I am WHAT ?

[Klostrophobic]

I rarely work in the rain, but my face does resemble a saucepan.

 

[Matrixhasu77]

Matrixhasu77 is a golf club! It keeps drinks hot!
Quischen is a spanner that can be programmed to perform simple tasks, fits in your pocket and is designed by Terence Conran.
Snoopie is a stereo system that stays sharp forever!
Sage is like a normal umbrella, but it moulds vegetables.
Jordan is a breakfast cereal that sounds better than it looks! It is invisible to the naked eye and rotates at high speed.
Conan O' Brien is like a normal dog collar, but it plays MP3s.

 

[Duke]

neon_duke is a video recorder that can be taken on holiday! It helps around the home and obeys simple instructions.

That's frighteningly accurate...

 

[VIPFREAK]

VipFREAK is a shoe-shiner that tracks its position with GPS and can help you lose weight.

 

[the_cobbinator]

the_cobbinator is a CD player that removes stubborn stains, emits heat and works in the rain.

Hey, I got one of those for Christmas.

 

[Tom M]

bill gates is a human clone that's voice-activated!

George W. Bush is a fridge magnet that runs on compressed air, is completely reversible and hovers.

John Kerry is a candle! It detects background radiation!

 

[Talentless]

Talentless

Talentless is a robot! It freezes anything it touches!

 

[Danny]

Cool!

 

[tabs]

tabs is a biro that glows with an eerie green light! It removes stubborn stains and increases your sex appeal.

Oh yeah, I rule.

 

[Klonie Gun]

Klonie Gun is a mousemat that dissolves in water and craves attention.

Now that is REALLY not me...... 👎 🤬

 

[made in holland]

Made in Holland is a fax machine that's monogrammed (up to three letters)!


Sweet.

 

[miata13B]

miata13b is a sandwich-toaster that changes colour to reflect your mood, keeps children amused and is heavier than it looks.

13b is a hi-fi that talks! It doesn't take no for an answer and removes stubborn stains.

GTP is like a normal freezer, but it tells the time.

drunknard is a greetings card that's programmed against harming humans! It has a built-in calculator.

na-na is a screwdriver that wears a waistcoat and tie! It shouts 'WARNING!' at the first sign of danger.

sucks to be you is a toilet seat that's also available in white and weighs anything you put on top of it.

 

[Famine]

Famine is like a normal waffle iron, but it's laced with vodka.

Hell yeah! I'll drink to that!

 

[Solid Lifters]

Oh yeah, baby! 👍

Solid Lifters is a car that doesn't need batteries, works at twice the normal speed and walks on three mechanical legs.

 

[tabs]

Oh yeah, baby! 👍

Solid Lifters is a car that doesn't need batteries, works at twice the normal speed and walks on three mechanical legs.

Dude! I want one of those!

 

[Roo]

Roo is a button-badge that's made entirely of wood! It operates on a quantum level and detects background radiation.

Yay.

Michael Schumacher is an oven that runs on compressed air, doesn't distract you from your work and encrypts all of its data.

Jenson Button is a handgun that comes with a variety of coloured fascias, probably won't work and has a built-in alarm clock.

Hehe...

 

[Chris Hendriks]

Chris Hendriks is a contact lens that displays a slideshow of pictures! It runs on six little wheels and can go from 0 to 60mph in three seconds.

wow, i knew i was fast, but 0-60 in 3 seconds fast?that one shocked even me.

Chris is a jetpack that plays MP3s! It communicates with wireless devices and does away with household drudgery.
now thats a useful tool.

 

[MadHypello]

Teemu

Teemu is like a normal baseball cap, but it explodes when dropped.

Oh my god....

 

[McLaren]

Gaia Online is like a normal games console, but it exists in five dimensions.

Sounds like gaia online.

 

[Victor Vance]

M5Power is a cufflink that hums incessantly, is bigger on the inside than the outside and hangs upside-down from the ceiling.



NightKidsForEver is like a normal housebrick, but it has no sharp edges.

Victor Vance is a toaster that costs less than £20, fetches help in the event of an emergency and dehumidifies the air. LOL I wish

neon_duke is a video recorder that can be taken on holiday! It helps around the home and obeys simple instructions.

Shad0w_Drifter is a bicycle that makes money fast! It communicates via Instant Messenger. Interesting...

SilviaDrifter is like a normal kettle, but it stays sharp forever.

 

[Victor Vance]

Here's some more results using the advanced "Victor Vance Translator for NASCAR junkies"

Greg Biffle is like a regular sandwich, but has an eerie yellow glow on the side
Dave Blaney is an internet program that can automatically load viruses onto your PC!
Jeff Burton is like a regular sheet of paper, but it sometimes crumples itself.
Ward Burton is a fish you can hang on the wall and it will sing southern-accented country songs
Kurt Busch is like a normal boxing target, but always makes halfassed remarks
Ricky Craven is like a one-hit wonder, but with two hits!
Dale Earnhardt Jr. is a photo everyone will want to get their hands on!
Brendan Gaughan is an automatic truck driver, but don't trust it in cars. It also sells engines!
Jeff Gordon is a photo everyone who wants a Dale Earnhardt Jr. will want to tear up!
Robby Gordon is a cell phone that can fight with a Tony Stewart
Bobby Hamilton Jr. is a ten-foot ego in a four-foot andriod
Kevin Harvick is a fish with a yip-yap mouth
Andy Hillenburg is a bumper that moves from side to side and holds up traffic
Dale Jarrett is like a standard delivery truck, but looks like s**t made out with hightning
Jimmie Johnson is a device that makes $10,000 fines from Powerade
Kasey Kahne is a racing game that you can never win, but always finish 2nd
Matt Kenseth is a radio that can also drill screws and light hallways
Terry Labonte is like a normal cereal bowl, but has tiger stripes
Bobby Labonte is like a standard car battery, but glows like a green candle
Sterling Marlin is a beer can that can speak southern gibberish
Mark Martin is a pill bottle that can also turn into a bottle of motor oil
Jeremy Mayfield is like a regular shaver, but gives buzzcuts when used on the head!
Jamie McMurray is a bottle of motor oil that can also travel back in time!
Casey Mears is a CD Player, a George Foreman Grille, a Swiffer, and Matchbox toy all-in-one!
Joe Nemechek is a wheel used by the U.S. Army!
Ryan Newman is a cell phone that can 'pole dance'
Kyle Petty is an outdated version of a bright star
Scott Riggs is a tool that no matter how good it is, nobody will notice it.
Ricky Rudd is an engine part that follows the golden rule
Elliott Sadler is a piece of candy that doubles as a cowboy hat!
Ken Schrader is blueberry pudding that can drive dirt cars
Jimmy Spencer is a racing game that doubles as a boxing game
Tony Stewart is a drill that can also hammer bumpers
Brian Vickers is a cheap mortgage that can't buy alchohol
Rusty Wallace is a beer that never gets old
Michael Waltrip is a cardboard cutout that says tasteless humorous remarks

 

[VIPFREAK]

bored eh?

 

[Victor Vance]

Totally

 

[boombexus]

boombexus is a bedside table! It tells you when it's ready!

Yep, I'll definately let you know when I'm ready in the bedroom.

 

[rollazn]

Rollazn is like a normal security camera, but it catches fire very easily.

Harold is a spanner that smells a bit funny and kills fleas.

Chia is a blender that can read warchalking symbols and probably won't work.

Honda is a car that sorts your mail, communicates with other copies of itself and won't make a hole in your wallet.

 

[Kelly]

lotus350 is a hair gel that glows at night, freezes anything it touches and cleans itself.

kelly is a belt buckle! It is laced with vodka!


Well, that just about sums me up

 

[Quick_Nick]

Quick_Nick is a shoe that uses human blood for fuel! It shreds documents.

 

[Taurine]

Andrew is a CD-rom that hums incessantly, follows a target of your choice and produces 240v of electricity.
Taurine is a fridge magnet that hums incessantly! It can pick locks.
Hoon is a digital camera that disposes of kitchen waste! It doesn't need batteries.
Escort is a freezer that comes with a variety of coloured fascias, will not work outside of the UK and flashes at intervals.

Baaahahahahah...

 

[Revheadnz]

Revheadnz is a hi-fi! It contains a tinier version of itself!
Philip is a beermat! It squirts clouds of black ink!

 

[TheWizard]

TheWizard is like a normal glass bead, but it can play Mornington Crescent.

On the other hand...

The Wizard is an earring! It produces pure oxygen!

WTF?!

The Wizard.