Oh, that changes it a bit. The only reason I assumed you were young was because girls of that age tend to do stupid stuff like that & mature out of it, knowing what they want. But, I suppose not every girl does.
I understand you, though. My ex. broke up with me, never stating reasons why, except, "It's not you, it's me", which of course to us men means, yeah, it's us. And in turn, I blamed myself for the way the relationship turned out. Even talking to friends who tell me I did nothing wrong, I still feel resentment towards her. But, like you, I can't hate her, though my reasons are different because I haven't been there.
To this day, we're still so close & every so often, I want to rekindle & try again. But, our break up coupled with other issues last year in turn, made part of my personality more bitter & cold towards people so that I would never walk into the situations I did before. Thus, that part of me keeps me from wanting to date her again because I won't survive the depression again.
Wow, sorry, just went completely off topic there. But, what I wanted to get at is that you're right about our emotions because even though my emotions have made me a person who doesn't let people in anymore or keep me from being her should to cry on, they also make me want to do just that. Thus, as you say, a hypocrite.