Funny/Strange News Stories

[HenrySwanson]

Heard about this on the radio yesterday:

Orangutan treats wound with traditional medicine in first for wild animals

Indonesian scientists document extraordinary case of Rakus the Sumatran orangutan, who covers his facial wound with mesh made from chewed leaves

www.independent.co.uk

Probably already has a better grasp of medicine than Trump.

 

[Liquid]

Not even an orangutan is stupid enough to think that bleach cleans your insides.

 

[p78]

In Trumps defence, does the orangutan even know about the existance of bleach.

 

[Blitz24]

Is this bad? It seems bad.
https://jalopnik.com/sail-gp-team-usa-crashes-racing-yacht-with-a-button-pre-1851458903

 

[UKMikey]

It was good of that guy to own up to pressing the wrong button, but I guess if the cap size fits you gotta wear it.

 

[TB]

 

[Blitz24]

 

[Famine]

Aurora Premieralis:

TikTokers fooled after ‘Northern Lights’ sighting was just Premier Inn sign

Karim Akhtar and Solomon Laurent were returning home from a night out on Friday in Norwich when the duo spotted what they thought was an unmistakable bright hue lighting up the Norfolk sky.

uk.news.yahoo.com

(although TikTokers do have form for pretending to be even dumber ****s than they really are in order to make "look at how dumb we is" videos, so probably fake)

 

[UKMikey]

What number plague was "cicadas" again?

Don't worry, the turkeys will gobble them all up leading to a patriotic poultry glut that the orange turd will doubtless try and take credit for:

Cicada dual emergence brings chaos to the food chain

When trillions of periodical cicadas emerge in a rare double event, they provide a disruptive feast for other species.

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[UKMikey]

Barrister – and sleepwalking expert – faces tribunal after falling asleep at inquest

Tribunal heard Ramya Nagesh, who was appearing remotely on behalf of nurse witness, fell asleep after eating baked potato

theguardian.com

 

[DG_Silva]

Nagesh fell asleep shortly after she began eating a baked potato

That's not the daftest thing to do after eating a baked potato...

Harvey blames potatoes for bizarre car accident

Troubled reality TV star Brian Harvey has provided an astonishing explanation for the bizarre and terrifying accident in which he was run over by his own Mercedes... claiming it was caused by a meal of three giant baked potatoes smothered in tuna mayonnaise and cheese

www.dailymail.co.uk

 

[UKMikey]

That's not the daftest thing to do after eating a baked potato...

Harvey blames potatoes for bizarre car accident

Troubled reality TV star Brian Harvey has provided an astonishing explanation for the bizarre and terrifying accident in which he was run over by his own Mercedes... claiming it was caused by a meal of three giant baked potatoes smothered in tuna mayonnaise and cheese

www.dailymail.co.uk

Spud he didn't like.

 

[TexRex]

‘They’re out of control’: flock of 100 feral chickens torments village | Norfolk | The Guardian

Residents of Snettisham, Norfolk, say birds are destroying their gardens, while food left out for them is attracting rats

amp.theguardian.com

Tory MP pleads for help ahead of local elections as he has no valid form of Voter ID

Campaign groups have warned that controversial voter ID rules may prevent people from voting

www.independent.co.uk

I'm not familiar with relevant law, but I don't suppose that's the sort of "emergency" for which emergency proxy voting was intended to apply. Also I don't expect many to be able to utilize it in these circimstances, but a whole lot of people relying on proxy voters because they lack necessary ID sure seems like a great opportunity for fraud rather than protecting against it.

 

[UKMikey]

I'm not familiar with relevant law, but I don't suppose that's the sort of "emergency" for which emergency proxy voting was intended to apply. Also I don't expect many to be able to utilize it in these circimstances, but a whole lot of people relying on proxy voters because they lack necessary ID sure seems like a great opportunity for fraud rather than protecting against it.

You need to provide a National Insurance number and a scan of your signature for each person you proxy vote for, up to four people.

 

[ScottPuss20]

‘They’re out of control’: flock of 100 feral chickens torments village | Norfolk | The Guardian

Residents of Snettisham, Norfolk, say birds are destroying their gardens, while food left out for them is attracting rats

amp.theguardian.com

Sounds like the residents are in a bit of a flap.

 

[ROAD_DOGG33J]

I came across this reading news, but the clip speaks for itself.

 

[Blitz24]

I came across this reading news, but the clip speaks for itself.

New way of spelling "right". I first thought he said "bite".

 

[TexRex]

I came across this reading news, but the clip speaks for itself.

I mean it's a phrase.

 

[UKMikey]

"Right" doesn't even have four letters...

 

[Aaronhuang]

Sounds like the residents are in a bit of a flap.

I'm more interested in who left a quart of pink prawns for a few chickens.

 

[Blitz24]

I mean it's a phrase.

It does when you spell it "rong".

 

[Liquid]

Rite in the butt. Y'know, it's a religious thing.

 

[TexRex]

Jerry Seinfeld Says He Misses “Dominant Masculinity”: “I Like A Real Man”

Jerry Seinfeld got nostalgic in a recent interview and says he misses "dominant masculinity."

deadline.com

The story isn't actually strange or funny, and is really just about missing something you thought existed because you were a kid and bought everything that anyone sold to you, but it was a perfect opportunity to use that gif and I wasn't going to miss it.

 

[ROAD_DOGG33J]

Michigan man with suspended license logs into Zoom court hearing while driving

“I don’t even know why he would do that,” the judge said.

www.nbcnews.com

Your honor my client has made some mistakes...

 

[CTznOfTime]

 

[05XR8]

Bathurst never disappoints.

Young driver in Maserati caught at Mt Panorama, Bathurst, speeding at almost triple the limit during double demerits

NSW Highway Patrol officers have allegedly caught a young driver travelling at almost 200km/h at Mt Panorama in a Maserati.

www.drive.com.au

 

[TexRex]

'What is she drinking then?': TPUSA promotion for raw milk features cow without udders

'Yeah, milk from a bull isn’t milk.'

www.dailydot.com

 

[UKMikey]

Inb4 "identifies as cow" conservative unijoke

 

[ROAD_DOGG33J]

Not sure if that was a mistake, it's more on-brand.

 

[Liquid]

To be honest, I laughed out of ridiculousness.