The General Relationship Thread

[W3H5]

I'm sorry man that you have to go through this

It's really no big deal. I'll be home in a few months and the 7 hour time difference will be 0. Sometimes it's just the way things are that a couple have to be apart for a while for whatever reason.

The way I see it is that I'm still a free man, not imprisoned and restricted. Right now, if I really needed to I could jump on a plane and be there tomorrow so it's not the end of the world or the end of a relationship. If it was a new relationship it could be hard but we're used to living in different countries for a while because of work and other stuff anyway, we've dealt with it for years and it's never caused any real problems other than the obvious one.

 

[phillgt2002]

Ooh.... what happened this time? Plans fell through again?

Yeah, she just got a boyfriend.

That's partly why she cancelled. I'm cool with it, but she just led me in for a bit, which is something I don't appreciate at all.

I would say other things, but it's best mentioned in a PM since I don't think it's something I want to post here.

It's just an opinion about something I found out about and something that I was told.

 

[GTboyz]

Does it involve cuss words ?

This is the reason i'm not in the mood for finding girls right now. Nowadays most of them just like to led people in.

 

[CinnamonOD]

Yeah, she just got a boyfriend.

That's partly why she cancelled. I'm cool with it, but she just led me in for a bit, which is something I don't appreciate at all.

I would say other things, but it's best mentioned in a PM since I don't think it's something I want to post here.

It's just an opinion about something I found out about and something that I was told.

It's actually tough when you find out you were led in by someone. But there's a difference between the other person being nice, talkative, outgoing, etc. to you and being flirty, throwing in some quirky sexual (in the affective way) references to conversations (Talking about past relationships does not count most of the time), I actually learnt it the hard way, but that was years ago and I could move on.

Maybe she just didn't like you as any more than a friend and that's it, you're still friends and you can meet other women.
Not the end of the world.

 

[phillgt2002]

Maybe she just didn't like you as any more than a friend and that's it, you're still friends and you can meet other women.
Not the end of the world.

Doesn't really matter to me.

When she told me, I didn't think much about it.

She knew I started to like her, but she had already moved on. I didn't pay much attention to her advances, and I said things that were slightly uncalled for to her.

That said, I can be friends with her.

Does it involve cuss words ?

This is the reason i'm not in the mood for finding girls right now. Nowadays most of them just like to led people in.

No, not at all.

It's just something a friend told me about her relationship. It could be anecdotal, but it isn't something that I really want to mention.

It's not really all that big of a deal, but I'll send a PM.

 

[V0RT3X]

I got to close with her again today. Which is very nice as it has been a rarity since she got moved into a room. We exchanged a few smiles and pleasantries, but she seems like she has been a little bit more shy lately. It's probably nothing though. Usually I have to initiate the conversations, but she initiated one today about how she heard about my broom struggles. As a janitor, I of course have my special broom that I keep in one of the closets, but someone keeps stealing it, so I have had to put a label with my name on it, and hide it as well. She seemed to find it very amusing and funny, once again creating another good interaction with her. That's one of the reasons I like her. If I'm having a really crap day, and I feel terrible/angry, one good interaction or even seeing her smile turns a bad day into a good one.

I feel like I have been putting her on a pedestal quite often, but when it comes to logic, I do see that she is definitely not perfect. However, those imperfections kind of make me like her more, rather weirdly. Maybe it's because it brings her down to my level or something, I'm not really sure. I know I need to ask her out, I know I do. but I just don't really know how I should do it.

 

[GTboyz]

Sometimes imperfections are what made a girl more interesting. I know what you mean.

 

[V0RT3X]

Kind of a crumby day for me. I was tired and irritated for a decent portion of the day for some reason. As a result I had zero confidence and barely talked to her, which is a shame since it's Tuesday, the day I see her the most. Maybe it's just my tired, irritated mind, but I'm having second thoughts (again). I kind of feel like she might be too much for me. She's beautiful, a few years older, we don't seem to have much in common and I don't have a lot of confidence when talking to her. Maybe I need to date someone a little more my speed. I don't really know anymore.

 

[phillgt2002]

You know, there's the satisfaction from seeing something sizzle, pop and be over with.

I think it's over with. She offered me a ticket to a band called The National. I failed to take her up on the offer and disregarded her mentioning it. I find myself not wanting to be bothered.

Kind of a crumby day for me. I was tired and irritated for a decent portion of the day for some reason. As a result I had zero confidence and barely talked to her, which is a shame since it's Tuesday, the day I see her the most. Maybe it's just my tired, irritated mind, but I'm having second thoughts (again). I kind of feel like she might be too much for me. She's beautiful, a few years older, we don't seem to have much in common and I don't have a lot of confidence when talking to her. Maybe I need to date someone a little more my speed. I don't really know anymore.

Dude, do you have her number?

If not, just ask for it during one of your conversations. Ask her out to an activity. If you have any similar interests, ask her out to do something around those interests.

You never know until you try. If I'm around a girl that I want to get to know even more, I just zone out all of the doubts in my mind and play around as if it's impromptu.

 

[V0RT3X]

You know, there's the satisfaction from seeing something sizzle, pop and be over with.

I think it's over with. She offered me a ticket to a band called The National. I failed to take her up on the offer and disregarded her mentioning it. I find myself not wanting to be bothered.

Dude, do you have her number?

If not, just ask for it during one of your conversations. Ask her out to an activity. If you have any similar interests, ask her out to do something around those interests.

You never know until you try. If I'm around a girl that I want to get to know even more, I just zone out all of the doubts in my mind and play around as if it's impromptu.

Yeah, I definitely need to do this. I've been putting so much pressure on myself (I know I say it a lot but it's still true) to do something that my mind seizes or something.

Recently I've been getting an inferiority complex about her, because she is so beautiful and I've never dated nor have I even tried to date a girl that looks as good as her. Maybe it's just media messing with my mind and trying to say that she won't like me because she is "out of my league" but I don't think she is that shallow. I'm pretty sure she has some feelings for me, as my over analyzation seemed to uncover. I haven't dated a girl in a long time and now that I am no longer in high school, and have a car of course, things are different so I feel like I am heading into unfamiliar territory, which might explain my fears.

 

[GTboyz]

So that's it. I've been chatting with this girl, eventually meeting her to for the first time by watching a movie after a few weeks knowing her. She said it was a bit awkward but she is very glad that i came all the way to the shopping mall near her to watch a movie.

The next day and days after, she started to distance herself, very slow replies and then she said she was busy. Kept going on for 2 weeks with the extremely slow replies until i had enough. Today she just replied my text from yesterday (almost 24 hours) while saying good morning but i'm just gonna stop here and not text her again. Guess she isn't that interested anyway so i'm not gonna force this.

Weird though, she said she hates being lied to but her attitude just then feels like she's lying.

Maybe i'm just not ready for this kind of things.

 

[Hollow]

^Sounds like she's trying to avoid the part where she tells you she's not that interested upfront, so she's doing the super slow replies and not initiating conversation, hoping you'd loose interest.

You're doing the right thing by not forcing this.

 

[GTboyz]

Should have done that earlier so i didn't look like a dumbass. Dammit.

 

[V0RT3X]

Like I said before she can turn a bad day into a good one, however having the power to alter someones mood is a double edged sword as she can also make my day much worse. She seems to be ignoring me somewhat now. I realize that we haven't talked much this week, but that's just because we have both been busy. I think she thinks that I am not interested and is no longer wasting her time getting my attention. Next chance I get I'll make a move of some sort (he lied) as I don't have anything to lose at this point. Plus I think there are a couple of other girls at work that might like me, so it's not the end of the world or anything.

 

[phillgt2002]

Yeah, well tread lightly.

 

[V0RT3X]

It's not like the next second I see her I ask her out or anything, I just plan on regaining her attention for the time being.

 

[phillgt2002]

It's not like the next second I see her I ask her out or anything, I just plan on regaining her attention for the time being.

Don't pay any attention to any of that. Ask her out in a reasonable amount of time. You're not going to find out that she's interested if you don't ask for her number or ask her out. What bit me in the ass was being too slow to act to the advances that the girl that liked me was trying.

Also, do you have a clue if she's single? If not, doing what I said would probably give you an answer to that as well.

Above all, find out if she's on the same page as you, especially with the other girls you think like you. The worst thing you can do is be persistent when she's definitely not interested. If you find anything out, just cut it loose. It's not worth pursuing something that has a dead end coming up soon. (All dating is a means to an end, though.)

 

[GTboyz]

Girls, women, they are hard to read.

Sigh...

 

[V0RT3X]

Don't pay any attention to any of that. Ask her out in a reasonable amount of time. You're not going to find out that she's interested if you don't ask for her number or ask her out. What bit me in the ass was being too slow to act to the advances that the girl that liked me was trying.

Also, do you have a clue if she's single? If not, doing what I said would probably give you an answer to that as well.

Above all, find out if she's on the same page as you, especially with the other girls you think like you. The worst thing you can do is be persistent when she's definitely not interested. If you find anything out, just cut it loose. It's not worth pursuing something that has a dead end coming up soon. (All dating is a means to an end, though.)

Unless she got a boyfriend in the past couple of days, she's single. Like I said, I'll be doing what I did before and just talk to her more to "re-break the ice" if you will, because as I said before, she's like me and doesn't like initiating conversations, but once a conversation/interaction has been initiated, it's no problem. I'm just not going to let any opportunities slip away like I have in the past.

 

[V0RT3X]

Yeah, I'd wait on it for a little while and like @Team THRT Drift said, don't exclusively focus on her for the time being. If she comes around, great, but if she doesn't you won't be hung up and you'll find someone new.

As I am basically in the exact same situation as the person I gave this advice to, I'm going to take it myself. I'll still try to talk to her when I can, but I'm not going to focus only on her anymore. If she is still acting like she has been this week over the next week or two, it might confirm that she liked me and is no longer trying to get my attention, and I might make a move of some sort then, but for now I'm going to be talking to some other girls for the most part.

I figured out why I am hesitant and why I am starting to lose interest in her. Of course, I put it in car terms, because that's the only language we understand. Dating her would be like driving in Formula One. F1 is of course the pinnacle of motorsport and is every drivers ultimate goal. (She is very beautiful, intelligent, kind and dating someone like her is the dream of many.) The cars are not easy to drive, and can catch out even some more experienced drivers. (I'm always nervous around her and it can be hard for me to talk to her sometimes, as she is like myself and isn't an extremely easy person to talk to. I feel like I would not be able to handle some situations well or not know to deal with her if things started to go a bit wrong if we were dating.) Many drivers start out in lower leagues like formula Renault or GP2 (I feel like I need someone who is easier to talk to and perhaps has more in common with myself. Someone that I am very comfortable around, as lets be honest, I don't have a lot of experience, or confidence for that matter.)

I think I need to get into a very casual relationship, not necessarily a "fling" per say, but something that isn't very serious, specifically something I don't intend on completing, which isn't like me at all, but I think it's a good idea, just to get some more experience before I "dive into the deep end by entering Formula One before I am experienced enough."

 

[phillgt2002]

Dating is what you make of it, but some like to make it complicated. It doesn't have to be complicated at all.

Approach it like with an empty mind with no pre-existing expectations other than getting to know the other person a little more intimately. What you've said about getting into a casual relationship is definitely a quality thought, and it is a wise one. Just test the waters, see about the girls that you're interested in are interested in themselves.

If you get to the point of asking any of the girls out, ask them if they'd like to do something under the intention of just getting to know each other better.

Also, answer this question. How do you feel about yourself? Things pertaining looks, personality, etc. It's critical for the thoughts that you're having.

-----------------

Meanwhile, through charismatic stupidity, I've been hitting on this girl unintentionally. She's pretty ****ing hot. We'll see about that.

Also, my friend is getting me into hot water blurting out things that I think about some girls, but it's funny seeing the responses. The girl I've been incidentally hitting on felt flattered when my friend mentioned something that I said about her.

He said something to the girl that just got a boyfriend.. It was audacious for him to say it, especially knowing the situation.. I just hope she didn't hear it.

Hmm, wondering if I should approach the girl at my local neighborhood Walgreens. She's been chatting me up every time I walk in.

Just gonna get her number when the time is right.

 

[Bram Turismo]

Going to quote myself from the Infield:

I need some advice, or tips, or help, or whatever:

I've been in touch with someone as of lately. I'm not sure how to describe her, as it seems she has a lot going on in her life. She suffers periodically from eating disorders, and she has been living on her own since she was 19. According to her, she does not receive any support from her family as expressing feelings and emotions is taboo in her family. Or so she claims.

We've been in touch pretty much every day since a month, and past Saturday we finally agreed to meet each other. We were both extremely nervous and stressed. In this regard I felt we share the same personality: Reserved, extremely shy and cautious. I tried to act more loosened up than I actually was to make her feel more comfortable.

At the end of the evening I wasn't sure what I felt. On one hand I felt we were both so tense and nervous that the evening didn't go all that smooth. On the other hand I felt I met a beautiful girl who I dearly wish to get to know better, and spend time together with.

The day after she spent with her family for Easter, and I haven't heard anything from her since. I asked if she had a good time with her family, to which she replied she didn't feel like talking about. Ever since then I don't know what to do, how to react, or how to behave. Knowing her personal situation, I want to give her the room she needs, but I also want to make sure she knows I really would like to see her again.

I pretty much have no idea where I stand now, or what to make out of this situation. I'm dearly hoping that if she hasn't the same interest in me, she would let me know. But I feel she kind of shuts me out, no matter how much I try to make clear I wish to help her.

The thing I can't deal with is the not knowing, as I've said a few months ago with someone else. Yes is good, No I accept, but the not knowing just eats away at me.

I would greatly appreciate if anyone has any tips, or has any experience with this kind of situation. The paranoid part of me is thinking she is just ignoring me, and having a drink with a different bloke. But I feel 100% that is not the person I met on Saturday.

Maybe I just think things through too much, and something happened with her family which she struggles to cope with right now.

 

[CinnamonOD]

Eating disorders are yellow flags in my book, you should proceed with caution.

You should just talk to her about other things to try to keep her mind somewhere else, like continuing the last conversation you had before talking about what you did on easter, what you did the day you went out, or invite her again, use an excuse like "Hey, I think last time didn't go that well so how about we try again?"

 

[V0RT3X]

Eating disorders are yellow flags in my book, you should proceed with caution.

You should just talk to her about other things to try to keep her mind somewhere else, like continuing the last conversation you had before talking about what you did on easter, what you did the day you went out, or invite her again, use an excuse like "Hey, I think last time didn't go that well so how about we try again?"

Definitely solid advice. If you haven't found out already, ask her about her interests, and try to show interest in them. Talking about or doing something she is passionate about should make her feel more open, not to mention that it is quite simply something to talk about. Not very many people I know of don't like to talk about things they are passionate about.

 

[phillgt2002]

Going to quote myself from the Infield:

So, I'm taking away from this that you've met online? I'm only mentioning because you said you both agreed to meet up.

Disregard if I'm wrong. Anyways, she's probably going through things currently, especially considering she has probably had problems with her family.

Tell her that you'd like to "meet up sometime again."

Also, knowing her situations, and how long you've been talking, do not try to pry feelings and information out of her. It's going to make her uncomfortable.

I suggest you send her a message about meeting up again. If she doesn't respond, move on.

 

[Team THRT Drift]

Spoiler: I found myself a keeper!

So I found a Unicorn. A girl that is willing to put up with my car BS because well... she's a car girl.

I didn't want to post anything until I knew it was going to get serious and it has! Been going strong for nearly four months now. Met her and hooked up near the end of November.

Backstory:

I don't have a season parking pass at my Uni so everyday I pay the meter maid. I found the only parking lot on campus that is 10 dollars until 7 AM the next morning but it's a bit far. Everywhere else is $15.

So any day that I've paid $10 I make sure to pass my parking pass on to a fellow student, or whoever is going to park at this lot. No matter how 🤬 my day has been, I try to pass it on. *sometimes no one is there to give it to*

On this day, I had my last lab session and was having a pretty crappy day; finals were coming up, some friends turned out to be leeches, I was stressing over everything... Life was just slowly grinding to a halt for me. I'm exhausted, dragging my feet to my car. I hear tires rolling behind me followed by a quick horn.

I turned around, and I had a pretty angry look at the time. I mean, you're alone, depressed, just thinking about your next steps in life in what felt like a pretty empty lot, and suddenly you're startled by a horn.

So I turned around, my heart sank and my jaw dropped. This absolutely stunning brunette steps out of her car, and walks towards me with the cutest smile I had ever seen.

"Hey, sorry, I'm kind of in a hurry. Are you leaving?"

I'm still awestruck, staring like a dunce. Took me a few seconds before I snapped out of it and replied. I was just lost in these mesmerizing electric blue eyes.

I said, "Yeah I'm just about to head out"

She's relieved to hear that as she had spent 30 minutes driving up and down the campus looking for a spot. She apparently saw me walking to the lot and stalked me all the way to my car. I have never been more flattered


So I said "Okay lemme move my car real quick."

and she hits me with "Is that an '05??"

I didn't really believe she just asked me such a question. So I assumed I didn't understand the question, or misheard something so I said "Sorry, didn't catch that."

"Oh your Audi. Is it an '05 or...?"




"Umm... hah... close, it's an '04."


"Oh dang. I thought I had it. I LOVE the A8s. Is this... what trim is this again?"

"It's the A8L..."


"Oooh the extended wheelbase right?? I've never seen one before! I always see the regular A8s but never the longer one. It's the 4.2 in there right?"

I'm smiling like an idiot. I couldn't believe I had found a unicorn. Or rather, a unicorn found me.


As we're talking I realise she owns an orange Audi TT AND IT'S A MANUAL!!!!! I have seen this TT before. Multiple times actually, but the tints didn't help so I never saw the driver. She had completely forgot about her rendezvous with her friends and we were just talking for ages about Audis, other brands, tracks, meet ups, etc. After some time I move my car out of the spot and let her park her car.

I reach back in and get the parking pass. I'm handing it over and she's being courteous saying things like "No it's okay" and all that, but eventually she takes it.

I can't pass this opportunity up, I need more time with this chick. I know if I leave now, I would lose the best thing that's ever happened to me. So I asked how far away her meeting was. Turns out it was all the way on the other side of the campus.

This was my chance. My last shot. So I offered her a ride. She gladly accepted it, and we were on our way. For once in my life, I was driving under the speed limit. Taking my time. I was trying to milk this moment as much as possible.

Please dear God don't let me screw this up!

We continue talking, having a blast. We're really hitting it off. She's digging me as a person, my quirkiness, god-awful puns, etc. She likes me for who I am.

We reach the destination and I am trying to look happy when inside I am just screaming. I still wanted to spend more time with this girl. It was over too soon. I wanted to get lost in her eyes one more time.

Then she says "We should hang out sometime!"

My heart practically beat out of my chest. I was the happiest man at that moment, but I wanted to stay cool. Don't break.. don't break.. act natural, don't act desperate. Time this right, dammit!


So naturally I said, I would LOVE to hang out with you!

"GREAT! How about tomorrow around three???"

"Umm sure.. I-I-I don't have a way of- where do you want to meet?"

"How about the cafeteria by *insert college name* Here's my number. Call me now so I can have yours. Name's Audrey by the way."

We've been together ever since. For once, I am actually happy to be arguing about cars and parts

🤬!!!!!

 

[phillgt2002]

Hmm, something ain't right.

 

[V0RT3X]

Everything okay?

 

[Team THRT Drift]

.

 

[phillgt2002]

Interesting. Can't really post anything right now because my brain isn't capable of functioning properly while under the influence of alcohol.

I'll post something adequate tomorrow.