MINI now makes the most annoying car in the world.

[analog]

It would already be extremely annoying if they'd just fitted a monolog single voice but having a dialogue between different parts of the car makes me feel nostalgic for Knightrider ( and that's something I never thought possible ).
If this voice option could be replaced by an uncensored truly cynical and witty Michael Gambon or similar instead of this childish nonsense it might be fun for a short while.

 

[Jim Prower]

Oh, oh my gawd...This is cheesier than Michael Brandon's "Thomas and Friends" narration...and that is pret-ty Cheesy.

This is completely for lulz, but gets old extremely quickly. I might get it, though, if the voices were replaced with Team Fortress 2 characters.

HEAVY: *after starting* "WE MUST MOVE TINY CAR!"
SPY: *try to put into gear* "I think not, ze seatbelt is not on."
ENGINEER: *opened up the taps* "Whooo-eee! That's what it's made for."
DEMOMAN: *with breathalyzer test* "Ah may be drunk, but ye're goin no-where if ye are!"
SCOUT: *low fuel* "Hey, um, need some gasoline, here!"
SOLDIER: *traffic warning* Intelligence warns us of traffic ahead, men, stay alert!
MEDIC: *diagnostics* Ze engine needs an oil change!
SNIPER: *ESP/TCS Off* Roight, then, give 'er the beans!
PYRO: *Hard cornering* *Muffled chuckles*

 

[G.T.Ace]

"Leeets MINIII!"
That doesn't even make sense, does it?

Holy cow, who would actually want something like this?

 

[Apok]

Oh my god that IS horrible!
Make it go away.

 

[Danny]

That is by far the most hilarious, annoying thing in the world. Oh dear.

 

[Azure Flare]

SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT THE **** UP! That is my reaction to this. I now require a crane and a very high place to drop this thing.

 

[Bram Turismo]

But I wonder what it would say if the engine blows up.

 

[Gil]

Please tell me that's an April Fool's Joke.
Cause I'd be under the dash in a heartbeat to pull that fuse.
Cause, well...damn!
That is asshattery at it's finest.

 

[Jim Prower]

I'm sure you can turn it off...it's just...good lord, it's the cheesiest feature in any car i've ever seen. It's like you're caught in a living ad after you've bought it...

I'm gonna guess Clarkson's gonna get shoved in the seat if the producers of TG decide to put this version on the show...

 

[Joey D]

Yes, you can turn it off. It's very easy to turn it off actually.

 

[Bram Turismo]

Yes, you can turn it off. It's very easy to turn it off actually.

Smashing your head on the steering wheel?

I'd wonder what happen if you put James May in this car with a Romanian version of the Control system

For those not getting it: (1:25 in)

 

[MatskiMonk]

Faaaaar less annoying the Sat-nav!.. I can imagine that this might be paving the way for less persistant systems, that do actually give meaningful voice feedback. I can also imagine that a system similar to this could be offered in future with 'downloadable themes' .... Imagine Michael Palin and John Cleese, or Rowan Atkinson and Tony Robinson!.. or the Mini Camden "four Yorkshireman" edition!

Also far better than having to listen to Chris Moyles or Scott Mills.

 

[TorqueHappenS08]

....So, what if i'm about to wreck?

"Alright chaps, Brace for impact!"

 

[Danoff]

That sucks... a lot. It could be a tooooooon better though. I like the main voice that they got for the car (the "coach" voice), but I could do without the other subsystems. Just imagine that woman's accent going through a better script:

*turn the ignition* "Hello again. You certainly know how to turn me on."
*put it in reverse* "Easy easy, slooowly... I don't normally go this way"
*put it in drive* "aaah, that's the spot"
*punch the gas* "oh yea, drive me. comeon, push it!"
*WOT* "YES!! YES!!!"

Might get jealous if you let your friends drive her though.

 

[Omnis]

I wish there was a version to put on while you were away from the car. If someone dings you, the car shouts, "YOU PILLOCK!" or some other kind of british insult.

 

[Gil]

That sucks... a lot. It could be a tooooooon better though. I like the main voice that they got for the car (the "coach" voice), but I could do without the other subsystems. Just imagine that woman's accent going through a better script:

*turn the ignition* "Hello again. You certainly know how to turn me on."
*put it in reverse* "Easy easy, slooowly... I don't normally go this way"
*put it in drive* "aaah, that's the spot"
*punch the gas* "oh yea, drive me. comeon, push it!"
*WOT* "YES!! YES!!!"

Might get jealous if you let your friends drive her though.

Wow D!
Just...Wow. I'm both impressed and just a little scared of her meeting Herbie.

Maybe she already has and that's where the Mine Coupe came from. HMMMM?

 

[harrytuttle]

That's horrible. Yet at the same time it so completely defines the view that BMW has of the typical Mini driver: a child in his first pushcar. If the image of a Mini wasn't that of a toy before, it certainly is now. I can only imagine what would have happened if they tried this with the Mini GP.

 

[Irons]

"Let's Mini"?

Honestly, that sounds pretty freakin' cheesy. And I don't think that Minis are going to join the ranks of nouns used as verbs. (Like Xerox, or TiVo)

The funny part was when the voice said "Careful, the road MIGHT be slippery..."
I don't think that would be too helpful in Minnesota.

Overall, the voice would probably entertain your kids. That would make me rip my hair out listening to that. Good thing you can turn it off though.