The Red Dwarf Quiz Thread

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He cooked a three course Indian meal - starting with Shami Kebabs Diablo ("Me own recipe. It's beautiful man - like eating molten lava. I cooked it for Petersen once and he spent three weeks in the MediBay. Three weeks. What a wimp!").

The Cat wouldn't eat it for a number of reasons, but they all boiled down to the fact that the cutlery, crockery and utensils were all medical apparatus - the knives were scalpels ("Something that long ago in its history may have performed a well known Jewish operation?"), the lemon juice was in a syringe for bovine artificial insemination, the fridge was an embryo refridgeration unit and the carafe of wine was a urine bottle. "You think I've got nothing better to do than sit around while you serve chicken chasseur in a stool bucket? This isn't a meal - it's an autopsy!"


This next one is a speech answer - I want the exact response (there's actually two - bonus points for the second one)... :D

"So what is it?"
 
Famine
He cooked a three course Indian meal - starting with Shami Kebabs Diablo ("Me own recipe. It's beautiful man - like eating molten lava. I cooked it for Petersen once and he spent three weeks in the MediBay. Three weeks. What a wimp!").

The Cat wouldn't eat it for a number of reasons, but they all boiled down to the fact that the cutlery, crockery and utensils were all medical apparatus - the knives were scalpels ("Something that long ago in its history may have performed a well known Jewish operation?"), the lemon juice was in a syringe for bovine artificial insemination, the fridge was an embryo refridgeration unit and the carafe of wine was a urine bottle. "You think I've got nothing better to do than sit around while you serve chicken chasseur in a stool bucket? This isn't a meal - it's an autopsy!"


This next one is a speech answer - I want the exact response (there's actually two - bonus points for the second one)... :D

"So what is it?"
Click to expand...


But there's more than 2.... There's like 5 responses (roughly) to that question, before the simple explanation is given.... I'll type out the full conversation later, if noone else has answered it yet...

We are such Dwarf nerds...


;)
 
Cat: "What is it?"

Rimmer: "It's a rent in the space-time continuum."

Cat: "What is it?"

Lister: "The stasis room freezes time, you know, makes time stand still. So whenever it leaks, it must preserve whatever it's leaked into, and it's leaked into this room."

Cat: "What is it?"

Rimmer: "It's a singularity. A point in the universe where the laws of space and time don't apply."

Cat: "What is it?"

Lister: "It's a hole in the past."

Cat: Ohhhh, a magic door! Why didn't you say?"

[Edit] I see now what you mean about having two possible answers... In another episode, they go through the same thing concerning something else the Cat cannot comprehend...


What were the names of Lister, Rimmer, and the Cats' counterparts in the parrallel universe?


;)
 
Ahh, you've got the "Stasis Leak" answer. I was actually looking for the other answer... :D

[facile answer]
Lister, Rimmer and Dog.
[/facile answer]

[not so facile answer]
Deb Lister, Arlene Rimmer and Dog
[/not so facile answer]

So... what's the OTHER response to "So what is it?" :D
 
That and the lying/insulting sequence in Camille ("Sir? You're a smeeeeeeeeee.") are my favourite bits of Red Dwarf. And no matter how much I explain it, no-one else who doesn't watch Red Dwarf finds it funny.
 
In Rimmer's death day video, "A Tribute to Arnold J. Rimmer, BSc, SSc", what does the BSc and SSc stand for?
 
Bronze Swimming Certificate, Silver Swimming Certificate.

How long is Rimmer's sentence, initially, for the manslaughter of the entire crew (barring Lister) of the JMC vessel "The Red Dwarf"?

(Episode hint: "Justice", Season 4)
 
That's close enough, yet not quite right.

I'll post another question, since interest in this one has waned:

"Ah, but it hasn't happened yet, has it? It has, will be have going to have happened, but it hasn't actually happen happened yet. Actually."

What the HELL is Lister talking about?
 
I'm 5400 miles away from the hard drive with all the Dwarf episodes on it to get an accurate number for the years that Rimmer was supposed to serve in Justice world.

However, in answer to the new question, Lister is describing what Rimmer believes to be Lister being blown to pieces in Future Echoes. In actuality its Bexley that he sees. This is Lister's response to Rimmer's suggestion that he can't change the course of the future, since it has already happened. Hactually.

And if you can understand that, well......
 
No, it began with H and is a girl's name which sounds very like Hammer.
Which is why I'm prepared to give it to silviadrifter as he's probably just not used to Lister's dodgy Scouse pronunciations! (it was Hannah)

Your go silviadrifter.....
 
LOL... Yeah, Listers accent can be a bit dodgy to translate sometimes... I should have just put in the DVD, and turned the subtitles on...

Anyway...


In one of the episodes in Series 2, The Cat is jamming out to some form of music ...

What was the name of the episode, and what was The Cat listenning to?...


;)
 
demon of speed
Was it Queeg?
Click to expand...

That's the name of the episode... Between 3 people we might just get the whole answer... :)

Who was reading "Tess of the D'urbervilles" on the CD the Cat was listenning to?...

He whom answers that, gets the next question...


;)
 
In your original post, you asked: what Cat was listening to? Not: who was reading Tess of the D'ubervilles on the cd Cat was listening to? It seems you have changed the question, or am I wrong?

Wasn't the music all twiste? How can a cd be twisted? unless it's a tape. Dun dun duuuuuuunnnnn!!!
 
demon of speed
In your original post, you asked: what Cat was listening to? Not: who was reading Tess of the D'ubervilles on the cd Cat was listening to? It seems you have changed the question, or am I wrong?

Wasn't the music all twiste? How can a cd be twisted? unless it's a tape. Dun dun duuuuuuunnnnn!!!
Click to expand...

Nope, in the show, Lister gives the full name of the CD as " ____ ____ reads Tess of the D'ubervilles"...

Furthermore, CD's can indeed be twisted to sound quite odd... I purposely messed up a disc and ran it through an Akai sampler, and then through a keyboard and came up with some interesting results (with a bit of sound tweaking)... Not to mention, we're talking about Red Dwarf here... When has the show ever been a realistic representation of anything?...

Eh... Forget it... Since no one can remember the full name, you go ahead and take it "Smallhorses"...



;)
 
It was something like Sir John Gielgud reads Tess of the D'urbervilles. (Or some other famous Shakespearian actor.)

Meanwhile, lets try something a little different.... a question from the books rather than the TV series....

Before being allowed to pass through customs, how many cans of Whiskey did Petersen drink before being allowed on board Red Dwarf?
 

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