I Need Your GT Sport Facts!!

  • Thread starter BigJimmy
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BigJimmy

BigJimmy

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United Kingdom
Devon UK
Hello All

I am currently writing the (totally fabricated) Kazunori Yamauchi Biography: "Purity of Vision, Kazunori Yamauchi and the Gran Turismo Story". A part of this book will be a list of interesting (and totally made up) facts about the Man and his game franchise.

I need your assistance. Please can you help by giving me some of your (fake) GT Sport facts below? I have made a start to give some inspiration.

Factoids:

Kazunori Yamauchi competed in and won singlehandedly the 2013 WEC “6 Hours of Fuji” race, running a PD created VW Samba Bus Gr.3.

Every time an Anime livery is posted in Gran Turismo Sport, a baby Puffin dies of a broken heart.

Lotus cars were withdrawn from GTSport due to Geely Automotive CEO Sheng Yue Gui’s debilitating fear of incessant high pitched screechy tire sounds.

The Translator San meme is in fact, true. He has no interest in GT games. The only thing he can think about is his all consuming passion for Kiwi Fruit. At any time, Translator San can be found storing large multiples of the sweet hairy fruit inside his chubby cheeks like a ravenous hamster. When alone he will retrieve a Kiwi Fruit from his mouth and devour its silky green flesh with a silver teaspoon that he keeps under the collar of his suit jacket.

Gran Turismo Sport has a hidden Drifter Girlfriend mode. Pressing down, down, down, down while the Drift event loads will give you a super realistic depressed looking girl with low self-esteem in the front passenger seat.

Every time someone reaches level 50 in GTSport, the release date for Spa-Francorchamps DLC is put back by 1 month and another Tokyo city track is procedurally generated, to be released in its place.

Top simcade race TRL_LIGHTNING is so FAST that Polyphony Digital insists (in order to level the playingfield), he can only ever play against other people on Gran Turismo while simultaneously traveling through space at 95% of the speed of light.

The Gran Turismo Sport Daily Mileage Roulette prize quality is inversely linked to the inflation rate of the Argentine Peso.

The Jimmy Broadbent you see streaming GT Sport and commentating at the world tour events, is not actually the real Jimmy Broadbent. What you see is in fact, a highly upgraded ASIMO Robot in a mask and a floppy brown wig. The real Jimmer has been locked in his shed for the last 18 months trying to win Gold on the final braking license test in Gran Turismo 5.


Posters with successfully selected facts will receive a free copy of my totally no-existent book. Many thanks in advance to the community.
 
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First of all, everyone still gets the name wrong. It's not GT Sport, a driving game. It's GT's Port, "The Real Sea Port Simulator". That's why they are so proud of the Dragon Trail Seaside and even more the new Tokyo South tracks. The next track release will be an exciting drive around Pier 39 in San Francisco with animated noisy seals at every corner. The next update will also convert the temporary race marshals into their final form - deep sea fishermen wearing hats and big yellow plastic macs (macs means coats not Apple devices by the way). And there will be cranes at every pit lane to lift up the cars (which will now be highly detailed containers on wheels). Kaz hopes this will help gamers to understand the real beauty of Sea ports.
 
sirjim73
The next update will also convert the temporary race marshals into their final form - deep sea fishermen wearing hats and big yellow plastic macs (macs means coats not Apple devices by the way). And there will be cranes at every pit lane to lift up the cars (which will now be highly detailed containers on wheels). Kaz hopes this will help gamers to understand the real beauty of Sea ports.
Click to expand...

So hyped for this! :lol:
 
BigJimmy
The Gran Turismo Sport Daily Mileage Roulette prize quality is inversely linked to the inflation rate of the Argentine Peso.
Click to expand...


I am almost 100% utterly convinced that this fact is really actually properly kind of true maybe.

My fact: Kaz has a hearing disorder; he can hear fine when work colleagues are telling him what he wants to hear, but, goes quite deaf when GT fans make suggestions.



:sly:
 
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The GT Sport Penalty system is actually a CIA plot to start a Nippon-Sino nuclear war. Fukashima was just a result of a 10 second penalty.


Kim Jon Un is poised to launch Nukes if Spa is not in the next update.


Donald Trump wants to know why shuffle racing is still missing in GT Sport and insists on building a wall down the International Date Line.


Meanwhile, back in the UK, as Brexit time looms Silverstone and Brands Hatch will be withdrawn from GT Sport and replaced by 25 more variations of a Tokyo car park. Note: even though Silverstone is not actually in GT Sport what the heck ;-)


Route X. I don’t have to comment any further everyone is has just started laughing anyway ;-)


Let’s start a “Ask Kaz Forum” Oh wait we tried that back with GT 6 and I forgot what an overwhelming success that was ;-)


Kaz thinking about the next GT series: Let’s make a “Real Driving Simulator”. I don’t want a functioning clutch pedal, that’s too hard. I want hand controllers to be given an unfair advantage in races. Oh wait; let’s have a penalty system that everyone can universally hate. Now to really annoy people lets dump all the really good tracks from GT5/6 and make up endless garbage. And while I am at it why don’t I make the track limits so ill-defined that no one can ever be sure whether or not they will get a penalty. Ahhhhhh I am soooo clever I will laugh all the way to the bank.


GT Games 101: Rule one: Any garbage can be (and will be) released and people will buy it in droves!
 
All of the world's fast jet pilots must complete 3 hours play time on Gran Turismo Sport.

This helps with: 1) Hand - Eye coordination. 2) Reflex times. 3) Colour perception. 4) FairPlay mentality and most important of all 5) It reduces the need for tea time snacks such as milky bars or custard cream biscuits!
 
SSRX was created in a joint development program with Naughty Dog, showing what would happen if you lost the final race against Nitrous Oxide.
 
GTsports lead developers were supposed to be Big bird, Cookie monster and Animal from Sesame Street...

Everytime you get a 5 or 10 sec penalty that was not your fault, the game would've played a chorus of Mahna Mahna...

 
The Voyager probes were secretly designed to try and find the limit of Kaz'z ego. BTW they are still going far, far into interstellar space.

Einstein laid the foundation with E=MC*2. It is now E=GC*2 Where E= exasperation at penalties, G = GT Sport, C = cursing at TV screen

Tyre Physics. That's all, just the joke in itself and will probably change again by the time I finish typing this ;-)
 
BigJimmy
Factoids:

Kazunori Yamauchi competed in and won singlehandedly the 2013 WEC “6 Hours of Fuji” race, running a PD created VW Samba Bus Gr.3.

Every time an Anime livery is posted in Gran Turismo Sport, a baby Puffin dies of a broken heart.

Lotus cars were withdrawn from GTSport due to Geely Automotive CEO Sheng Yue Gui’s debilitating fear of incessant high pitched screechy tire sounds.

The Translator San meme is in fact, true. He has no interest in GT games. The only thing he can think about is his all consuming passion for Kiwi Fruit. At any time, Translator San can be found storing large multiples of the sweet hairy fruit inside his chubby cheeks like ravenous a hamster. When alone he will retrieve and Kiwi Fruit from his mouth and devour its silky green flesh with a silver teaspoon that he keeps under the collar of his suit jacket.

Gran Turismo Sport has a hidden Drifter Girlfriend mode. Pressing down, down, down, down while the Drift event loads will give you a super realistic depressed looking girl with low self-esteem in the front passenger seat.

Every time someone reaches level 50 in GTSport, the release date for Spa-Francorchamps DLC is put back by 1 month and another Tokyo city track is procedurally generated, to be released in its place.

Top simcade race TRL_LIGHTNING is so FAST that Polyphony Digital insists (in order to level the playingfield), he can only ever play against other people on Gran Turismo while simultaneously traveling through space at 95% of the speed of light.

The Gran Turismo Sport Daily Mileage Roulette prize quality is inversely linked to the inflation rate of the Argentine Peso.

The Jimmy Broadbent you see streaming GT Sport and commentating at the world tour events, is not actually the real Jimmy Broadbent. What you see is in fact, a highly upgraded ASIMO Robot in a mask and a floppy brown wig. The real Jimmer has been locked in his shed for the last 18 months trying to win Gold on the final braking license test in Gran Turismo 5.
Click to expand...



I'd like to say thank you.... These have been giving me good gut chuckles

Keep this up
 
About 5000 kilos of heroin are trafficked into the U.S. through SSRX Airport every week. Remember those tunnels that turned up in the game data in GT6? The real purpose of the tunnels was to move the product off the PDI Line ships directly to the hangars, where it's loaded onto the planes and flown to distribution points throughout the country. It's all overseen by Harman Logistics and its subsidiaries, like Bullet Express and Pharmacy24 to name a few.
 

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