A Story by Speed: The Ballad of a Young Driver. Chapter 18: How's My Driving?

Chapter 8: New Skills​

"Hey, what's with all the tire squeal?"

"All my other tires were torn up, so I had to use my dirt tires."

"How do you tear up a whole bunch of tires?"

"With a Katana, an hill, and a jar of grape jam."

"That makes absolutely no sense."

"Exactly."

"Jeez, I swear you're getting more and more strange each day."

"What do you think Tony's got you set up for?"

"I don't know, what do you think?"

"I don't know. Must be pretty special since he wants you to come in my rice-box."

"Would. You. Stop?! Just let it go, already. Wait, why are we stopping?"

"'Cause there's no more road."



He was right. Gone was the old circuit, and in it's place was a dirt trail. We had no idea where it went. So, guess who decided to have fun with that?



#-Stay wut her Johnny, Johnny, Stay wut her Johnny...



#-I am a rally driver on the circuit for years, I’m a woefull man now for jammin gears...

"What are you doing?!"

"I have dirt tires, and were on a dirt trail! It's called taking advantage!"



"SLOW DOWN!!!!!"



"Oh, right. You've never done rally racing, have you?"

"Watch the road!!!"

"There's my answer."



#-The car that I drive is an old Escort, I bought it in galway in the town of gort...

"Woah, baby!"

"Hey, what's that?"



"Is it a Stop sign?!"

"Might as well be..."



(BANG!!!) "Owwwww..."

"Good handbrake!"

I was able to motion myself out of the evil deathtrap car with a good sized lump on my head.

"Hagraha..."

"Hey Greg, check it out!"

"Check what out? I'm seeing doub- no, wait, triple."



"It's a Ford RS200!"

My eyesight came into check long enough for me to see right.

"Oh, it is."

"Hey Greg, thanks for coming out here. You enjoy the drive?"

"Oh yeah, it was great..." (THUD!)

"Yeah... Why don't we wait a half-hour and then we'll get started."

"Okaaayyyy..."

After 30 minutes, and 30 packs of Ice, I was ready to go.

"Look at this thing! Full roll cage, racing seats, no sound insulation, no carpet, no A/C, but you still have the old stereo."

"Hey it's a classic. Why don't you do a practice lap with it."

"This'll be easy. These cars only had 250 horsepower. My NSX is more powerful."

Starting the car, I heard a weird sound from the back.



"Woah!"

"What, is there something wrong?"

"Uh, no, everything's cool."

"3, 2, 1, GO!"



"Heyyy!!!"



"Why is this so fast?!!"

"Tony, that's not a normal RS200, is it?"

"Here's the stat sheet, see for yourself."

"You let Greg drive this?!"



"Holy Crapoli!"



"Quit sliding!"

"Impressive. He hasn't spun out yet."



"Oh no!"

"Wow, never seen anyone do a Kawabata entry on that turn. Maybe this guy does have some skill."



"I'm still sliding on tarmac! What's wrong with this thing?!"

"I'm gonna take a stab in the dark and guess that you haven't made this easy for him?"

"No, I haven't."

"Huh. You got any bagels?"

"Yeah, over here..."



"Oi! This thing is mad!"



"Look! There he goes!"



"Good recovery!"

"And good bagel. Is this Blueberry?"

"Yep."



"Again with the dirt?! When will it end?"

"Hey, here he comes!"



"STOP!!!!!!"



"And, it's stuck."

I ran out of the car and started making gravel angels.

"Land! Sweet Land!"

"So, did you like the RS200?"

"Not now, Tony."

"Right. There's a small town with an IHOP not too far from here. Why don't I explain everything there."

"C'mon, Greg!"

"No! No thanks. I'll just catch a bus. Hey, is that a bagel in you hand?"

"No..."

End of Chapter 8. Probably not a very good chapter, but I'm taking things one at a time.

 

That was hilarious! It's a great chapter!

How did you get that RS200 to oversteer like that? Mine just understeers.

 

Thanks. No tuning (except for parts), just drove like a mad man.

 

I suppose that's the best way to drive these rally homologlation cars, I guess.

 

Yeah. The car will get a little more important in the next chapter.

 

I don't care about the cars!!
Why not a Cream Cheese Bagel?!
Pretty RS200, surprised the Greg can rally. But how come Tom didn't see you at the Rally?
*I'm setting up myself up for so much cameos lol*

 

I can't believe that Floridians have found out about a song about Irish rallying.

EDIT: Sorry for getting you mixed up with Daniel. I thought this was his story when I saw the bit where he goes off-roading on the home course of the protagonist of Daniel's story.

 

I'm not sure who you're talking about. St. Petersburg, Florida isn't anywhere near New Zealand.

As for the song, I heard it a while ago and was surprised such a song existed! So while I was writing up the chapter I thought "Hey, I know what I could do..."

 

It's Probably about me listening to it
I'm a New Zealander

 

I can't help but love that song.

 

Chapter 9: Unfamiliar Situation​

Waitress: "What'll it be, boys?"

"I'll just have some coffee"

"Bacon and Eggs."

"I'll have the Oreo Pancakes."

Waitress: "Thank You."

"The what?"

"Oreo Pancakes."

"What's that?"

"They crush up Oreo cookies, put it into to pancake batter, and they cook it. Then they put the leftover cookie on top and top it with whipped cream."

"Ugh, that's nasty. Way too much chocolate."

"This is America baby. We were founded for many things, one being nastiness."

All of a sudden, some random old guy stands up and yells "Amen!"

"Well, forgive me for being a little more clean."

"So, how do you like the RS200?"

"It feels like Tyrone Biggums is having an episode in that thing."

"Creative. Accurate, but Creative. Anyway, here's the car's stat sheet."

As I looked over the paper, the mad car began to make sense.

"500 Horespower..."

"Yep."

"650 ft/lbs of tourqe..."

"Mm-hmm."

"Fastest 0-60: 2.3 Seconds on Gravel?!"

"That's right."

"So, all this, and it only has a top speed of 120 miles an hour. What's this thing tuned for?"

"European Rallycross."

"Why am I driving a rallycross car?"

"For my exam. You see, along with being a race admin, every country or region recognized by the GTG has a member that also is in charge of certain racing series. In this case, I manage the rally racing in America. For that, comes a special Rally License. It's not mandatory, but it helps you run in special races. The Clubman License, however, is mandatory."

"You haven't answered my question."

"Right now you've got potential, and that's about it. Your driving is far from perfect, and you need to learn new skills to be succesful. One of those skills is off-road racing."

"Why?"

"You ask way too many questions. Anyway, let me tell you about myself. I'm 30 years old, I don't have kids, I'm not married, I don't have a girlfriend, and I've got waaayyy to much free time on my hands."

"I just wanted an answer, not a life story."

"Fair enough. You see, the GTG has an odd habit of giving drivers cars for a new license. I need to clean out my warehouse, and Shawn needs a new pair of dress pants. So, he bet me 50 bucks that you could get the Rally License. If you could beat the time, you not only get the license, you also get the RS200."

"What would I do with a rallycross car?"

"That depends, you'll have to get the license."

"Ok, what are the times?"

"2'05 for the Clubman License, 2'02 for the Rally license, and of course the RS200."

"What? I've never been on this track and even I can tell that's impossible!"

"It probably is. Also, you get a five second penalty for spinning out and hitting the wall."

The waitress comes by with our food.

Waitress: "Here you go, boys."

"Thanks."

Tony starts talking again with his mouth full of eggs.

"I mean, you've definetly got more skill than this guy."

He shows me a newspaper article.



"Who's this?"

"James Volinski, age 25."

"Never heard of him."

"Born in Moscow, Russia, he's one of the youngest drivers in the Formula GT. It's also his second year racing, without a sponsor too."

"How'd he do his first year?"

"He finished 4th in the championship."

"Impressive!"

"No it's not. The only reason he even got in the Top 5 is because he basically ran everyone off the course. He's so aggressive the drivers gave him the nickname of 'Young Buck.' That's why no one's willing to sponsor him."

"Huh."

"It's also rumored his cousin is the Russian buissiness-boy that bought TVR."

We finish our breakfast and make our way back to the track. When I go to start up the RS200...

"It won't move."

"Oh no, don't tell me..."

Tony examinse the car and comes out with a dissapointed look on his face.

"The clutch broke. It'll be a good hour before my guy can bring up a new one."

While the mechanic was fixing the RS200...

"Hey, Tony. Since were fixing the Ford, and I've just now heard about these licenses, is there a time for a Mitsubishi Evo T.M.E.?"

"Yeah. According to my laptop, It's 2'10 for the Clubman license, and 2'05 for the Rally license. Why do you..."



"Where's he going?"



"I guess he's trying to get the license."



"Nice! Almost perfect through there."



"So far, so good."



"Let's see how he does on tarmac."



"Good powerslide!"



"Usually everyone understeers on the tarmac."



"Only a couple more corners..."



"Looks like he's got it!"



"Done!"

"What was all that?"

"So, how'd I do?"

"2'03.9, almost a new record. So, the I-C and Rally License is yours."

"Wait! That's not fair, he already knows how to rally!"

"Yeah, but they didn't have this test in Belgium."

"Show-off."

"Hey, PJ did just great. Maybe you can do the same thing, Greg."

He did have a point. Later, the mechanic fixed the RS200. Could I pull it off? In a short answer...



No...



No...



And no.



The tarmac wasn't any better.

"What was my time?"

"5 minutes dead."

"WHAT?!!!"

I could hear PJ laughing in his Evo, which sounds very familiar to James May's laugh.



I did manage to get one clean lap.

"2'04.99 You got the Clubman License! All that's left is the rally. I won't be here the day after, so tomorrow's your last day. If you come early I'll let you get a bit of practice."

On the way home...

"PJ, can I ask for a favor?"

"What?"

"How do you rally?"

"I...I'm sorry, can you ask that again?"

"Ugh, how do you rally?"

"Ho ho! The Master is asking the sidekick for driving advice!"

Usually, I have no problem when it comes to performance driving, but when I have a problem, one of the LAST things I'll do is ask for advice.

"Ok, If you want my help, all you have to say is PJ is the master of the universe..."

"PJ is the master of the universe..."

"He's more mighty than Chuck Norris..."

"He's more mighty than Chuck Norris..."

"And Greg's NSX is a big rice-bucket."

"Oh, you've gotta be kidding!"

"Nope!"

"Fine, my car is a big rice-bucket."

"Nope, you didn't say it right!"

"OK! My NSX is a big rice-bucket."

"Oh, you have no idea how good that feels..."

End of Chapter 9

Spoiler

Tyrone Biggums is a fictional charecter played by Dave Chappelle on The Chappelle Show, a popular sketch comedy show on Comedy Central.

Also, the RS200 does not produce 500HP and 650 ft/lbs of tourqe when fully tuned in GT4

 

I could go for some Oreo pancakes right about now.

 

I'm loving this story. Especially the bit at the end, where Greg has to admit that PJ is mightier than Chuck Norris.

 

This story is great. Chuck Norris references are great.
I have one question, though:
How do you upload the pics without it giving an error message (Invalid Document.)
That's what I'm having problems with my Race Story right now.

 

1) Make an account in a free image hosting site (i.e. Imageshack).

2) When you upload pictures, there should be a direct url link.

3)Copy the link, Press the "Insert Image" button and paste the link in it. It should be something like .

Edit: Or, look here.

 

Would SnapFish work?
Keep the stories coming. I want to see how this turns out.

 

Don't know, I've never tried it.

Also, thanks. The next chapter will hopefuly be up before the end of the week.

 

The chapter drags on a bit, but sets the stage into the next part of the story.

Chapter 10: A New Path​

"Alright, last day. You ready?"

"He better be, after all the help I gave him."

"So, what happens if he fails?"

"The Mandatory punishment: 100 slaps with a wet noodle."

"PJ, what are you on about? I'm right here!"

"I know."

"Like I said, you're getting more and more strange each day."

"Deal with it."

"Ok ladies. If you don't mind I'd like to get started."

"Don't forget what I told you."

(engine starts)

"Alright, just can't forget what he told me."



"Go!"

(Earlier that morning)

"Alright, since you've adimitted my supreme rule over the Great Chuck Norris, I'll help you out. The track is fairly simple, so it shouldn't be to hard to learn."

"Ok."

"When you launch, do half throttle, and no more."



"When you get on the jump, get of the accelerator until you land."

"Why?"

"For some reason, you get a smoother landing."

"Huh."

"Ok, for the downhil turn, you need to brake and turn at the same time. Then, when the car steps out, counter-steer and get on the gas."



"Got it! Perfect!"



"Ok, you do the same thing for these S-curves. The only difference is that on the small bit in between the hairpins, you need to be get off the throttle. The car will snap in the other direction. Then start counter-steering and get back on the gas."



"Like this?"

"Yep."



"Ok, when you get on the tarmac you need to be perfect. Because you're on dirt tires, you'll have a lot of understeer."

"Why didn't I understeer when I first started driving?"

"So that the story would be more entertaining, and because you just started getting used to the car."



"When you go to clip the apex, try to get two tires on the little bit of dirt. This'll losen the car up a bit so that you can turn more."

"Oh, I get it."

"Now the hairpin is real important. Grab onto that handbrake like you're grabbing onto...wait, I can't say that."

"What in the world is on your mind?!"



"Anyway, Wait exactly one second after the car starts sliding, the get on the gas."

"What good will that do, I'll just lose a bunch of speed."



"Yeah, but you should be able to make the rest of the turn on full throttle."



"Ok, the last part is the bridge. You want to drift onto it. Once your front wheels get on, get offf the throttle so that the car will snap back."



"Alright!"



"After this, it's straight to the finish."



"Time!"

"So how'd he do?"

"So how'd I do?"

"I just said that."

"You stole my line!"

"What line?!"

"Guys! Jeez, I can see why you two are friends."

"Yeah, Yeah. So the time?"

"2'01.9 Congradulations, you passed."

"Awesome! So is that a new record?"

"Nope. In fact, that was some of the worst rallying I've ever seen! I've had guys in Imprezas do 1'58 without a problem!"

"But, I passed!"

"Yes, you did. And that RS200 is not easy to drive, so maybe Shawn was right. Anyway, here's his $50, and the keys to the car."

"Whatever, lets go home."

By Noon, we arrive back at my house.

"Hey Greg!"
"Hey Greg!"

"Hey guys! Shawn, I didn't expect you to be here."

"Well, I thought I would come by to say hello."

"How'd your test go?"

"I passed! I was going to put the new licenses in my wallet. I think I left it in the NSX."

"Uhhh...Why don't we go inside? You must be really tired!"

"No, I'm good. Oh Shawn, here's your $50."

"No, you hold onto it! Lets go inside with Sam."

"I told you I'm fine! Jeez, why are you guys pushing me?"

"Well, you see..."

"Come on! Let me go to my...Oh. My. God."

"Yeah, about that..."

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY CAR?!!!!"

"Ok, I came up to see Sam, and there were a couple guys trying to take it. Me and Sam tried to stop them, but they got away! So we had to chase them with the Gullwing."

"So you did the PIT on my car?!"

"Didn't have to. The first corner they came up to they lost it. The cops came and arrested them."

"Shawn, please tell me you can fix this."

"It won't be easy, but I'll see what I can do."

"Ok. WHY NIXON, WHY?!!!"

"Who's Nixon?"

"I don't know, can't you see I'm having a moment!"

#-(static) Soy un Perdedor, I'm a loser baby, so why don't you (static) me... (static)*

"That's not funny."

"We know. Why don't we go inside."

After a couple of hours...

"Ok, so my car is destroyed, and I have two new racing licenses. What do I do?"

"Well there's some races on the West Coast for drivers who just got their Clubman License. If I remember right, there's one going on in the next few days in Seattle, Washington."

"How am I supposed to get to the West Coast in a few days?"

"Why don't we take the Chevelle? It's got more room than the Evo and you've barely driven it."

"Another thing about the race is that there's a limit on horsepower. You can't have a car with more than 260 horsepower."

"Well, the Civic is in the shop, but there's so many mods on it that even that's too powerful. So, I guess I'll have to buy a new car."

"With what money?"

"Well, unbeknownst to you guys, I've got all my race winnings in the bank. I think it's about 10 grand."

"Alright, go online and look for a car."

I go online and find lots of potential choices. A Mitsubishi Evo for $9,500? No, It eats up all my savings and I want a challenge.

Toyota AE86 for $3,000? It's well balanced and cheap, but a bit on the slow side.

A Daihatsu Copen? Why would someone even import such a thing!

The potential began to turn into hopelessness, and then I saw something that made my jaw drop.



"Oh..."



"My..."



"God! This thing is hideous!"

"Nice. A Savanna RX7..."

"...That someone riced the living daylights out of!"

"Yeah, but look! $6,000, it's been tuned to 240 horsepower, and the seller lives in Seattle. I think you should take it."

"Yeah, but look at it!"

"Well, let's see, there's Focuses, Del Sols, and those little cars that are named after coffee drinks."

"Suzuki Cappuccino? Ok, I see your point. Looks like we've got a winner."

At around nine, me and PJ's stuff is packed up and the hotel reservations have been made.

"Hey, Shawn, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, what is it?"

"Are you dating Sam?"

"Uh...How'd you..."

"It's not hard to tell, trust me."

"Well, you don't mind, do you?"

"If you want my permission, then fix my car."

"Will do! Have fun!"

"Bye you guys!"



"Hey Greg, you haven't turned on the stereo yet, have you?"

"Nope."

"Alright, let's see whats on here."

#-(loudly) HIGHWAY TO HELL!

"OK! Let's not do that again."

End of chapter 10

*That line is a lyric to the song Loser by Beck.

 

Nice chapter
Keep it coming.

 

Nice chapter, shame about the NSX.

 

Yeah, but I'd actually go for a Focus. Especially if it's the blue RS. Hey, your story

 

I'd go for the Cappuccino. Because it's my favorite car.

 

I would've, but the Focus RS was never sold in America and the Cappuccino only has 70 horsepower, which is lightning fast!

Chapter 11: Arrival​

"PJ?"

(mumble)

"PJ?"

"...Oh, I love ya Maggie..."

"What the...PJ!"

"Ah! Where's the Applesauce?!"

"Who's Maggie?"

"Maggie?! I...uh...don't know what you're talking about!"

"And what does that have to do with applesauce?"

"Uh...Where are we?"

"We just passed the city limits."

Yes, we, and our Chevelle, have gotten into Seattle, Washington.

"Hopefully that annoying rattle will stop."

"I don't know, I found it kind of soothing."

So, the first stop is to our hotel to check in.



"Wow! This is downtown Seattle."

"It looks more like Vegas."

"Apparently, it's called 'Mini Vegas.' It's one of the Seattle's attractions."

"Alright, let's go to the hotel."



We find the place and give the Chevelle to the valet guy.

"Word of advice, start in 3rd, not 1st."

Valet: "Uh, Ok."

"The Castle of Craps? You booked our rooms in a hotel called 'The Castle of Craps?'"

"Well, it was cheap, and I liked the name."

*tire squeal*

Valet: "AHHHH!!!!!"

"I told him to start in third!"

We get inside, check in, and go to our rooms. I think I'll give you PJ's impression.

"These rooms are rubbish! I can see how the hotel got its name."

"It could be worse..."

"How could it be worse? Why don't you check out our glorious veiw."

Truth be told, it was bad. The wallpapaer was torn to shreds, there were holes in the wall, and t looked like someone dumped a garbage truck full of dirt in here. Also, I needed to go to the bathroom, yet it smelled like someone already had. I stepped into the kitchen, and found that my thoughts were indeed correct.

"OK, just a minor inconvienence. We only have a couple of hours before the race, so lets go get the car."

Valet: "Here's your c...car, s...sir."

"Thanks. Nice hair."

"Uh, Greg, do you know what this is?"

I look at PJ as he pulls an MG42 machine gun from the trunk.

"Oh..."

"Hey, it's got a note from Shawn."

"Dear Greg and PJ, I've heard that the West Coast has lots of gangs, so I thought this would come in handy. Good Luck!"

"So for a good luck present we get a machine gun from I presume The Second World War. I don't know what to make of that. Uh, Greg?"

"1200 rounds per minute, weighs in at 25 pounds, Bullets go at 755 meters a second..."

"Greg! I know you like stuff from The War, but can we go get the car before you exchange some sweet words?"

"What? Uh, ok."



"This is the place."

"Damn, and I thought our hotel room smelled bad!"

We get out of the car and see some guy with a cigarette in his mouth.

"Uh, we're here for the RX7?"

Gangster: "Oh, really? Carlos! There are some guys asking about the whip!"

"You got the money, homeboy?"

"You got the car?"

"Hey, hey! Not so fast, man. First, you gotta pound it!"

"I'm not pounding anything, I just want the car."

"Hmmm, I'm starting to think you 5-0 boy!"

"Alright, listen Eminem! I just want the car, that's it, not some wannabe gangster in my face!"

"Oh, you really want to do this? Let's get them, boys!"

*45 seconds later*

"Now that wasn't so hard, was it?"

"(cough) you (cough) haters!"

"Keys please, unless you want to take things up with my little German friend here."

Gangster: "Yo, where'd you get that MG?"

"Power of creative writing, baby."

So, by this time we made it into Seattle, got a crappy hotel, an MG42, and took out a small street gang. Now, all we had to do was make our way to the track.

"Oh god, it looks worse in real life!"

"Well, we got the car. So where's the track?"

"I think this is it right here."





"A street track, eh?"

"Hey, there's the window to sign up for the race."

When we go the sign up window, and I can hear people talking.

Spectators: "Look at that piece of ricer crap! He's not seriously going to race in that is he?"

"Well, I expected for people to be a bit more blatant, so this isn't too bad."

"Oh, make it end!"

After what felt like hours, I'm signed up and take the RX7 into the pits.

"Hey, third place gets $2,000. That should be more than enough to fix the car up."

"No! I don't think I can save it. The minute I get the chance, I'm selling it!"

They call up the drivers to start, and I make my way onto the track.



End of Chapter 11.

 

Nice chapter. I feel sorry for the valet, and his (most likely) ruined pants.

 

Word of notice: There are literally no casinos in Seattle, and the closest one would be the Tulalip casino, which is about 50 miles from Seattle.

Also, there are two gangs in Seattle, with about six members each. And none of the use gangsta speak, because they're Vietnamese Triad.

Good chapter otherwise, but I point out holes in the fabric of plot and reality.

 

Yeah. I figured that was false and that some of the chapter wouldn't make sense. The next one should be up later today.

 

Hmmm... Maybe GT4 should have made a track in Las Vegas, so the story would make sense. Anyway, nice job on the story so far, and I want to see what happens next.

 

Chapter 12: Unexpectations​

"Well, this doesn't look too bad. The 3-series and the Intergrale are a surprise, but this looks like an easy win!"

#-"Hey, don't get cocky man!"

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever."

#-"The thing you want to be careful with is the hill. A lot of drivers have gone off on there, so watch out."

Before I could say anything else, the light went green, and the race was on!

"Woah, they're getting away!"

#-"I told you not to get cocky!"

These guys were no joke! Even the Integra up front was going fast. I could instantly tell I would have to drive out of my skin to even have a chance.



The first hairpin slowed down the Legacy by a lot, and I had him in my sights.



I was able to make a pass going up the hill straight.
"This is the hill? It doesn't look too-"



"WOAH!"
3-Series driver: "Hey, get off my side!"

The hill jumps slow down the heavy Bimmer enough for me to get into 4th. The Supra up ahead was really fast, as well as really wild! He was sliding all over the track. I was praying that he wouldn't spin out in front of me and crash.



Thankfully, he didn't. It was a drag race down the back straight into the the next few corners. I outbroke him coming to the right-hander.
"Wait, what is he-"



Despite this, he wasn't giving in.
"What are you doing?! Are you trying to crash?!"



I eventually got away from Mad Max after sacrificing my quarter-panel.
#-"Just two more, the Integra and the Delta, and you'll have the lead."



"This Integra should be easy. The FF layaout will make it understeer."

The fact of the matter was that it didn't understeer. In fact, I'd say it was faster than me through the corners. And whenever I did pass, The driver blocked me out, then got back on the racing line. This person knew how to drive!



They had stamina too. Halfawy into the 2nd lap, They were still blocking.



Of course nothing lasts forever, and the Integra made a mistake.
"YES!!"
All that was left was the Delta. Could I pull it off?



Nope.
Delta driver: "Ah, another win! I wonder how she did..."

Oh well, 2nd place isn't too bad. At least I got some more money.

"Hmmm, I'd say that went pretty well."

"Yeah, it was the podium."

"You sure you want to sell the RX7?"

"Absolutely."

"Umm, excuse me?"

Out of nowhere this girl was right behind me.

"Hi, my name is-"

"GREG!!!"
"AMY!!!"

"Wha-WATCH OUT!!!!"

(CRASH!!!)

===========

"Oh man..."

"Jeez, took you long enough..."

"PJ? Ow, my head! Where the hell am I?"

"Hospital. You've been knocked out for about 4 days."

End of Chapter 12

 

People going to the hospital is a staple in race stories. Also: Mad tyte camber, yo. The Armageddon Van has about that much.

 

Jesus tapdancing Christ, that's a crapload of camber.