Going out with a girl

[TommyWizard]

Alrighty then. several years in the making, finally going to take a girl out tomorrow night for what I hope to be the start of a relationship!!

I would appreciate any advice on things to break the ice. Both of us are really shy, I had to wait until she was steaming drunk I was about to ask her out when she told me she liked me. Result.

Ice breakers are a defiantly appreciation and rewards bro fist over the internet.
Anything else like avoiding things / topics to keep away from (nothing too obvious here, not going to tell her how big my last turd was etc.)


I havent been this happy in a long long time, infact it was only the start of the month I posted my dogs death here so this really means a lot too me. the fact she is giving me a chance after 2 other chicks broke my heart and destroyed my soul. Should I praise her for the chance or what?


I really hope you guys can give me a few tips or ideas. Bro Love you's all.

 

[lbsf1]

Just stay calm, think before you speak.

http://www.disabled-world.com/communication/disabled-dating/advice/date-girl.php


There are millions of articles on this subject on google.

 

[Alex p.]

Try to stay cool, but still remind her sub-consciously all the time that you really like her.

Hey, she's shy, that's already a big help, take this "weakness" as an advantage for you.

Hope all the best!

 

[Horde_R35]

Just be yourself and everything will work out just fine! If it doesnt it wasnt meant to be!

 

[Alex p.]

Just be yourself and everything will work out just fine! If it doesnt it wasnt meant to be!

Yep, that's good.👍

 

[MadMike'86]

Smash her back doors in!

 

[MarinaDiamandis]

Ahh, young love.

First rule - Don't come across as TOO interested. Have 'intent' (she knows that you are interested, but doesn't know that you'll chase her). Intent can be shown by flirting (duhhh) and more specifically teasing and light touching. If thinking about doing it feels creepy, it will be.

Second rule - Don't talk about all the mundane stuff people usually talk about - the news, the weather, politics, blah blah blahhh.
SHE DOESN'T CARE! Ask her an open question and get her talking. Listen to her, good positive eye contact. Be interested.
Ask questions relating to what she just said, if you can ask another open question you're doing well, while she's talking give little indicators 'really?' 'that's crazy', etc.
When she asks you questions, be as vague as you can without being rude - Girls love thinking that they are working answers out of you by talking it out of you. Keep stuff secret, mystery is attractive.

Third Rule - If she makes a move, stop her GENTLY. Go back to talking, teasing her, etc. Then, when everything is settled again and you feel it's right, make YOUR move. You are the guy, you should be in control unless YOU say otherwise.

After all that being said, just chill out. She obviously is interested in you anyway, so changing too much will change what she likes about you. Just don't be a pushover! You don't need to pay for everything!

 

[Dennisch]

Just be yourself and everything will work out just fine! If it doesnt it wasnt meant to be!

This, nothing more, nothing less.

 

[oohhh yeah]

Alright listen carefully,

1) Don't spend more than $40

2) If you don't clap dem cheeks after the third date, move on (srs)

3) Remember to sit across from her not beside her at the table (I've sen guys sit beside her lol)

4) Remember, no white knighting. Most women who are with a white knight will cheat on him with a wild don't give a damn alpha.

 

[MarinaDiamandis]

4) Remember, no white knighting. Most women who are with a white knight will cheat on him with a wild don't give a damn alpha.

Chivalry is cool, being a doormat isn't. Holding doors, walking on the outside of the pavement/sidewalk, letting her have your jacket if she's cold 👍
Always paying, always complimenting, doing everything she says 👎

 

[Eric Demory]

Don't take it to the higher ground so quick. Even if she says she's wants to go to "that" level, just say "NO". Be above your country's legal age to have sex.

Don't kiss on the first date, wait until the second date to kiss. On the third date, you could start making out with her, but no funny business. Then after a few weeks or months when your relationship is getting serious, you can go to the next level. But only if you are old enough in your country to have sex. Then hopefully things go great for you two, and hope you get married above the legal marriage age.

 

[Aldo]

Don't take it to the higher ground so quick. Even if she says she's wants to go to "that" level, just say "NO". Be above your country's legal age to have sex.

Don't kiss on the first date, wait until the second date to kiss. On the third date, you could start making out with her, but no funny business. Then after a few weeks or months when your relationship is getting serious, you can go to the next level. But only if you are old enough in your country to have sex. Then hopefully things go great for you two, and hope you get married above the legal marriage age.

Are you actually some 60 year old devout Christian from Edwardian times or something?
"Ohhh crikey I saw a flash of ankle there, I'd better wash my eyes out with bleach."
What the hell is wrong with you?

 

[Sprite]

When I started out dating my now fiance I told her I was selfish, and hooked on GT. worked a charm, I can now get out of the dishes and go play GT5 without feeling guilty.

I'm sure everything will be great, as people have said just be yourself and what will be will be.

 

[Terronium-12]

Are you actually some 60 year old devout Christian from Edwardian times or something?
"Ohhh crikey I saw a flash of ankle there, I'd better wash my eyes out with bleach."
What the hell is wrong with you?

Well despite the way he said it, it's actually sound advice (although not in the fashion he worded it) sex is a powerful thing and can instantly send things in to multiple tangents or a most uncomfortable downward spiral.

IMO, what Croooow should have said is don't think about sex right now as you're already in a tight enough situation with the both of you being shy; worry about it when you're both ready.

 

[TommyWizard]

Ah guys, much love to all. Some posts really cheering me up and getting a giggle from too.

Im 20 years old, previous relations where 7 years ago, failed after two week and one 4 years ago. Failed after she showed a randomer on MSN her "assests" that I had tried for 6 months to see, that was a hard lesson on internet relationships. They do not work.

I was strickly raised with manners in mind. Burping and farting is a definate no no, any from her end are awesome however! I see that as an awesome expression and showing that she is indeed a human and not a model to set on the mantel.

Have to say, Imakuni. Hearing that I shouldn't pay for everything is greatly reassuring considering Im a student who doesnt drink / smoke / drug out and still cant afford much.

Really really appreciate this guys I wish I could make it up to you all some day!


EDIT: as for the hanky panky stuff, Im firmly waiting my ground on that. Not afraid admitting Im a virgin but going and doing something stupid with her is NOT in my intrests right now.

 

[Aldo]

Well despite the way he said it, it's actually sound advice (although not in the fashion he worded it) sex is a powerful thing and can instantly send things in to multiple tangents or a most uncomfortable downward spiral.

IMO, what Croooow should have said is don't think about sex right now as you're already in a tight enough situation with the both of you being shy; worry about it when you're both ready.

Indeed it was sound advice.
The wording just cracked me up. Like those hilariously bad sex-ed videos at school.

 

[boiltheocean]

Ask if she wants to ride the pony snake all the way to tuna town, if she looks confused it means she wants to or she doesn't know where tuna town is.

 

[Max Powers]

just ask her to give you an old fashioned. breaks the ice every time for me.

 

[Terronium-12]

Ask if she wants to ride the pony snake all the way to tuna town, if she looks confused it means she wants to or she doesn't know where tuna town is.

If you do this, be sure to get Tom's address beforehand. That way if you get slapped you can make your way to his house and kick him in his bush -- no, need to cute it up...just kick him square in the balls.

 

[Dave A]

Just be yourself and everything will work out just fine! If it doesnt it wasnt meant to be!

This is the best advise you can get, at the end of the day you're going to start being yourself at some point in the relationship. If she starts liking you while you're trying to pretend your someone you're not then it's not going to work in the long term.

I think the earlier comment about asking open questions and not talking soley about the mundane stuff is good. You can talk about some mundane stuff, on my first date with my fiancee many moons ago we talked about everything an anything from what would happen to a kid if you strapped slices of bread to it and threw it into a load of ducks to football (yes she likes football) to tv programs, films and music.

If you can connect with her sense of humour then that will go a lot way, but don't over do it because you don't want her to see you as a clown who just cracks jokes or messes around all the time and secondly, if she's just pretending to laugh it doesn't matter too much if it's just the odd joke she's pretending to have found funny. If there's a lot of jokes she'll stop pretending pretty fast. But if you can make her laugh a couple of times that's good, laughing raises a persons spirits and makes them happy, if she feels happy with you then that won't be a bad thing.

Don't over analize the date though, the single best advise on here as was said earlier, be yourself.

 

[Aldo]

Ask if she wants to ride the pony snake all the way to tuna town, if she looks confused it means she wants to or she doesn't know where tuna town is.

If you do this, be sure to get Tom's address beforehand. That way if you get slapped you can make your way to his house and kick him in his bush -- no, need to cute it up...just kick him square in the balls.

 

[oohhh yeah]

Don't take it to the higher ground so quick. Even if she says she's wants to go to "that" level, just say "NO". Be above your country's legal age to have sex.

Don't kiss on the first date, wait until the second date to kiss. On the third date, you could start making out with her, but no funny business. Then after a few weeks or months when your relationship is getting serious, you can go to the next level. But only if you are old enough in your country to have sex. Then hopefully things go great for you two, and hope you get married above the legal marriage age.

What is the OP 12? Wait a few weeks or MONTHS?? 🤬 🤬 🤬 🤬 OP hasn't isn't even her boyfriend yet and you are talking about marriage. Remember my rule a couple posts above? You have to clap dem cheeks by the third date, or you're just wasting your time.

 

[Terronium-12]

Yeah...don't follow his advice either.

 

[Eric Demory]

What can I say? Like Grandfather like Grandson.

 

[TommyWizard]

Thank God I can have a laugh about this someday

And a big cheers to Dave, I would always have my funny side on show. Probably too much so I will defiantly lighten up a bit on that.

What about a gift? Chocolates? Or too soon?

 

[Aldo]

I'm just wondering what "clap dem cheeks" means in English...
I'm guessing something to do with domestic abuse?

Kablamo! Clap dem cheeks by the third date Tommy or you'll be breaking this nutter's rules.

 

[Terronium-12]

Thank God I can have a laugh about this someday

And a big cheers to Dave, I would always have my funny side on show. Probably too much so I will defiantly lighten up a bit on that.

What about a gift? Chocolates? Or too soon?

For a first date? Candy would be a nice gesture but keep that for a later date, or better yet holster it for a spontaneous gift. Instead, play it classic and get her a rose or something...whatever kind of flower she likes, get one for her.

@Aldo: It's a gratuitous pun for sex. As in, if he's not hitting it by the third date then, according to his ingenious theory, she's not worth the time (as she's not slutty enough).

 

[Aldo]

@Aldo: It's a gratuitous pun for sex. As in, if he's not hitting it by the third date then, according to his ingenious theory, she's not worth the time (as she's not slutty enough).

I see. Sounds delightful...

 

[MarinaDiamandis]

I'm just wondering what "clap dem cheeks" means in English...
I'm guessing something to do with domestic abuse?

Kablamo! Clap dem cheeks by the third date Tommy or you'll be breaking this nutter's rules.

KABLAMO! Love it, protein shake KABLAMO'D everywhere!

What about a gift? Chocolates? Or too soon?

No gift, it's a first date and she'd likely see that you're trying to 'buy' her time. Plenty of time for gifts later if things go well. Same with flowers, makes you seem way too eager to get serious.

As in, if he's not hitting it by the third date then, according to his ingenious theory, she's not worth the time (as she's not slutty enough).

Don't be so quick to knock this. It's human nature to want to reproduce! For some people instant sexual compatibility will decide if the relationship will go anywhere, so why waste time? We're all different.

Personally, if the girl goes for it earlier than the third or fourth date it's not a problem, as I usually casually decline anyway.
I quite like knowing that I could if I wanted to, but having the self control to resist and let the tension build.
Most ladies are cool with this because they know that I have intent and that good things come to those who wait.

The later you leave it (especially with quite a majority of girls in their late teens/twenties) the less likely you are to have a well-functioning sexual side to your relationship, or a relationship at all. Ladies will go elsewhere, especially if nothing sexual happens apart from, say, kissing in the first weeks.
As long as there is an indicator that stuff will happen, and that the waiting is an exciting build up to it, you shouldn't have problems.

 

[Mic_Col]

Oh and one things been missed, is to call her the next day and say how good it all went.