Depression and Anxiety Thread

Discussion in 'The Rumble Strip' started by JohnBM01, Mar 24, 2004.

  1. phillkillv2

    phillkillv2

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    No, I’m am/was a university student. I have to pay off a couple thousand’s worth of tuition.
     
  2. HenrySwanson

    HenrySwanson

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    What do you think is stopping you getting help for the PTSD?
     
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  3. phillkillv2

    phillkillv2

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    I stopped looking because I wasn’t getting call backs from anyone.

    I’m going to start looking again soon, I’m just in a rut. Also, I don’t want medication, I’ve gained weight from taking it back in 2018. I’m going to look into the more therapeutic side of things.

    I feel like I have a pretty strong willpower, I just need to put a few bits of the puzzle together with someone who can help me understand, further, why I am who I am.
     
  4. JohnBM01

    JohnBM01 Premium

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    If you suffer from depression this time of year and with such limited light, be sure to have some light therapy. Holidays time can be stressing to begin with. You all take care of yourselves and be well nonetheless.

    And of course... DON'T let depression win.
     
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  5. GTboyz

    GTboyz

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    Wanting to go to a GP and talk about having "thoughts", but it feels awkward just imagining being in the office and saying you have problems with your mind. Also I don't know how to tell my parents about this, since it's useless even telling them about my anxiety.

    I mean I'm not exactly suicidal but I'm just super tired all the time, add anger problems and growing anxiety to that, nearing the end of the year, I'm actually starting to worry about myself.
     
  6. HenrySwanson

    HenrySwanson

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    I know it seems like it will be awkward but GPs have been trained in mental health issues and it accounts for a large percentage of reasons for a visit so they won't be lacking in experience.

    You may even get a referral to a psychiatrist/psychologist out of the consultation.
     
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  7. GTboyz

    GTboyz

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    Okay I'll try, thank you.
     
  8. JohnBM01

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    Simply put... just take advantage of any sort of help you can have available to you. Best to give yourself a chance rather than hold in your emotions to where they slowly eat you alive.
     
  9. Michael88

    Michael88

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    Has anyone ever experienced falling out of love with friends and family all of a sudden for no apparent reason?

    Over the past 8 months or so I lost all feelings for all my close friends and family - its not that I dislike or hate them, I simply can't love them anymore even if I try hard. Said people have done me no wrong or done things I dislike that could serve as a catalyst, in fact they are caring and nice and I've never really had any serious problems with any of them.

    Its just I don't really care about their struggle anymore, I don't feel like I should help them, I don't want to have them around, I'm not interested in what they have to say, I try to avoid conversations or cut them short, I don't want to do any activities with them anymore and I don't want any help either.

    The only thing I feel is guilt and confusion for feeling that way, but I really cannot help it. Right now I'm doing my best to cover it up to avoid problematic conversations I don't need in my life, the problem is I've always been bad in hiding my feelings and I have already been asked why I'm so distanced lately, some say my character has changed a lot and they asked me if I was ok.
    My usual reply is that I'm alright, just tired and overworked, but that only works so long.

    First I thought its just something temporary, but there is no sign of it getting any better so far and its already been many months now. And its not something that slowly developed, if I remember correctly it happened inside a week or so.

    Has anyone else experienced this? As for my life, its so-so right now, not so great, I am not happy by any means but I feel only ''moderately'' depressed, nothing serious, stress is also at moderate levels, pretty normal for a normal modern human being I'd say.
     
  10. W3HS

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    @Michael88, I’ve felt that feeling before, but I couldn’t explain why. It’s just one of those things.

    I’ve been steadily depressed, although, functioning for a while now. Not sure how long I can continue until alcoholism turns me into a non functioning person.

    Sunday I spent the whole day considering the best way to end it. I’m not particularly sad, melancholic or distraught, I’m just numb. It’s only really after a drink that I feel anything and that just causes more depression once withdrawal sets in. A vicious cycle.

    I haven’t spoken to anyone yet, not sure if my medication has stopped working or if this is just something I can get through like it has been before, but the end of a rope has never looked so tempting.
     
  11. MatskiMonk

    MatskiMonk

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    I had a similar issue to be honest. It wasn't the first time I'd spoken to my doctor about how I felt - the first time I only spoke about the consequences, the second time, I tried to talk about why... I felt so stupid I knew that I'd clam up and not be honest once I was sat there in his office, so I basically wrote it down. Kept it, to a few paragraphs, and just gave it to him to read. That way you can think about how you say things, and it means you don't forget to say stuff.

    Just an observation, but I don't see why suicide would be the next step from feeling numb. I guess it depends what you mean by numb, if you mean inescapable despair then I guess I understand, but just not feeling anything... I don't understand why that leads you to thoughts of suicide?
     
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  12. Michael88

    Michael88

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    If you feel numb and you are not in mental or physical pain there is no reason to end it, as you are not ending suffering.
    Feeling numb might be the first indication of things getting better, you don't go from super depressed to super happy - unless you are severely bipolar.

    Also, if you are sitting around considering ways to make dumb things you should stop sitting around and do something, move your butt for once. Just a walk would be better, go to the gym, start a new hobby, something crazy and totally new. Just do it. Idleness is the devils playground is a saying which is oh so true. Idleness and boredom destroys the most vital spirit.
     
  13. W3HS

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    There’s no step from one to the other for me, suicidal thoughts have been an issue for me even when I’ve been in a “well” state of mind.

    Neither do I, but I know that alcohol withdrawal plays a major role in leading me down that mental path, but I don’t have the energy to go into that problem in itself because I feel like a broken record. And I’m sure you are aware of how rough withdrawal is.

    What really crosses my mind more that anything is that it only takes one thought to prevail for long enough to go through with it and then it’s done. No comebacks, no second chances, just that mood takes over and if I can’t talk myself down, as I’ve been able to do so far, it’s game over.

    For years I’ve idolised rock stars who’s music I’ve enjoyed and it got me on this chain of thought. Chris Cornell, for example, was doing ok, battling depression, yeah, but working, being a family man and all that. Then one day that desire to end it became so over powering he goes and tops himself and then that’s it. That one moment of weakness when the will to live ebbs away and the only option is death. A frequent, fleeting compulsion throughout life for some of us that always manage to shake it off... except it only takes one time...

    I’m far from inactive. My work keeps me busy and I get (relative) satisfaction from it, home life is kinda dull but no worse than your average Joe, I exercise daily, maintain hobbies and travel at weekends. The only real illness I have is alcoholism (other than manic depression) which leads me to conclude that I’m not afflicted with life problems like some folk; unmanageable debt, abusive relationships, dead end job, etc. I got things pretty sweet other than the fact that I have a taste for poison and and brain chemistry is out of whack.

    I must say, I feel pretty good today (manic almost), despite getting a pretty crap review at work yesterday and being burnt out from overworking myself, but tomorrow could be entirely different and I could lean towards a bottle of sleeping pills and a hip of the hard stuff.
     
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  14. Dotini

    Dotini Premium

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    I do not suffer from depression, headaches or colds. (this is true) But sometimes I think I might cause them. (joke, good or bad?)

    Anyway, I post this 9 min vid of a celebrated but controversial clinical therapist making a few remarks on depression. What do you think? I think he's at least entertaining, but then again I know nothing of depression.

     
  15. kikie

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    Dr. Joe Dispenza.




    Gregg Braden.

     
  16. JohnBM01

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    Psst... I don't know if you realize it or not, but it's a new year! Even if the previous year was a totally lost cause, be positive in that the new year can provide happiness and hope. It's tough to maintain a positive mindset. However, you have to at least try. Maybe you need to have someone along your side to help you if you are suffering from some sort of depression or know someone who is battling depression. So I just wanted to pop in here and hope for the best for all of you with whatever depression adventures you or someone else may be experiencing.

    I wish you all the best for 2020. Don't let depression win.
     
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  17. the_greeze

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    *deleted*
     
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2020
  18. phillkillv2

    phillkillv2

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    I've just been working and playing Xbox for the past weeks.

    I'm trying to save up for school, but I keep having a doubt that I won't make it back in the time I chose. I'm not stressed, but annoyed that its taken so long to find proper work.

    Regardless, I'll be back there soon. I applied for another job in SF that will help me cover my rent.

    What is really hurting me is that I have no one to talk to. The only people I talk to are my customers from time to time, and there's only so much I can say to them.

    None of the people I had in my life in 2017-2019 are here. I had to move on for myself. This has left me with a feeling that most friendships are relationships are pointless, as they will always come to an end. I also feel like I ****ed everything up despite these individuals not being the best to me.

    I’m in a funk. I plan to start going to the gym in the next two weeks, so hopefully cutting weight will give me more energy and get my body feeling stronger.

    I need out of this rut.

    You're been on this thread since you made it... Kind of insane.
     
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  19. phillkillv2

    phillkillv2

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    Hmm, I just erased the majority of my Facebook "friends" and messenger chats, to the point that it's twenty people, primarily family. I tried justifying by saying that I have no business knowing what's in their life, and they don't have any business knowing what's going on in mine.

    It was hard doing this because it confirmed that the idea in my head that most of the people I knew, relationships, etc, were all for nothing.

    I understand that we all grow up and move on, but I even had these feelings while knowing the majority of these people.

    Right now, I'm so ****ing depressed at my current position in life, as well as condition, that I just want to get on a plane and disappear for a month. No phone calls, no reception, just being by myself in a foreign place.

    It's not loneliness that I inherently feel, it's that I feel like I can't hold onto anything, not even family. Can't even bring myself to send my brother a letter or give my sister a call hello, or even send close friends a message asking how they are doing.

    They even commented on how they were trying to contact me and I told them that I would be around when I need to be around, or that they knew where to find me.

    Some would suggest rediscovery of one's self, but I know what I want to do, it's just difficult for me to do the job with all this **** and static floating around.

    I'm going to research more flights, I think it's something I need to do.
     
  20. JohnBM01

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    Even sometimes, I tend to forget I started this thread, not to mention starting it so early in my time on GTPlanet. Anyhow, I can very much understand what you are going through. A lot of us tend to fall into a situation where "addition by subtraction" is a good method for helping us feel better about ourselves and life. However you plan on trying to get yourself back to a happier state, good luck to you, phillkillv2.
     
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  21. JohnBM01

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    Back on January 15, I celebrated my birthday. Some people around the time of their birthday have what we call the "birthday blues." It is where some people tend to get depressed around the time their birthday comes. Normally one would think birthdays are supposed to be fun and festive. You know- celebrate another year of existence. To some, though, people tend to get anxious or depressed about celebrating another year of one's life. Some reasons for the "birthday blues" is because of looking back on one's life and being disappointed in some senses, and even just feeling like one has lived long enough and unsure how much longer one will live. I didn't feel this way about my most recent birthday, but some do feel depressed for whatever reason on or near one's birthday. If this is you, enjoy your new age and don't feel bad in the least sense while your birthday is ongoing.

    I hope you all stay strong! Don't let depression win.
     
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  22. W3HS

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    Happy belated birthday. Coincidentally, that was also the birthday of current depart emend director (and former lover), who, since this is the depression thread, royally ****ed up my life about this time 2 years ago.

    Anyhow, despite the meds and booze working against each other and more serious blackout psychotic episodes after a certain intoxication level, I’m still drinking just to feel.

    On Christmas Day my wife and I went for dinner and I got completely bladdered. I was on a real downer so I tied a rope around my neck and jumped of the balcony (10ft or so). Being so drunk I’d forget to tied the rope to anything and just landed in a heap in the vegetable patch below. I didn’t find this out until a while after when my wife told me.

    I’m kind of ok being chronically depressed now. At least I know what I’m up against. Thankfully I still experience the manic periods when I’m on fire and life is a sweet as cake, but these low times, of which there are more, are slowly eating away at me.
     
  23. HenrySwanson

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    Maybe the meds need to be changed? Any attempt at suicide is serious and you should see someone ASAP
     
  24. JohnBM01

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    Absolutely, HenrySwanson. Suicide is serious. I still find it incredibly fascinating just how much clinical depression can really tear apart people. I always say we are all in the same fight against depression, so we should all look to try help each other out as much as we can, rather than compound others' issues. Deal with depression any way you can.
     
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  25. kikie

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    Everyone serious about his/her mental health and physical health as well should take a look at youtube clips from:

    • HeartMath
    • Gregg Braden
    • Joe Dispenza
    • Bruce Lipton
    Most important message HeartMath, Gregg and Joe have is heat/brain coherence. Also look up all the information you can find (Gregg Braden and HeartMath tell all about it) about our second brain which is located in the heart. Last Monday my psychiatrist confirmed that it is all true and she sends patients to therapists to learn the "Heart - brain coherence". She was very pleased that I found this information on my own and that I practice this kind of meditation.
     
  26. W3HS

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    I’d like to see your therapist deal with a chronic depressive alcoholic and put one in a box.
     
  27. JohnBM01

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    When it comes to being depressed, does it seem more like ineptitude of trying to love yourself or loving other people? You know, not many people can find the proper amount of loving support to deal with something like clinical depression. It sometimes is also the fact we can live in such an uncaring world. Not having any kind of support (or at least individuals we can trust) can also hinder trying to recover from being depressed. Also, some people tend to refuse help when some people clearly can use some assistance of some kind.

    I guess my issues of depression stem from having to look after myself instead of trying to get help from others. I was mostly taught to try to take care of problems myself instead of seek assistance. That's why I relied on friends of mine as well as counselors back in High School and college when I was down. It did not help for me to have to rely on myself mostly in these times, but that's the way I was raised. I would basically feel like I am a failure because I allow myself to be so weak at times. Simply put... if you can help yourself with your own issues, try to get over your depression as best as you can. If you can find people who can help you deal with depression, take full advantage. All of us are dealing with depression in one way or another. That's why I always say we're in the same fight and have to support each other to overcome depression. So let's use our collective energy to combat depression and move closer towards living the happier and healthier lives we all strive for in our lives.


    Don't let depression win.
     
  28. HenrySwanson

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    Today during class I found out The Samaritans can block a number.

    Must suck to be one of those individuals - my sympathies.
     
  29. kikie

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    Nope, wrong.
     
  30. Warruz

    Warruz

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    Exercise and meditation have absolutely saved me. It's really tough to make yourself do either of these things as it is, much less when you don't want to do anything but lay in bed all day, but once you break the inertia and gain momentum it becomes something to look forward to. The meditation helps me let go of negative thinking and the exercise seems to balance my brain chemically, not to mention increases my energy levels. I would recommend high intensity interval training as the most fast acting form of exercise when it comes to feeling better.
    I have spent about half of my life depressed, but now I feel like my happiness is something I can choose. I also know people who marijuana works like magic for. Prevents flashbacks, dulls anxiety, helps with depression, etc. I`m hoping to obtain 420 evaluations bakersfield for what feels like depression/anxiety.
     
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2020
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