So, valentines day...

  • Thread starter Thread starter Event
  • 262 comments
  • 12,803 views

Are you alone for Valentine's day?

  • nope, I'm a lucky one

    Votes: 55 34.2%

  • Alone, no suprise there...

    Votes: 97 60.2%

  • i live in a country that doesn't succumb to hallmark propoganda.

    Votes: 9 5.6%
  • Total voters
    161
Hollowxeyes
I don't get the disappointment. If you are alone on valentines, you were most likely alone the rest of the year too lol so get bummed out for the whole year instead of just one day. :P

Or you could just follow what Azuremen said, I mean how hard can it be to get a girl to date you? lol
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:lol: So true. I'm but I prefer it. I don't have to be on my best behaviour. And I don't have to spend a single cent on someone else. Living the high life!
 
Imakuni
I think cooking is the best part. That's one thing I did do, cooked her a nice meal and made dessert while she was showering after work. Usually we share the cooking as a chore, but I think I enjoyed experimenting with a new recipe as much as she enjoyed eating it, yesterday!
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On Friday, I'm going to make salmon (trying to decide between grilled or pan seared), roasted potatoes, sweet potato pureé, and I'm still trying to figure out a vegetable (probably salad with goat cheese, roasted almonds, and raspberries). Then for dessert, I'll probably make chocolate cake. Works out perfectly, I love cooking, and it's an inexpensive way to do something nice.
 
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Starfirebird
I usually don't get bummed out,but Valentine's day just reminds me of being alone for 6 years.

I've tried Dating many times,it just doesn't work out for me.

This woman i work with,who i've known for a long time,tells me that i am too nice.She told me being too nice,just shows that i'm weak and i can't be a man(yeah i know,low blow).She told me women like a guy who is a butthead most of the time,but can also be nice occasionally.She said "we just like drama.Yeah i know where crazy".

I was like,well looks like i'll be single for a long time then.
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This is me right here. I'd much rather be single (and save money, but that's just a perk, nothing more) and not have to change my personality than change it to be with someone that likes a jerk.

And the whole being too nice means you're weak and not a man thing is one of the stupidest things I've ever heard, but sadly many people (of both genders) think that way.
 
Hollowxeyes
I don't get the disappointment. If you are alone on valentines, you were most likely alone the rest of the year too lol so get bummed out for the whole year instead of just one day. :P

Or you could just follow what Azuremen said, I mean how hard can it be to get a girl to date you? lol
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Actually rather, but that's to get the right girl to date you. I know most girls I know hate being hit on all the time in pubs and clubs so if every Joe is trying they are going to become bored and its going to be even more of a 'no'. I'd hate it if I was in their shoes.
Hence the reason why I don't tend to hit on anyone even if I am crazy about them, I'd imagine they have enough of it.

I spent the day being singularly awesome and joining the fad of renaming the day and posting a transparently witty status about it on fb. Mine was "Happy Everyone is suddenly a florist day".

Did I do anything for Valentine's day? Yeah. Me and one of my brosephs have a habit of being eachother's valentine for 🤬 s and giggles. Funny as it annoys a few girls going after both parties and it sort of shows what the day means to us (not much, really). We went out for dinner on Saturday for a good chinwag. Bromantic.
 
Starfirebird
This woman i work with,who i've known for a long time,tells me that i am too nice.She told me being too nice,just shows that i'm weak and i can't be a man(yeah i know,low blow).She told me women like a guy who is a butthead most of the time,but can also be nice occasionally.She said "we just like drama.
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Completely untrue. I've rarely fought with anyone, never really 'hated' anybody my whole life, have a lifelong embarrassing disease, am am old fashioned gentleman type (open her car door for her, take off my hat at dinner, give her my coat... Etc) and never really been a arse to anybody.

I've had a couple short term girlfriends and now my current one of 4 1/2 years who I plan on asking to marry me when we finish all our schooling in a couple years.

You don't have to be a arse just be yourself, and yes I realize that sounds corny but it's true. What's the point in being with a woman if your miserable while your with her?

The other huge thing is not being afraid of rejection. To be honest who cares how many times women say no. It's not a reflection on you it's that they weren't interested for whatever reason and life goes on. I'm not the least bit embarrassed to say my girlfriend and I still laugh at how hard I worked just for her to go on a date with me and that turned out pretty well. I must have asked atleast 5 times.
 
CMvan46
I'm not the least bit embarrassed to say my girlfriend and I still laugh at how hard I worked just for her to go on a date with me and that turned out pretty well. I must have asked atleast 5 times.
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See this is another thing.
I asked a girl once and she said no and while I can't take my mind off her I don't ask again, out of respect and I don't want to annoy her. How on earth do you get yourself in a position to ask 5 times?
 
Boffin
Actually rather, but that's to get the right girl to date you. I know most girls I know hate being hit on all the time in pubs and clubs so if every Joe is trying they are going to become bored and its going to be even more of a 'no'. I'd hate it if I was in their shoes.
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Well yeah. And I wasn't talking about going out and just hitting on everyone. A lot of people seem very caught up that they "have" to be with someone or else they are failing at life. Which is just the wrong attitude in general.

What I more meant was instead of hating on one's self for lacking confidence, which you see quite a bit of in this thread, they should be more proactive about changing their self image. Honestly, they are like more upset because they see it as a short coming due to their own insecurities, which I use to also suffer from.

Being more confident also means you worry less about not being with someone because, honestly, you don't need them to validate yourself. Which is kind of amusing, because by being more confident, you are generally going to attract more people.

Boffin
See this is another thing.
I asked a girl once and she said no and while I can't take my mind off her I don't ask again, out of respect and I don't want to annoy her. How on earth do you get yourself in a position to ask 5 times?
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I'd say a bit of them getting along, humorous attempts, and something else holding her back rather than not finding him interesting.
 
Starfirebird
Stuff about being too nice
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Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen. Works for me, but them I'm a former drunk who gave attitude to everybody and still managed to end up getting bought drinks by them! Also, pheromones help, I think I must sweat out charm which is irresistible to woman of any age, race of background.
 
Azuremen
Being more confident also means you worry less about not being with someone because, honestly, you don't need them to validate yourself. Which is kind of amusing, because by being more confident, you are generally going to attract more people.
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Lol none of that was directed at anything you said, but yes I agree with you.

Confidence is another thing that is twisted by ourselves. Generally I have found that I view myself in 1st person a lot different than people view me in the 3rd person. I am my biggest critic because I know exactly what I do and why I do it, how I do it contrasting to how others do it and I question why I can't seem to do it like them etc etc etc... whereas other just view me as....well... me.

In my last breakup people were suprised that it wasn't me doing the dumping because apparently according to everyone else I was way out of her league. It came as a bit of a shock and also a suprise, but I guess confidence is all about perspectives. Everyone is going to be someone's cup of tea.
 
Last night was tough, was stressed so naturally wanted a beer. Hit the weights instead. It helped.
 
Boffin
Lol none of that was directed at anything you said, but yes I agree with you.
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Whoops, though I don't think anything I said was poor advice, per say :dopey:

Boffin
Confidence is another thing that is twisted by ourselves. Generally I have found that I view myself in 1st person a lot different than people view me in the 3rd person. I am my biggest critic because I know exactly what I do and why I do it, how I do it contrasting to how others do it and I question why I can't seem to do it like them etc etc etc... whereas other just view me as....well... me.
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It is interesting how other people see you, especially as you start to get older. I've come to realize most people think I'm 22 or younger and initially assume I'm a photo/arts major due to my appearance and don't expect me to have worked some very down to earth jobs.

On the flip side, all the confusion tends to make girls more interested in me :lol:

But yes, we, as people, are often more harsh with are self perception than how others perceive us. And how simple things can impact that - standing up a bit straighter or a firm hand shake can dramatically change how someone perceives you initially. Yes, I realize I'm rambling - it is 4am.

W3HS
Last night was tough, was stressed so naturally wanted a beer. Hit the weights instead. It helped.
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Anything that gets your mind off it. I usually dive into some complicated video game or go for a bike ride when I'm a bit stressed and just need to forget things for a bit.
 
Can I get a cookie for most obscure Valentine's date?

Decided to hang out at the local Crown Court. Didn't see any major trials, a bit of drama out in the foyer after a woman's boyfriend got put away for 10 weeks. Will go on a Monday next time so we can see a jury getting sworn in.
 
Boffin
See this is another thing.
I asked a girl once and she said no and while I can't take my mind off her I don't ask again, out of respect and I don't want to annoy her. How on earth do you get yourself in a position to ask 5 times?
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Azuremen
I'd say a bit of them getting along, humorous attempts, and something else holding her back rather than not finding him interesting.
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This would be it. We were very good friends before hand, we've actually lived 2 minutes apart since we were 2 and went to the same schools since preschool (although we never talked until around grade 9) I probably asked more than 5 times if you include all the humorous times I asked if she wanted to date me yet. We were stuck in the stage of her seeing me as a friend and not as somebody for a relationship.

I think this might be what your lady friend is trying to tell you. Girls don't want a "friend", they want a boyfriend. That doesn't mean you have to be a jerk but there is a clear difference between the two.

axletramp
Sorry, could someone define the word 'date' to ExigeEvan? :p
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Hahaha.

I will back Evan up by saying the courts can be a pretty interesting place to spend the afternoon.
 
CMvan46
This would be it. We were very good friends before hand, we've actually lived 2 minutes apart since we were 2 and went to the same schools since preschool (although we never talked until around grade 9) I probably asked more than 5 times if you include all the humorous times I asked if she wanted to date me yet. We were stuck in the stage of her seeing me as a friend and not as somebody for a relationship.

I think this might be what your lady friend is trying to tell you. Girls don't want a "friend", they want a boyfriend. That doesn't mean you have to be a jerk but there is a clear difference between the two.
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Yeah she said it was something else holding her back and not me. We don't touch the subject now but I would love to be in a position to be more open and jokular with her about it as we talk about about everything except that one instance (although someone who was baked off his chops at the last music festival we went to acted as a wingman out of the blue....oh, if only he knew the truth haha).

I don't set out to agree with everything she says and like all the music she listens to, but I can see what you mean. I don't follow her around, I do my own thing and we eventually bump into eachother at uni. I wouldn't say I am nice to her to the point of it being blindingly obvious, but I do look after her like I look after any of my female friends. Giving her lifts into town with me if she doesnt have the car, protecting her from moshpit biffs, the usual :p.

Its not a sob story. Granted, it once was, but I am used to sitting and gazing from afar, so I am cool, even if I'd like to see something happen.
 
W3HS
You guys definitely need to get out more.
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I live in Canada, there is more heat in the law courts than my igloo so it's an especially nice place for a date :)

My street is perfecting the igloo design though.
igloo2.jpg



On topic however we did go out for steak and crab dinner last night as we were out late Valentines Day. I have never felt the need to spend a lot on this day but I just realized I spent nearly $400 this year... Yikes.
 
So how's everyone doing this year?

Been a great night for me so far. Apart from aunt flo's untimely visit. :grumpy:

Still, um, yeah, I'm drunk, and I'm gonna get a 'treat' in a bit. :D
 

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