brodie around to the Smith Tower, and hang out at the top of the hill, and wait for the rest of the herd to head up.
Then ah pushes them, too. Only this time, ah pushes the other way. Nose to nose. And ah don't push em gentle this time. I push em hard and fast. Yall ever see what happens to a itty bitty Sukiyaki or whatever them little rigs is called, you ever see one in a pushin' contest with a BIG RAM DICK Dodge four-by?
Ah like to try and make bank shots with em. Smack one so's he bounces off another and another, even better. Sometimes you can push them right down that hill..
Anyway, my little buddy is off running on his own now with a good head start and no traffic to fight. That's my job. Little buddy usually wins by a half a lap or better. It's purdy hard to keep em all back. One or two can usually make it up the hill. An ah like to ketchup with little buddy at the end to give him one last swat on the rump across the finish line.
Im not sure I wanna know....
In the best possible way, of course! Love it!
