If you were the first person to step foot on Mars, what would your first words be?

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Jimlaad43

Jimlaad43

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"One Small step for (a) man, One Giant leap for Mankind" is the iconic line spoken by Neil Armstrong when he took Humanity's first step on the Moon.

We still haven't got a Human to another planet, and with Mars the "easiest" planet to send Humans to, it's the aim.

Supposing you were the person who makes that first step and broadcast, what phrase do you utter to go down in the annuls of history?

Funny answers are just as welcome as real answers.
 
A string of irredeemable profanities, just to make life for future generations of history teachers as awkward as possible.
 
“Aurora Borealis, at this place, at this time?”

Or “This world shall henceforth be known as Shemland, as I am it’s conquerer and rightful owner!”

Or “Elon, you prick! Where’s the dancing girls you promised?!”
 
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"Sailors fighting in the dance hall. Oh, man, look at those cavemen go; it's the freakiest show.

Take a look at the lawman, beating up the wrong guy. Oh, man, wonder if he'll ever know he's in the bestselling show.

Is there life on Mars?"
 
TexRex
"Sailors fighting in the dance hall. Oh, man, look at those cavemen go; it's the freakiest show.

Take a look at the lawman, beating up the wrong guy. Oh, man, wonder if he'll ever know he's in the bestselling show.

Is there life on Mars?"
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That was my first thought…
 
TexRex
"Sailors fighting in the dance hall. Oh, man, look at those cavemen go; it's the freakiest show.

Take a look at the lawman, beating up the wrong guy. Oh, man, wonder if he'll ever know he's in the bestselling show.

Is there life on Mars?"
Click to expand...
Well, I'd be there in this scenario... so, no.
 
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"This place looks so nice. Where do I do the first deuce and forever taint it's reputation as "priceless"? Like a disease, humanity spreads far and wide, but I don't mind"
 
Can you hear me now?
 
It’s one small step for man, one gia...trips on a rock causing the space helmet to break making me also the first human to die on Mars.
 
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"One small step for me... one YUUUGEEEE leap for white, straight, NON-Vegan, able-bodied, male MAN kind ******... BOOOOMMMM, YEAAAAH, *******! Where's my sponsorship deals mother *********??! Any one wanna know whose shirts I wear???...

... hello ...

... ground control ... ?

... ground control, this is Major Chaddy McDouche Face, can you hear me?"
 
"Wait, why did you eject me? I'm not the Impostor, it was Red! I saw him vent, he's Sus!"
 
I think we can end the tread after Famine's reply lol
 
"I'm so honoured to be the first person to step foot on Venus no Mercury NO MARS MARS MARS sorry I fluffed my lines ah crap."

Or

"I claim this planet for the Bri'ish Empire. God Save the Queen!"
 
-stepping down from the command module-
You know, sometimes I wish I did a little more with my life instead of hanging out in front of places selling weed and ****.
-reaching for my scientific instruments-
Yeah. Like, be the first mother****er to see a new galaxy, or find a new alien lifeform... and **** it.
-placing mars rocks in a large baggie-
And people'd be like, "There he goes. Homeboy ****ed a Martian once."
 
Stare off to the right and say "line" to fuel the fire that it's all some sound stage in Nevada.
 
All these comments assume someone is listening.

If I’d just arrived and was off coms, I’d probably be eyeing the best place to build an outhouse.
 
I wouldn't be able to step foot on Mars because I can't stand, let alone walk.
 
Well, my first name rhymes with the name of the planet so "Hi folks, this is Lars from Mars'. :P
 
I'd probably just quote Matt Damon from the movie, The Martian. "I'm going to have to science the s*** out of this".
 
"Where are all the fine ass marshin honeys at?"
 
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