Jokes!!

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There is this science class and the teacher is teaching about protons, electrons, et cetera. So the teacher goes on, explaining about the charges of each one and the mass. out of nowhere a kdi raises his hand and says, "wait a minute, protons have mass?"

"yes, they do."

"Heck, I didn't know they were Catholic."

For those who didn't get it:
Get it? mass? catholic? sunday mass?
 
masterrawad
There is this science class and the teacher is teaching about protons, electrons, et cetera. So the teacher goes on, explaining about the charges of each one and the mass. out of nowhere a kdi raises his hand and says, "wait a minute, protons have mass?"

"yes, they do."

"Heck, I didn't know they were Catholic."

For those who didn't get it:
Get it? mass? catholic? sunday mass?
Click to expand...

Ba Dum tish!
 
Letter to the Men's Helpline:

Hi Andy, I really need your advice on a serious problem: I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs: if the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up; she goes out with the girls a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home but I usually fall asleep. Anyway last night about midnight I hid in the shed behind the boat. When she came home she got out of someone's car, buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment, crouched behind the boat, that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard engine mounting bracket. Is that something I can weld or do I need to replace it?
 
Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says "I'll have H₂O please"

The second one says "I'll have H₂O too please"

The second one dies.


For those who don't get it:
H₂O₂ is the chemical symbol for Hydrogen Peroxide, a form of bleach

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wanna hear a joke about Sodium?

Na


Wanna hear a joke about Potassium?

K
 
"The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks."

"And did he?"

"Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill."
 
Me: Hey, do you want to know how the Energizer Bunny got arrested?
My Friend: How?
Me: He was charged with battery. :)
 
Emptyone
Neutron walks into a bar, asks for a drink and puts some money on the counter. The barman waves his offer away and says "for you sir, no charge".

Ah, science jokes.
Click to expand...

Grab your coat.

Seismica
Knock knock

Who's there?

Indian

Indian who?

Indian Spice

Cumin.
Click to expand...

The coat rack is almost empty, you're next.
spin.gif
 
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Found something when I was researching on nihilism just now but not sure where to post so,

*After you have clicked on link*
"It exists! Its a legit website!" :dopey:
 
I was in the pub on Saturday night. I noticed two large girls by the bar.
They both had strong accents so I said "Hi, are you two girls from Scotland?"
One of them chirped "It's WALES you idiot !"
So I immediately apologized, and said "Sorry, are you two whales from Scotland?"

That's the last thing I remember
 
A computer is like a room. Open windows and bugs fly in.

Or

A computer is like air conditioning. Open windows and it stops working.
 
I went to the doctor and said "I've broken my arm in 4 places". The doctor replied "well don't go to those places then".
 
The England team visited an orphanage in Poland today.

"It's heartbreaking to see their sad little* faces with no hope"...



...said Igor, aged 6
 
A boy came home from school, looking furious.

- What's wrong?, his father asked.
- The Maths test! Our teacher said that 90% of the class got an F, even though there's not even that many of us!
 
'My grandfather was a G.I. and in the R.A.F. he was a GIRAF'

'During the war when boardgames where illegal he was put away for being a Yhatzee sympathiser'

-Milton Jones
 
Nicksfix
I was in the pub on Saturday night. I noticed two large girls by the bar.
They both had strong accents so I said "Hi, are you two girls from Scotland?"
One of them chirped "It's WALES you idiot !"
So I immediately apologized, and said "Sorry, are you two whales from Scotland?"

That's the last thing I remember
Click to expand...

:lol:

Love it
 

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