-McClarenDesign's-
Very Serious SLS AMG Review of the Car of the Week N Stuff
"What is power without control?" -Keiichi Tsuchiya
Week 9: 1985 Lancia Delta S4 Rally Car
Over the past few weeks, I've been fortunate enough to survive cars possessed by demons and a run in with the mafia. We've entertained supermodels, allegedly transported narcotics, offended the entire nation of Germany... twice, and have been around a track with the Japanese equivalent of God.
So it comes as no surprise, then, that our journalistic integrity has recently come into question. Some ask how we can accurately critique cars loaded with cocaine, while others debate and criticize the data we've acquired because of the less-than-spectacular drivers we've hired. From wankers to Craigslist, tossers to clergy, we've put them all behind the wheel in the hopes of accurately measuring a car's worth.
To set the record straight, this week we'll have none of that. This week we've promised an actual, fact-based car review of a bonafide legend. There will be no shenanigans, no tomfoolery. And to prove our point, we've been given the car that killed Group B, the Lancia Delta S4.
In 1986, Group B rallying was more popular than Formula 1. Millions tuned in to watch racers throughout Europe fling their bonkers cars around the tightest of turns, and in some of the most eclectic of conditions. One moment you may find them flying down a stretch of tarmac, the next plowing through the snow.
The appeal of Group B came from the innovation. Other series of the times were restrictive of what could and could not be done with a car, whereas Group B offered more freedom. Space-age materials such as kevlar frequently found their ways into the cars, as did forced induction. Over the 5 years of Group B, the horsepower on tap doubled, producing unbelievably fast cars meant to cross anything in their path as quickly as possible.
Often times, this included the crowd. Or the edge of a mountain.
In fact, the competitive nature of the sport is often blamed for its undoing. What do you expect to happen when you infuse enough money to air condition Hell into a sport? Because of the phenomenal cosmic power in such an itty-bitty living space, cars were frequently difficult to control. The knife edge of performance proving a tricky thing to balance. Get it right, and you're a god among men. Get it wrong, and you're dead.
According to Polyphony Digital via Translator-san:
Translator-san
The Delta S4, introduced in autumn of 1985, was the ultimate Group B machine. At first glance it appears to be a Lancia Delta, but the inside of this machine was nothing like the production car, and more like an "F1 road car".
The steel-pipe space frame chassis is mounted with body panels made of lightweight materials such as carbon and kevlar. The weight of the road version is 960 kg, which is unnaturally light weight for a 4WD machine.
Behind the driver's seat is the DOHC 16 valve inline 4 engine mounted in a midship layout, which was highly tuned by Abarth. While the displacement is merely 1759 cc, it is combined with a supercharger and turbocharger. For this reason it can furnish unhesitating power from low to high rpm, and with its boost pressure set to 2.5Bar, the maximum output is 450 HP and maximum torque exceeds 332.7 ft-lb. This astonishing power is transmitted to the full time 4WD system through a 5-speed manual transmission.
Right after its debut, the Delta S4 dominated the 1st and 2nd place in the 1985 RAC Rally, and also showed its overwhelming power with a victory at Monte Carlo in 1986. However, the increased speeds due to the high power engines made the WRC and extremely risky sport, and there was a series of deaths caused by accidents involving spectators, breakdowns and crashes.
As a result, the FIA made a decision to hold the WRC in Group A after 1987. The Delta S4 lost its right to participate, and after only 200 road spec models and 20 Evoluzione competition models were made, its production was ceased.
On May 2, 1986,
Henri Toivonen and his co-pilot
Sergio Cresto lost their lives in this car. They were leading the Tour de Corse rally even though Henri had a touch of the flu. Despite his condition, Henri climbed into the car, and somehow lost control at one of the course's tight left-handers, plunging off the mountain. No corner workers or officials were on the scene when it happened, the only trace being a giant fireball followed closely by a growing cloud of thick grey smoke.
To get a better perspective of what it's like to put your life on the line, our producer has asked me to take the controls of this week's car, and I've agreed. After all, Toivonen has been compared to Senna, so to understand if I'm capable of their kind of speed, I need to be as committed as they were. To maximize performance is to accept that accidents and injury are likely to occur. It's the ultimate expression of the Samurai mentality- one cannot be afraid of dying if that person already accepts that he or she is already dead.
Also, apparently the insurance pays better on my death than some Tom, Dick or Harry. I say this, so that if something unfortunate actually happens, it'll be easier to prove motive should anyone question the circumstances behind my demise.
Producer
For the last time, I'm not trying to kill you!
Right.
Performance as Purchased: December 1, 2010, White (
with stickers)
Displacement: 1,759 cc
Max. Power:
435 hp @ 8,000 rpm
Max. Torque:
322 ft-lbs. @ 5,000 rpm
Drivetrain: 4WD
Length: 3,990 mm Height: 1,360 mm Weight: 890 kg
Tires: Sports (Medium)
Performance Points:
555
Mileage: 0.0 mi.
Despite it's complete lack of mileage, my safety is worth at least some importance. Rally cars of the era required a team of engineers and mechanics to extract the maximum amount of performance, and having spared no expense, we had the same. Delivering the car from our garage was a former Lancia mechanic, although admittedly just a simple dealership technician, named Jean-Carlo.
As luck would have it, the Delta didn't require an engine rebuild, and the chassis was still straight as an arrow, fresh from the factory floor. A quick oil change netted an additional
22 hp,
16 torques, and
7 Performance Points. An astounding bargain compared to the expenses from our previous test cars. Add a wash, and we felt comfortable enough to spend the remainder of our budget on strippers. The best 300 Cr. we've ever spent.
For those keeping score at home, other notable data includes: Max. Power: 457 HP, Max. Torque: 338 ft-lb., Performance Points: 562, Cr. Left For Strippers: 250,200
To establish our baseline of performance, we once again visited our hallowed Super Secret Rally X test track. With the revs pegged against the limiter, which incidentally feels like it's somewhere near Jupiter, we launched to 60 mph in
0:02.934, and a
0:10.876 quarter. Vin Diesel, eat your
(expletive) heart out- that's
(expletive) fast! Much like an F1 car, it exploded off the line in such a manic pace! This car is absolutely mental!
For those keeping score at home, other notable data includes: 0-1 mi.: 0:28.664, 0-100 mph: 0.06.338, Max. G-Force: 1.17G, Top Speed: 156.4 mph
Where was this thing last week!? Had we a car like this, we'd also have a priest and a rabbi in the Mid Night Club, and a much better resume. The top speed was only limited by the gearing, which suits rally racing fine, but the combination of double forced-induction would've put those two into elite status.
Instead of a cell. And the morgue.
With initial testing out of the way, we felt it only fitting that we should host our own mini rally. Of course, when I say "we", I actually mean me, as even our photographers have refused to be near the track when I'm on it. Looking at the fine print of our health insurance policy, I'm not really sure I would either.
First up was the tight and twisty Principality of Monaco. Strapped in, the sheer madness of such acceleration is only equaled by the lunacy required to get a fast lap around this place. Here, the rule is: if you don't have a wall flying towards your face at 100 mph, you're still too slow. Passing on such a twisty track requires The Force, and I'm nowhere near a Jedi. I'm four hundredths short of falling under the
1:40s, and in desperate need of a new suit.
And a new seat.
During our laps at Monaco, Jean-Carlo was my co-pilot. Despite the obvious language barrier, I found that none of that mattered, as he was quickly turned into a sobbing little girl. Shrieks of terror threatened to drown out the engine on the straights, and the G-forces of the turns drenched my eyes with his tears. When we reached the pits, our young mechanic had developed a case of nausea, and grey hair.
Next stop: Madrid, Spain. With its extra straights, it's nice to stretch the legs of the Delta. Still, it's not long before another tight bend approaches, and I have to fight sheer panic just to make it through. Unlike racers of the era, I don't have people lining the streets, as they'd all be dead by now. With precise inputs and increasing horror, I manage to lay down a
1:27.896. The car is fast, but can easily be overwhelming. Jean-Carlo- still no help. I might as well have Helen Keller by my side. At least this time he's not crying.
At times, the movement of the car can be rather awkward and unsettling. Once you've got it sideways, there's no room for correction. You've got to have the samurai mentality- you're going to get hurt. Badly. I can't imagine what this would've been like while trying to avoid spectators, especially the ones that try to touch the car as it speeds by.
Fanatic.
Our producer chose Mt. Fusterkluc as our final stage. Reluctantly, I strapped myself snug into the seat, and launched the car towards my impending doom. It didn't take long, as only three turns in and I had managed to plow the car into the guardrail. I can't say I didn't see that one coming, which is sad considering I've had previous experience at this track.
Going into the third turn, I missed my braking point and couldn't recover. Paramedics quickly arrived on the scene, and thankfully I was mostly unharmed. Which is more than I can say for a few poor fellows that weren't quite so lucky. The car was designed with its fuel tanks directly underneath the driver, and enough kevlar surrounding it to complicate matters further. It's like wrapping a match in toilet paper.
Originally, we had set out to do a fact-based critique of a rally legend. The car that killed its driver, its co-pilot, and its class in motorsport. Perhaps Henri Toivonen wasn't the safest driver, but he was often cited as the only man who could tame the Delta S4. Without having seen it, I can only attest to my lack of ability, and I have the hospital bills to prove it.
Also, in a rather odd twist of events, what was once the cheapest test has now become our most expensive. We started with a meager 300 Cr. investment, and ended up with a million Credit liability. And who knows how much more the total will actually be, as I still have many more months left of rehabilitation and recovery.
So what is it about cars that makes me want to risk my life? How does someone like Wheldon, Senna, Toivonen, Ascari, Earnhardt or McRae justify what they did? Well, the fact of the matter is, I can't tell you...
...but I can
show you.
Week 1: 2001 Alfa Romeo Spider 3.0i V6 24V
Week 2: 1966 Alfa Romeo Spider 1600 Duetto
Week 3: 2000 Toyota Sprinter Trueno GT-APEX (S. Shigeno Ver.)
Week 4: 2007 Audi TT Coupe 3.2 Quattro
Week 5: 1983 Nissan Silvia 240RS (S110) and 1985 Nissan 240RS Rally Car
Week 6: 1973 BMW 2002 Turbo
Week 7: 2004 DMC DeLorean S2
Week 8: 1971 Nissan Fairlady 240ZG (HS30) and 1971 Nissan 240ZG (HS30)
*The views and opinions expressed in this editorial do not reflect the views and opinions of gtplanet.net, any of its members, nor anyone with an IQ above 3. All views, comments, statements, accusations, claims, data... you know what, just forget you read the whole thing and direct your hate mail/Tame Racing Driver applications to McClarenDesign@gmail.com. NOT FIT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION. The statements made above are similar to your parents; both are fictional. May cause rash or skin irritation. 
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GTKitty4Prez . Please consult doctor before use. Some assembly required. Wardrobe provided courtesy of Simpson. McClarenDesign registered very serious SLS AMG. DO NOT ATTEMPT. Consult manual before use. Your mileage may vary. Some restrictions may apply. All stunts performed on public roads without law enforcement supervision. Void where prohibited. All your base are belong to us. Offer not valid to those that breathe air. Some portions of this show have been filmed before a live studio audience.
Ed Note: R.I.P. Henri Toivonen (8/25/56 - 3/2/86), Sergio Cresto (1/19/56 - 5/2/86), and Ferdinand Alexander Porsche (12/11/35 - 4/5/12)
:tup:
