Jokes!!

  • Thread starter Thread starter DQuaN
  • 4,717 comments
  • 787,471 views
What did the man with the terrible dad-jokes say to his son when they were reunited ten years after the war?

You've groan, son!
 
Reminds me of this one:

How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.
 
Leadfoot530
Reminds me of this one:

How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.
Click to expand...
Poor Richard.
 
Did you hear about the drunken mohel?

He got the sack.
 
Corny joke: What is a Dodge Aries's favorite genre of music?

K-Pop.
 
The87Dodge
Corny joke: What is a Dodge Aries's favorite genre of music?

K-Pop.
Click to expand...
The door is behind you. Don't hit your head on the way out.
 
Poms and Aussies might say the without the car reference, user name The Dodge may still be appropriate.
 
10 puns entered a contest? Which one won?

No pun intended.
 
A 6 year old and a 4 year old are raking the yard. The 6 year old says, "You know what? I think it's about time we started learning to cuss." The 4 year old nods his head in approval.

The 6 year old continues, "When we go in for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass."

The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."

WHACK!

He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step.

His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out!"

She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"

"I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios!"
 
What happened to Sine when Cosine beat him in a race?

Sine went off on a tangent.
 
The87Dodge
What happened to Sine when Cosine beat him in a race?

Sine went off on a tangent.
Click to expand...
FTFY. Might help a little.

Also, nerd humor :lol:
 
2 men applying for the same job pass the interviews with 100%.

The employer is stumped on who to hire. He decides to have each of them write a short poem. But there is a catch. The poem has to end with the words Timbukto.

He reads the first one.
Across burning desert sands, stinging winds of heat, and skies of blue,
We arrive at our destination, Timbukto.

The employer thought it was fascinating.. He reads the second.

Tim and I a hunting went,
Found 3 women in a tent,
When they 3 and us 2,
I bucked one and Tim bucked two

Groan
 
Back