Guess Who's Newly Employed! (Apart from Bee)

[Danny]

I have a job in Ikea Leeds!

Ok, so first we filled out application forms online.
Then since my application was succesful, they invited me to an induction day last Tuesday, filled with tests and team-building exercises.

Oddly, we were all secretly graded on our test results and team building results, and the pass score was 60%.

I was rang about 20 minutes ago and told that I'd passed with a score of 84%!
I was given some details about an introduction weekend this weekend.

I'll be working in the (try not to giggle like I did) Bedroom Department.
Anyone need beds?

 

[DuckRacer]

I'll be working in the (try not to giggle like I did) Bedroom Department.
Anyone need beds?

I do! I do!

Anyway, congrats. 👍

 

[Roo]

Nice one. Money is always welcome. Have fun!

 

[Kylehnat]

Work is kind of lame in general, but if you like what you do, it's alright. The money is always worth it though .

Have fun!

 

[Jondot]

What an awesome place to work!

Congrats, Danny! Bedrooms, you say. Did they put you there after you mentioned your long experience with wardrobes?

 

[Pink_the_Floyd]

Nice job, hey Dan, where you at?



...


You sleepin' again?! Huh, whut?

 

[CDailey]

Congrats. I'll be turning my application to EB Games in tomorrow.

 

[Danny]

I do! I do!

Anyway, congrats. 👍

Then buy them

Nice one. Money is always welcome. Have fun!

Yay! Money!

Work is kind of lame in general, but if you like what you do, it's alright. The money is always worth it though .

Have fun!

I enjoyed working in Financial Admin for a while. And again, Yay! Money!

What an awesome place to work!

Congrats, Danny! Bedrooms, you say. Did they put you there after you mentioned your long experience with wardrobes?

I'm afraid that never came up! I do consider myself an expert in the field however...

Nice job, hey Dan, where you at?



...


You sleepin' again?! Huh, whut?

Won't ever happen though, I'm an eager beaver!

Congrats. I'll be turning my application to EB Games in tomorrow.

Good luck!

I think the Ikea pay is £6/hour. My mum knows this one kid who got given a mountain bike by Ikea for his birthday. They're well known for their generosity to staff, so I'm looking forward to that element.

'Specially since my birthday is coming up...

Two slys in one post. I think I beat my Personal Best of one.

 

[daan]

Congrats on the job.

Gonnae send me some pear cider?

 

[Danny]

Congrats on the job.

Gonnae send me some pear cider?

Sure. I'm afraid it will be flat-pack though, and will have a really silly name.

The "gonnae" (I'm assuming a typo) accentuates the Scottish accent

 

[amp88]

Congrats on the job.

Gonnae send me some pear cider?

Pear cider is indeed the best product ever to come out of IKEA. Congrats on the new job though 👍

edit: "Gonnae" is the correct spelling and the pear cider is called Kopparberg.

 

[daan]

Gonnae = Are you going to.

And I'd prefer a six pack to a flat pack.

 

[Danny]

Gonnae = Are you going to.

And I'd prefer a six pack to a flat pack.

I know that Gonnae means going to, but I didn't think you'd use such foul language (Scottish)...

I suppose I can't talk, having spent the first 4 years of my life near Glasgow.

Edit: And you'll get what you're given!

 

[amp88]

but I didn't think you'd use such foul language (Scottish)...

How no?

(Sorry, this has rather quickly turned into the "celebrate Scottish drunkenness and lack of proper English thread")

 

[daan]

D'ye hink sae?

 

[amp88]

D'ye hink sae?

Och aye. Nae danger mucker.

 

[ExigeEvan]

Well done Danny 👍

I've put in a few CVs and application forms recently. I'm hoping the most that Tesco gets back to me out of all of them. Tesco is everything, everything is within Tesco.

 

[Danny]

Sounds like buddhist zen prayer, Evan.

"Tesco is everything"

 

[ExigeEvan]

Sounds like buddhist zen prayer, Evan.

"Tesco is everything"

That's becuase Tesco is a religion. I eat Tesco, Drink Tesco, Sleep Tesco (Well maybe not...yet), my car is powered by Tesco, my CD and DVDs are burned on Tesco DVDs.

Tesco is everything, everything is within Tesco.

 

[Dave A]

Congrats Danny, I know who to ask for discounted beds from now on.

 

[Danny]

That's becuase Tesco is a religion. I eat Tesco, Drink Tesco, Sleep Tesco (Well maybe not...yet), my car is powered by Tesco, my CD and DVDs are burned on Tesco DVDs.

Tesco is everything, everything is within Tesco.

Which supermarket is the right one?

Which should I shop at to get into heaven?

Thanks Dave

 

[ExigeEvan]

Which supermarket is the right one?

Which should I shop at to get into heaven?

Thanks Dave

I take it you are familiar with Christianity?

If you pray at home, that's the bottom rung. It'll help you get into Heaven, but it won't guarantee it. That's compararble to going to a Tesco Metro.

Now if you go to church once a week, that's like going to you standard Tesco. It'll help alot, but you'll have to watch that you don't sin too much.

Now if you're like me, you'll find a Tesco Extra and go atleast 1 a week, probably twice. There you will be amazed at how toothpaste is sold meer yards from plasma TVs, and the great walls of Becks and Carlsberg. When you reach this level you may sin as much as you like (For example, you could buy a sandwhich from co-op!!) and still enter Supermarket Heaven.

 

[Dave A]

What would you prey on at home, I don't tend to keep livestock or anything people would normally kill or hunt in my house. I wouldn't have thought many other people would either .

 

[TB]

Congrats!

Now that you are making money, think you could buy (and ship) me the Top Cat box set we were talking about? Huh? Huh?

 

[Evolution.]

Go bag my groceries!

Er...



Just kidding man . Congrats.

 

[Danny]

I take it you are familiar with Christianity?

If you prey at home, that's the bottom rung. It'll help you get into Heaven, but it won't guarantee it. That's compararble to going to a Tesco Metro.

Now if you go to church once a week, that's like going to you standard Tesco. It'll help alot, but you'll have to watch that you don't sin too much.

Now if you're like me, you'll find a Tesco Extra and go atleast 1 a week, probably twice. There you will be amazed at how toothpaste is sold meer yards from plasma TVs, and the great walls of Becks and Carlsberg. When you reach this level you may sin as much as you like (For example, you could buy a sandwhich from co-op!!) and still enter Supermarket Heaven.

But what of the temptation of ASDA? The forbidden fruit?

Congrats!

Now that you are making money, think you could buy (and ship) me the Top Cat box set we were talking about? Huh? Huh?

Thanks. You'll be more satisfied if you've earned the Top Cat dvds (his friends get to call him T.C.).

Nice try though

Go bag my groceries!

Er...



Just kidding man . Congrats.

Thanks. Ikea don't seel groceries. Just flat-pack furniture, stuffed animal snakes and D'aim (Dime) bars.

 

[ExigeEvan]

Go bag my groceries!

Er...



Just kidding man . Congrats.

Ikea is predominatly a flat-pack furniture shop.

But what of the temptation of ASDA? The forbidden fruit?

ASDA is like a "the world will end tomorrow" cult. Full of idiots.

For example, what sort of company can use scissors in their marketing campaign? With the level of depression and emoness in the UK half the country break down crying at the mere sight of them.

 

[daan]

Tesco is everything, everything is within Tesco.

 

[ExigeEvan]

If you could make that 100x100 (My MSPaint skills suck) I will lick your proverbial shoes.

 

[daan]

'tis a bit small and you can't really see it