Funny things RICErs say (radically immature car enthusiasts)

Grandea GTR
The amount of people who claim that they're the founder/president/captain/(anything that has to with leadership) of DFW stancenation/stanceworks around here is absolutely bewildering.

Last night, a friend of mine asked me if I could help his friend out with a faulty alternator. I went ahead and said "sure".

He slowly responded back with a "thanks man, I think you'll like his car."

Usually, whenever a friend asks me if I could help their friend out, usually it is a subtly modified car, or it's a regular car.

This one was something special.

Earlier this morning, I waited for the guy out at the porch, in which shortly after I hear the noise of

"BRRRRRRAPPPPPPRAPRAPRAPBRRRRR"

Coming my way, followed by consistent squeaking and the sound of the subwoofer trying to escape the entire car.

Lo and behold, right in front of me is a flat black painted Lexus IS300, lowered to the ground like no other, with chromed donk-like wheels, no exhaust (guy told me that he was so low "exhaust be scrapin'"), stickers of women, stancenation, cambergang, stanceworks, Paul Walker and the like everywhere, bootleg brembo caliper covers, and a purple royal crown shift boot.

If that wasn't bad enough, there was also the guy's attitude.

The guy approached me and said "Ey man, is you the guy?" To which I said "Yeah."

He then follows up with a "Cool, cool, man. Now can you please hurry the 🤬 up and fix my 'Tezza bro? Cuz I can't be here all day."

:irked:

Excuse me?

I stopped the guy and told him to settle down, and asked him what went wrong with it.

Apparently asking someone like him to settle down pushes his buttons, to which, he completely disregards my question and gets right in front of my face.

"🤬, do you know who the 🤬 you is talking to right now?"

:odd:: "... My friend's friend?"

"NAW, 🤬, YOU IS TALKING TO THE BEST OF THE BEST IN STANCENATION, 🤬! AIN'T NONE OF YOUR CARS WORTH 🤬 COMPARED TO MINE, HOMIE! NOW HOW BOUT YOU SHUT THE 🤬 UP AND FIX MY 🤬 CAR????"

Sometimes, there are people who don't deliver service to people who show absolute disrespect. I'm one of those people.

I told him if he keeps on going with his rant, that he might as well find someone else. I shortly went for my front door.

"🤬 YOU BETTER BE KIDDING RIGHT NOW, I'M THE GUY WHO FOUND MOTHER:censored:ING DFW STANCENATION BRO, SEE ALL THOSE STICKERS? THEY ALL LEGIT, 🤬. NOW SHOW ME AND DA CAR SOME RESPECT AND WE WILL BE ON OUR MERRY WAY!!!!"

This guy's the founder of Stancenation? Where have I heard that before?

And why should I show respect back if all he is doing is disrespecting me?

I closed the door on him, closed the garage, and called my friend.

:indiff:: "Hey, if your friend calls and complains about me, I'll just say it was all his fault."
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I'd have popped him in the nugget.
 
On Sunday I was at the Super Car Sunday near me and a kid with a Hyundai Elantra GT came up to me and proceeded to talk up his car. He was saying he would easily keep up with me on Mulholland Highway so I said sure after the show let's go up there (thinking to myself this could be fun). The whole 🤬 show he keeps telling me all this crazy crap. Oh dude I know the owner of that McLaren 650s, dude I've driven that exact GT-R, dude I almost bought that car once (referring to a Porsche 911 GT3). Overall he was very nice about everything although he was annoying and I doubt truthful. Well after the show and he help me get some good pics of stuff we go up to Mulholland and he may have been wrong about his car but this kid (heck he was older than I am but I just refer to anyone within my age group or younger as kid including myself) was a great driver. It was just ridiculous what he'd say to get me to 'listen'.
 
Today I went to Canadian Tire with my dad and we seen a clean Z32 and it sounded amazing, had good wheels and seemed set nicely. Right after it left a newer style Civic Si pulls into where it was sitting. It had a black hood that I doubt was carbon fibre, dropped too low and a sticker on the bottom of the windshield. Guess which one had people walking around it :mad:.
 
Turbotwin01
Right after it left a newer style Civic Si pulls into where it was sitting. It had a black hood that I doubt was carbon fibre, dropped too low and a sticker on the bottom of the windshield. Guess which one had people walking around it :mad:.
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It's all about the VTEC for those kids, I'm guessing. Not that the vtec could do anything though if the car is as low as I'm imagining right now.
 
Turbotwin01
Today I went to Canadian Tire with my dad and we seen a clean Z32 and it sounded amazing, had good wheels and seemed set nicely. Right after it left a newer style Civic Si pulls into where it was sitting. It had a black hood that I doubt was carbon fibre, dropped too low and a sticker on the bottom of the windshield. Guess which one had people walking around it :mad:.
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They obviously don't know anything about cars and tasteful mods
 
It drives me crazy that very little people appreciate my completely stock E46 M3. I get so many looks when I say that I am keeping it stock.
 
hsv
You may want to link it rather than embed it, because both the title and thumbnail contain very clear expletives.
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Oops. Thanks, just noticed that lol, now I can't seem to un-embed it, can't seem to post the lnk only....working on it

Edit: fixed, finally
 
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Revival time!

It's not exactly the most ricer, but I don't know where else to put this. Some kid, who claims he knows a ton about cars, says that the Ferrari Enzo is the fastest supercar ever produced. When I told him it wasn't, he got all upset. The kid said a few swear words, and told me that I know absolutely nothing about cars and that I shouldn't be talking.
 
The easiest way to find out what "RICErs" say is to simply look at Car Throttle. This is a screenshot posted by a guy on there noticing that someone was being extra childish.
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A guy I work with said he loves(not just that he likes that brand, but that he follow the company closely and knows all there is to know about them) Subarus and then proceeded to ask if my BRZ was AWD. After answering no he proceeded to ask if it had a turbo. After answering no yet again he asked I was planning on doing an LS Swap(no disrespect to the LS engines, but LS swaps are pretty overplayed). Keep in mind I've had this conversation several times over the past year and a half.

One thing lead to another and he's telling me and the customer in front of us about his 4 wheeler that can do 80mph and "destroyed" a Civic while his friends "clocked [his] speed" and confirmed it was actually 86mph. He also "has" a "collection" of "fully restored" classic cars. Such as a '76 Gran Torino, '67 Impala, and an '86 El Camino, or something. I never know, the "collection" changes every time he tells the story. All this despite not having a ride to work every day and needing to take a cab. This was only after several catastrophic failures on his Ford Windstar put it out of commision(that part actually happened, though the details of what actually went wrong no one will ever know(he claims the transmission blew up because he lost everything above 2nd gear and had to do 55mph in said gear on his way to work)).

And he pretty much claims to have driven just about any car I mention, but he tends to only do that 3 times a week, lest I catch on to his lies. If I mention something really nice like an Aventador he'll be sure to bring up a new friend or family member(who somehow has a different car-related job every week) who has driven it. This week his brother drove a yellow Aventador off the ship at the docks in Baltimore. Next week, who knows, maybe he'll win WRC, F1, NASCAR, or a drag race, because those are the only motorsports that exist.

So even though he does actually own the 4 wheeler, I feel like his "talk to proof" ratio qualifies his stories for this thread.



Another guy who comes into where I work also told me that Carroll Shelby was on TV a few weeks ago talking about his "Final Mustang" with 900hp, that was metal flake silver and had blue pin stripes. But I'm pretty sure the Mustang he was talking about was this one:
aaron-paul-hugely-impressed-by-need-for-speed-mustang-video-78812-7 (1).jpg

From the Need For Speed movie. I'm pretty sure he was literally watching Need For Speed and thought it was real life, and no, I'm not kidding.

But that's less ricer and more just...dumb. The guy knows his stuff about guns, but the second he opens his mouth about anything else he just sorta makes stuff up as he goes along based on things he heard from the TV.
 
It's been a long time since my GTO days to get harassed by four pots again. This is why I hate having straight pipes. Even though I had some "resonators" installed, which eased the drone in the cabin, it's still a loud car.

I was on my way home after a long day at Uni. The main route I take is jam packed due to rush hour. So I decided to take a short cut. As I'm driving up to an intersection, the pedestrian counter jumped and went down 10 seconds. So I had only three seconds left to make this light. I floored it and all eight cylinders roared passed this Civic in the right lane I was in. I make it to the other intersection and make a right to get to my short cut.

Civic is stuck at a red light. I don't even notice this guy, until I see him come up fast in my rear view. I mean, this guy is hauling ass. I'm driving cautiously because this stretch of road is bumpy as hell. So when I see fit, I go into the oncoming lane for a brief moment.

Civic is just driving straight bouncing all over the road. He's tailgating me at this point. He thinks I'm driving slow on purpose to piss him off. I get to a four way stop. I'm turning left, but I let the guy to my left go, as it's his turn. Civic is impatient, pulls up to my right.

I move my car over because it's a tight squeeze. This guy tries to stare me down through my tints. When he sees that he's not getting anywhere, he just grinds the gears and floors it. Nearly hitting someone. You can hear the four pot with the fart can for miles.

Now in my younger days, I would've chased the asshat down. As you mature, and start to enjoy life without trying to show off or worry about what others think, you calm down. I just cursed him under my breath, shook my head, and said "You're not worth the gas". Went on my merry way to enjoy some tunes in traffic.


RICErs will be RICErs. No matter what year we're in, they'll never change.



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Another time, I'm filling up at my local gas station. As I'm filling up, this guy across me in a DC2 Teggy sees my car, compliments it, and we start talking cars. In the middle of the convo, this man states his love for the fumes. I politely stated my dislike for the same smell, and this man goes off on a rant.

I for one don't fancy having the oxygen in my brain replaced with cyclohexanes and cyclobutanes. I got a problem with being poisoned while reaching a "high". According to this man however I'm not a car guy and a lesser man because I don't share his same interest in the fumes.

I got a larger tank, so filling from nearly empty to full takes a solid 5 minutes, which for me is torture.

I just don't understand this mentality. Let's belittle this man for not appreciating the fumes from petrol.
 
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Team THRT Drift
I for one don't fancy having the oxygen in my brain replaced with cyclohexanes and cyclobutanes. I got a problem with being poisoned while reaching a "high". According to this man however I'm not a car guy and a lesser man because I don't share his same interest in the fumes.
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Is this what you actually told the poor guy? Because if it is, he might've not been taken aback by you simply not liking the smell, but for being as condescending as possible about it. lol
 
Doog
he might've not been taken aback by you simply not liking the smell, but for being as condescending as possible about it
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Condescension begets condescension.

I can't stand the smell of pump gas, and I really don't think that fact makes me less interested in cars than someone else. However, I think race gas smells fantastic, and knowing what it smells like may well indicate a deeper interest than others by virtue of my merely having been around it.
 
Doog
Is this what you actually told the poor guy? Because if it is, he might've not been taken aback by you simply not liking the smell, but for being as condescending as possible about it. lol
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No. I stopped talking after he went on a rant. Finished pumping got in my car and drove off.

No point in arguing with him.
 
Thread revival.

This kid in my neighborhood who I'm (sort of) friends with recently acquired his license and bought an '04 Infiniti Q45. A few weeks after buying it he swapped out the stock '18 wheels and replaced it with '23 donk-esque chrome rims, and also slightly lowered it. It ended up looking something like this:



Knowing that I'm into cars, he proceeds to brag to me about his ride one morning while walking to school.

"My Q45 does the 0-60 in under 5 secs, n*ggas know not to **** with my ride", he went on.

"You don't say" I laugh.

"Bruh it's a sedan GT-R I can smoke almost any Benz or Camaro in this muhfuc*a"

"The GT-R wasn't even out yet in 2004"

"You know what I mean fam. This **** is the real deal. It don't play. If ur gonna race my baby, boi you're gonna get a whoopin'"

"So an E55 AMG will lose to your (automatic) Q45 then"

"Hell yeah. In a straight line it will it's a ****in sleepah."

I ended the conservation at that.

He's engaged in street racing on many occasions, even getting told by the police that he'd need to quit it or else he'd end up getting his license suspended. Rumor has it he lost to an Acura RSX, after both doing burnouts at a red light, the RSX beat his Q45. No clue if that's actually true, it's what other kids in that apartment complex he lives in say.

Best part was, a few days ago, passing by his apartment, I notice that the front bumper is almost completely destroyed. And this happened after another street racing incident; he rear ended a minivan after not braking in time.

Some people :D:D
 
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