White Privilege

[Danoff]

Sorry sir. You are not reading correctly. Being asian does not mean you get 30% extra by having the same work ethic as a white/black/brown collegue. They are getting that extra income because they need to work at least 30% harder to get that 30%. Asians from china, korea, Japan are famous for their high work ethic. That is an important reason why subsequently they earn more, but not in all cases!! Please do your research! What you referring to is perhaps the stereotype that asian work hard and are good in math. Does that mean they automatically get 30% more? No they still need to work hard and be good in math to receive it.

White privilege refers to the fact when an someone from a non-dominant race does the same work with the same work ethic they are highly likely to earn less or for example a black person is refused the purchase of a house in favour for a white person etc. You are using a fictional "asian privilege" for the reason to disprove white privilege. I respect your opinion, but I am going to remove myself out of this conversation.

Um...

You just totally argued against yourself.

 

[McLaren]

Just gonna put it out there... it's beyond mind-boggling that other whites are denying white privilege's existence by saying "but whites get called rednecks" or "whites can live in the ghetto too",

Uh, that's because you're the one claiming white people don't get called names or live in ghetto as if it's their white "privilege" that keeps them from such things.

Do you really think any white person would live in an inner city, run-down "ghetto" neighborhood in the Bronx, South Chicago, etc?
Do you really think white people are called [variety of racial slurs] and terrorists because of their skin color?

Why'd it take Eminem nearly 20 years to be successful? Is it because his white privilege finally kicked in, or because he worked his ass off to escape poverty in an industry he wasn't welcomed in.

yet innocent Hispanic children are being locked in cages and innocent African Americans are being shot by cops left and right. There are 600,000 undocumented white immigrants currently in the USA but they are not looked at as criminals or a danger to society and will never be placed in a detention facility against their will. Our society is so shallow that we blindly see African Americans as criminals, causing cops to be paranoid they're up to no good and shoot them for walking down the street. Things like this is why I'm no longer conservative and now identify as independent. Seriously, have a good look at yourselves.

Why don't you take a good look at yourself and research this nonsense before you blindly spill even more of the nightly news story at 6.

 

[Northstar]

Seriously, have a good look at yourselves.

Perhaps you should do the same. I get that you're young and presumably have the lack of life experience that most 15 year old's do. But as you get older you'll realize that at the end of the day the only person responsible for how your life has ultimately turned out is yourself (obviously with the exception of victims of violence/sexual crimes). Everyone has to face adversity in their lives, whether it's growing up in a gang territory or trying to live up to a famous name. It sucks and isn't anywhere close to fair, but than again if life was fair we would never make progress as a civilization.

That's not to say things shouldn't be done to remove systematic racism and other discriminatory practices as much as possible, but going the tall poppy route is easily the worst way to go about doing that. Tearing each other down and trying to make people feel guilty simply because they were born "privileged" is just counter-intuitive and only makes things worse.

 

[Imari]

But as you get older you'll realize that at the end of the day the only person responsible for how your life has ultimately turned out is yourself (obviously with the exception of victims of violence/sexual crimes).

I don't think that's true even with your exception. We all face things that are beyond our control, and sometimes they're big enough to have a really large effect on how your life turns out.

What we don't do is hold people accountable for things that are beyond their control or not reasonably able to be changed. Everyone has a certain amount of agency and control over their life, but it's unreasonable to hold them accountable for things that they couldn't change. That may include the way that their life turned out overall, through no real fault of their own.

It's not that hard to think of ways that people could have worked hard and made what seemed at the time to be reasonably good choices, and yet don't get the success that the American Dream would suggest is their due. From my own experience and people I have met, I suspect it happens to rather a lot of people. As you say, the world isn't particularly fair and that extends all the way to sometimes wrecking the lives of hard working and diligent people.

This is why I'm big on judging people by what they do rather than where they ended up. Simply being rich/famous/successful doesn't really mean anything without knowing how you got there. It's the journey that makes all the difference, and the result is largely beside the point. I'd like to see a society that more fairly rewarded positive things like hard work and intelligence and disincentivised things like deception and selfishness, but I'm not holding my breath.

 

[PocketZeven]

But, from a logical standpoint, doesn't that mean that, even though you have different colour skin and we (the Americans) have mocked, ridiculed and made fun of you in the recent past, you can still make it in America if you just work hard? Given they are, on average, 30% above white Americans in income, doesn't it tell you that skin colour and racial animosity isn't necessarily the major determining factor in your financial success?

I use Asian privilege for the reasons I stated above and I agree it's fictional. Success achieved through hard work and education isn't privilege. You can look different and still be successful if you work hard, essentially, the American dream. They don't care what you look like in the grand scheme of things, just what you do, how hard you work or what brilliant ideas you can come up with. So it tells me that white privilege can't be a generic thing, as in, I'm white and therefore will be more successful than everyone else because I control everything otherwise we'd be trouncing the Asian Americans too and we aren't.

Have you ever looked at education levels among the various ethnicities as a starting point to determining outcomes? More educated = more income?

Onle last post to sumarize and clarify confusion on my views:

FYI I am European (Netherlands). The issue is very much more prevelant in eastern europe (russia etc.) compared to western Europe. In my country I am considered rightwing (centre-right), but in the US I would probably be considered a socialist

Historically for example the chinese built the railroads and have also been lynched and murdered for racist reasons. But unlike blacks the chinese werent brought here as slaves and were a lot smaller community. However the current american chinese actually came to america generations later. And you are right! If you work hard you can succeed! But it helps if you are white.

I (like you) dont like the word "white privilege", but for a lack of a better word I used it. Dont blame me or quote me on using it. I'll use "the advantage of being white in a white society"

"the advantage of being white in a white society":
In the majority of situations a white person is more likely to be hired for a job (low or highpaying) then someone from other ethnicity with the same educational background and same experience. But like everything there are exceptions.

I am not saying it is racist at all. But it exists and should not be ignored. Compare it with a hot blond being more likely to be hit on, only because of the way she looks. It isnt right but it isnt her fault is it? An "ugly" girl might have to do more effort (botox, surgery, make-up etc.) to get the same kind of attention. You might call it "hot blonde privilege", but that just sounds stupid doesnt it? But that doesnt mean it doesnt exist. Hopefully I clarified my opinion and I agree with your post as well, but that doesnt mean certain ethnicities do not have a disadvantage in a white society compared to white people.

 

[ryzno]

I get the feeling some people see the concept of white privilege as a personal slight on themselves when it's simply an attempt to explain the way things work, a worldview. No judgment is implied in its invocation as far as I can see.[/

Onle last post to sumarize and clarify confusion on my views:

FYI I am European (Netherlands). The issue is very much more prevelant in eastern europe (russia etc.) compared to western Europe. In my country I am considered rightwing (centre-right), but in the US I would probably be considered a socialist

I (like you) dont like the word "white privilege", but for a lack of a better word I used it. Dont blame me or quote me on using it. I'll use "the advantage of being white in a white society"

"the advantage of being white in a white society":
In the majority of situations a white person is more likely to be hired for a job (low or highpaying) then someone from other ethnicity with the same educational background and same experience. But like everything there are exceptions.

I am not saying it is racist at all. But it exists and should not be ignored. Compare it with a hot blond being more likely to be hit on, only because of the way she looks. It isnt right but it isnt her fault is it? An "ugly" girl might have to do more effort (botox, surgery, make-up etc.) to excell. You might call it "hot blonde privilege", but that is just stupid isnt it? But that doesnt mean it doesnt exist. Hopefully I clarified my opinion and I agree with your post as well, but that doesnt mean certain ethnicities do not have a disadvantage in a white society compared to white people.

But is America still a "white society"?
It's very diverse.

 

[PocketZeven]

But is America still a "white society"?
It's very diverse.

But is it really? Just take a look at the whitehouse cabinate and tell me if it reflects the diversity in the US?



edit: First Pie wasnt accurate, replaced with another.

 

[Rallywagon]

Onle last post to sumarize and clarify confusion on my views:

FYI I am European (Netherlands). The issue is very much more prevelant in eastern europe (russia etc.) compared to western Europe. In my country I am considered rightwing (centre-right), but in the US I would probably be considered a socialist

Historically for example the chinese built the railroads and have also been lynched and murdered for racist reasons. But unlike blacks the chinese werent brought here as slaves and were a lot smaller community. However the current american chinese actually came to america generations later. And you are right! If you work hard you can succeed! But it helps if you are white.

I (like you) dont like the word "white privilege", but for a lack of a better word I used it. Dont blame me or quote me on using it. I'll use "the advantage of being white in a white society"

"the advantage of being white in a white society":
In the majority of situations a white person is more likely to be hired for a job (low or highpaying) then someone from other ethnicity with the same educational background and same experience. But like everything there are exceptions.

I am not saying it is racist at all. But it exists and should not be ignored. Compare it with a hot blond being more likely to be hit on, only because of the way she looks. It isnt right but it isnt her fault is it? An "ugly" girl might have to do more effort (botox, surgery, make-up etc.) to get the same kind of attention. You might call it "hot blonde privilege", but that just sounds stupid doesnt it? But that doesnt mean it doesnt exist. Hopefully I clarified my opinion and I agree with your post as well, but that doesnt mean certain ethnicities do not have a disadvantage in a white society compared to white people.

You can call it institutionalized racism. Which is what it is. No need to throw white anything in to the name.

 

[LMSCorvetteGT2]

Perhaps you should do the same. I get that you're young and presumably have the lack of life experience that most 15 year old's do. But as you get older you'll realize that at the end of the day the only person responsible for how your life has ultimately turned out is yourself (obviously with the exception of victims of violence/sexual crimes). Everyone has to face adversity in their lives, whether it's growing up in a gang territory or trying to live up to a famous name. It sucks and isn't anywhere close to fair, but than again if life was fair we would never make progress as a civilization.

That's not to say things shouldn't be done to remove systematic racism and other discriminatory practices as much as possible, but going the tall poppy route is easily the worst way to go about doing that. Tearing each other down and trying to make people feel guilty simply because they were born "privileged" is just counter-intuitive and only makes things worse.

Thanks you for this cause this is more or less the reason I hate the term this thread is named after.

But is it really? Just take a look at the whitehouse cabinate and tell me if it reflects the diversity in the US?



edit: First Pie wasnt accurate, replaced with another.

Glad you redacted the video game one, because it isn't correct as you've stated nor do they really divulge how they got stats on ethnicity of players.

As for that and your edited chart, I would say yes both represent diversity especially when compared to other western nations it could be argued. Why is that? Well because showing diversity doesn't mean you black wash, Asian wash or so on and limit the number of a majority ethnicity just because of some perceived prejudice based on a supposed lack of representation.

I see diversity there, and I also see a make up of the nation, which is still very much Caucasian as far as population goes

 

[Turbo]

But is America still a "white society"?
It's very diverse.

It's racially and culturally diverse indeed, but whites disproportionately hold the most power and society is molded around the white person's view, for the most part.

 

[Danoff]

white person's view

Can you elaborate on what the "white person's view" is, and how it molds society?

Edit:

While you're at it, go ahead and explain what a black person's view, an asian person's view, and a hispanic person's view would be, and how that view would mold society.

 

[Turbo]

Can you elaborate on what the "white person's view" is, and how it molds society?

Edit:

While you're at it, go ahead and explain what a black person's view, an asian person's view, and a hispanic person's view would be, and how that view would mold society.

White people are the majority race and hold the most power, so without the influence of minorities their views would inevitably mold our society. White people, with out regulation, naturally think about what's best for the white person first, not what's best for all races. White people holding absolute power and putting their race before other races has resulted in minorities being oppressed, impoverished, and poorly educated for centuries in nearly every non-white country colonized by white people. Hence, white people still hold power and account for higher paying jobs than minorities in America. When you seriously think about it, not much has changed in the USA since the colonial times.

As a white person, it would be racist for me to assume the views of black, asian, and hispanic Americans therefore I will not do so. But, I'd imagine that the oppression and impoverishment of these people for centuries have caused their views to be more defensive and underrepresented in society.

 

[Carbonox]

White people are the majority race and hold the most power, so without the influence of minorities their views would inevitably mold our society. White people, with out regulation, naturally think about what's best for the white person first, not what's best for all races. White people holding absolute power and putting their race before other races has resulted in minorities being oppressed, impoverished, and poorly educated for centuries in nearly every non-white country colonized by white people. Hence, white people still hold power and account for higher paying jobs than minorities in America. When you seriously think about it, not much has changed in the USA since the colonial times.

As a white person, it would be racist for me to assume the views of black, asian, and hispanic Americans therefore I will not do so. But, I'd imagine that the oppression and impoverishment of these people for centuries have caused their views to be more defensive and underrepresented in society.

...and it's not racist at all for you to make all these assumptions of the views of all white people?

 

[Danoff]

White people, with out regulation, naturally think about what's best for the white person first, not what's best for all races.

That's racist.

White people holding absolute power and putting their race before other races has resulted in minorities being oppressed, impoverished, and poorly educated for centuries in nearly every non-white country colonized by white people.

So because there used to be bad white (men), white (men) are bad? That's racist.

Hence, white people still hold power and account for higher paying jobs than minorities in America.

So white people who hold higher paying jobs got them because of their race? That's racist.

When you seriously think about it, not much has changed in the USA since the colonial times.

Except... TONS of changes. Like women being allowed to vote, and black people being allowed to own anything and have rights.... and other stuff too it turns out. We even elected a black president. This was someone who during colonial times could not have held any office, owned anything, voted, or had any basic rights. PRESIDENT! TWICE!

As a white person, it would be racist for me to assume the views of black, asian, and hispanic Americans therefore I will not do so.

...and for you to assume such views of a white person too btw.

 

[Exorcet]

When you seriously think about it, not much has changed in the USA since the colonial times.

Slavery. Maybe it's just how your wording thing, but I find it easy to disagree with. There is still racism, but things have changed drastically.

I don't find the idea of people putting their own race first particularly convincing as well. My race doesn't factor into very much and I don't really segregate people by race in the first place. Skin color can be good for describing and individual, but beyond that it's not very meaningful.

As a white person, it would be racist for me to assume the views of black, asian, and hispanic Americans therefore I will not do so. But, I'd imagine that the oppression and impoverishment of these people for centuries have caused their views to be more defensive and underrepresented in society.

For the ones actually have suffered, possibly. That would also apply to whites who have suffered though.

 

[Imari]

White people, with out regulation, naturally think about what's best for the white person first, not what's best for all races.

Wow. You're actually stereotyping an entire race based on what their forefathers did.

You wanna apply that to all races, or just whites?

That's racist.

It's so racist it's staggering. And, like, demonstrably false.

 

[McLaren]

But is it really? Just take a look at the whitehouse cabinate and tell me if it reflects the diversity in the US?



edit: First Pie wasnt accurate, replaced with another.

Are you looking for diversity or affirmative action with the cabinet?

During Obama's 2nd term, he picked who he thought was best, yet others wanted him taking race into consideration.

Four months into his second term, we look to the president's Cabinet appointments only to find that he has once again overlooked his most loyal constituency,'' Thompson said in the Congressional Black Caucus's weekly radio address.

http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/296755-carney-defends-diversity-of-obamas-cabinet
"Your most loyal supporters are black, yet you pick non-blacks!" Ah, who cares if the people he picked people who want to help black people have more power, they're not black.

There's your base behind the people who scream white privilege. Judging by skin than individual.

White people are the majority race and hold the most power, so without the influence of minorities their views would inevitably mold our society. White people, with out regulation, naturally think about what's best for the white person first, not what's best for all races. White people holding absolute power and putting their race before other races has resulted in minorities being oppressed, impoverished, and poorly educated for centuries in nearly every non-white country colonized by white people.

Damn, so there is black privilege, Asian privilege, Hispanic privilege after all.

I just have to go to the countries where the majority of the population are those demographics.

Hence, white people still hold power and account for higher paying jobs than minorities in America.

Sorry, that would be the Asian demographic.

In stark contrast to the two preceding lists, Asians tend to dominate in high-tech, high-paying fields. Though the No. 1 job — personal appearance workers (think people who do your nails, eyebrows, etc.) — generally isn’t a high-paying career, almost every other job on the list requires a high level of education and skill. Asians make up 57.8% of the nation’s personal appearance workers, and on the other end of the top 10, 19.8% of computer programmers are Asian.

https://www.cheatsheet.com/money-ca...icas-divided-jobs-gender-race.html/?a=viewall

When you seriously think about it, not much has changed in the USA since the colonial times.

Coming from the side that has gone so far as to re-introduce segregation....
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news...-being-called-racists/?utm_term=.3759fdc2f341

As a white person, it would be racist for me to assume the views of black, asian, and hispanic Americans therefore I will not do so. But, I'd imagine that the oppression and impoverishment of these people for centuries have caused their views to be more defensive and underrepresented in society.

Why not? You're already racist as a white person for thinking none of these happen to whites or assuming how all whites think in America.

Do you really think an unarmed white person would be killed by a cop because the cop thought he/she was a criminal?
Do you really think any white person would live in an inner city, run-down "ghetto" neighborhood in the Bronx, South Chicago, etc?
Do you really think white people are called [variety of racial slurs] and terrorists because of their skin color?
Do you really think a white person would do 5 years in prison because they are a weed addict?
Do you really think a white person would get passed down from a job because they have dreads but a black person with dreads wouldn't?

 

[PeterJB]

Can you elaborate on what the "white person's view" is, and how it molds society?

Edit:

While you're at it, go ahead and explain what a black person's view, an asian person's view, and a hispanic person's view would be, and how that view would mold society.

Here's a "black person's view", though by all accounts it's the wrong view to have if you're black:

 

[LeMansAid]

..... the white person's view......

Ok, it's patently clear that @Turbo is simply not equipped to be part of the solution to the problem that is misguidedly labelled "white privilege".. I hope that there can be a realisation of that at some point.

What's now bothering me is the names that I'm seeing trying to sort @Turbo out. Where are the people @Turbo is giving a bad name to? The "super-lefties", as they might be called. Nowhere to be seen. Instead it's left to a combination of people that tend to stick there necks out from a "centrist" view, and others that are generally characterised as having a "right wing" view trying to sort it out.

This is a problem. If @Turbo could be considered anywhere near to being part of your "house", you should be in here helping "get your house in order". Opportunities to be on the same page are golden, and you're failing right now.

 

[Johnnypenso]

In the majority of situations a white person is more likely to be hired for a job (low or highpaying) then someone from other ethnicity with the same educational background and same experience. But like everything there are exceptions.
Can you explain how the black employment rate is 93.4% and the Hispanic unemployment rate is 95.2% in a country where a white person is more likely to be hired for any job?

I am not saying it is racist at all. But it exists and should not be ignored. Compare it with a hot blond being more likely to be hit on, only because of the way she looks. It isnt right but it isnt her fault is it? An "ugly" girl might have to do more effort (botox, surgery, make-up etc.) to get the same kind of attention. You might call it "hot blonde privilege", but that just sounds stupid doesnt it? But that doesnt mean it doesnt exist. Hopefully I clarified my opinion and I agree with your post as well, but that doesnt mean certain ethnicities do not have a disadvantage in a white society compared to white people.

I could be wrong but it sounds to me an awfully lot like, if you're more attractive to your potential market you are more likely to succeed. That would work for the job market where more education/experience/interpersonal skills means you are more likely to get hired. It also works for the dating market where if you are better looking or in better physical condition you are more likely to get a date or at least be more attractive to potential suitors. I addressed this above with my question about exploring education levels and the connection to income but you completely ignored it.

Why isn't it right that the hot blond is more likely to get hit on?

 

[Rallywagon]

Im sorry. That "weed addict" thing... I don't know how I missed that but after seeing it, I'm done. If that's the base level we are dealing with there is no point in furthering the debate.

 

[Northstar]

Im sorry. That "weed addict" thing... I don't know how I missed that but after seeing it, I'm done. If that's the base level we are dealing with there is no point in furthering the debate.

I'd hate to see how he reacts when he gets to the Irish and Jewish sections of his history book.

 

[TenEightyOne]

Why isn't it right that the hot blond is more likely to get hit on?

I'd be happy to think that you'd finally had some kind of revelation about the inner workings of large societies but I suspect that this example is presented as a joke. You've hit one of the nails on the head though - now how might you transfer that to other subliminal notions of perceived perfection, dominance or aspiration?

 

[LMSCorvetteGT2]

Here's a "black person's view", though by all accounts it's the wrong view to have if you're black:

Are you being sarcastic with that line of thought, I'm pretty sure you are. If not I'd say it's not at all wrong to think that the victim mentality and pseudo living through those before them is quite an issue. Especially when highly naive people like @Turbo for example think there is some issue with being white, and it's due to that that people of color should feel like victims. Which isn't so, yes racism exists, but to claim is systemic or actually implemented on a level that is similar to when governments of the past have done it is just wrong.

 

[PeterJB]

Are you being sarcastic with that line of thought, I'm pretty sure you are. If not I'd say it's not at all wrong to think that the victim mentality and pseudo living through those before them is quite an issue. Especially when highly naive people like @Turbo for example think there is some issue with being white, and it's due to that that people of color should feel like victims. Which isn't so, yes racism exists, but to claim is systemic or actually implemented on a level that is similar to when governments of the past have done it is just wrong.

I'm poking fun at identity politics, because according to people who subscribe to it Candace Owens has the wrong opinions for a black woman.

 

[Johnnypenso]

I'd be happy to think that you'd finally had some kind of revelation about the inner workings of large societies but I suspect that this example is presented as a joke. You've hit one of the nails on the head though - now how might you transfer that to other subliminal notions of perceived perfection, dominance or aspiration?

Are you speaking on his behalf as to his intent with the hot blonde analogy? I'm going with the assumption that it wasn't a joke and if I had to guess, I'd say he was leading towards a path of judging women or potential partners based on their entire being rather than the superficial package they come in. So unless you're his official representative here I'd rather hear the answer from him.

 

[novcze]

The issue is very much more prevelant in eastern europe (russia etc.) compared to western Europe.

the issue = white privilege

"the advantage of being white in a white society":
In the majority of situations a white person is more likely to be hired for a job (low or highpaying) then someone from other ethnicity with the same educational background and same experience. But like everything there are exceptions.

white privilege = "the advantage of being white in a white society"

the issue = "the advantage of being white in a white society"


Do you realize that my "eastern european" country is 99.9% white, so that makes the issue more prevalent, right? I wonder what would be the solution to this issue.

Blaming an entire race. Shaming an entire race, dismissing individual experiences, its a scape goat, its divisive, its ignorant. Fix the cause, fix the institutions, dont hate on an entire race for it though. I mean, that is pretty much the definition of racism, right?

The term "white privilege" is maybe widely misunderstood but it surely is used to fuel and justify racial hate. As shown in this video, black people commit more hate crimes per capita than white people.

 

[huskeR32]

Ok, it's patently clear that @Turbo is simply not equipped to be part of the solution to the problem that is misguidedly labelled "white privilege".. I hope that there can be a realisation of that at some point.

What's now bothering me is the names that I'm seeing trying to sort @Turbo out. Where are the people @Turbo is giving a bad name to? The "super-lefties", as they might be called. Nowhere to be seen. Instead it's left to a combination of people that tend to stick there necks out from a "centrist" view, and others that are generally characterised as having a "right wing" view trying to sort it out.

This is a problem. If @Turbo could be considered anywhere near to being part of your "house", you should be in here helping "get your house in order". Opportunities to be on the same page are golden, and you're failing right now.

So if I've got this right, not all whites are racist, but all "lefties" are being given "a bad name" by one person's arguments?

 

[Johnnypenso]

So if I've got this right, not all whites are racist, but all "lefties" are being given "a bad name" by one person's arguments?

People on this forum are sometimes referred to in terms of their political bent. It seems to me LeMans is asking where the "super-lefties" are in this discussion in this forum, not "all" super-lefties generally speaking. I also believe "super-lefties" is in quotes for a reason. Could be wrong though, I'm sure he'll be along to explain sooner or later. So my guess is you've got it wrong.

 

[LeMansAid]

So if I've got this right, not all whites are racist, but all "lefties" are being given "a bad name" by one person's arguments?

I don't really like using left and right, but I occasionally do for convenience. My over-arching point was that forum users that would tend to be pegged as particularly left were conspicuous in their absence in addressing @Turbo's blatant racism.

I would have loved to have the likes of @Carbonox and @novcze come in "cocked and loaded" only to find that you (or equivalent) had already done the "shooting". Every dodgy lefty gives lefties in general a worse name, and that contributes to the divide (and by extension, the persistence of the issue itself - "white privilege" in this case). You're not guilty by association, but damn, don't you want to make sure that people know that despite your heart being in maybe the same place as @Turbo's, that your head is not? That you understand that all racism is wrong, and not just the forms of it that your heart most bleeds for?

@Turbo, I don't want you to feel like you're being bullied, or having your name dragged through the mud here. Try not to be upset or angry. Please try to absorb and process as much information as possible, and realise that even if your heart is telling you the truth, it won't always know how best to address that truth.