Chapter 8: New Skills "Hey, what's with all the tire squeal?" "All my other tires were torn up, so I had to use my dirt tires." "How do you tear up a whole bunch of tires?" "With a Katana, an hill, and a jar of grape jam." "That makes absolutely no sense." "Exactly." "Jeez, I swear you're getting more and more strange each day." "What do you think Tony's got you set up for?" "I don't know, what do you think?" "I don't know. Must be pretty special since he wants you to come in my rice-box." "Would. You. Stop?! Just let it go, already. Wait, why are we stopping?" "'Cause there's no more road." He was right. Gone was the old circuit, and in it's place was a dirt trail. We had no idea where it went. So, guess who decided to have fun with that? #-Stay wut her Johnny, Johnny, Stay wut her Johnny... #-I am a rally driver on the circuit for years, Im a woefull man now for jammin gears... "What are you doing?!" "I have dirt tires, and were on a dirt trail! It's called taking advantage!" "SLOW DOWN!!!!!" "Oh, right. You've never done rally racing, have you?" "Watch the road!!!" "There's my answer." #-The car that I drive is an old Escort, I bought it in galway in the town of gort... "Woah, baby!" "Hey, what's that?" "Is it a Stop sign?!" "Might as well be..." (BANG!!!) "Owwwww..." "Good handbrake!" I was able to motion myself out of the evil deathtrap car with a good sized lump on my head. "Hagraha..." "Hey Greg, check it out!" "Check what out? I'm seeing doub- no, wait, triple." "It's a Ford RS200!" My eyesight came into check long enough for me to see right. "Oh, it is." "Hey Greg, thanks for coming out here. You enjoy the drive?" "Oh yeah, it was great..." (THUD!) "Yeah... Why don't we wait a half-hour and then we'll get started." "Okaaayyyy..." After 30 minutes, and 30 packs of Ice, I was ready to go. "Look at this thing! Full roll cage, racing seats, no sound insulation, no carpet, no A/C, but you still have the old stereo." "Hey it's a classic. Why don't you do a practice lap with it." "This'll be easy. These cars only had 250 horsepower. My NSX is more powerful." Starting the car, I heard a weird sound from the back. "Woah!" "What, is there something wrong?" "Uh, no, everything's cool." "3, 2, 1, GO!" "Heyyy!!!" "Why is this so fast?!!" "Tony, that's not a normal RS200, is it?" "Here's the stat sheet, see for yourself." "You let Greg drive this?!" "Holy Crapoli!" "Quit sliding!" "Impressive. He hasn't spun out yet." "Oh no!" "Wow, never seen anyone do a Kawabata entry on that turn. Maybe this guy does have some skill." "I'm still sliding on tarmac! What's wrong with this thing?!" "I'm gonna take a stab in the dark and guess that you haven't made this easy for him?" "No, I haven't." "Huh. You got any bagels?" "Yeah, over here..." "Oi! This thing is mad!" "Look! There he goes!" "Good recovery!" "And good bagel. Is this Blueberry?" "Yep." "Again with the dirt?! When will it end?" "Hey, here he comes!" "STOP!!!!!!" "And, it's stuck." I ran out of the car and started making gravel angels. "Land! Sweet Land!" "So, did you like the RS200?" "Not now, Tony." "Right. There's a small town with an IHOP not too far from here. Why don't I explain everything there." "C'mon, Greg!" "No! No thanks. I'll just catch a bus. Hey, is that a bagel in you hand?" "No..." End of Chapter 8. Probably not a very good chapter, but I'm taking things one at a time.