Jeep's Trackhawk is the World's Fastest SUV... on Ice

Discussion in 'Auto News' started by GTPNewsWire, May 3, 2019.

  1. GTPNewsWire

    GTPNewsWire Contributing Writer

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  2. MaxAttack

    MaxAttack

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    Has there ever been a more redundant accolade than "World's fastest SUV", i wonder?
     
    VXR likes this.
  3. Naveek Darkroom

    Naveek Darkroom

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    We have the Trailhawk, we have the Trackhawk, I guess we have the Icehawk now.
     
    courageC60 likes this.
  4. Schmiggz

    Schmiggz

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    It will sell a lot in Finland :p
     
  5. VXR

    VXR

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    That's neat. My car is the fastest car on our driveway.
     
  6. Auditore

    Auditore

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    Unfortunely "Tomahawk" is already taken by Dodge
     
  7. MaxAttack

    MaxAttack

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    Mohawk?
     
  8. Auditore

    Auditore

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    Tonyhawk
     
    Hayden likes this.
  9. MaxAttack

    MaxAttack

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    ChesneyHawkes!
     
  10. Teal

    Teal

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    Mike Hawk?
     
  11. Northstar

    Northstar Premium

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    It's no more redundant than every other "world's fastest" claim attached to a road car, especially since they've been getting more and more specific with the claim.
     
    Last edited: May 5, 2019
    EngieDiesel likes this.
  12. EngieDiesel

    EngieDiesel

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    Well, who really looks at the tiny print those asterisks lead to anyway?

    The 2019 Generic Autos Beigebox is the World's Fastest Mid-Size Crossover*


    *As based on preliminary studies performed by a highly well-paid third party evaluator comparing generously estimated potential performance figures of the 2019 Beigebox to industry standards, which are a very broad average taken over 20 years with a 40% margin of error. Consumer results may vary depending on road conditions, driving style, weather condition, choice of radio station, number of stale french fries under the driver's seat and/or the will of Lord Cthulu. Any attempt to confirm accuracy of above claim will result in voiding of vehicle warranty, prosecution and our CEO poking you with a sharp stick. Do not feed after midnight or expose to water. Remember: we are watching you, citizen.