I must confess.....
I thought about creating my own thread but here will work just fine and though its only mostly a confession.... anyway.
So I work at an Auto Parts store and i hate my job. (I love the cars and the customers and the business, but I don't like my boss) also I have almost no hours at my job (12-14 a week) which makes it hard as hell to afford rent with the wife.
Now i am going to school, but i must confess I HATE BUSINESS! i am at Eastern Michigan for International Business, I did well in the classes but they were just so incredibly boring for me. Sp I have decided to follow my dream of becoming a mechanic. Not just any Mechanic, oh no. an Aviation mechanic! at the Michigan Institute of Aviation and Technology. Now my wife is currently taking classes at Ross Medical School for a pharmacy tech program and she doesn't want me to start school until she is finished. which is fine even if its next year.
until then my full time job is finding full time employment for more than 8 bucks an hour. i guess this is less of a confession and more of a rant... ah well. I have applied for over 30 jobs today alone using monster and career builder so i am hoping that this works out for me. MIAT doesn't want me to wait, BUT i need to work for a while so then I can go there.
My life is going well. and this can be the confession part what i say next....
I grew up in a good household. that is until I turned 14. My mom died when i was 10 days old and my dad was there, but in no position to be my full time caregiver. (he worked a terrific job that he had been at for over 25 years and made great money going to work at 4am and working till 3pm) his sister, my aunt, took me in and i grew up with her. when i was little she drank, but one drink a week, which changed soon. 1 became 2, which became 3, then when i was 16 she was drinking 2 glasses of Tequilla a night. (at first, one shot Tequilla, 3 shots of grapefruit juice, then soon the mix started to change) when Tequilla became to expensive she switched to Vodka. and soon it became a half gallon of Vodka every few days. Who suffered the most? well her husband at the time and I. They divorced in 02-03 and for me every little mistake was the end of the world. i was belittled for everything, told i will never amount to anything (didn't do to well in school) and that i will end up asking "do you want fries with that" for the rest of my life. Right now i know that any job is a good job, but it stuck with me, i felt like a failure, i was a failure. i hated myself, i was made to hate myself. i would build up my confidence and she would kick it to the curb where it would get run over by some asshat in a blue BMW (not really, but i needed an analogy) I met my now wife through mutual friends in 2002, we chatted online off and on until 2007 when we decided to try this dating thing. (many failed relationships later) and we clicked, i remember the first kiss, it was lightning in my body and mind. (We married in 2009.) my aunt hated this because it meant that i was going to be taken away from her, her supplier as it would seem (i had to go get her booze often because she was scared of the outside) Denise's mom lost her house to foreclosure and my aunt willingly allowed her to come live with us, but kicked us out less than 2 weeks later because i stood up for my fiancee when my aunt was ragging on her.
Since then we have lived on our own, and since then i have been trying to see therapists when i can to work through this, My aunt died October 30th 2011. Our wedding anniversary. (great time huh?) well one day she said she found a lump in her breast. she got it checked out about 3 years later and it was cancer, the worst kind, most aggressive. she still was a heavy alcoholic (now living with my grandpa in Tennessee because she lost her house too and he needed a live in babysitter) she never told the doc she was an alcoholic (they never do) and he operated on her, removed the tumor and she was in the clear. then the doc called back and said chemo because he may have missed a few branches of the cancer. the chemo combined with the alcohol shut down her liver, and she passed out on her bedroom floor. The hospital said she was the worst patient they had seen ever. her body temp was 82 degrees (very low) and her blood pressure was almost null. they got the temp up, but NIT the BP unless it was constant liquid meds, my dad gave the DNR (do not revive) on the day before she passed. Since then i never knew wither i should be sad she passed, or happy because of the way she treated me. after 2 years of therapy i finally am happy with myself, and with my life as is. I have mourned her death and spread her ashes. i finally feel free of her and i can move on with my life.
Long confession i know, but i needed to talk about it. i am now working to better myself and my life. Though it is a slow go i have begun to understand that i need to appreciate the small things in life and be happy for what i have and not what i dont have. Thank you for reading and i completely understand if you all TL;DR but those who do read, thank you. I am finally finding peace within myself and my family.
Btw if you need a car, come to Ann Arbor Fiat, i am applying there to sell you a car! i want the job and you need a good reliable car!
... I only know the Great Dane (from Scooby Doo 
), but just one dog, even a small one, is more than enough for me. The odd thing is, my grandparents had a dog - a Scottish collie - many years ago - also after I developed the phobia - which I wasn't afraid of, but it was old, however.
