Batracer thread!

[Casio]

Offical Press conference: Brad Horton

Every race you make the bold claim that you will win. But you havn't won one race this year. In fact, you've only won one race in three seasons at Midland F1...

BH: What's happening in the races, is I'm letting people win. If I won every race it would be boring. I wouldn't want the big girls in the paddock like Haswell and Hutchinson to go crying in the corner when I beat them. I'm to nice a guy for that.

You come to each race with a different supermodel everyweek...

BH: I actually have 19 wives. They all happen to be supermodels. You may remember a few years back I ran a competition called "The Bachelor". Well I found 20 women, left one at home to clean, and the other 19 come with me on my private jet. Unfortunately, the FIA only allows me one into the race...

Here is a photo with me and some of my girls.

(Left to right: Maria, Katie, Me, Sophie, Cindi, Eva, Beyens' GF)

You recently purchased an your own Island to build a home on did you not?

BH: Yes (laughs). I purchased a small Island off the east coast of Africa. Formerly known as Madagascar...

I thought Madagascar was a stupid name. So it's been offically renamed to "The-democratic-republic-of-the-almighty-Lord-Brad-and-his-army-of-models-and-his-giant turtle-and-no-fat-chicks" Or T.D.R.O.T.A.L.B.A.H.A.O.M.A.H.G.T.A.N.F.C for short.

My house is under construction as we speak. It's a small place just off the coast...

It has a small army of 1,200,000 people. Just for my protection.

Oh. Great one, I do not feel worthy to be in your presence!

BH: That's fine mortal. No one on this Earth is....

 

[Evolution.]

Allman sues Horton for stealing images

Jarrett Allman is currently suing FIA driver Brad Horton for stealing this image:

Of Allman and claiming it to be himself. He has also made false claims of having a mansion complete with an army of 1,200,000 people. This is not true. He currently lives in a Section 8 apartment, owned by Jarrett Allman.

 

[Casio]

Allman finds his wife

Allman quickly apologized to Horton for his false accusations of him. Horton accepted his apology and went back to his 19 wives.

 

[no1rc3ur]

Same here, I fear Owens might not be active anymore either.

If they don't appear in the French GP practice or warm up, I'll OPEN their seats for next season.

if they aren't playing
can I switch team?

 

[Sting]

jesus, looks like my Renault season is going downhil......

 

[Lee]

Allman finds his wife

Allman quickly apologized to Horton for his false accusations of him. Horton accepted his apology and went back to his 19 wives.

I'm docking you points just because you made me throw up my lunch.

if they aren't playing
can I switch team?

Hmmmmmm well yeah I suppose but the same will happen to you as would to Blake if he joins Renault, you will loose all your points this season.

Up to you though, is it worth it?

 

[DQuaN]

But the same will happen to you as would to Blake if he joins Renault.

Which he won't.

 

[Sting]

lol gotta love how Dunc stamps down his authoritah!

As for the Renault team, its time we got some good results for both cars. lol

 

[Lee]

After all that's happened over the past.... Day... It just had to happen:

ONEPOUND MOVIES proudly presents a film by JORDAN, GTPLANET FORMULA 1 CHAMPIONSHIP.
Starring: LEE DAVIDSON, JEF BEYENS, BLAKE HASWELL, DUNCAN HUTCHISON, BRAD HORTON and ASHLEY BUTLER.
On Set Chef: Marc Pianelli, Resident Asian Guy: Yuuji Kawasie, Close But No Cigar: Simon Trendell, Man of Mystery: Nathan Soyfu. ​

 

[Casio]

👍

That's great! Now, someone can make some fancy flash animation to make it happen!

Oh. Check out those practice times. Is that a Midland in front by 0.6? Hell, my teammate hasn't even run yet.

 

[Lee]

Oh god someone must have the program to make one! I will pay anyone to make one!

 

[Sting]

Close But No Cigar: Simon Trendell,

LMAO!!!!! How fitting. lol
I would que up on opening night to see that film. lol

 

[Lee]

Right seeing as Omnis has been replaced by a bot, his Honda seat for next season is officially open:

Current S4 line up:

(Italic = Current Driver, Bold = Confirmed Driver, OPEN = No Driver)

Renault:
Jef Beyens/Nico Rosberg
Duncan Hutchison

McLaren:
Herman Chang
Lee Davidson/Mark Webber

Ferrari:
Simon Trendell
Ashley Butler

Toyota:
Appie Charkaoui
Dan Graham

Williams:
Lloyd Ramos
Steve Travis

Honda:
Brad Horton
Blake Haswell

Red Bull:
ls2_297 (Needs Driver Name)
Scott Speed

BMW:
Yuuji Kawasie
Jarrett Allman

Midland:
OPEN
Chris Taylor

Toro Rosso:
OPEN
Michael-GT (Needs Driver Name)

Super Aguri:
Brett Edwards
OPEN

 

[Casio]

I'll take the Honda spot if someone wants my Midland seat. (Who is above Honda at the moment *cough*)

 

[DQuaN]

OOOOhh, look Jef, there is a spot in the bed next to Blake. He's patting the covers. You gonna jump in?

 

[Lee]

I'll take the Honda spot if someone wants my Midland seat. (Who is above Honda at the moment *cough*)

Right sod it, I wont take away points if people want to move from their confirmed places, but they can only do it once.

Sure you want to move to Honda Brad?

 

[Impreza04]

Close But No Cigar: Simon Trendell

God damn you..

I have the program to make a flash movie, I just suck at it.

Maybe a comic strip should be made instead

 

[Lee]

Maybe a mickey take of "Bambers View" from Autosport.

 

[Sting]

or stickmen. lol

 

[Studentdriver]

This looks pretty interesting...sign me up for the Red Bull spot for next season. I'll be Scott Speed, yay Americans! (hopefully without the temper though). When will it start?

P.S. - No guarantees on my abilities. Haha, like Scott Speed!

 

[Lee]

Hah that's interesting, I wonder what it would be like if we all used real F1 driver names...

Kimi at Ferrari? Or Renault... Or maybe even Honda...

I'll send you a PM when it kicks off.

 

[CardcaptorYoshi]

Y'know Bee, I've always wondered...how can you tell when your teammate is a bot? Because my teammates in other series are always AWOL or maybe just really shy so I can't get any practice in with them. My only guess would be that they always practice on dry tires (given Pianelli's bot did so in wet conditions), but I'm not sure.

 

[Lee]

Y'know Bee, I've always wondered...how can you tell when your teammate is a bot? Because my teammates in other series are always AWOL or maybe just really shy so I can't get any practice in with them. My only guess would be that they always practice on dry tires (given Pianelli's bot did so in wet conditions), but I'm not sure.

You'll know they are bots when they practice but their laps don't come up on the time table of recent laps on the car set up page. You have to be quick though.

 

[Sting]

Hah that's interesting, I wonder what it would be like if we all used real F1 driver names...

Kimi at Ferrari? Or Renault... Or maybe even Honda...

I'll send you a PM when it kicks off.

If we are gonna use real names I bag Nico Rosberg. lol

I wonder who would be Sato.... blatently Simon would. lol

 

[Lee]

If we are gonna use real names I bag Nico Rosberg. lol

I wonder who would be Sato.... blatently Simon would. lol

I could see Simon as Kimi...

If we are, I'll be Webber.

 

[Evolution.]

Allman sues Horton

FIA Driver Jarrett Allman is now suing FIA driver Brad Horton for defamation of character and slander. The fines could add up to $450,000 and a loss of 30 points if Allman wins the suit. allman said if Horton is willing to apologize for his mistake, Lee Davidson will not be called into action to withdraw Horton from the points standings this season.

In other news, Allman is now happily married to Vida Guerra.

A picture from their honeymoon at the beach is included here:

Allman's only comment was "Eat that Brad, you selfish whore."


(Edit: If we go with real names, I call Schumy or Coulthard )

 

[Impreza04]

I wonder who would be Sato.... blatently Simon would. lol

pfft.. With recent events, I think Ashley would be more suiting as Sato 💡

 

[Lee]

Davidson Dropped, Webber In.

Lee Davidson has been dropped by the Honda Racing Formula 1 team. Their third driver Mark Webber has been brought in to fill the spot for now.

In a press conference Honda gave it's reason for the change:

Honda Racing F1 Team has dropped their lead driver Lee Davidson after disputes about how the team is operated. Both parties decided not to continue with the contract. They wish Lee the best of luck in whatever he chooses to race in and thanks him for his work in the 2 and a half season he has raced here.

This has thrown the deal between Davidson and McLaren into concern, only time will tell if we will ever see Davidson on the grid again.

Beyens Sensationally Quits Renault

Jef Beyens has quit his contract with Renault we can exclusively reveal.

It's believe he fell out with the team over how they acted during the Hutchinson-Haswell arguement causing him to lose belief in the team and to ultimatley decide to leave.

"He did not understand the way the team worked with these situations and sadly decided to leave the team, he is a good driver and it's a shame to see him not driving this weekend." - Flavio Briatore.

Nico Rosberg will be brought in to replace him.

 

[CardcaptorYoshi]

Ooh ooh ooh I wanna be Ide!!

Nah...uh...I don't really think I'm close to anybody really off the top of my head. Can't say any of this year's F1 rookies are doing good. Webber might be a close fit for all the luck our team's been having though...

 

[DQuaN]

I'll be the new F1 sensation.......



Duncan Hutchison!