For some reason, I have been through a number of events that have had a long term effect on me. I then worry about these things and think about them constantly.
You hear 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger' all the time. It's true. All the struggles that you go through build up your character, help you learn and give you better judgement in the future. You can choose psychologically to let these events get you down, or use them as a learning experience to find out more about yourself.
It's easier said than done, but if you get into the mental rhythm of turning a positive into a negative, you'd be amazed and how it affects you every day and the interactions you have with people and events around you in the future. Work hard at it, it's worth it.
I pretty much beat myself down to nothing every day and that leads to self harm and self starvation kind of. Not much helps me get my mind off of it and not much makes me happy.
See above. Also, it might be useful to try and get to the root of the problem. Everything you're feeling can be traced back to one time, the tipping point. Try and find some peace with it.
Though there is this girl I met that has made me happier than ever, but her and I are going through a rough spot right now.
Temporary. I don't know how old you are, but I'm guessing
not very is the answer. She might make you feel awesome, but she's most certainly not going to be the last. Let it run it's own course, if it works out, it works out. If not, it's not the end of the world. Either way, don't be someone who only values themselves in a relationship. It's not good for the self-esteem and you're denying yourself the chance to be freakin' awesome.
I am surrounded by negativity and I have no one to talk to about this.
Could you elaborate on this? Everyone has their own problems to go through and sometimes it seems like everyone around you is bringing you down. If you've had these thoughts and feelings and not told anyone, how many of these people have had the same thoughts?
You are 100% and completely
not alone. Go to your school library and pull out the biographies of 10 people that inspire you. Then go through and find out how many of them have suffered depression at one point or other.
It's one of these things where, having it makes you feel so isolated and alone, when it's not the case. It alters your perception of life, you start seeing people distancing themselves because you feel like you can't handle things on your own, when the reality is that you don't feel like you can ask for the help you need. It's not uncommon and it's not a criticism, it happens.
If I ever try to talk to a friend who I trust enough to tell this kind of stuff, they get pissed and accuse me of doing it for attention, which is not why I do it.
I think this says more about the friends you keep than about you. You shouldn't have to justify yourself to having help, and you should expect people to care when you need it. If this is honestly how they react to it, I'd straight-up suggest you get new friends. If they're talking to you like this then they're most likely part of the problem, not the solution.
One of the key bits of advice I would offer is to find out what clubs and societies your school has, and join a couple if you haven't already. It would be great for you to meet new people with similar interests. It's not like you need to drop your 'friends' straight away, but adding more could bring an unexpected bit of sunshine into your life.
I would tell my parents but they would just get mad and not help me at all. My mom saw one of my cuts a few days ago and got INSANELY mad and alarmed, I told her I didn't do it, but she still wonders. I can't go to them about it.
If your mother got 'mad and alarmed', it's for your safety. If she honestly didn't give a damn, she wouldn't have reacted. If she suspects you're hurting yourself, of course she'll be upset, what parent wouldn't?
I can't make you be honest with them, but I can strongly advise it. Perhaps the reason you feel so isolated isn't because you
feel that they won't help, maybe it's because you don't tell them! How can they help fix something if they don't know about it? A parent's natural instinct is to help their children. Once the shock dies down, they'll do what they can and support you when you need it.
Depression plays tricks on the mind, and never feel like your parents will treat you differently.
This right here is a good outline of how to go about it. It's primarily a kids website but the way they approach this is good general advice about it.
I would go to a counselor but they would tell my parents... so I can't do that.
You could however, have a meeting with the counselor to discuss your privacy concerns. They will only inform your parents if
it is for your benefit. At the end of the day, your health and safety is at stake.
What you can do however (you have to be 18 in the UK, not sure about elsewhere concerning privacy laws) is go to your doctor or GP. They're confidential, and a rather excellent resource for information and non-judgemental help. Everyone seems to forget to go to their doctor with mental health issues. I'd definitely recommend checking yourself in for a chat and see what they suggest.
I am almost at the point where I just want to give up and die.
Please don't.
I know you probably won't see it this way, but suicide is extremely selfish. There are a lot of people in your life whether you know it or not, who love you and care for you, and taking your own life leaves massive, unfillable gaps in those around you.
Suicide is never a solution, especially at your age. When everything seems to be getting on top of you, prove yourself. Prove that this isn't it for you. Prove that you have fight in you. Prove that you're made of strong stuff and for the love of God prove that you're here.
Another thing, I am bisexual and have not been able to tell anyone at all.
Been there. You don't necessarily have to tell anyone in school (I didn't), but some people choose to. It's one of these things that really shows up who your friends are.
From experience, I advise waiting until college level before you go public.
I told a super close friend of mine, but someone overheard us and told everyone at my school and I nearly got beat up for it (my school is full of homophobes).
Kids are mean. It's what they do. There's such a kind of rush to fit in at school. There's the mentality of 'if you don't fit in quickly, you'll be left out'. That's why kids are so quick with labels. It separates people.
Well y'know what? Some people can't be labelled. You owe it to yourself to be happy, and before you know it you'll be out of that place, leaving all the negativity behind you. And you'll move on to bigger, better and brighter things.
Try to find people who can support you for being you. Sometimes people are scared to befriend people for fear of being seen as out of their social group and role. Not everyone though. Not the good people. Find those ones.
One girl, instead of saying anything to me about it, actually stole my ex boyfriend from me.
Did you tell the police?
But seriously, if he was that easily 'won' from you, do you really want him anyway? You'd be spending half the time wondering who they're going around with while you're not there. And she has proved herself to be classless, so to be quite honest, good riddance to the pair of them. Life's short. Too short to be messing around with people like that.
I don't get it. Why can't I be who I am? Why do people judge me and hurt me for being myself?
Life's a mystery. You don't
really find out who you truly are until after school any way, so don't rush it. It'll come to you. Take what's happened to you. Use it. Grow from it and prove to the people who put you down that you're better than that. Show them you're not bitter, and that you have the maturity to get on with your life not in spite of them, but because of them.
You are unequivocally not alone. There are hundreds of resources at your fingertips, and speaking to people who have gone through similar periods (note that it's periods, this isn't permanent I promise you) would be an excellent way to help you begin to deal with it. Countering depression is a slow process, I'm not going to lie to you. But find supportive friends, try if you feel up to it, to let your parents in a little bit (maybe start with the depression and feelings, then after that's sunk in you could discuss the harming whilst keeping it non-judgemental).
Another option would be to keep a journal. Write down your thoughts and feelings at the end of each day. It seems like such a simple thing, but it can be invaluable. It's a private place where you can document how you're feeling, and see your progress. Many people do this when they feel like they have no-one they can talk to and it's a good creative outlet for you and it'll give you a good indication of what brings you down and what picks you up, to help you focus on the positives in your life.
On top of this, make sure you're getting enough sleep. Another obvious point (I'm full of them!) but a good night's sleep works wonders.
Some resources I'mma throw at you:
Mental Health America: Has loads of information and articles about the holistic elements, everything around the depression such as bullying and anxiety.
AACAP: Same as above, but another viewpoint.
National Network of Depression Centers: I don't know where you live, I've just been presuming it's the US. On here there's loads of information for dealing with the symptoms of depression, as well as a network of centers that are specifically designed to help people in cases like yours. Definitely worth a look.
Moodjuice: A self-help guide. I'd recommended seeking more professional help, but this might help give you a better understanding of what basis you're starting the recovery process from.
National Institute of Mental Health: The biggie. Loads of information and a
crisis page for when you're feeling at your lowest.
Never feel like you're doing this on your own, because you're not. There's entire networks of people out there who've felt exactly the same as you, that give a damn about you. Who you choose to listen to and more importantly, speak to, will help start you on the road to getting your life back from what often feels crippling. Don't let it be. Fight back.
Wishing you the best of luck. If you do find yourself in need of more help, feel free to drop me a PM.
My uncle had a JVC just like in your picture, 30 bucks seems like a steal!
I too forget sometimes but I tell my parents a few days later. Better late then never right? 
