- 1,741
- A field in England
So, it's a bit of a long story...
So, somewhere in the region of August 2015, I was looking around for a second car. My Corsa and its boy-racer exhaust had served me well for my first car, but I wanted something a little more interesting to sit alongside the Corsa at home. Something different to the usual second car a 20-year-old male purchases in the UK - a diesel Audi A4.
Thanks to the days of Gran Turismo 4, 5 and 6 (I would have been about 10 when I got GT4) and my late grandfather having owned a few, I had a soft spot for the old generation of boxy Volvo wagons. The latest ones look gorgeous, but I wanted something a little older and more unique.
So, at work, there was a 740 saloon that had been sitting there for years (I had only been working there a month). I thought that it would make an entertaining purchase for sure. Only my pirate of a boss was being too coy about the price he was after - I don't deal with people who don't give a straight answer. That was that, then, I thought.
But by bizarre chance, next door to where I worked, another Volvo sat unused. A 240 estate! The two chaps that own the unit noticed me admiring the clapped out motor and approached me. I told them that I'd always liked the 240. They told me it was for sale. I might have been just a little giddy at the thought of owning the Gran Turismo troll-mobile. There was another potential buyer, however. The guy next door to them was also interested in the tired old Volvo (yes, there was 3 workshops in a row. I worked at a main dealer franchise, the interested man was a tyre fitter and the guys in the middle with the Volvo 240 were a local workshop.).
But, this other man wanted to use the Volvo for a different purpose to me. He wanted to BANGER RACE the poor old thing!
So, I asked how much the owners wanted for it. £250. The next day I wandered over there with £250 in my pocket, handed it to them, and signed the temporary registration document. The Volvo was mine. I couldn't very well let it get smashed to bits, could I? As an added bonus, it was MOT'd until February 2016.
So, the first plan of action was to wash the bird droppings off and get it serviced.
As you can see, the old girl wasn't doing well. At 187,000 miles, she'd had a difficult life. My plan was to reverse that. The rust in the rear wheel arches (as well as floor, rear valance and sills) was going to cost SEVERAL times more than what the car was worth. The exhaust as you can see was bent, some of the side trims on the doors were missing, the bodywork was truly awful. The bonnet had been washed with a scouring pad, too.
Within half an hour of the first drive, I didn't care. I was in love. The dirty, raspy, mechanical rattle from the rough old 4-cylinder was something I'd never heard before. Don't get me wrong, the car is crap to drive. It's slow, awful on petrol and handles like a boat. But it's so damn fun!
Anyway, there were a few mechanical things to tick off the list before the welding was to be done. Cambelt, tensioner, ball joint and a fuel pump relay (which was starting to prevent the car starting).
Next up was the welding. Despite the corrosion, it did pass its MOT in February on account of it not having rear seats at the time (slight abuse of the rules, there...). So, then it went to a Volvo main dealer (part of the franchise I worked for, which included Peugeot and Suzuki).
This is where everything went quite badly.
Why? Because this is what came back. 3 months later, I might add.
It's worth noting that the top picture taken from the outside was the better side. The other side had heat damage which had warped the panel from where they'd rushed the job, not to mention both repair panels were tacked over the top, instead of being tucked underneath. The bottom picture is a small patch they had stuck on top of the rear valance (under the boot/trunk lip), completely ignoring the minefield of rust underneath.
To add insult to injury, the underseal (rustproofing in other words) they'd put on the inner wheel arches peeled off after FIFTEEN miles. For this, they charged me £1500. That's one thousand, five hundred of her majesty's great British pounds.
As you can imagine, I wasn't best pleased. So, we're in June 2016, and I've just turned 21.
To be continued.
The Corsa
So, maybe my other cars should get a little love and attention on this thread as well. On the right is my first car (on the left is a car I bought to sell on), and since I started driving in 2013, it's been more reliable than any GM-designed car has any right to be. Say hello to 'The Beast' - a name my friends came up with.
'The Beast' is a 2002 Vauxhall Corsa in dark blue. The name was given by my friends because of the hamster-wheel of an engine.
Stats? Well it has a 1 litre, inline 3-cylinder engine with no turbo, making 58BHP and less than zero torque when new. As an entry-level model with the smallest engine, the official kerb weight is around 910kg, so on small British roads, this does at least make for decent handling.
Since 2013 when I got this car, it has had the following modifications;
-Removed stereo, speakers, rear seats, seat belts and plastic trim, shedding someting around 40-50kg, effectively making this a van
-Dacron insulation has been stuffed in the gaps to make it quieter
-Aftermarket halo-ring headlights
-Rear lights have been swapped for morette-style units
-A set of BBS 473 wheels and Toyo T1-R tyres.
-A cheap cone air filter, making more noise and no extra power
-A stainless steel exhaust system, cat-back with a rectangular tip, making more noise and still no extra power
-Spax Coilover suspension
-Replaced the old cracked bumpers with sports bumpers from an 'Exclusiv' special edition
-Front seats from a higher trim Corsa with a nicer look and better bolstering for a bit more comfort
-Black rear brake drums
-The roof has been resprayed
-Engine undertray made up for aerodynamics
-Tiny rally mirrors
The Combo
I couldn't very well stop at one poorly-built GM tin-can. Having become self-employed, I needed a van, and this was always going to be my first choice.
This is a 2010 Vauxhall Combo with a miniaturised tractor engine; the Fiat 1.3 Multijet JTD. It's a diesel (ugh) inline 4-cylinder with 74BHP and 125 lb-ft of torque from 1750rpm. Bollocks. There is one saving grace - it has no diesel particulate filter in this van.
Weight is a fairly low 1210kg unladen, which is the positive of GM producing a van based on a supermini. It's a lot lighter than the equivalent Ford Transit Connect. As a result the ungodly diesel engine can achieve over 55mpg.
Modifications so far;
-Floor mats from a Corsa to make it feel somewhat less van-like
-Recaro seats from an Astra GSi
-16 inch alloy wheels from an Exclusiv special edition, powder coated in gloss black
-Carpeting and insulation in the rear
-Black Halo Headlights
-Stainless steel straight pipe replacing the rear silencer
-Painted front bumper
The story of the 240 and the modifications on the other cars continues throughout this thread.
So, somewhere in the region of August 2015, I was looking around for a second car. My Corsa and its boy-racer exhaust had served me well for my first car, but I wanted something a little more interesting to sit alongside the Corsa at home. Something different to the usual second car a 20-year-old male purchases in the UK - a diesel Audi A4.
Thanks to the days of Gran Turismo 4, 5 and 6 (I would have been about 10 when I got GT4) and my late grandfather having owned a few, I had a soft spot for the old generation of boxy Volvo wagons. The latest ones look gorgeous, but I wanted something a little older and more unique.
So, at work, there was a 740 saloon that had been sitting there for years (I had only been working there a month). I thought that it would make an entertaining purchase for sure. Only my pirate of a boss was being too coy about the price he was after - I don't deal with people who don't give a straight answer. That was that, then, I thought.
But by bizarre chance, next door to where I worked, another Volvo sat unused. A 240 estate! The two chaps that own the unit noticed me admiring the clapped out motor and approached me. I told them that I'd always liked the 240. They told me it was for sale. I might have been just a little giddy at the thought of owning the Gran Turismo troll-mobile. There was another potential buyer, however. The guy next door to them was also interested in the tired old Volvo (yes, there was 3 workshops in a row. I worked at a main dealer franchise, the interested man was a tyre fitter and the guys in the middle with the Volvo 240 were a local workshop.).
But, this other man wanted to use the Volvo for a different purpose to me. He wanted to BANGER RACE the poor old thing!
So, I asked how much the owners wanted for it. £250. The next day I wandered over there with £250 in my pocket, handed it to them, and signed the temporary registration document. The Volvo was mine. I couldn't very well let it get smashed to bits, could I? As an added bonus, it was MOT'd until February 2016.
So, the first plan of action was to wash the bird droppings off and get it serviced.
As you can see, the old girl wasn't doing well. At 187,000 miles, she'd had a difficult life. My plan was to reverse that. The rust in the rear wheel arches (as well as floor, rear valance and sills) was going to cost SEVERAL times more than what the car was worth. The exhaust as you can see was bent, some of the side trims on the doors were missing, the bodywork was truly awful. The bonnet had been washed with a scouring pad, too.
Within half an hour of the first drive, I didn't care. I was in love. The dirty, raspy, mechanical rattle from the rough old 4-cylinder was something I'd never heard before. Don't get me wrong, the car is crap to drive. It's slow, awful on petrol and handles like a boat. But it's so damn fun!
Anyway, there were a few mechanical things to tick off the list before the welding was to be done. Cambelt, tensioner, ball joint and a fuel pump relay (which was starting to prevent the car starting).
Next up was the welding. Despite the corrosion, it did pass its MOT in February on account of it not having rear seats at the time (slight abuse of the rules, there...). So, then it went to a Volvo main dealer (part of the franchise I worked for, which included Peugeot and Suzuki).
This is where everything went quite badly.
Why? Because this is what came back. 3 months later, I might add.
It's worth noting that the top picture taken from the outside was the better side. The other side had heat damage which had warped the panel from where they'd rushed the job, not to mention both repair panels were tacked over the top, instead of being tucked underneath. The bottom picture is a small patch they had stuck on top of the rear valance (under the boot/trunk lip), completely ignoring the minefield of rust underneath.
To add insult to injury, the underseal (rustproofing in other words) they'd put on the inner wheel arches peeled off after FIFTEEN miles. For this, they charged me £1500. That's one thousand, five hundred of her majesty's great British pounds.
As you can imagine, I wasn't best pleased. So, we're in June 2016, and I've just turned 21.
To be continued.
The Corsa
So, maybe my other cars should get a little love and attention on this thread as well. On the right is my first car (on the left is a car I bought to sell on), and since I started driving in 2013, it's been more reliable than any GM-designed car has any right to be. Say hello to 'The Beast' - a name my friends came up with.
'The Beast' is a 2002 Vauxhall Corsa in dark blue. The name was given by my friends because of the hamster-wheel of an engine.
Stats? Well it has a 1 litre, inline 3-cylinder engine with no turbo, making 58BHP and less than zero torque when new. As an entry-level model with the smallest engine, the official kerb weight is around 910kg, so on small British roads, this does at least make for decent handling.
Since 2013 when I got this car, it has had the following modifications;
-Removed stereo, speakers, rear seats, seat belts and plastic trim, shedding someting around 40-50kg, effectively making this a van
-Dacron insulation has been stuffed in the gaps to make it quieter
-Aftermarket halo-ring headlights
-Rear lights have been swapped for morette-style units
-A set of BBS 473 wheels and Toyo T1-R tyres.
-A cheap cone air filter, making more noise and no extra power
-A stainless steel exhaust system, cat-back with a rectangular tip, making more noise and still no extra power
-Spax Coilover suspension
-Replaced the old cracked bumpers with sports bumpers from an 'Exclusiv' special edition
-Front seats from a higher trim Corsa with a nicer look and better bolstering for a bit more comfort
-Black rear brake drums
-The roof has been resprayed
-Engine undertray made up for aerodynamics
-Tiny rally mirrors
The Combo
I couldn't very well stop at one poorly-built GM tin-can. Having become self-employed, I needed a van, and this was always going to be my first choice.
This is a 2010 Vauxhall Combo with a miniaturised tractor engine; the Fiat 1.3 Multijet JTD. It's a diesel (ugh) inline 4-cylinder with 74BHP and 125 lb-ft of torque from 1750rpm. Bollocks. There is one saving grace - it has no diesel particulate filter in this van.
Weight is a fairly low 1210kg unladen, which is the positive of GM producing a van based on a supermini. It's a lot lighter than the equivalent Ford Transit Connect. As a result the ungodly diesel engine can achieve over 55mpg.
Modifications so far;
-Floor mats from a Corsa to make it feel somewhat less van-like
-Recaro seats from an Astra GSi
-16 inch alloy wheels from an Exclusiv special edition, powder coated in gloss black
-Carpeting and insulation in the rear
-Black Halo Headlights
-Stainless steel straight pipe replacing the rear silencer
-Painted front bumper
The story of the 240 and the modifications on the other cars continues throughout this thread.
Last edited:
Had them powder coated in matte black about 2 months ago. Just waiting for the cold weather to subside before I put some new tyres on and put them on the car.
