Originally posted by Der Alta
A good friend of mine got in some hot water with his wife one night. She was surfing around the channels, and he exclaimed "Wait, back up a few." He had noticed the TV show "The Weakest Link" At which point he said "Hey, that's Ron Jeremy" to which his wife asked "Who's that?" He gave a quick explanation and she responded with "And how do you know this?" Uhhh.... Oops.
As for my Ex's this one brushes the line of Ex/Current. One of my Ex's gave me a Coffee mug for Valentines day. LARGE coffee mug from the college I went to. It had a few candies in it, on top of gifts that couples would use on Valentines day. Which we did that evening.
That mug is now my wife's favorite, but she's never heard the story of how I aquired. Makes me feel a bit odd when I see her drinking out of it every morning.
Way back in High School, I was a bit of a callous individual. Women were considered playthings, that I changed on a regular basis. I called up one particular annoying girlfriend to give her the news. "Hi Sheila, I just realized that you and my Ex have something in common." "Really? What's that?" "You're both my ex-girlfriends."
Perhaps my meanest break-up was a girl in college. We had gone out for the evening to a party and ended up back at her place. After a bit of fun, I got up, dressed, dropped a $20 on the night table and scooted hastily out the door.
Second to that one was a girl that although beautiful, was dumber than a box of broken hammers. We were noisily involved on a saturday afternoon when the phone rang. The bedside extension was within reach, so I answered it. A brief conversation later, I set it on the edge of the bed and continued my endeavor with an increased attentiveness. Minutes later we both reached an appropriate stopping point. I immediately went for my clothing. As I was gathering them up, I said to her "Your mother is on the phone." Needless to say, we never spoke again.
I've dated a few bright ladies in the past, but these come to mind as the best stories to repeat.
AO
