Well, who really looks at the tiny print those asterisks lead to anyway?
The 2019 Generic Autos Beigebox is the World's Fastest Mid-Size Crossover*
*As based on preliminary studies performed by a highly well-paid third party evaluator comparing generously estimated potential performance figures of the 2019 Beigebox to industry standards, which are a very broad average taken over 20 years with a 40% margin of error. Consumer results may vary depending on road conditions, driving style, weather condition, choice of radio station, number of stale french fries under the driver's seat and/or the will of Lord Cthulu. Any attempt to confirm accuracy of above claim will result in voiding of vehicle warranty, prosecution and our CEO poking you with a sharp stick. Do not feed after midnight or expose to water. Remember: we are watching you, citizen.