Jose's Diets.

  • Thread starter Thread starter Smallhorses
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Oooh, that's paw!


Nooooooo.....turning into Mars, must resist! :p
 
This week, I 'ave mostly be eatin' Melons! (apparently)

"Sometimes you have beautiful melons but they don't taste very good and some other melons are a bit ugly and when you open them, the taste is fantastic. One thing is youth football, one thing is professional football. The bridge is a difficult one to cross and they have to play with us and train with us to taste the melon. For example Scott Sinclair, the way he played against Arsenal and Manchester United, we know the melon we have.
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This is clearly a man who knows his melons 👍 👍
 
:lol:

His ramblings become more like Cantona by the month!
 
Didn't you know, Jose can speak fluent Cantonese... 💡
 
Chelsea in Champions League boost

from BBC Sport Website
Mourinho moaned: "Being a second seed, you always have a very strong opponent. So when you say, 'What do we have to do to win it?', I think Chelsea need to be first seeds."
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So despite finally getting the seeding he's been moaning incessantly about, when he gets it, it's not good enough! Despite Chelski never having made it past the semi-finals, he want's a first seed spot that's reserved for previous winners and finalists! :censored:wit!

"This week, I 'ave mostly been eatin'
birdseedBig.jpg
Seeds!"
 
I think you miss understand him and the Champions league seeding. Chelsea are first seeds now. The top 8 seeded clubs in the CL are classed as first seeds, everyone else in the competition is a second seed club. Being a first seed club means that you don't go up against another first seed in the opening group stages. Whereas when Chelsea were a second seed, they had to play a first seed team in the group stages.
 
I guess I did get that a little wrong, but.....

It was still another one of Jose's moans about the fact that Chelski should have this God-given right to win everything and be given highest priority in every competition, without them having actually earned that right. :sly:
As I said in the Donkey thread, he seems to believe that purely because Chelsea is Chelsea, they should be awarded 5 trophies (Premiership, FA Cup, Carling Cup, Champions League and Supercup) maybe with Community shield thrown in for good measure, at the beginning of every season, without having to play any games. The rest of the teams can then all play for the runners up spots while Jose makes derogatory remarks about them all! :dunce:
 
I agree that his attitute is lacking, which is a pity because he is a great manager and he is a very smart guy. He just has this idea that he has a devine right to win everything. He's too big headed.

I find it funny how Chelsea are supposedly thinking of taking legal action against the press over Schevzenko's supposed return to Milan, after the dodgy dealing they've had in the past such as signing Obi Mikel after he'd signed for Man U and their supposed to be caught up in this investigation over illegal transfers as well including Drogba's transfer. We'll see what they say over the coming months. At least it's entertaining.
 
Hahahahahahahahaha Verry Funy I Enjoy Your Joke Lol
 
Race Idiot
Basically you hate Jose because he doesn't spout the same cliched crap like every other manager in the prem does and sometimes he comes off as arrogant.

It would be easier if you just posted that every time instead of coming up with an incredibly unfunny pun based on a sketch in an incredibly unfunny sketch show.
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What a surprise, another Chelsea fan that can't take a joke!
Did you listen to the musical? Probably not?
Do I hate Jose? I don't think so, but I do enjoy poking fun at him! :)
I could've started a Gratuitous mispronounciation of the word "Manager" thread with Rafa Benitez's "Manaher" being a front runner, but that would've got old fast! With Jose he's bound to say something silly to keep us entertained on a pretty much monthly basis!

Yeah, we love you too Brett! :p I guess if you don't like it in this thread, don't come back! ;)
Why not show us one of your hilarious posts then? Or should I just join in the craploads of irrelevant nonsense that's spouted daily in the Premium General Chat thread? :sly:
 
Yes I Agree With You You Are Very Funny
 
Race Idiot
Yes I Agree With You You Are Very Funny
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Did you forget the [SARCASM] tags? :p

Actually, given your new user title, location and signature, which've changed since the first post, that you've now edited, and are preserved for posterity here......
ripostcu2.jpg

and the fact that you made these posts at about 2am for you leads me to the following conclusion.....

"This evening, you 'ave mostly been....."
a) Sarcastic.
b) Drunk.
c) Schizophrenic.
d) Hacked by another user.
e) Any combination of the above.
f) All of the above.

;)

(Sincere apologies if c) is actually true. :guilty:)
 
BBC Sport Website
....Mourinho has been outspoken about his side's title rivals in the past but promised this week to me (sic) more "mellow" this season.....
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"This week, I 'ave mostly been eatin'
valium.jpg
"
 
Sadly it's adeus to Jose, after he left Chelski last week. It brings an end to this thread, unless he's hired elsewhere in the Premiership, so he'll leave us, for now, with this dietary entry! :lol:

"This week, I 'ave mostly been eatin'
grants.gif
"
 
Smallhorses
"This week, I 'ave mostly been eatin'
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Eggs.jpg


The style of how we play is very important. But it is omelettes and eggs. No eggs - no omelettes! It depends on the quality of the eggs. In the supermarket you have class one, two or class three eggs and some are more expensive than others and some give you better omelettes. So when the class one eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot go there, you have a problem.
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Well, while you keep on eating stupid things, the professional ones keep on drinking Munich beer:

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Franck Ribery looks a little bit moronic. :cheers:
 
Smallhorses
"This week, I 'ave mostly been eatin'
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800px-Sunday_roast_-_roast_beef_1.jpg


The traditional English 'Sunday Roast', in preparation for a possible job as Engerland manager... I'm sure Jose would be able to cut it, but surely as the highest profile manager in the country, his hairdresser is going to have to take steroids to keep up with the bewildering array of barnets Jose will want to use.. :nervous:
 
BBC Sport Website
Jose Mourinho has ruled himself out of the running to become England coach.

The former Chelsea boss revealed he had held talks with the Football Association following Steve McClaren's dismissal last month.

But in a statement on his agent's website, Mourinho said: "After serious thought, I decided to exclude myself despite it being a fantastic position."
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So having laid down the mantle to the FA to "Come & get me!" (and using some of Famine's Sex Panther cologne!!! :lol:) now that they want him, he's not interested! :dunce:

"This week, I 'ave mostly been tryin' to be eatin'
20073282659_dangling%20carrot.JPG
a carrot wot I been danglin' under the FA's noses!"
 
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