Batracer thread!

  • Thread starter Thread starter MagpieRacer
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Meh I'll kill you all if you use my McLaren as a mirror once more..
 
Ooo... sounds like a threat :p

And have you guys noticed the Williams kinda looks like a skunk in its smallest image?
 
Davidson Rumoured To Have Raced "High As A Kite"

Following the Bahrain GP Season Opener, suprsingly at Bahrain, it's understood Lee Davidson had taken to substances believed to be Canabis.

The Brit was last seen entering The Priory with fellow celebs such as Pete Doherty, Jade Goody and Mr Blobby..

Scott "I'm gonna win everything" Woodwiss Believed To Be In Deep Depression

Everyone's favourite big head, Scott Woodwiss, is believed to be in a deep depression after failing to finish.

"He's locked himself in the bedroom just like when I didn't give him a PS2 back in 2002." Said a terribly frightened Mrs. Woodwiss, hang in there bud!

Duncan Hutchison Dates Beer Can

Ferrari driver Duncan Hutchison mysteriously mistook a Fosters beer can for a Fosters grid girl whilst on a break in Australia earlier this week. The Brit famed for his wild nights out is expected his first child with his partner any time soon.

Ferrari have yet to either comment on his actions or indeed tell him it's infact only a can..

Ashley Butler Is Blake Haswell In Disguise!

A gorup of rival teams, know only as "The Renault-McLaren-Ferrari-BMW Faction" has issued a complaint to the FIA stating that they believe Ashley Butler is infact Blake Haswell in disguise, after all, Blakes attempt at a Alober (Alonso + Webber) helmet kinda pulled off as more Alonso than Webber..

(To be taken with a hint of light heartedness!)
 
The Quick List
Qualifying: As of Sepang GP

The 'Quick List' puts drivers head to head and matches their overall Hot Lap pace... today we have Qualfying Gods, tomorrow Fastest Lap Doggs.

The fastest qualifying lap from each driver at every round is added together, giving us the overall consistantly fastest runner.

Fastest Driver

1.Dunstan: 3'03.087 -0.000
2.Zemahj: 3'03.108 -0.021
3.Horton: 3'03.151 -0.064

4.Hutchison: 3'03.247 -0.160
5.Wonton: 3'03.438 -0.351
6.Chang: 3'03.490 -0.403
7.Taylor: 3'03.556 -0.469
8.Woodwiss: 3'03.568 -0.481
9.Nikolakopoulos: 3'03.624 -0.537
10.Dubois: 3'03.641 -0.554
11.Davidson: 3'03.714 -0.627
12.Smith: 3'03.780 -0.693
13.Kawasie: 3'03.834 -0.747
14.Charkaoui: 3'04.008 -0.921
15.Beyens: 3'04.003 -0.916
16.Trendell: 3'04.307 -1.220
17.Windybottom: 3'04.408 -1.321
18.Butler: 3'04.957 -1.870
19.Keller: 3'06.146 -3.059
20.Mason: 3'08.776 -5.689
21.Schwarz: 1'31.338 +1'31.749*
22.Shepherd: 0'00.000 +3'03.087**

Fastest Team

1.Ferrari: 6'06.334 -0.000
2.McLaren: 6'06.865 -0.531
3.Red Bull: 6'07.111 -0.777

4.BMW Suaber: 6'07.270 -0.936
5.Williams: 6'07.272 -0.938
6.Toro Rosso: 6'07.863 -1.529
7.Midland: 6'08.416 -2.082
8.HONDA: 6'08.598 -2.264
9.Toyota: 6'09.770 -3.436
10.Renault: 6'12.344 -6.010
11.Super Aguri: 1'31.338 +4'34.996***

* Signifies number of DNS Qualifying sessions.

Edit: My brain is saw from all those numbers... I need some of Bee's Canabis :indiff:
 
Oh yeah, sweet #7.

+Rep XGT Taipan.

Keep 'em coming :)
 
Nice stories Lee!:D

Sepang Race Review

Sepang has been famed for providing some tricky weather conditions but this weekend had been fairly kind. Would it remain dry in the race however? Many drivers took a gamble on this opting for fully dry setups.
The start saw 2 drivers make exceptionally bad starts, Tag Schwarz, only dropped 1 place but it would be iompossible for him to have dropped any more, he dropped to last, and Nikolakopoulos dropped 9 places from 12th to 21st. At turn 12 on lap 1, race 1 pole sitter Zemahj made an error and lost a lot of speed whilst he cleaned up his tyres.
Midlands Windybottom had a bad 2nd lap as he dropped 4, he complained about the setup to his engineers.

Lap 3 saw one of the bravest overtakes so far this season as Dubois overtook Zemahj on the fast right hander of turn 11, they had been battling for a few corners before the overtake itself.

Dubois passes Zemahj


Lap 5 saw the first retirment of the afternoon as Jamez Shepard made an error in his Super Aguri at turn 14. Then on lap 7, David Smith who had a collision at Bahrain causing himm to retire, had another one, this time it was the Williams of Kawasie who caused him to retire.
Kawasie and Smith collide


Also on lap 7 was the demise of Jef Beyens, he made an error and paid for it big time with a shunt into the wall and a long spin in the gravel.
Beyens spins in the gravel


Only 1 overtake happened in the lap after the safety car pulled in as Kawasie moved into 17th. Lap 16 saw the first scheduled pitstops as Davidson and Wonton pitted from P6 and P3. During the pitstop periods, former team mates Suzanne Taylor and Brad Horton battled on, Taylor followed Horton round closely but couldnt find a way past. She followed him right up to P2, just 3 tenths behind him however just 1 lap later the V10 cosworth engine died, ending a promising afternoon for the Toro Rosso Driver.
Taylor and Horton battle for position

Taylors engine lets go


At this point it was Brad Horton who was leading with the 2 Ferraris of Hutchison and Dunstan behind him. Woodwiss ws looking strong in 4th and Zemahj was 5th..until he pitted into 16th. Honda were looking good in 5th and 6th. Butler pitted on lap 27 and dropped to 14th. Woodwiss then made his pitstop from 3rd down to 12th.

On lap 32 Nikolakopoulos had a gearbox problem and pitted in to fix it. On lap 34, Schwarz and Davidson collided, Schwarz managed to continue with no problems but Davidson had to make a pitstop to repair some damage.
Davidson and Schwarz collide


Lap 35 saw the first pitstop of the front 3, Brad Horton pitted from the lead, an absolutely crucial stop for the Australian driver.
Horton pits fromt the lead


Lap 38 saw Hutchison make his stop from P1, then Dunstan followed suit on lap 39. Putting Horton in 1st, Hutchison 2nd and Dunstan 3rd. Dubois made his final stop putting him 5th.

Up at the front the Ferraris were getting closer to eachother and to Hortons Mclaren. Whilst 7 laps from the end, Davidsons Mclaren had an exhaust failure. 6 laps to go and Hutchison was 1.3 off of Horton and Dunstan was only a further 2 seconds back. But with 3 laps to go it was a lot closer. Hutchison was less than half a second off whilst Dunstan sat 1.4 seconds back. The last lap had everyone on their feet, Ferrari and Mclaren were on the pit wall ready to celebrate a victory but it was Mclaren who had the right to do so, Horton beating Hutchison by a mere 0.003 seconds and Dunstan by 0.97 seconds for one of the closest ever finishes.
Horton, Hutchison and Dunstan cross the line


Results from 4th
4 Guillaume Dubois Honda +17.506
5 Tag Schwarz Super Aguri +25.695
6 Anton Wonton Williams +30.601
7 Nick Nikolakopoulos Toyota +31.503
8 Herman Chang BMW Sauber +31.580
9 Yuuji Kawasie Williams +32.013
10 Scott Woodwiss Renault +35.659
11 Luke Mason Renault +40.040
12 Ashley Butler Honda +53.083
13 Simon Trendell Toro Rosso +68.669
14 Abdeslam Charkaoui Midland +68.768
15 Sir Ivor Windybottom Midland +107.701
16 Yameth Zemahj Red Bull +111.654
17 Lee Davidson McLaren Lap 49
18 Matt Keller Toyota Lap 25
19 Suzanne Taylor Toro Rosso Lap 22
20 David Smith BMW Sauber Lap 7
21 Jef Beyens Red Bull Lap 7
22 Jamez Shepherd Super Aguri Lap 5
 
Nicely done with the report again Ash - makes me wonder though how you managed to stage the 1-2-3 finish! :eek:

And now it's time for...
THE DESTRUCTION INDEX

We're really starting to rack up the points across the board here, quite a few high scorers at Sepang, although no one breached double digits like last week. Here's the biggest gains (losses?) from the latest race:
+7: Lee Davidson (McLaren), Danny Graham (Midland)
+6: Tag Schwarz (Super Aguri), Yuuji Kawasie (Williams)
+5: David Smith (BMW Sauber)


And those who came through unscathed, congrats/curses: Scott Woodwiss (Renault), Brad Horton (McLaren), Ben Dunstan (Ferrari), Duncan Hutchinson (Ferrari), Ashley Butler and Guillaume Dubois (Honda). I guess it was a cleaner (and drier. Grr!) race than I expected.

Now let's get to the top 10 destruction masters, overall through Sepang! (The parentheses are the amount of position gained, not points)
1st: LeeBee Davidson (McLaren), 16 points (+4)
2nd: David "DNF" Smith (BMW Sauber), 14 points (+4)
3rd (tie): Appie Charkaoui (Midland) (-1), 'Femme Fatale' Taylor (Toro Rosso) (0), Luke "#@*(&#@" Mason (Renault) (-2), 13 points
6th: Alphabet Soup Zemahj (Red Bull), 12 points (+1)
7th (tie): The Sting (Red Bull) (+4), Tag You're It Schwarz (Super Aguri) (+6), D-Graham (Midland) (+9), 10 points
10th (tie): Scott Woodwiss (Renault) (-6), Herman Chang (BMW Sauber) (-2), 9 points

And on the bottom end, all by his lonesome:
22nd: Simon Trendell (Toro Rosso), 1 point

So, what to say?
All the zeroes broke their spell this week, with the aforementioned Trendell just barely by messing up quali, Keller with a botched quali and a DNF, and KamiKawa with his usual load of Sato'ing into things.

Let it be known however that No Destruction Not Always Means Yes Points, as Mr. Trendell is lacking in both columns. However, the unnecessarily safe Honda team (tied for 20th), is setting a good example to the contrary - 2nd and 3rd to last in desruction, 2nd and 3rd to first in points.

Quali errors still seem to be the most common among drivers, although the solo pit stop errors are very popular among certain drivers such as the Graham Cracker and Bee. On the flip side we've only had one solo spin and stall so far this season.

The most dangerous teams so far this season is surprisingly the championship-winning crew at BMW Sauber, totaling 23 points between Chang and Smith. Party's over guys, lay off the champange, huh? But perhaps some of their issues can be attributed to outside influences, such as Kawasie's latest rampage...
 
What do I have DI points for?

And Sepang was unnaturally dry :scared: Still, I held fastest lap at (two) points :D
 
OMG!!! I was moving up the field great, and then driver error. ITS A FIX!
 
Sting, I just noticed you use Jenson's, ahem, button...

For good reason, we share the same initials, so I might as well use his lid. lol
Mine's edited a bit in the white bit above the JB right where the relection is there is a Jaguar leaping cat logo. lol
 
THE QUICK LIST has been reviewed and edited.

Please view for a new look at how the fastest drivers are measured.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Quick List
Qualifying Kings



*Although is says 'Sepang GP, it's actually up to date as of the Melbourne GP. Sorry for any confusion.
 
After weeks of silence...

Machiels speaks again. The former Toyota driver is no longer part of the Panasonic Toyota F1 Racing Team as no one heard of him for a long time. Machiels feels ashamed to even show up again: "I let everybody down. My teammate, the team, the other drivers. All I can do is to show my deepest apologies." With these words, Machiels also tells he is interested in a seat again. For Machiels, it does not matter which team will be interested in him. "I do not see an F1 titel for me anymore, so all I want to do now is to enjoy the speed once more". Machiels hasn't lost the taste. In fact, Machiels is already testing with a team although this information has been kept hidding. Wether Machiels will be entering the F1 back, has to be decided by the other drivers, Machiels says...
 
OK, why is it that so far my teammate is getting all the good quali performances. lol
 
I just got involved and somehow ended up in BTCC, could someone join team GTP RACING? I've got the Alfa Romeo. :sly:
 
OK, why is it that so far my teammate is getting all the good quali performances. lol

I have no idea why :crazy:

But then again, for some reason I've always ben good at Qualifying in GTP series.

Remember S5, I was in an Aguri, as I am this season (as wll as temporarly driving at RBR as Yameth Zemajh) and I had the highest Average Qualifying position at the end of the season!
 
lol good race until lap 56 when i get a problem and drop from 2nd to 6th. I think thats just harsh. lol

btw, nice to see the Renault's doing so well.
 
Score One for Midland. Thusly overtaking the team I was ejected from.
 
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