Niku and the mysterious case of the anti-Golfocus weapon
Welcome, gentleman. This story is not about the Ford Focus ST, the car that Mr. Mcclaren acquainted us to drive for week number 69 (insert sex joke here) of COTW. No, this is the story of a curious Russian, and his attempts at discovering a secret. A quaint secret, which I brough forth in order to show a car that could take on a Golf R and the Focus, and could beat both around the grounds of "America's Original Roadracing Circuit"; Willow Springs. I gave my clues, but at the same time, I tried my best to ensure that the secret would not be spoiled by a stray fact, which could give away all my hard work. No, he would not discover this so easily...
For this task, I also decided to hire a man. A certain man, who had experience in the toughest of battlefields:
Frank West. American journalist, and part of not one, but two zombie apocalypses. He knew what danger was firsthand, although this assignment wasn't as dangerous as fighting a horde of meat-hungry, braindead zombies. I told Frank my mission, covering all the facts up to this point.
"So, what should I look for, Hugo?"
"If you spot a black Pontiac around, approach its driver. He should be a Russian man, with a good knowledge of English."
"Got it. And then show him the pictures you gave me, correct? First the eye one..."
"And then show him the pair."
"Ok."
Sure enough, our guesses were correct.
"Check it out, Hugo. A Tempest GTO. And it's black, as you said. It has to be our little Russian friend,"
"I knew it. Sergey couldn't resist my little duck call, he just had to come to see for himself. Rather predictable move from him, but one that makes sense regardless. Frank? You know what to do."
"Alright, time to get busy."
And after these words, Frank approached the black GTO. The driver wound down his window, and spoke in clean English to Frank, with a surprised look on his face.
"And who would you be?"
"Name's Frank. Frank West. War journalist. I am also an aquaintace of Hugo's, he told me to show you something."
"How do you know about our little car game? ...Ah, right, Hugo must have told you about it. Fine, show me what you got there."
Frank gave the Russian a picture, while keeping another hidden in his hands. As Sergey stared dumbfounded at the picture, all he could spurt out was:
"What is this!? Is this supposed to be a joke!?"
"No, this is... Hugo's own way to tell you to make a better use of your eyes. The real thing is coming soon enough."
Then, a screaming noise edged closer and closer to both men. Sergey turned his head towards the oncoming car, and could only stare in disbelief at it.
"Haha... Bastard got me good, real good. All the cars I tested... But I never came close to touching that one."
Frank then handed Sergey the second picture; the pair Hugo had mentioned. The eye, and the real answer...
Mazda RX-8 Type S. Codename: Ren. And for fun, my personal Mazda LM55. Codename: Kodo 55
Yes, the answer was none other than Mazda's prideful coupe; the RX-8. You may be wondering, and shouting "Oi, that's not a hatchback! How does that relate to the Focus!?" In more ways than one, actually.
Look at it. How many doors you see there? Four. (Suicide-style doors, no less) It has a decent boot, which adds to the practical aspect of it. At 429 PPs, the RX-8 lies on the same level of both the Golf and the Focus. And then the ultimate irony; the fact that Mazda built it. Isn't it funny that the brand that Ford dumped like a random girlfriend created the same car that embarassed their sporty modern Focus? Mazda got left for dead, and then promptly created cars such as the new 2, 6 and the new MX-5; living proofs that natural aspiration and simple yet effectively fun driving aren't ready to drop the towel just yet.
But why is the RX-8 faster than the hatchback pair? Much like the Lexus IS, it boils down to two letters; FR. But in the Rotary's case, it's even more than that. It's the case of the Jinba Ittai principle at work; balance above everything else. Yes, the Renesis engine may lack horsepower against the turbo-fed engines of the Focus/Golf duo, but what it lacks in might is more than compensated by a poise that neither can match when it comes to handling. On one hand, the stability of the FF system in the Focus and the 4WD of the Golf are decent enough, but such behaviour pays a cost in the form of understeer. Even the Golf, a car that resorts to the 4Motion system, is still geared as a front wheel drive car when it comes to weight. Not the RX-8; the weight balance only stops at a picture-perfect 50-50 ratio. 50-50. And it shows, because when you face a corner, Mazda's suicide door-ladden car regains composed even with Confort tires. And if the rear does feel like going a different way, it's easy to catch it back again and keep the car straight as an arrow. Then comes Mr. Felix Wankel.
Ok, you can complain that the Renesis engine is rather gutless compared to the epic power of its ancestor, but you can't argue against a strong power delivery. If you let the car soar past the 9000 RPM mark and then shift, you will always have power on tap. Lack of torque? A minor blemish. When you have a gearbox that actually works, you can just sit back and relish on the sharpness of one of the finest 4-door coupes in history. And a time of 1:33 minutes in Willow Springs, the time that defeated both the Focus and the Golf, is more than enough confirmation of the Mazda's ability to impress its driver. It may be old, but it isn't by any means flacid. The only sour point of the RX-8 is the fact that Mazda itself had to kill it, thanks to the Euro V laws. I get the sneaky suspicion that the only premise of this "ecological" law was to kill great engines. The Renesis, Alfa Romeo's V6, the VTEC dynasty... Thanks for nothing, Europe, it's not like I loved those engines (and the cars they belonged to) or anything, by all means try to save the trees that will eventually be cut by heartless businessmen anyways.
In the end, Sergey couldn't quite nail my no-longer-secret guess. He forgot one thing; when I told him that he was close, I didn't tell him how close he was. There was no need to amp up the PP limit, you just needed to look closer at the one you had in the first place. He shook his head from side to side in a downwards angle, and then shook my hand. He knew he had lost this battle of wits, but I was a true gentleman. Giving him the Mazda's keys was the least I could do to compensate for a missed shot. Now, both me and Frank saw from the pitlane area of Willow Springs, a red screaming beast that continues to prove why we lot pick so many Japanese cars...
Because we know they are good.
THE END.
Here's your answer, at long last, @CSMDuty11.
