heres a great scene from clerks:
----------------------------------------
RANDAL
Let me borrow your car.
87.
DANTE
I don't want to talk to you.
RANDAL
Fine. Just lend me your car.
DANTE
Why should I loan you my car?
RANDAL
I want to rent a movie.
DANTE
(pause)
You want to rent a movie.
DANTE walks away, shaking his head.
RANDAL
What's that for?
DANTE
You work in a video store!
They head back to the counter.
RANDAL
I work in a ****ty video store. I
want to go to a good video store so
I can rent a good movie.
CUSTOMER
Are you open?
DANTE AND RANDAL
(simultaneously)
YES!
The CUSTOMER comes to the counter.
CUSTOMER
Pack of cigarettes.
(pets cat)
Cute cat. What's its name?
RANDAL
Annoying Customer.
The CUSTOMER lets it sink in, and then leaves in a huff.
DANTE puts up cigarettes.
88.
DANTE
Can you imagine being halfway
decent to the customers at least
some of the time?
RANDAL
Let me borrow your car.
DANTE
(calmer)
May I be blunt with you?
RANDAL
If you must.
DANTE
We are employees of Quick Stop
Convenience and RST video,
respectively. As such, we have
certain responsibilities which-
though it may seem cruel and
unusual-does include manning our
posts until closing.
RANDAL
I see. So playing hockey and
attending wakes-these practices are
standard operating procedure.
DANTE
There's a difference. Those were
obligations. Obligations that could
not have been met at any later date.
Now renting videos-that's just
gratuitous, not to mention
illogical, considering you work in
a video store.
Another CUSTOMER leans in.
CUSTOMER
Are you open?
DANTE
(rolls his eyes)
Yes.
RANDAL
You know what? I don't think I care
for you rationale.
89.
DANTE
It's going to have to do for now,
considering that it's my car that's
up for request.
(to CUSTOMER)
Can I help you?
CUSTOMER
Pack of cigarettes.
RANDAL
What's your point?
DANTE
My point is that you're a clerk,
paid to do a job. You can't just do
anything you want while you're
working.
CUSTOMER
(reading tabloid)
"Space Alien Revealed as Head of
Time Warner; Reports Stock
Increase."
(to DANTE and RANDAL)
They print any kind of **** in
these papers.
DANTE
They certainly do. Two fifty-five.
RANDAL
So your argument is that title
dictates behavior?
DANTE
What?
RANDAL
The reasons you won't let me borrow
your care is because I have a title
and a job description, and I'm
supposed to follow it, right?
DANTE
Exactly.
CUSTOMER
(interjecting)
I saw one, one time, that said the
world was ending the next week.
(MORE)
90.
CUSTOMER (CONT'D)
Then in the next week's paper, they
said we were miraculously saved at
the zero hour by a Koala-fish
mutant bird. Crazy ****.
RANDAL
(eyes the CUSTOMER, annoyed)
So I'm no more responsible for my
own decisions while I'm here at
work than, say, the Death Squad
soldiers in Bosnia?
DANTE
That's stretching it. You're not
being asked to slay children or
anything.
RANDAL
Not yet.
(sips water)
CUSTOMER
(again with the interjections)
And I remember this one time the
damn paper said...
RANDAL spits a mist of water at the customer, drenching him.
The man reacts violently, attempting to grab RANDAL from
over the counter. RANDAL makes no move, but remains untouched.
DANTE plays block.
CUSTOMER
I'M GONNA BREAK YOUR ****ING HEAD!
YOU ****ING JERKOFF!
DANTE
Sir! Sir, I'm sorry! He didn't mean
it! He was trying to get me.
CUSTOMER
Well, he missed!
DANTE
I know. I'm sorry. Let me refund
your cigarette money, and we'll
call it even.
91.
CUSTOMER
(considerably calmer;
takes money)
This is the last time I ever come
here.
(to RANDAL)
And if I ever see you again, I'm
gonna break your ****ing head open!
The CUSTOMER leaves, wiping water from his face. RANDAL
salutes him.
DANTE
(angrily)
What the **** did you do that for?
RANDAL
Two reasons: one, I hate when the
people can't shut up about the
stupid tabloid headlines.
DANTE
Jesus!
RANDAL
And two, to make a point: title
does not dictate behavior.
DANTE
What?
RANDAL
If title dictated my behavior, as a
clerk serving the public, I wouldn't
be allowed to spit a mouthful of
water at that guy. But I did, so my
point is that people dictate their
own behavior. Hence, even though
I'm a clerk in this video store, I
choose to go rent videos at Big
Choice.
(extends opened palm)
Agreed?
DANTE
(shakes his head;
hands over keys)
You're a danger to both the dead
and the living.
RANDAL
I like to think I'm a master of my
own destiny.
92.
DANTE
Please, get the hell out of here.
RANDAL
I know I'm your hero.
RANDAL exits.
----------------------------------------
heh
