Ugly Cars - Automotive Room 101

[Rue]

OK, so we all like to salivate over pictures of the most beautiful cars ever made, whether it be the Lamborghini Miura, the Ferrari 365 GTB/4 Daytona or the Porsche 911, these ingenious designs have weathered the test of time and are still as beautiful now as the day they came of the designers board. However, for every Aston Martin DB5 or Ferrari 355, there's an Aston Martin Lagonda or Ferrari 400i lurking in the shadows.

Just what were the designers of these cars thinking? With only imagination being the real limit in these hundred thousand dollar plus cars, just what went wrong?

I know it's all subjective, but let's see what you guys and girls think were the most undeniably ugly cars in history.




I'll start with aformentioned Aston Martin Lagonda 1978-1989 (did it really survive that long?)

A monstrous 17 feet, 4550lbs and 200,000 dollars of pure hideousness, it had the scale and aesthetic beauty of a small aircraft carrier and probably had similar handling characteristics. Not only was it pig-ugly, with so much history and tradition that the name implies, it was a complete travesty and insult to the marque. Since the Lagonda, not until only recently, have Aston Martins begun to be beautiful cars once again.

I fail to see any redeeming feature of this cumbersome behemoth. Therefore, I have no hesitation of casting this beast into the bowels of this thread...

Rust in Peace - Aston Martin Lagonda

 

[Cano]

hahaha, amazingly, that car was mentioned in several books as "dream car". those damn 80s. I like the car in some way, its kinda bizarre and the front just tells me something, but it aint the most aesthetic thing, indeed.
ok, lets add some.
my all time favorite, the most unbearable car for me in the freaking whole planet is ANY kind of Eclipse. Just seeing one makes me want to puke and vomit the car, the car's seats, the owner's face, and punch him till my hands bleed. I just CANT stand that freaking car. Same goes to the hyundai Tiburon. both of them are idiotic.
now, having said that and knowing that most of you know those awful pieces of crap, lets move on:
for 1957, a year pointed to have brought the best design clues of the great american 50s (just remember the Bel Air, the Fairlane and the Olds 88) this thing was HIDEOUS. The 1957 Mercury Turnpike Cruiser, with "dreamcar" features. one of the most horrible designs of the 50s, indeed. I fail to see anything good on this car but the tailights. worse of all, this was Mercury's top of the line model for 57.

From the very same year, Hudson's and Rambler's Efforts were EVEN more ugly that that of Mercury. These cars are just dead in terms of styling by 57 standards, and even in 1954 (they look like 53-4 models) they would have been pretty ugly!
this hudson's Front girlle is an insult:

worse of all, the car had 320 hp.
the Nash ambassador was more discreet, but as ugly. it looked as grampas car, even if it had a cool 270 hp.

the colour pattern is disgusting.
Another one I consider a totally crappy design is the excalibur in all its variations. The limo was specially funny.

another car that can be considered as "yuck" is the Stutz Blackhawk. it has a certain appeal, maybe thanks to its bizarreness, but its UUUUGGGLLYYYY

that 4-door prototype is even worse.
then lets move to those damned british "sports" cars, such as this... frog. The Austin Healey Sprite, complete with non-pop-up eyes, probably the worse-looking headlamps ever made:

and of course with the poor performance to back it up
we can go on and on with these kinda cars... this MGB, for example:

or this MGA, I dont know you, but I find this car incredibly ugly, about the only comparable car that can save from being called ugly is the Austin Healley, and, you know, ALMOST.

I'l stop here for now, but I'll be back for sure. this thread will be a lot of fun, thanks, Chaser!

Cano

 

[JohnBM01]

I made a thread called "Back to the Drawing Board" which kind of talks about some of the stuff like in this thread. I'm not sure if that AM Lagonda was a DeLorean trying to be a Cadillac, or a Cadillac that married... holy crap. But I made my mind up on ugly. Where do you want to start? The latest Sunfire? The latest Cavalier? The Suzuki Wagon RR (or whatever it's called)? The next Opel/Vauxhall Tigra? The Corvette C6 (in ways)?

 

[Rue]

Easy on the WagonR there John, I have one myself

 

[Race Idiot]

Easy on the WagonR there John, I have one myself

Wasdat like to drive then? Aren't they like 3 cylinder turbos?

Ugly cars are, all rovers made from 1980 to present. Maybe excluding the MGF, maybe.

 

[Rue]

Mine's not the turboed RR. It's the regular UK spec one. It's a barrel of laughs to drive though - great fun! If you don't mind people giving you derogatory looks that is, but they'll be driving around town for half an hour longer than you looking for a parking space.

Now, back to the ugliness! What about one of these? Cano's Stutz up there, reminded me of the undeniably awful Bearcat. Man, the designer that penned this baby must have been under the influence of some serious mind-bending hallucinogenics. What a disaster!

Rust in Peace - Stutz Bearcat

 

[Race Idiot]

Mine's not the turboed RR. It's the regular UK spec one. It's a barrel of laughs to drive though - great fun! If you don't mind people giving you derogatory looks that is, but they'll be driving around town for half an hour longer than you looking for a parking space.

This is in HK? Or England?

Kinda wierd though, Europe has it's own set of Kei type cars. You rarely see them here though.

 

[DQuaN]

Ummm.... Cano, I find most of those cars to be quite good looking. Just me I guess.

 

[Rue]

Mine's in England, but the official HK WagonR is the same as the UK one. There are far more imported RR turbos in HK than the regular one though. I like them a lot, especially the new one.

 

[Race Idiot]

Mine's in England, but the official HK WagonR is the same as the UK one. There are far more imported RR turbos in HK than the regular one though. I like them a lot, especially the new one.

The only thing that kinda worrys me about those cars are that they look so flimsy. I mean they make a Citeroen Saxo look solid in a crash test.

Rust in Peace - Stutz Bearcat

Hideous.

 

[Rue]

Better to die smiling!

Here's another car from the Aston Martin ugly stable! OK, it may not be one of the ugliest cars in the world, but did the 1986 Zagato really look like a $200k car? I don't think so. Again, with all Aston Martin's heritage that they could have nodded to it seems to me to be a hugely wasted opportunity.

"Where's my jelly mould? Ah yes, I left it to dry upside down on the bonnet of the Aston."

Rust in Peace - Aston Martin Zagato

 

[Race Idiot]

Wow, they really went err wierd in the 80's.
How about the Vauxhall Chevelle? if that isn't a prime ugly candidate I don't know what is.

 

[Mike Rotch]

I have a video of that Zagato at home. They actually look better in moving pictures then that suggests. The V8 sounds good too.

The Buick Riveira is pretty much a tugboat on wheels IMO.

 

[Rue]

Vauxhall Chevelle: Oh dear god, I remember those things. Yuck!

How about this Mitsuoka that I snapped last Sunday? It's most definatley been smacked with ugly stick. A kind of pastiche of a post war Rolls-Royce. They were ugly 50 years ago, we don't need an updated version thank you very much. Still, these could only sell in Japan - ah, and I guess Hong Kong too.

Rust in Peace - Mistsuoka Galue-II (What a name too!)

 

[Rue]

I have a video of that Zagato at home. They actually look better in moving pictures then that suggests. The V8 sounds good too.

The Buick Riveira is pretty much a tugboat on wheels IMO.

I sincerely hope that the Riviera's proximity to the lake and the contemplating look of that young lady means that she's just thinking about the best way to drive that car into the murky depths!

 

[Gil]

I don't mind you dissin' the Aston Martins, I don't mind you dissin, the Mercury or the Nash. Nashes are/were notoriously fugly.
But regarding the Bugeye Sprite, the MGA and MGB (the Steel bumper MGB) You need your eyes examined. Maybe the MGA's comtemporary the Triumph TR-3 (you'll have to find your own pic) could be considered ugly. The MGA and the MGB thru 1972 are sleek and timeless designs. The Bugeye looks like it's grinning at you. It's only truly bad feature is that it doesn't have an opening trunk. It kinda looks like a Miata that got left in the dryer too long.

 

[Mike Rotch]

I sincerely hope that the Riviera's proximity to the lake and the contemplating look of that young lady means that she's just thinking about the best way to drive that car into the murky depths!

👍

But regarding the Bugeye Sprite, the MGA and MGB (the Steel bumper MGB) You need your eyes examined. Maybe the MGA's comtemporary the Triumph TR-3 (you'll have to find your own pic) could be considered ugly. The MGA and the MGB thru 1972 are sleek and timeless designs. The Bugeye looks like it's grinning at you.

I agree with that. And as for them not being "sportscars", remember the original Mini wasnt considered a "sportscar" either, till it started some major clock cleaning on the international rally scene.

 

[Cano]

I knew that I would be criticized for not liking those thing, but the most I look at them, the most lame I find them. As I said, the only design of that kind that gets saved in my book is the Austin Healey. As for the Buick Riviera, those things can look pretty damn good in custom form, the lines of the car are a little bizarre, I know, but I dont mind them at all. I saw one the other day (RARE! in mexico) and it was pretty beautifull.
The AM Zagato is... well... >_<
lets move on to another cars:
this may go well in there with the eclipse, its incredibly ugly, it looks SO artificial, SO overdone, SO overstyled, all that added to an already ugly body... and those hweels >.<:

ta-daaaa!!!! if the 350Z was ugly as hell, this just breaks the limit of ridiculous and ugly, the Type E, built to homologate the Z for the 500 GT class at the JGTC:

and of course, on a more common note, this may very well be the ugliestest GM design of all time. It's right there with the aztek and the 2004 Cavalier:

another cars that are ugly as sins are the Mercedes A-class:

The 1998 Buick Skylark:

ANY Fiat.
ANY variation of the Smart
ANY Skoda
ANY Suzuki
The DeTomaso Bigua, that was later sold as Qvale I dont know what:

the most incredible thing about this car is that it came from Marcelo Gandini's design desk, the same guy that gave us the diablo and Countach.

well, there goes. I'll add some as they occur to me

Cano

 

[Mike Rotch]

Skylark =

I dont know what the car model/s are but the car used in the TV series "Hunter" sucked. And those stereotypical cop cars from 80's movies (with black 'trunk and hood') where equally, um, inspired?

 

[Rue]

Yes, Cano, the MG is the epitamy of bad taste and has the same over-styled, cheap-feeling design cues that I so despise in modern TVRs. What a shocker!

However, I don't agree with you that 'ANY Suzuki' is ugly (not that I'm biased or anything you'll understand). How about the Copen and it's forbearer the Cappachino? They are lovely looking designs when you take in to account they're tiny size constraints. Oh, and the GSXR/4 concept was/is absolutely mouth-watering in my opinion.

I'll agree with you on that 350Z/Fairlady thing. It's awful! I'm not a great fan of the 350Z/Fairlady as it is, especially after the 300ZX/Fairlady was so drop-dead gorgeous. I have yet to see an attractively bodykitted 350Z/Fairlady either. Please, if someone knows of one then do post a pic.

That Gandinified de Tomaso is a travesty too, but while the early Countachs were a thing of godlike beauty and rawness, I never had a soft spot for the Diablo (the rolling doorstop). In fact I think I may put the Diablo up for my next victim into this thread...

 

[Slick6]

I'll agree with you on that 350Z/Fairlady thing. It's awful! I'm not a great fan of the 350Z/Fairlady as it is, especially after the 300ZX/Fairlady was so drop-dead gorgeous. I have yet to see an attractively bodykitted 350Z/Fairlady either. Please, if someone knows of one then do post a pic.

Paint it a different color and get rid of the stickers. 👍

 

[Rue]

...and don't forget to remove the spoiler, pointless side winglet and Toys 'R' Us front bumper too. Oh, then you have a standard 350Z! As I said, I have yet to see a kitted 350Z that I like. Thanks for trying, but sorry Slick.

If proof was ever needed that the old saying 'things improve with age' is complete bollocks, then here it is. The Lamborghini Diablo SE30, certainly is one ugly duckling and here in it's Jota guise is probably one of the most offensive designs I have ever had the misfortune to lay eyes on.

I remember when it was all the rage for fibreglass fanatics to build shoddily made kit car versions of the old Devil in their garages in attempt to imitate the lines of the classic Italian and snap knicker elastic at 10 yards on the local high street, but with this piece of garish tosh, it looks like the Lambo lads back in Turin reversed the roles and modelled the SE30 on a plastic, chest wig wearing kitcar.

All those slats, scoops and wings (and what possessed them to put the badge there?) did nothing for the already outdated look of the Diablo and adds weight to the fact that Lamborghinis only get worse as models are restyled (think Coutach 25th Anniversary). Still, there's no doubting that the SE30 was saved by it's monstrous acceleration, speed and grunt. Did we really need quite so many Diablo varients? At the end of the day though, thank God for VW!

Rust in Peace - Lamborghini Diablo SE30

 

[Cano]

I'd have a Diablo over any murciélago or Gallardo any day, in fact, the Gallardo was going to be one of my next victims! because it doesmnt get worse than this... the angles are ugly, the light are ugly, the front air dams are ugly and overdone, in general the air intakes on the whole car are ugly, the rear is awful, and even the wheels are freaking ugly!!! is the worse car Lambo has ever designed!! even worse than the Marzal!!

the murciélago is nice, but not quite like =/

 

[Rue]

Yes, I agree that the modern Lambos are pretty dire from a visual perpspective and I'm all for the Gallardo being in here. What I meant by 'Thank God for VW', was that if they hadn't come along perhaps Lamborghini would be making different varients of the Diablo for the rest of time! At least with VW, they have some direction and I hope that they will start delivering some slightly more raw edged cars that are true to Lambos heritage sometime in the future, after they have established a better name for themselves in the build quality department, which is what VW is doing.

And just looking at the Gallardo up there makes me want to go and give the guy who penned it a stern talking to. Horrible!



Now here's a absolute toad of a car that is ugly as hell, but it's essence is in it's ugliness. It just screams 'I don't give a monkey's! Yes, I'm as ugly as a baboon's arse, but what do I care when I'm packing three hundred and fifteen ponies under the bonnet?', and I'm sure it was made to look as ugly as possible for that very reason.

There's no point in even arguing about how it looks though, because with a 0-60 of 5 seconds you're only going to see it's tyre smoke anyway! I want one...NOW!

Rust in Peace - BMW M Coupe

 

[Cano]

I dont want one you are crazy
indeed its odd, but I dont think its "ugly as hell". altough yes, the solution for its body is WAY off.
now, this thing. it is even worse than the Enzo. its a freaking hulk with SO many add ons in its body you just cant believe it. exotic ugliness at its finest:

 

[eliseracer]

I agree on the Maserati. It looks like a drunk day in Italy, and at Maz they were playing pin the tail on the donkey, car design-style.

 

[Ev0]

I don't agree with a couple of the choices made in this thread, especially the 350Z, but here's something we can all agree on.

The Toyota Scion. A car with the styling, aerodynamics, handling, performance, roominess, and overall appeal of a refrigerator.

I'd rather take the fridge, at least it has internet access

For similar automotive atrocities, look under... the Nissan Cube

and who can forget the Honda Element

But two obvious cars have so far been so very unnecissarily spared from this thread... first, the Pontiac Aztek

I thought a wrecked one would be appropriate for the amount of success that waste of metal had in the market (thank god for that...). But as if that was not enough of an assault on our eyes and stomachs, I present to you, the Fiat Multipla...

It speaks for itself. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go flush my eyes out with drain-o to allieviate the pain I have put myself through.

 

[Rue]

I think you've picked a particularly bad picture of the Scion there, EvO. Actually the Scion is quite ugly, but the original Bb is nicer and one of my fave cars. The Nissan Cube's not all that bad either, for me. I think the design is quite clever and fresh. However the Element sucks, the Multipla blows (although it's a fine car!) and the Aztek is the only car that manages to acheive both - It is criminally bad!

EDIT: Ah! I appear to have overlooked the Maserati in my previous comments. It is, without a doubt, one fo the ugliest cars I have seen. It's so ugly it would turn Medusa to stone!

 

[ACremona22]

What the fu** are you guys smoking? Have you ever seen a Gallardo in person? It definetly is not ugly.

 

[skylineGTR_guy]

I always found the enzo to be way ugly, the front looks like one of those car vacuum cleaners