Funny/Strange News Stories

Not real news, but still funny.

A theoretical physicist calling himself Gordon calls Coast to Coast AM to discuss a G-Man that seems to be hanging around his office where they are working on portal technology.






It's funnier if you've actually played, or know the story behind Half Life.
 
She wants to be thought of as a human pet, but won't abide by pet rules?

I'm not defending the bus driver's actions, but she shouldn't defend herself by calling herself a human pet. Just use the term submissive and let it go.
 
This just about made me fall out of my chair laughing:

Woman Arrested After Accidentally Depositing Meth at ATM
BREMERTON, Wash. (AP) - A woman told police she mistakenly deposited a bag of methamphetamine into her account at an ATM machine in Bremerton.

She says in charging papers that she accidentally put the drug in the envelope when she reached into her pocket for money.

An employee of the Kitsap Credit Union told police that a bag showed up in a deposit envelope for the woman's account. It tested positive for meth.

She was arrested Thursday and charged Friday with felony drug possession.
Bremerton...where white-trash dreams come true!
 
Shop-owners sold chocolate cake sprinkled with human faeces

Two shop-owners were today fined for selling chocolate cake - which had been sprinkled with human faeces.

A horrified customer ate the foul-smelling gateaux but noticed that it didn't taste or smell "quite right" and handed the cake to public health scientists.

The analysts soon established that the sweet treat was covered in faeces and legal proceedings against the shop owners were started.

Shop owners Saeed Hasmi, 25, and Jan Yadgari, 23, were fined £1,500 for selling food unfit for human consumption.

The pair - who ran the Italiano Pizzeria in Roath, Cardiff - admitted the charge but did not say how the chocolate cake was contaminated.

The takeaway is a favourite with late-night revellers and students living around the takeaway close to Cardiff University.

A spokeswoman for the public health department in Cardiff City Council said: "The person who bought the cake realised it didn't taste or smell quite right so they reported it to us.

"Subsequent examination by the public analyst and national public health service laboratories confirmed the presence of faecal matter.

"There were bits of it all over the top of the cake.

"We cannot say for definite what kind of faecal matter it is, although it is very likely it was human. It would have to go through a DNA test for us to know for absolutely sure."

Hasmi and Yadgari at first denied the charge but pleaded guilty at Cardiff magistrates court before the trial.

Hasmi, of Roath, Cardiff, and Yadgari, of Adamsdown, Cardiff, were each fined £1,500 and ordered to pay £200 costs.

After the case Hasmi said: "It was not our fault but I don't want to talk about it.

"I'm not working in the food industry anymore. I want to do something else.

"We are sorry for the people who ate it," he said.

The case has taken 18 months to come to court and the pair have both left the Pizzeria.

Shams Mehrabi, who took over the Italiano Pizzeria in March, condemned the actions of the two men. He now has hygiene certificates on the wall and said: "I have the highest standards.

"This is a completely different business now. We have a lot of happy customers - we won't be selling chocolate cake."

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=513621
 
Shop-owners sold chocolate cake sprinkled with human faeces

Shams Mehrabi, who took over the Italiano Pizzeria in March, condemned the actions of the two men. He now has hygiene certificates on the wall and said: "I have the highest standards.

"This is a completely different business now. We have a lot of happy customers - we won't be selling chocolate cake."

Just don't ask where the soft cheese for the pizza's comes from :yuck:
 
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/02/27/nviagra127.xml

Too much Viagra leaves man seeing blue

Telegraph.co.uk
A man who took more than the recommended dose of Viagra to increase his capacity for sexual pleasure is claiming it has left him with blue vision.

John Pettigrew, 58, a heating engineer, said he is suffering from a permanent side-effect after taking extra pills that he bought on the internet.

The father-of-two said he regrets not heeding the advice of doctors and drug manufacturer Pfizer after only being able to see the world in shades of blue.

"I admit I ignored the advice on the packet," he said yesterday. "I was having too much fun.

"But I'd give up all the sex in the world to be able to see a red letterbox again."

"I have been seeing the world in blue for more than a fortnight now and it's doing my head in."

Mr Pettigrew, who lives in Brighton, East Sussex, added: "At least I'm a Chelsea fan."

The Kent firm Pfizer, which makes Viagra, say that people should not exceed the recommended dose as the drug can add a blue tint to users' eyesight.
 
Police sacked for seaside trips
27/2/2008

Gwent Police have sacked two officers after they took patrol cars on seaside trips while on duty.

The Independent Police Complaints Commission said two other Gwent officers were fined 13 days' pay and a fifth resigned ahead of a conduct hearing.

Gwent Police said officers must face the consequence of their actions.They have not been subject to a criminal charge.

IPCC commissioner Tom Davies said: "This investigation has shown that the public can have confidence that the IPCC and the police service will vigorously tackle misconduct."

Gwent Police said: "We will not tolerate any behaviour that falls below the standard expected and required to deliver a top quality service to the public of Gwent.

"As has been demonstrated in this case, any behaviour that threatens this delivery and the public's confidence in the force will be dealt with swiftly and fairly."

apprently 2 of them were photographed on a logflume in full uniform :lol:
 
:lol:

"gets new anus instead"... Priceless!


TM - I could never understand why those people do, it in the first place.
For me, that's not religion or display of faith; it's a circus freak show.
At least now they can do it 'properly'...
 
I could never understand why those people do, it in the first place.
For me, that's not religion or display of faith; it's a circus freak show.
At least now they can do it 'properly'...

What, get a second anus?
 
Good god, given the weather and where he was I'm surprised even the back of the thong couldn't his Family Planning officers.
 
Man kills wife trying to install Satellite TV

laughing1.gif
usflag.gif


http://www.kctv5.com/news/15698864/detail.html
 
Back