- 543
- Colorado
- lonewanderer85
- TJDAWG
Been a dad for almost 2 years now. I have 22 month old twins and a 1 month old. Good to see other dads on here:tup:
GTPlanet Dads!
- Thread starter photonrider
- 180 comments
- 17,421 views
- 7,436
- Canada
- photonrider
You lucky man.
I still haven't done this. Well, my eldest son is the car-freak like me, and I hope to have this pleasure one day. May as well tell you - married twice, divorced once (married my best buddy and we basically got bored with each other after 12 years) and my eldest son is from that marriage. First wife and I are still great friends, but my son lives with her, while the 2nd and 3rd son are with me and my second wife, (pictured above). The whole family gets together, wives and all, including in-laws, and I feel quite surreal. Best way I can put it.
As I'm writing this (I live 24-30 Hr days before I sleep) I can imagine you out there with your son - and if he is an axle-mad tramp like you . . . what a great memory. Take lots of pics. No need to remind you I guess.
Been a dad for just over 20 years now. I have fathered two more since my time here at GTPlanet. I know the list is longer, just takes some of us more time to get here.
to the dads out there!
Yeah -
we've come out of hiding . . heh, heh. Actually, you're right Pako, I noticed this place rife with Dads - and predominantly petrolhead Dads. The best gang ever, haha!Proud to have a Dad of twenty years here - lots of wisdom and experience packed into that skull I bet. (My Dad would explain why men had no hair on their heads: "Grass doesn't grow on a busy street")
I didn't want to be presumptious and add the names of the many guys out there that I've already traded posts with, whom I know to be Dads - so I left them an open invitation and hopefully a warm welcome and they'll drop those hammers and screwdrivers and eventually mosey on here to share Dadstuff, maybe get a laugh out of it, or learn something new.
I've seen pics of your family (after a bike ride?) you guys are so beautiful together - I was browsing past that day, and wanted to tell you that, but had no time to log in and post - so I'm glad I got the opportunity to do so now. 👍
Twins!? And another one? Are you out of your mind? MG - you are a brave man. LOL.
Good to have you here, too, you make me feel young right away - I know many young fathers IRL - I'm amazed sometimes at the new generation of fathers - incredibly focused on their kids. I think also lifestyles have changed so much, in fact exponentially, we have more time for our kids, more 'similar' to them in many ways - sharing technology together, etc., so we can identify deeper, pretty much get into their heads.
Wish you lots of luck with your bundles of joy. I know you are happy. And probably tired.
Welcome to the club. 👍
Cheers
Harry.
- 543
- Colorado
- lonewanderer85
- TJDAWG
It definitely is crazy and tiring We're making it though. Pretty awesome to watch and enjoy little ones growing up:tup:
We're making it though. Pretty awesome to watch and enjoy little ones growing up:tup:
- 19,013
- Jersey V.1.0
- axletramp
Just a few pics I thought were best for this thread. My little girl last weekend getting ready for the Battle of Flowers moonlight procession. She was loving all the make up and LED lights on her costume plus was allowed to stay up until 11:00pm for the fireworks...
And in action (still from video)...
Here are some random pics from the procession itself, if you're interested...
And in action (still from video)...
Here are some random pics from the procession itself, if you're interested...
- 7,436
- Canada
- photonrider
Axle - absolutely beautiful; your little girl looks so proud, and she's obviously on top of the world. 
Here's to 'Flower Power', hee hee. Those are great shots and convey a lot of atmosphere. Guess you had a ball at Le Mans with your son, too, good going, man. Back to work for me, but got a lot of projects rolling and so stealing a moment now and then to come hang out here.
My son who learned to fish a few weeks ago now seems to have turned into Old Man River, himself!
"Ssssh! I think I got a nibble."
Here's to 'Flower Power', hee hee. Those are great shots and convey a lot of atmosphere. Guess you had a ball at Le Mans with your son, too, good going, man. Back to work for me, but got a lot of projects rolling and so stealing a moment now and then to come hang out here.My son who learned to fish a few weeks ago now seems to have turned into Old Man River, himself!
"Ssssh! I think I got a nibble."
- 19,013
- Jersey V.1.0
- axletramp
That's one stealthy fishing technique there - hiding and fishing at the same time.
Yeah it was a great night and she really had a good time. Le Mans was simply quite brilliant and I'm looking at getting a track day car for us to do it more often. Here's a quick the thread about the trip.
Yeah it was a great night and she really had a good time. Le Mans was simply quite brilliant and I'm looking at getting a track day car for us to do it more often. Here's a quick the thread about the trip.
Syntax error
Staff Emeritus
- 3,438
- Melbourne
- Fett_up
- totallyfettup
She's very cute AT. 👍
Here are my two terrors:
Here are my two terrors:
- 7,436
- Canada
- photonrider
Haha, Syntax - yes, I can see you are extremely terrified, and I don't blame you one bit. Enjoy.
Axle - 'stealth fishing' . . . that's so funny. Yes, that about descibes what's happening.
Axle - 'stealth fishing' . . . that's so funny. Yes, that about descibes what's happening.
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- 7,436
- Canada
- photonrider
Guys - I'm in deep doodoo.
The conversation around the dinner table last night wasn't too good.
Basically both my younger boys - fresh to class again - one to Gr 7, the other to Gr 9, of a sudden demanded that I get them cellphones.
And I'm like : "HUh? What? Cellphones?" I attack the youngest one, hoping for a quick win - "Just when did 12 year olds have cellphones?"
Then they give me . . "The Look."
The Look = You. Are. So. Backward. Living in the past. Get with it, Pops. Etc.
A huge verbal battle then ensured which would have put both Obama and Romney to shame - but the bottomline they kept throwing at me was that every other student in the Grades had phones! (Oh, yeah - the big names were thrown at me - iPhone, Blackberry, et al.)
Now, I don't want them to feel left out, either, but this whole issue is making my head spin - did all the kids try this at home, too? Are we caught up in a vicious cycle of competing with the other parents who splashed out on iPhones?
Another phrase they threw at me : We're not in the Phone Club.
(Apparently if you're not in the Phone Club you are a leper.) WTH?
Anyway this is going to cost me another arm and leg. You'd think I was a bloody centipede.
How about you guys with school-going teens? Have you bought phones for them? And if so, some advice, please?
The conversation around the dinner table last night wasn't too good.
Basically both my younger boys - fresh to class again - one to Gr 7, the other to Gr 9, of a sudden demanded that I get them cellphones.
And I'm like : "HUh? What? Cellphones?" I attack the youngest one, hoping for a quick win - "Just when did 12 year olds have cellphones?"
Then they give me . . "The Look."
The Look = You. Are. So. Backward. Living in the past. Get with it, Pops. Etc.
A huge verbal battle then ensured which would have put both Obama and Romney to shame - but the bottomline they kept throwing at me was that every other student in the Grades had phones! (Oh, yeah - the big names were thrown at me - iPhone, Blackberry, et al.)
Now, I don't want them to feel left out, either, but this whole issue is making my head spin - did all the kids try this at home, too? Are we caught up in a vicious cycle of competing with the other parents who splashed out on iPhones?
Another phrase they threw at me : We're not in the Phone Club.
(Apparently if you're not in the Phone Club you are a leper.) WTH?
Anyway this is going to cost me another arm and leg. You'd think I was a bloody centipede.
How about you guys with school-going teens? Have you bought phones for them? And if so, some advice, please?
- 19,429
- HSV
My brother-in-law has a 12-year-old, and he uses the Tracfone method; basically, the phone is a $20 Samsung special, and he gives him a $20 phone card (rollover 120 minutes or 120 two-way texts) every month. Basically, this forces him to spend his minutes wisely. Considering the little phone also has a small camera, a calculator, weights-and-measures conversions, timer/alarm clock, calendar/appointment book functions, note-taking, full-keyboard, and two games...not a bad little toy even if you never load it up with a single minute. I use one as a back-up phone for work.
I think the "smartphones" run about $100+ each. And we've all been there: In retrospect one kid out of twenty likely has the nice phone because his parents have money out the wazoo or spend vicariously though them...I suppose there's Firefly Mobile for the kids, but that only gives them access to parents and emergency numbers. Might be a little babyish for the 'tweens, though.
Otherwise, it's a tricky getting into Molokai Island.
"All the other kids have a Nintendo NES"...well, that was the line my brother used. Even though we were almost 2 years behind, but enough of our friends had them, so it didn't matter that much. Can't recall saying that much, because I knew I had things plenty of other kids didn't (although, I'm not sure those World Book Encyclopedias were really desirable.)
I think the "smartphones" run about $100+ each. And we've all been there: In retrospect one kid out of twenty likely has the nice phone because his parents have money out the wazoo or spend vicariously though them...I suppose there's Firefly Mobile for the kids, but that only gives them access to parents and emergency numbers. Might be a little babyish for the 'tweens, though.
Otherwise, it's a tricky getting into Molokai Island.
"All the other kids have a Nintendo NES"...well, that was the line my brother used. Even though we were almost 2 years behind, but enough of our friends had them, so it didn't matter that much. Can't recall saying that much, because I knew I had things plenty of other kids didn't (although, I'm not sure those World Book Encyclopedias were really desirable.)
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- 7,436
- Canada
- photonrider
Thanks, Pupik. Phone card, yes. That would be the way to go. Limitations - that's what we need. Got to keep a leash on these puppies.
So basically, I'll get two 'lose-able' phones, hook them up with phone cards - and I guess, I'll watch the progress from there.
They are not the Facebooking type, Tweeters or Bloggers - but they do visit their individual Gaming Forums a lot (when they're not actually online playing such games) but they have wireless on their handhelds, and Toronto is soaked in Hotspots, so online is not so much a problem.
Most of the friends they play with IRL are also online - so they rarely call each other on the home phones unless it's to chat homework or make a playdate. Obviously they feel the need to have these phones due to peer pressure.
Gawd - they are going to get into texting now.
So basically, I'll get two 'lose-able' phones, hook them up with phone cards - and I guess, I'll watch the progress from there.
They are not the Facebooking type, Tweeters or Bloggers - but they do visit their individual Gaming Forums a lot (when they're not actually online playing such games) but they have wireless on their handhelds, and Toronto is soaked in Hotspots, so online is not so much a problem.
Most of the friends they play with IRL are also online - so they rarely call each other on the home phones unless it's to chat homework or make a playdate. Obviously they feel the need to have these phones due to peer pressure.
Gawd - they are going to get into texting now.
- 7,436
- Canada
- photonrider
A month and a half since Canadian kids went back to school - and bingo! Birthday parties!
What's with this? As soon as these guys get together - they start being born. Every week, it seems, I'm shelling out shekels for a birthday present, card, and may even have to drive the happy likkle party-goers to the party. Then you're put on hold - because you . . got to be ready for the pick-up.
It's been three Birthday Party invitations so far, and we've hardly begun school.
GTPLanet Dads - I hope you're all doing well, and your families are chugging along happily.
This is a picture of me and my youngest, on our first bike ride together, a couple of years ago. He had been riding around for a few weeks, in the parking lot, and a playing field nearby - so I decided to take him along to a Provincial Park, which was about 2 km away. First time he had been out on a public road, and then when I took him into the bike trails of the Provincial Park, he was in seventh heaven, trying out all the jumps and so on - but he was even more keen to go exploring deep into the forest - until we got kind of lost in the brambles - and I had to actually consult my iPhone compass to get my bearings and get back to some semblance of pathway back out into the more public areas of the park!
Those 'firsts' are always delightful memories.
Now that I think about it as I write this - I remember when we were on the more public areas of our ride - so many random people gave us big waves. That was either some immediate empathy with our happiness as we trundled along - or maybe the silly grins on our faces all the time.
Either way, the whole picture was good.
Here is when we were taking a break in a clearing; trusty old knock-around Kodak on timer:
What's with this? As soon as these guys get together - they start being born. Every week, it seems, I'm shelling out shekels for a birthday present, card, and may even have to drive the happy likkle party-goers to the party. Then you're put on hold - because you . . got to be ready for the pick-up.
It's been three Birthday Party invitations so far, and we've hardly begun school.
GTPLanet Dads - I hope you're all doing well, and your families are chugging along happily.
This is a picture of me and my youngest, on our first bike ride together, a couple of years ago. He had been riding around for a few weeks, in the parking lot, and a playing field nearby - so I decided to take him along to a Provincial Park, which was about 2 km away. First time he had been out on a public road, and then when I took him into the bike trails of the Provincial Park, he was in seventh heaven, trying out all the jumps and so on - but he was even more keen to go exploring deep into the forest - until we got kind of lost in the brambles - and I had to actually consult my iPhone compass to get my bearings and get back to some semblance of pathway back out into the more public areas of the park!
Those 'firsts' are always delightful memories.
Now that I think about it as I write this - I remember when we were on the more public areas of our ride - so many random people gave us big waves. That was either some immediate empathy with our happiness as we trundled along - or maybe the silly grins on our faces all the time.
Either way, the whole picture was good.
Here is when we were taking a break in a clearing; trusty old knock-around Kodak on timer:
- 17,335
- Seattle
- GTP_Gravitron
A big 👍👍 for bike rides with yer Dad. Best memories from my childhood involve my bike, and trying to race my Dad/brother/friend to some quickly-mentioned signpost up ahead.
The change of avatar, photonrider, combined with me finally finding and scouring this thread, has led me to the conclusion that you don't actually look like the gray-haired gentleman in GT5 photomode. For some reason I thought you did. I admire your dedication to REAL-LIFE and your sharing of it here in quality posts.
Dad of 4 here (10-17 age range), and things are tougher than I'd ever imagined.
But I wake up every day thinking about them. 
(Mostly because they are banging on the bedroom door yelling "Dad! Wake up! I need a ride to the busstop!"... We live in the sticks, a bit.
)
Congrats to all you Dads for furthering the species in the best way you know how. 👍
The change of avatar, photonrider, combined with me finally finding and scouring this thread, has led me to the conclusion that you don't actually look like the gray-haired gentleman in GT5 photomode.
For some reason I thought you did. I admire your dedication to REAL-LIFE and your sharing of it here in quality posts. Dad of 4 here (10-17 age range), and things are tougher than I'd ever imagined.
But I wake up every day thinking about them. (Mostly because they are banging on the bedroom door yelling "Dad! Wake up! I need a ride to the busstop!"... We live in the sticks, a bit.
)Congrats to all you Dads for furthering the species in the best way you know how. 👍
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- 7,436
- Canada
- photonrider
Oy vey, yikes! Kids in the 10 - 17 range . . . help!
LOL about the bedroom door - be thankful you have a door (I have one, too) I'm sure some poor Dads out there don't have one! They get stormed into awakening by some early morning human tornadoes that leap on them physically. 17 year olds can be tough to handle - good luck man. I know whatever tough times my kids and I go through though, when push comes to shove, they'll stand by me and will be ready to defend me with all they have. I guess the early years are very important - the closer we bond with them in those early years, the more they feel comfortable trusting our authority, and actually getting to know that 'fatherliness' a man gives his children.
Thank you also for the kind words - more substantial when coming from a member of the staff here - yes, I do love the community here, and how well-run and decent a Forum it is - so I try to do my best to also plant stuff in the garden that'll grow and be of benefit - if not to all then at least to some.
My present avatar - from the GTPlanet Collection - was my first avatar, and the one my long standing buddies here are familiar with since I wore it for a very long time, but on occasion I wear the face of the Silver Fox from GT5 Photomode just to generate a bit of interest in the GT5 Forums - as in: WTH have I seen that guy before?
Welcome to the world of GTPlanet Dads, and hope to hear the odd story from you now and then. Name added to list of long-suffering Dads.
Regards
Harry.
LOL about the bedroom door - be thankful you have a door (I have one, too) I'm sure some poor Dads out there don't have one! They get stormed into awakening by some early morning human tornadoes that leap on them physically. 17 year olds can be tough to handle - good luck man. I know whatever tough times my kids and I go through though, when push comes to shove, they'll stand by me and will be ready to defend me with all they have. I guess the early years are very important - the closer we bond with them in those early years, the more they feel comfortable trusting our authority, and actually getting to know that 'fatherliness' a man gives his children.
Thank you also for the kind words - more substantial when coming from a member of the staff here - yes, I do love the community here, and how well-run and decent a Forum it is - so I try to do my best to also plant stuff in the garden that'll grow and be of benefit - if not to all then at least to some.
My present avatar - from the GTPlanet Collection - was my first avatar, and the one my long standing buddies here are familiar with since I wore it for a very long time, but on occasion I wear the face of the Silver Fox from GT5 Photomode just to generate a bit of interest in the GT5 Forums - as in: WTH have I seen that guy before?
Welcome to the world of GTPlanet Dads, and hope to hear the odd story from you now and then. Name added to list of long-suffering Dads.
Regards
Harry.
- 17,335
- Seattle
- GTP_Gravitron
Back to this. Nice to meet you, Harry, and very insightful post. 👍
The 17yr-old is not tough at all. She's the perfect offspring. That's typical of eldest siblings.
(I'm one too)None of my bad habits, and all of her Mom's good habits (as it should be).
Her 15yr-old brother is quite vocal in his quest for the bolded part above...defending ol' Pa.
Sometimes I just have to let him take over the argument-at-hand because he's already smarter than me!
That said, I'm a bit more worried than I was with his older sister about this weekend...his first Driver's Ed in-car session.
Tonight during practice I said "OK, speed up a little", and the guy decided to floor it for a good 3sec.
Good thing it's a 6-banger Chevy Trailblazer so it only wasted some gas and increased in speed by about 2mph.
Re-regards,
Lucas
- 7,436
- Canada
- photonrider
Back to this. Nice to meet you, Harry, and very insightful post. 👍
The 17yr-old is not tough at all. She's the perfect offspring. That's typical of eldest siblings.
None of my bad habits, and all of her Mom's good habits (as it should be).
You are truly blessed, then, for having a daughter like that - and it is also obviously the effect of good upbringing. Many of the eldest kids in a family (especially a single parent family) have to naturally take on responsibility, and if there are other siblings, (whether both parents are around or not) naturally take up being mini-parents. I am an eldest kid, too, and when I look back on my life, I see that the younger ones had a much easier time than I did.
My youngest is like this - and if he's around when anyone else in the family so much as throws the most casual critique my way, will usually get the sharp edge of his tongue!
('course, he is the only one who can criticise me.
) He's twelve now - but still throws me the frequent "I love you, Dad."That said, I'm a bit more worried than I was with his older sister about this weekend...his first Driver's Ed in-car session.
Tonight during practice I said "OK, speed up a little", and the guy decided to floor it for a good 3sec.
Good thing it's a 6-banger Chevy Trailblazer so it only wasted some gas and increased in speed by about 2mph.
Re-regards,
Lucas
Was dipping in and out sporadically a day ago and caught this post - made me smile - because, Lucas, - I did the same thing with my friend Daryl, when trying to drive his Morris Minor for the first time. And it was manual. He was teaching, and seventeen. I was sixteen. Car lurches forward, panic, press the gas harder in terror, yelling, screaming.. . . .
Refusal to drive ever again.. . .
The best laid plans of mice and men.. . . .
- 7,436
- Canada
- photonrider
"We'll see.. . ."
These are magic words. I think most Dads will know what I mean.
Remember the whole "We need cellphones!" episode a while back? This all happened at the beginning of the school year - with good reason, I guess, since they went back to school and were immediately plunged into keeping up with the High School Joneses. That all ended with my "We'll see!" and there was quiet for awhile. In fact they haven't broached the subject since that day. In any case they are apt to borrow mine when they need it, or a study buddy's when they are around. So no more pressure while I mull over the problem.
Well - today, along comes a major electronic superstore's Ad flyer screaming about a deal on iPhone 4's for $0.00 down, though tied to a contract.
Hmm. I'm tempted now.
"We'll see!" I tell myself.
These are magic words. I think most Dads will know what I mean.
Remember the whole "We need cellphones!" episode a while back? This all happened at the beginning of the school year - with good reason, I guess, since they went back to school and were immediately plunged into keeping up with the High School Joneses. That all ended with my "We'll see!" and there was quiet for awhile. In fact they haven't broached the subject since that day. In any case they are apt to borrow mine when they need it, or a study buddy's when they are around. So no more pressure while I mull over the problem.
Well - today, along comes a major electronic superstore's Ad flyer screaming about a deal on iPhone 4's for $0.00 down, though tied to a contract.
Hmm. I'm tempted now.
"We'll see!" I tell myself.
- 17,335
- Seattle
- GTP_Gravitron
As a reference, I pay $190 a month
for 2 smartphones and 2 dumbphones with TMobile, with unlimited texts and data, and some reasonably small number of minutes for old-school TALKING. 
My company is finally stepping into the 21st century, so it looks like I may finally get myself a smartphone as well. 👍 With the dumbphone they've provided me for the last decade, with no texting plan, my kids have told me that I'm "really hard to get ahold of...". Yeah, right. Just call me, like we used to do back in the stone age.
for 2 smartphones and 2 dumbphones with TMobile, with unlimited texts and data, and some reasonably small number of minutes for old-school TALKING. My company is finally stepping into the 21st century, so it looks like I may finally get myself a smartphone as well. 👍 With the dumbphone they've provided me for the last decade, with no texting plan, my kids have told me that I'm "really hard to get ahold of...". Yeah, right. Just call me, like we used to do back in the stone age.
- 7,436
- Canada
- photonrider
...................my kids have told me that I'm "really hard to get ahold of...". Yeah, right. Just call me, like we used to do back in the stone age.
Call you? That's blasphemy! That's like talking to a real person - how boring!
Yes, I was reading a book recently (iBrain) that detailed exactly how the younger generation have jumped the generation gap; and the new syndrome that is taking over their lives; called NDD or nature deficit disorder.
I have to make sure my kids get real face-time with people and nature or else they start behaving like a brain in a jar.
The disadvantage about having a smartphone (esp. one with video-calling) is that you can be located immediately (and visually). Not really a tool that a ninja Parent needs. Or a sneaky husband. ("That doesn't look like a gym!") Or falsely-sick employee. Can you imagine a boss calling when you're sick and asking you to stick out your tongue? "Simon! Pink tongue! Get your ass into work!"
I guess it might have its uses, though.
However, progress is progress; the noose around our necks get tighter.
I'm still fighting off the horde; we were tempted by the iPhone deal, but it blew over. Just a waiting game now. Christmas is around the corner. There may be other deals. We'll see.
- 7,436
- Canada
- photonrider
Came across this the other day - and couldn't believe my eyes:
We've come a long way, Virginia.
Showed it to my youngest son and he positively freaked out.
"Is this how you learned to smoke?" he asked me. "How silly to make something like that."
"Well, the world does get smarter, you know," I replied, "we only use candy ciggies now to try and stop smoking."
I doubt he believed me.
We've come a long way, Virginia.
Showed it to my youngest son and he positively freaked out.
"Is this how you learned to smoke?" he asked me. "How silly to make something like that."
"Well, the world does get smarter, you know," I replied, "we only use candy ciggies now to try and stop smoking."
I doubt he believed me.
- 7,436
- Canada
- photonrider
Father's day around the corner . . . time flies.
Boy, you Dads are busy!
I was expecting some discussion about the pack of candy cigarettes and how in a generation passed we had a different kind of 'father' - the type that smoked so sexily that we would need candy ciggies as kids to emulate them.
Nowadays, of course, modern fathers would never hear of encouraging their kids with such stuff - in fact I don't really like my kids walking around with candy cigarettes in their mouths. Especially if the pack belongs to me.
Boy, you Dads are busy!
I was expecting some discussion about the pack of candy cigarettes and how in a generation passed we had a different kind of 'father' - the type that smoked so sexily that we would need candy ciggies as kids to emulate them.
Nowadays, of course, modern fathers would never hear of encouraging their kids with such stuff - in fact I don't really like my kids walking around with candy cigarettes in their mouths. Especially if the pack belongs to me.
- 8,945
- F1 chimp land
- AnotherStory
I remember me "smoking" chocolate cigarettes when I was a child. Lucky me I never started smoking seriously.
- 7,436
- Canada
- photonrider
I grew up with poker-playing, smoking, drinking, guitar-playing, bacon-loving, hairy-faced men. All my uncles and male cousins were into it. Some female cousins, too. (Sans the hairy-faces, of course) We have a huge family and in the 'old days' people would often gather together on a weekend or holiday for a whole day of revelry. There was no social networking, no bulk e-mailing to relatives.
These men were my heroes - so I guess I ended up emulating them to some extent.
I show my kids that smoking addictively is a weakness; that I'm less of a man when I smoke, and I constantly try to project that image - so far so good; they dislike smoking and is one of the things (smelling tobacco-smoke on my clothes) they give me heck for.
Which is good. My plan to raise non-smokers is working.
The point I was trying to raise though, was how we have changed in the last few decades as fathers - while we were not averse to wrestling with every addiction possible (and enjoying the match till death did us part) in our youthful heyday, we do our best now as 'the modern father' to teach our kids a healthier lifestyle.
In fact many fathers spend a lot of time at home actually talking and interacting with their kids, than I would think in the past; single fathers abound too, than before, and there are many stay-at-home fathers.
Most of my high-school buddies, who had smoker fathers, smoke. Most of my buddies who don't smoke never had fathers who smoked. Generally. There are always exceptions to the rule; maybe none of my kids will take up smoking - though I was a heavy smoker.
Now I might have a couple of cigarettes a day - sometimes with a cup of tea, or a drink at night - but even those are had alone.
These men were my heroes - so I guess I ended up emulating them to some extent.
I show my kids that smoking addictively is a weakness; that I'm less of a man when I smoke, and I constantly try to project that image - so far so good; they dislike smoking and is one of the things (smelling tobacco-smoke on my clothes) they give me heck for.
Which is good. My plan to raise non-smokers is working.
The point I was trying to raise though, was how we have changed in the last few decades as fathers - while we were not averse to wrestling with every addiction possible (and enjoying the match till death did us part) in our youthful heyday, we do our best now as 'the modern father' to teach our kids a healthier lifestyle.
In fact many fathers spend a lot of time at home actually talking and interacting with their kids, than I would think in the past; single fathers abound too, than before, and there are many stay-at-home fathers.
Most of my high-school buddies, who had smoker fathers, smoke. Most of my buddies who don't smoke never had fathers who smoked. Generally. There are always exceptions to the rule; maybe none of my kids will take up smoking - though I was a heavy smoker.
Now I might have a couple of cigarettes a day - sometimes with a cup of tea, or a drink at night - but even those are had alone.
- 7,436
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- photonrider
Finally - the dreaded question comes up.
I have been through this with my elder boys - and I'm still not sure whether I gave them the right answers.
I guess, as Dads, we'll carry some of these decisions to the grave.
Anway - to get to the point, my youngest son, just turned teen, and now turning the corner towards fourteen approached me with the dreaded question. How do I answer? A few days gone now, and I still have not given him my answer. It was not so much a question, really, as a statement. A demand.
"Dad, I need a Facebook account."
"All my friends have one."
"We need it for Homework."
Advice?
I have been through this with my elder boys - and I'm still not sure whether I gave them the right answers.
I guess, as Dads, we'll carry some of these decisions to the grave.
Anway - to get to the point, my youngest son, just turned teen, and now turning the corner towards fourteen approached me with the dreaded question. How do I answer? A few days gone now, and I still have not given him my answer. It was not so much a question, really, as a statement. A demand.
"Dad, I need a Facebook account."
"All my friends have one."
"We need it for Homework."
Advice?
Dragonwhisky
Premium
- 6,345
- the land of green, hills, rocks & whiskey
- Dragonwhisky
That's a hard one. When the military in the US has actually started doing some of their business over Facebook, mostly just so they can keep up with the kids that are joining, it makes it even harder for parents to deny their children such. I've been a dad for almost thirty years now and a granddad for a tad over 8. My advice to you on this is the same as what I did when my son was getting into setting up web pages and doing a little html coding when he was about 10. Do it with them. Get your own, if you don't have one already, and keep an eye on how and what they do with theirs. Guide their discretion. Which amounts to mostly, if you don't want the world to know something, don't put it on facebook.
Good luck with that in any case.
Good luck with that in any case.
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- GTP_Gravitron
What @Dragonwhisky said. 👍
- 7,436
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- photonrider
Maybe I shouldn't have worried so much - but being a modern parent can be overwhelming considering the choices that younger folk have today. In my time it was grabbing a cricket bat and go hunting for some neighborhood boys to go down to the field and have a game.
But . . . some further developments:
First - FB announced a few weeks ago that their stats showed younger teens are deserting the site.
Second - to bolster this fact - after I had let him set up an account and he had dabbled for a few days, I noticed he had gone back to his usual sites - Youtube for music videos, a Minecraft server, a Pokemon forum, etc . . . and so I queried - "How do you like Facebook?'
"Boring." He shrugs. "I'm just using it now and then to keep tabs on them."
Sometimes things left well enough alone right themselves, eh?
Harry.
But . . . some further developments:
First - FB announced a few weeks ago that their stats showed younger teens are deserting the site.
Second - to bolster this fact - after I had let him set up an account and he had dabbled for a few days, I noticed he had gone back to his usual sites - Youtube for music videos, a Minecraft server, a Pokemon forum, etc . . . and so I queried - "How do you like Facebook?'
"Boring." He shrugs. "I'm just using it now and then to keep tabs on them."
Sometimes things left well enough alone right themselves, eh?
Harry.
- 19,429
- HSV
Sometimes, I'm just glad my kids keep things relatively simple; then again, they're 2 and 6. Daughter's taken an interest in Minecraft (not online) and still plays with Lego and cars, helping Daddy with building/repairing stuff but also discovered the world of Barbie. Son's ever-fascinated with cars and planes, roads and bridges, and stealing Barbie items to get his sister's attention.
Both always want to take pictures with my camera, which is kind of frustrating for them both when I give them a firm NO. Although, I weaken when I'm alone with the daughter, and show her how and why to focus, compose...although I preset the exposure settings. I still want to encourage their creativity and this puts me in a bind. A toy digicam ($40) hadn't satisfied them for long.
Both always want to take pictures with my camera, which is kind of frustrating for them both when I give them a firm NO. Although, I weaken when I'm alone with the daughter, and show her how and why to focus, compose...although I preset the exposure settings. I still want to encourage their creativity and this puts me in a bind. A toy digicam ($40) hadn't satisfied them for long.
- 7,436
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- photonrider
So many books, so little time. . .
Pupik, my kids took up photography seriously from around 8 onward, each one's interest peaking at around this time. Of course, they cannot help seeing Daddy with a camera all the time - so they have to follow suit. It's amazing how creative and how absorbed they will get if given the tools - I let them play around with my older video cameras, and also a compact digital that I gave them to use. Animated movies were churned out galore - including the making of subtitles, sound effects, etc (they would use iMovie for post-processing.)
My oldest is now 21, and in Uni. He lost interest in photography after awhile (under than for candid shots, and photos involved with his group (used to play Bass, now plays Lead) but when he was around 12 he did start up his own website centered around the Gran Turismo series. It did quite well, and was extremely busy during the heyday of GT4. It fell into neglect as he moved on to other things - especially his music and schoolwork, left it in the hands of others - and the last time I dropped in there it was very quiet - just one mod and about twenty core members that still linger. I never interfered or contributed to the site - it feels a bit odd sometimes to hang out with your kid and his friends - esp when the swear words start flying.
I was glad that he focused more on his school work though - and in between a part-time job, his band (already cut one CD and another album on the way) and Uni he is extremely busy.The good part - he's all grown up. I don't have that 'worry' one has constantly on their mind when one is a younger Dad with younger kids.
My middle boy - now pushing 16 and in a special school for gifted kids (away from home presently and boarded) took to the camera like a duck to water. He well-nigh destroyed a bunch of equipment, but was an absolute genius when it came to being creative, and was absorbed with it till around 13. Something happened at 13. (Puberty?
) and he gradually lost interest in it, plunging into the Internet more often and never getting his head out of the computer/console reality. The only three dimensional (if you could call it that) activity he was interested in was cooking, and he had magic hands when it came to making food - anything he cooked was food for the gods. He had an acute sense of smell and hearing (we had to be careful with loud noises around him) and combined with his precociousness was quite a handful. Thankfully, as an older teen he has learned to harness all that wild mental and physical energy and is fitting in with a world that moves at a slower pace than he does.The youngest one, pushing 14 now, is still at home - and I'm beginning to get that 'empty nest' feeling. I feel that he is the most creative one, handles a camera like he was born to it, and became the 'Family Photographer' from around the age of 9. He takes wonderful pictures, amazingly well-composed, and has a steady hand, so his pics are most always great. However, while very creative (draws his own comics, and makes copies and even sells them) camerawork to him was usually of the 'work' sort. Pictures were taken, not as art, but as a means of recording. Nowadays, unless I actually press a camera into his hands and say 'Take pictures', he would never go there by himself - more into maintaining his Internet sites (at 13, he's a mod at one site
) and his studies. His last report card showed A's (that's a 'Distinction' in Brit grades) right down the board and I was simply flabbergasted (though I didn't show it) I never did that well myself.I read about you younger Dad's, and I shudder in fright, well sort of. Why? Life is so much easier for me now. I didn't realise how much stress we undergo as younger Dads with younger children. It seems like I was in some strange land, and only just now woken up to the fact that I have got my life back. As the kids get older, more independent, and come into their own, we discover more time for ourselves and seem to lapse back into the personalities that we were, pre-children.
More, later - but I would love to hear from you Dad's out there, too; remember this is the 'tips, tricks, and info' thread for us GTP Dad's.
The pic was taken about a week ago at work. I'm a lot older than I look. The camera always lies.
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