VANDENAL's Life: Unfolding on GTPlanet

[sicbeing]

Ill also let you know, in highschool I was like the guy that had girls come crying to him, its because they like the attention. After highschool I decided to become what I wanted myself to be. I started acting like I was too good for girls, started acting like a god damn man and taking responsiblity for myself.

Act like a man. I moved up in my job from sandwich maker to district manager in just 4 year, took 2 girls v cards and now I have a small apartment with a dog, cat, car, and a GF.

You have to act like a man, not like a sissy boy "o poor me why dont girls like me?". Girls dont like to date those men, you really do have to mix asshole, cool guy, funny guy, and nice all into one.

EDIT

Oh, and yea, start doing some research and take your life into perspective. You could be living where people dont know that bringing babies into a nation with no food or water is a great idea. Sit there day by day and just die slowly. Or maybe look at the universe and see how small we really are as a species. Girl problems should really feel like nothing after that

 

[Type S Tony]

You have to learn to be ALPHA, theres no better feeling than being a man among men (no homo)

i'm the type of guy that all my mates come to for advice & help, we once went on a 2 week camping trip in high school where everyday there were supposed to be 2 new team leaders selected from the group to lead for that day.

After the 3rd day the class unanimously decided that I will be there leader for the rest of the trip, best camping trip ever, we finished the route 2 days before schedule and got to chill in proper cabins afterwards with ice cream & pop tarts while we waited for the 2nd sissy group to return.

The weird thing about this is I was never popular at school, never played any sport or extra curricular activites like that, i saw that all the jock type guys were failing miserably at leading the group and all the nerdy kids didnt have the guts to speak up. I saw an opportunity, ceased it & won.

Strive to be Alpha, you wont regrett it.

Edit:Always think "What would Tyler Durden do" this guy is the definition of ALPHA

 

[itsbenjibrand]

Cool. So basically I need to take charge of my life, don't get pushed around, have a little humour, and mix in a little of being nice? I can do that.

 

[Philly]

I haven't really been keeping up with this thread, and haven't really read through it all the way, so I don't really know if my situation really helps. Might be worth a shot though.

My first two years of college I was pretty depressed. I didn't really have much in terms of friends I was really glad to have. There were girls, but I didn't really feel like I had a good shot at them. I guess this all comes from me being really shy, which is probably my biggest weakness. That and my feeling lonely meant I had no confidence in myself.

Fortunately, one of my friends at the time introduced me to his group of friends, who were a bunch of girls. I was really able to just be myself around them though. I opened up to them, and didn't have to try at all to have a good time. I think it helped that I was able to be weird and silly with them and they were okay with it. I've always had to suppress that side of me with my 'bro' friends. It all just worked. My grades went up, my confidence went up, everything went up in my life. And now I'm dating one of them.

My first advice would be to find some people who you can hang out with, just be yourself. You will be way happier. And these are people you'll probably just stumble on, so unfortunately I can't say much about how to find people like that. My group just sort of fell into my lap. But I guess that's a quality of true best friends.

Also, girls. I've tried a few things for getting girls and the two successes I've had were just me being able to be myself. Both times, I was with a group and being 100% me, pretty weird and silly but not pretending to be something different. Apparently these girls really liked that. I guess it helped that I was able to be all flirty with them. With one it led me to a best friend and then we took it from there and now we're dating and figuring out if we're doing something long term or not.

So I guess try and be yourself. Chicks dig it. Or something like that.

Hopefully you can find something helpful in all of that, provided I did a decent job of explaining myself.

 

[Legendary Event]

Thanks Max, when I'm done high school I'll probably look at this thread and laugh. I got to lighten up and be myself, let my personality shine and not care what other people think. I need to realize I have a good life. I got rejected by that girl btw, but I don't care, I'm actually happy. It's a sign that I should look for someone else to be with, and know the relationship will last a week or 2 max. I just got to keep my head up, enjoy myself and get noticed by being me, not something I pretended to be. Now that I think about it, Tony is right, my problems are so small. Wah I don't have a girlfriend, that's why there's one night stands. People are dying in Africa, now my problems feel insignificant. I feel better, and thanks to everyone who commented. And Tony, sorry for being such a 🤬. This made me realized that is not all about me. This was the kick in the butt I needed, and I'm thankful for it. 👍 to everyone.

This is... THE KEY 👍

 

[itsbenjibrand]

Everyday I go through this thread and I find even more information. Its amazing how much you guys have helped me out, means alot. Thank you, now I just need to put what you guys said into my routine.

 

[itsbenjibrand]

Just wanted to provide a quick update for you guys. First of all, I don't have a girlfriend. And I have no problem with that, I have bad grades to improve, and that's my focus for the remainder of the year. However saying this, my personality is still the same, and I still talk to the girls about their crap but to an extent. I still like some of them, but after learning more about them I wouldn't be able to stand them, well almost all of them. I'm being patient, having fun and enjoying life. If I end up having a girlfriend in the near future, that would be cool, if not, no big deal, I can wait. I no longer feel as if some other crazy force is controlling my life, I'm doing what I want, and if you don't like it, I don't care.

 

[nk4e]

You need to focus on yourself. I am the same way but lately, I have been trying to change that.

 

[zedextreme8177]

Cool. So basically I need to take charge of my life, don't get pushed around, have a little humour, and mix in a little of being nice? I can do that.

This.

I am about the same age as you, and I managed to pull myself out of a similar situation.

Never let other people shape you up, be who you are, with a mix of nice

Particularly, changing your personality for girls never goes down too well. If you can't stand her, chances are that it won't go down too good in the end You WILL eventually meet a girl who likes you for who you are

And a sense of humour, always keep that in mind, it never fails

 

[Skython]

That's the right way to go mate. Changing for a girl as anyone knows is wrong, if you change, for them, you won't be happy because you can't be yourself anymore. And you'd be lost in a vision you wish to leave. So yeah, pretty much, wait till you meet the one, don't search, and if all goes well, great. If not, still great, means it's numbering down the chances till you find the right one.

And now I have wasted your time

 

[itsbenjibrand]

Just looking back at this thread and thinking to myself, "Wow, I was in pretty rough shape." Life has started to get better for me too. There was a solution I found to my 'despairation'. I basically am just being myself and pushing through everyday with my head up. Ready for whatever is thrown at me, I've gained an appreciation for what I have in life. I still do get stressed, but deal with it accordingly. Same with my depressing thoughts, I push them off to the side or deal with them the best I can. This thread title is changing tomorrow, and I can't wait to do it. Monday is the end of my sophomore year, when that science exam is finished, my summer begins. Look out world, you see the real Vandenal now. I'm not changing anything (except my clothes on a daily basis). Goodnight everybody! Thanks to everyone that has helped me, posted here or even wrote something comical.

 

[itsbenjibrand]

Just wanted to update you guys (and gals). Life recently has went well. My classes are going well and I have a few more friends. I'm smiling as I write this, because I don't have a girlfriend, and quite frankly don't want one. So, again I thank whoever reads this. Criticism, and/or thoughts are appreciated.

 

[TankAss95]

I just thought I had something of value to add to this thread. There's massive pressure among teens nowadays to be the person that everyone wants you to be. For example you have to be popular, good looking, have all the latest clothing or gadgets, athletic, etc. A lot of these things I am/was not and therefore was not accepted by nearly everyone. It took me along time to learn to not be the person whom everyone wants you to be. Be you instead.
Stand up for yourself, learn to be an assertive person, have respect for others, help others in need, do what you want. I feel a lot happier now than what I was.
School grades are helpful, but it's not the end of the world if you don't do well (at least in the UK anyways). If I were you I would have a serious think of what you want to become and what you want to do with your life, then decide how you can do that. Planning your future can be a pointless thing to do but at least you'll be focused instead of "going with the flow".
I'll conclude by saying that you really have to get over disappointment in your life. Life is NOT fair and it is really frustrating to see your enemies succeeding when your going no where. Just try your best and don't look back. "The best kind of revenge is for your enemies to see you succeed".

Hope you found this helpful.

 

[Dennisch]

You need to spent a little less time in the What grinds your gears thread.

 

[TankAss95]

You need to spent a little less time in the What grinds your gears thread.

Who? Me?

 

[Dennisch]

Who? Me?

Is this your thread?

 

[itsbenjibrand]

Hmm... Thanks TankAss95, your comment is entirely correct. I want to be an Accountant, and that's what I'm gunning to be. And Dennisch, your input will be considered, however issues that I deem more important will be addressed first, which there are many. Good day.

 

[TankAss95]

Is this your thread?

I apologise. I was not sure to whom you were referring to as you posted in a fairly quick succession after I posted. In the future it would be helpful if you could quote to whom you are referring to or in this case use usernames as a reference. No worries. 👍

 

[Driving Park]

Wow, how did I miss this thread?

It just cracks me that in Western society depression is an issue, We are better off than most other country's in the whole world yet we get cut & emo about a girl not liking us or not being socially accepted.

That's all true, but does that mean that people here who are depressed aren't allowed to be? Just because VANDENAL's problems weren't/aren't nearly as big as many of the world's population doesn't mean he's not entitled to be depressed about something, and that he should snap out of it immediately. Hormones are quite difficult to control, after all. His brain is still developing, as is everyone around his age (me included). Sure, it's not ideal to be depressed, but he can rant and talk about it to other people if he feels like, and no one should be pulling the "yeah, but in Africa..." line.

There are thousands of people dying every day in Africa, towns, Villages & cities being blown to bits in Afganistan, over population in India forcing people to live in slumb's, Natural disaster being declared everywhere and we as westeners get depressed over trivial crap???

Like I said...

I was once depressed, seriosuly, but i realised what i douche i was being and how bad other people had it and literally snaped out of it & took life by the neck and accepted the challenge to be the best i can be.

You're not a "douche" for being depressed when others have it worse than you. Depression is a human emotion and should be experienced along with all of the others.

Did you know some ridicoulous percentage of the worlds population dont even have regular access to fresh water or medical assitance?? here we are giving some guy cheer up advice on the internet when theres 3 Billion people out there that dont even know what the internet is.

So you're saying he doesn't deserve cheer up advice?

You have good points about perspective, Tony; much of my life has been made very much happier by putting things into perspective. I just don't agree with the "yeah, but in Africa..." line.

take life by the horns & wrestle that b*tch down

Now THAT is good advice. 👍

its really not that bad.

As others have stated, there's no way you can know, even with the thousands of starving children in Africa.

I can't wait until our whole front page is filled with threads about high school kids whining about how tough their lives are. One 'high school sucks' thread would suffice.

Hey man, I loved high school to death. I'm having a fantastic time in college but I already miss high school. Not everyone hates it

Some of us just roll our eyes with the whole high school kid being infatuated with a girl thing because we've all been through it and realize how meaningless high school 'relationships' were.

Chances are you're not going to meet 'the one' in high school anyway. Just be yourself and make a lot of friends and enjoy having almost no responsibility for as long as you can.

Yes, it's uncommon for high school relationships to work out, but it does happen occasionally, so you shouldn't shut yourself off from attempting any relationships just because you're in high school. That's just my opinion, though.

and you're not going to find Mrs. Right at high school.

That's not necessarily a hard fact.

make some good friends (guys or girls you aren't attracted to), spend time with your friends, laugh, and remember to be a kid.

Excellent advice. 👍 Whether you know it or not, high school is really your last hurrah for being a kid. However:

teachers preach that "young adults" bull:censored:

Ugh, that makes me sick...

we're still all just kids, and I have no idea why teenagers want to grow up so damn fast. Sure, I'm excited about the future too, but I don't want to miss the present.

I reveled in every minute of high school, knowing full well that I was living the days I would look back on and yearn to relive. And yet, it still went by far, far too fast.

Sounds like your at an awkward age mate....The teenage years are tough, and getting tougher everyday.
The ammount of pressure on you kids is crazy, to be cool, get laid as early as possible ect.
Everyone trying so hard to be unique but all ending up looking and acting the same.

Type S Tony has a point in that there are people worse off, and yes that is something to consider for sure. But the truth is these people feel bad for US, because we have too much, I know a girl who said they pray for us Westeners!

👍

What I can't understand: people say "Uh, yeah but in Africa..." - you realize that he can't change what's going on there? Or that he's even directly touched by that? He's having a different, no doubt smaller, problem than other people have. But still, it's a problem and resolving it will improve his life.

THANK you. Someone else agrees with me. 👍

I just thought I had something of value to add to this thread. There's massive pressure among teens nowadays to be the person that everyone wants you to be. For example you have to be popular, good looking, have all the latest clothing or gadgets, athletic, etc. A lot of these things I am/was not and therefore was not accepted by nearly everyone. It took me along time to learn to not be the person whom everyone wants you to be. Be you instead.
Stand up for yourself, learn to be an assertive person, have respect for others, help others in need, do what you want. I feel a lot happier now than what I was.

Indeed, everyone expects you to adhere to a certain image nowadays to be popular, and it's all absolute 🤬. I never subscribed to that whole "image" thing, and I would never give up who I am to be somebody else. After all, being "popular" is pretty shallow anyway. And guess what? Other kids respected me for it. I made lots of friends (for me anyway) and always had someone to smile and greet in the hallways, hang out whenever we felt like it, and do all the other crazy things high school friends do. All just for being me. That kind of "popular" seems to be a lot more appealing than the popularity gained by adhering to what others want you to be. Try it, VANDENAL. 👍

Life is NOT fair and it is really frustrating to see your enemies succeeding when your going no where. Just try your best and don't look back. "The best kind of revenge is for your enemies to see you succeed".

👍

 

[itsbenjibrand]

I've changed the thread title to this like 4 times. I really don't know what's happened in the last 2 months, I'm still my awkward caring self. But everything has went so well, its as if I'm getting all the breaks I need. Its why I haven't posted for so long in this thread. I guess listening to a ton of music supresses my ability to even think. I seriously just read through this thread and laughed, I wonder why I even felt like that. I think that after I actually talked to my brother in August, I no longer viewed things so negatively. Grade 11 has been going well, I'm enjoying the roller coaster called life.

 

[uMadson?]

Hmm... Thanks TankAss95, your comment is entirely correct. I want to be an Accountant, and that's what I'm gunning to be. And Dennisch, your input will be considered, however issues that I deem more important will be addressed first, which there are many. Good day.

"Make your passion your profession"

Rancchoddas Shamaldas Chanchad "Rancho", The 3 Idiots

 

[Machate-man]

Indeed, everyone expects you to adhere to a certain image nowadays to be popular, and it's all absolute 🤬. I never subscribed to that whole "image" thing, and I would never give up who I am to be somebody else. After all, being "popular" is pretty shallow anyway. And guess what? Other kids respected me for it. I made lots of friends (for me anyway) and always had someone to smile and greet in the hallways, hang out whenever we felt like it, and do all the other crazy things high school friends do. All just for being me. That kind of "popular" seems to be a lot more appealing than the popularity gained by adhering to what others want you to be. Try it, VANDENAL. 👍

Definately:tup:

The idea of "Popularity" is often present in schools where the majority is affluent or high-middle class, where there is a "certain image" needed to be accepted by others. In a school like mine where (most) students take public transport, "Sag their Jeans", and take the United School District's Free lunch, you are freely accepted because no one likes to fuss over such things. The things they feel are important are wether you're honest in character, or if you're just there to make life harder.

 

[W3H5]

Rock and Roll Bro. Get yourself some self righteous attitude and develop some shameless wit and you're ready to take on the world. A few beers could help too.

Seriously though, I had all kind of issues growing up, as most kids do. Trying to find my place in the world was difficult. In the end it just kind of happened. I think now you're young you won't see how it'll all work but trust me things just find their own way.

After all the turmoil I had as a child I thought I'd never have a normal life. I was wrong. I wouldn't change my life for anything now, it's great. But it didn't always seem like the case.

What I'm saying is don't put too much thought/ worry into these trivial childhood problems because when you mature and become an adult you'll have twice as many problems to deal with but at least then you'll have an established character / personality and will have developed your own way of dealing with things.

Hope that helps / make sense.

:jockstrap:

 

[Keef]

Make sure you keep doing well in high school and try your best not to be lazy. But don't waste your life at it - remember that graduating high school is the most basic of achievements expected of you by society. All the fun stuff associated with it is just there to help a distracted adolescent get through it. It has amazed me how myself and everybody else have changed in the 5 years since high school. Some people did it soon, some people did it late. I've got friends who have graduated college, who are going for advanced degrees, who are already working and making money, and friends who didn't do any of that, and people like myself who just recently figured out where they want to be in life. Everybody does something different, but whatever you do you end up a lot smarter than when you left high school, that's for sure...and then you've got 60+ years of learning left! Oh boy lol.

 

[photonrider]

Guess this thread helped many others who had similar problems but were to shy to come out with them, Alex, because I see many fine and caring responses here. Being young and full of wonder and fear doesn't last long - yes, even though time seems to stand still when you're younger, and tends to speed up maniacally as you get older. You'll find that you will be an adult for the rest of your life. Enough time for that. Enjoy life now and if you have priorities, have them connected with your future.

As for the female companion thing - that falls into place sooner or later. Nature always finds a way. Just don't miss the forest for the trees.

Buddy hugs, and have a great day man!

 

[Pupik]

1. Have fun. Do what you like, and the hell what anyone else thinks. We all do and did dumb things, silly and uncool (especially when we thought we were cool), in the past and present, but don't do anything way too stupid.

2. Walk into a place like you own it, but act like you owe it all to everyone else. Take big strides, but don't step on any toes, unless absolutely necessary. Don't over-think trivial things: Go with the flow. You'd be amazed how much less stress haunts you that way.

3. Life is short. But if you screw it up, it's a very long life. Come to think of it, life isn't really short...it's the longest thing you'll ever have to do.

4. This too, shall pass. Don't get hung up about how ridiculous and petty everything will seem in 3-4 years, we all went though that. Loosen up and have some fun after you've completed your studying.

5. Be with people who appreciate who you are, don't try to be someone you're not. Fakeness wears off after a while, and then what are you left with? Another fake person? People who drift aimlessly from one stupid thing to another? It's okay to not know what you want out of life yet, but by the same token, don't jam your way of doing things down people's throats.

6. Smile, grim and bear it. Thick skin...to an extent, get some. Everyone needs a little rough patches in life to realize what they're really made of. None of it will really make sense until you're older. Motivate yourself, smile whenever you can get away with it, and you'll get a lot out of life than a bunch of "If I only did..." phrases to look back on.

7. Don't worry about getting laid yet. Do you really need an accident throwing a wrench into any sort of plans you'd like for the future? Thought not! There's lots of crazy teenage girls that romanticize about having a baby, but they are just that...crazy.

 

[itsbenjibrand]

1. Have fun. Do what you like, and the hell what anyone else thinks. We all do and did dumb things, silly and uncool (especially when we thought we were cool), in the past and present, but don't do anything way too stupid.

2. Walk into a place like you own it, but act like you owe it all to everyone else. Take big strides, but don't step on any toes, unless absolutely necessary.

3. Life is short. But if you screw it up, it's a very long life. Come to think of it, life isn't really short...it's the longest thing you'll every have to do.

4. This too, shall pass. Don't get hung up about how ridiculous and petty everything will seem in 3-4 years, we all went though that. Loosen up and have some fun after you've completed your studying.

5. Be with people who appreciate who you are, don't try to be someone you're not. Fakeness wears off after a while, and then what are you left with? Another fake person? People who drift from one stupid thing to another? It's okay to not know what you want out of life yet, but by the same token, don't jam your way of doing things down people's throats.

6. Don't over-think trivial things: Go with the flow. You'd be amazed how much less stress haunts you that way.

7. Thick skin...to an extent, get some. Everyone needs a little rough patches to realize what they're really made of. None of it will really make sense until you're older.

8. Don't worry about getting laid yet. Do you really need an accident throwing a wrench into any sort of plans you'd liek for the future? Thought not! There's lots of crazy teenage girls that romanticize about having a baby, but they are just that...crazy.

Thanks.
And... That is now my background on my laptop.

 

[Ibonibo]

Seems Van has the same problem every human encounters at that age :
ADOLESCENCE

Van, it goes away, it's normal. Follow the advice given and in the worst case think about this:

 

[Korza]

1. Have fun. Do what you like, and the hell what anyone else thinks. We all do and did dumb things, silly and uncool (especially when we thought we were cool), in the past and present, but don't do anything way too stupid.

2. Walk into a place like you own it, but act like you owe it all to everyone else. Take big strides, but don't step on any toes, unless absolutely necessary. Don't over-think trivial things: Go with the flow. You'd be amazed how much less stress haunts you that way.

3. Life is short. But if you screw it up, it's a very long life. Come to think of it, life isn't really short...it's the longest thing you'll ever have to do.

4. This too, shall pass. Don't get hung up about how ridiculous and petty everything will seem in 3-4 years, we all went though that. Loosen up and have some fun after you've completed your studying.

5. Be with people who appreciate who you are, don't try to be someone you're not. Fakeness wears off after a while, and then what are you left with? Another fake person? People who drift aimlessly from one stupid thing to another? It's okay to not know what you want out of life yet, but by the same token, don't jam your way of doing things down people's throats.

6. Smile, grim and bear it. Thick skin...to an extent, get some. Everyone needs a little rough patches in life to realize what they're really made of. None of it will really make sense until you're older. Motivate yourself, smile whenever you can get away with it, and you'll get a lot out of life than a bunch of "If I only did..." phrases to look back on.

7. Don't worry about getting laid yet. Do you really need an accident throwing a wrench into any sort of plans you'd like for the future? Thought not! There's lots of crazy teenage girls that romanticize about having a baby, but they are just that...crazy.

I would have to completely agree with Pupik. Just be yourself, go with the flow and have fun and you will be fine.

 

[Villain]

It just cracks me that in Western society depression is an issue, We are better off than most other country's in the whole world yet we get cut & emo about a girl not liking us or not being socially accepted.

There are thousands of people dying every day in Africa, towns, Villages & cities being blown to bits in Afganistan, over population in India forcing people to live in slumb's, Natural disaster being declared everywhere and we as westeners get depressed over trivial crap???

I was once depressed, seriosuly, but i realised what i douche i was being and how bad other people had it and literally snaped out of it & took life by the neck and accepted the challenge to be the best i can be.

Did you know some ridicoulous percentage of the worlds population dont even have regular access to fresh water or medical assitance?? here we are giving some guy cheer up advice on the internet when theres 3 Billion people out there that dont even know what the internet is.

My advice to you bro:

Snap out of it, be a man, take life by the horns & wrestle that b*tch down



Ill admitt my first post was a bit out of line but seriosuly man your problems vs the rest of the wrolds renders it so insignificant that its almost laughable.

Your young, just take a chill pill & ride the rollercoaster, be happy with what you have and aspire to get what you dont have.

its really not that bad.

I never liked a single post by Type S Tony until I read this one. I am shocked that I wholeheartedly agree. Hate to say it, kiddo, but Tony is more in the right than you might expect.

The one thing that got me through my formative years was that I always did my best to be optimistic and I always took a grain of salt that every hurt - no matter how bad - was temporary. There is no hole that you can't dig yourself out of. You can watch prison shows and see guys that were jailed from 18-28 years of age and then came out, got a job, and stayed successful.

It is very important to be grateful for the positive things that you have going for you. Think about the problems you had 10 years ago (when you were 5 years old), and ask yourself how much you care about those "problems" now. Now think of the problems you have now... 10 years from now you'll barely remember.

Keep your head up, be honest, and always try to do what is right by you (and the people important to you).