Are you that guy?

[ferrari_chris]

I got Scorching!

Seems like I need to up my game with some more fist bumping and an addiction to Starbucks.

 

[Casio]

When I order a burger from a sit down joint (not McD's and the like) the server/waiter/waitress always asks how I want it cooked.

Medium-well, by the way.

Must me because I come from a country that doesn't tip. At all. I've never been asked how I'd like anything cooked. Steak is the exception to that, but I don't eat it. But I've neverhad a burger thats over/under cooked, unless it's my cooking that is, in which case it's probably both at a same time.

 

[Pupik]

You fail at ordering not because of the technique, but because a burger should never be cooked more than medium-rare...If I wanted to eat a shoe, I'd go to my closet.

If I wanted to eat squishy pink meat when I eat, I'll have fillet mignon.

Or go hunting.

 

[Duke]

I tried to order a burger medium rare, the waitress told me they could only do just medium on account of the health department or some junk. Im not going to give the name of the eatery, but I can tell you that it might be "Your neighborhood bar and grill".

That's why I rarely (no pun intended - well maybe a little) order burgers at places like that. However, there are two local places that will cook burgers to order.

I do like crispy fries.

If I wanted to eat squishy pink meat when I eat, I'll have fillet mignon.

If I didn't want to eat squishy pink meat, I'd be a vegetarian.

 

[Danoff]

I know it's a side topic, but medium is about the maximum I'll accept for a burger. Beyond that and what's the point of eating one? If I'm going to eat badly, I at least want it to taste right.

Can't get your burger medium or less? Perhaps you don't trust your local establishment to do it right? Find a new place to eat.

 

[Solid Lifters]

I always ask for medium-rare at any good burger joint I visit. However, I usually never get it that way. It always comes to me medium-well. It's pointless to eat a burger cooked to 'well done.'

 

[Omnis]

You fail at ordering not because of the technique, but because a burger should never be cooked more than medium-rare, and that only at a place that really knows what "rare" means.

If I wanted to eat a shoe, I'd go to my closet.

Amen, brother. A burger is not a hockey puck on a bun.

 

[Jondot]

Whoops. I think it was the BlackBerry on the table thing that did it.

 

[dylansan]

There needs to be an addition to this quiz:
Do you initiate or engage in arguments about the proper cook time for hamburgers?

 

[OZZYGT]

Whoops. I think it was the BlackBerry on the table thing that did it.

Michael Scott is defenitely that guy.

 

[Klostrophobic]

Nothing wrong with being righteous about your meat. Never forget that kids. Cherish it, hold it, keep it near and dear for your meat is sacred. Don't let anyone else touch it or tell you what to do with it.

 

[dylansan]

So how do you cook it?

 

[Klostrophobic]

Microwave. 4 and a half minutes on high. Flip. 3 minutes on high. Put a piece of cheese on it, 30 seconds on medium.

 

[Wolfe]

Interestingly, I was described as "Cool", but with a description including all of the things I'd selected "no" for.

Same here. It's not a very good test.

I want a well-done burger, with cheddar cheese. And that's it.

Not "I want the Colorado Texas Beef-Steak Chipotle Onion Burger without...the steak, the onions, the lettuce, the tomato, pickles, chipotle sauce and the herpes."

No. I'd rather have a burger. With cheddar cheese. Well done.

I'll only have my burger cooked either "medium rare" or "medium," and I love swiss cheese and bacon, but otherwise I agree completely. Sometimes it can be so amazingly difficult to just. Get. A burger.

On the burger topic, how did the pickle become such a universal, utterly inescapable condiment? They're disgusting, yet 99.9999% of sit-down restaurants will give me one no matter what I say to the waiter, forcing me to use my napkin to soak up the juice it leaves behind (if I'm lucky enough for it to have not contaminated my bun or fries). Is the chef's bureaucratic obligation really so strong that he can't just leave the pickle in its container and not drop it on my plate?