Jose's Diets.

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Smallhorses

Smallhorses

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Jesse.
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Jose.

Fast Show - Jesse's Diets
In much the same way that Jesse would emerge from his wooden shed and announce "This week, I 'ave mostly been eatin'" followed by a random food, notably e.g. Sprouts, Prozac, Acorns, Taramasalata and Roast Chickens......

I'd like to start a new thread entitled Jose's Diets.....

Post beginning with the phrase "This week, I 'ave mostly been eatin'"....followed by Jose's favourite food of the month!

We'll begin this week, following the FA Cup Semi-Final defeat at Old Trafford by Liverpool.....
 
& I'll begin......:lol:

"This week, I 'ave mostly been eatin'
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"
 
"This week, I 'ave mostly been eatin'.... Humble Pie"

I wish. :indiff:
 
This week, I 'ave mostly been eatin' Liver... :crazy:

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"Nice....!"
 
Ex-pat for too long...

"This week I 'ar mostly bin eatin' my ill-considered words".
 
Famine
Ex-pat for too long...
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Hmmm..... true-ish, have tried to get Fast Show DVDs here, but they don't exist, the show was released briefly on BBC America as "Brilliant" but never got released to DVD. :(

I must admit when I created this thread, I was always of the opinion that Jesse said "....I are been eatin'....", but being as I had to nick Jesse's picture from the BBC website, (Clicky the link in Post #1) and it states, that he says "....I 'ave been eatin'....", I figured, they're probably, as producers of the show, right! ;)
Thinking about it, with the broadness of Jesse's South-West English accent, never was quite sure if it's Cornish or Devonshire, "I 'ave" might sound like "I 'arve" with the "ve" part being softer, thus sounding like "ar".... maybe, perhaps?

Anyway, carry on with the Jose's Diet entries...... :cheers:
 
After clinching the 2nd successive Premiership title this weekend, Jose went on to say that, despite this success, and being the highest paid club manager in English football, possibly even Europe, that he's not 100% happy, and has considered leaving!
What do you want? Sympathy, you ungrateful arse?
So, this week's Jose's diet entries please!.....

"This week, I 'ave mostly been eatin' Temazepam!
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"

Well, he's got to have been eating some sort of downer to be depressed after all that!!! :dunce:
 
It's because you meanies are always dissing him mang. :grumpy:
 
A new season has begun, and Jose is bound to have some interesting things to say, :confused: :p especially having lost another trophy game to Liverpool today! Lets see what his post-match diets will be this year! Your entries are much appreciated! :cheers:
 
This week, I 'ave mostly been eatin' Ballacks...
 
Quite unbelievably given his pre-match dismissal of Liverpool as title contenders and branding them "bland, defensive and boring", Jose actually had a complete about-turn and credited them with the win today, without blaming anyone! It's finally happened, DQuaN wished for it a few posts ago, but today it's happened!

"This week, I 'ave mostly been eatin'
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"
 
this week i have mostly been eatin'.......ham salad
 
This week Jose 'ave mostly been angry at Chelski players for losing to 'Boro!
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A quick google search for "foods that make you angry" yielded this article....
Green food coloring makes Hulk angry!
So....

"This week, I 'ave mostly been eatin'
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"

:p :lol: :D
 
Now that there is some fine Googlin' 👍

"This week, I 'ave mostly been eatin' Werther's Original..."

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... for them what suck :dopey:
 
"This week, I 'ave mostly been eatin'
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Coal" :p :lol:

Or should that be "Cole"?!!! :D
 
So they got Cole at last? I think Arsenal got the better deal... anyway, even Cole will have to fight for his place in the team, given their other recent signing...

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BBC Sport Website
"They fought hard but they had a lot of luck. A lot of, lot of luck."
Mourinho gets all Cilla Black on us while describing Villa.
Click to expand...

"This week, I 'ave mostly been eatin'
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"
 
www.fedupwithfoodadditives.info
Annatto (160b)
The Food Intolerance Network has received many complaints about this additive, including headaches in adults and children, headbanging in young children, and irritability, restlessness, inattention and sleep disturbance in children and adults as well as the full range listed above plus arthritis.
Click to expand...

After this weekend's loss of 2 goalkeepers to head injuries, it's obvious what Jose has been eating!

"This week, I 'ave mostly been eatin'
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"
 
"This week I have mostly been eatin' nuts

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and butter"

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BBC Sport Website
"In the first leg we played Barcelona without two goalkeepers and now we may have to play them without two strikers. But it's OK, I take the bus. Only defenders and midfield players and I take the bus."
Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho on his striker crisis ahead of the Barcelona game. We don't know what he's on about either.
Click to expand...

After this gibberish-ese outburst, it's obvious what Jose has been chowing on this week.....

"This week, I 'ave mostly been eatin'
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"
 
Following Jose's pre-match prediction that Manchester "Untied" may "slip-up" in the title race, it's pretty obvious what he's been eating this week. The pitch at Upton Park must have been littered with them!

"This week, I 'ave mostly been eatin'
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"

I think from this photo once he'd got full from eating them, the players had one or two more ideas where they could "hide" the banana-ry evidence! His expression says it all! :lol:

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from BBC Sport website
Mourinho the Deluded One!
Click to expand...

After last night's major hallucinogenic fit in which Jose "watched" his team of Kings and Champions steamroller Liverpool's team of Mice & Maggots, it's quite clear that he's been at the Mescaline! Let's just hope someone can bring him down before he buys his tickets to Athens!!! :lol:

"This week, I 'ave mostly been eatin'
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Peyote!"
 
I was listening to Radio Five Live last night and they were taking text messages on the subject of Jose and the apparent 'arrest' of both him and his dog... apparently he has a terrier call "Gullit" and he feeds it 'Winalot'... one texter responded with 'He feeds it Winge-alot', and others said that he should have called his dog 'Didier Dog-ba' or 'John Terrier'...
 
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