Where to start....
First I do have some informal "On the job" training in upscale cooking. In the late eighties, I worked for a fine dining establishment called "The Four Columns Inn". At that time, it ran abotu $150 a dinner per person. Our waiters wore ties, and there was a real fire place in the dining area, with real wood in it. I found my love of good food there.
In hte last 5 years or so, my dining expereinces have gone downhill. Having no kids, we have a bit of free cash to go out for dinner on a regular occasion. To places that will cook a filet mignon "Black and Blue". Some place that has escargo on the menu. These are the places that I really enjoy going to. in other words, a place that doesn't have Budweiser on tap. However, without fail something always goes wrong. The classic disappearing waiter, food on the plate/silver/napkin/table, wrong temperature food, or a bad waiter. The worst one, is having to ask for our appetizers, when they bring out our meal.
For instance, we went to the "Lighthouse Restaurant" In Colchester, Vermont About a year ago. Expected price tag for dinner for two...$90-$120. We ordered our meal, and the waitress brought our drinks out. I had Amaretto on the rocks, wife had a long trail. How long does it take to drink that? 5 minutes, if you're going really slow. A different waitress brought our next set of drinks out. We had to go ask the Maitre'd where our appetizers were. Our meal and the appetizer showed up at the same time. I had to ask for a steak knife for my porterhouse. I had to go ask the Maitre'd for another waitress. We skipped dinner, and the Maitre'd ran us out, as we couldn't find our second waitress either.
Last week, The wife and I went to Ruby Tuesdays at teh local mall. Yes, I know it's a mall, I didn't set our sights too high. here's what went wrong...We had just forks, no other silver. They brought me the wrong drink. Our appetizers came out cold (Chicken wings and battered shrimp). Within 5 minutes they brought out our food. They brought my wifes order, and managed to screw up mine (at this point we both ordered a second drink (margarita, and a beer). So I watched my wife eat while they cooked the correct order. My food showed up, the steak was over cooked, and the potato was under cooked. I ate it anyways. After the meal, we asked for the check. The waitress asked if we wanted desert, I responded "If you couldn't find our drinks, why would I send you back in there for snything else?" i was issued an apology, then I asked if she'd be so kind as to take the second drinks off our bill as we were never served them.
My wife thinks that an ex-girlfriend hexed me, into never getting good service. It has become something of a running joke. Even the waiter/ess laugh about it, yet still much the dinner.
Pet peeves, inappropriate food temperture. I've had places bring me a steaming hot potato, sitting between a luke warm lobster and a cold steak. I can forgive a bad waiter, food on my silver, as these really are easily fixed and peripheral pieces to your dining experience. But mess up the food, and that's what you remember.
Easiest things to dissappoint a dining expereince, is an inattentive waiter. I try really hard to be a good diner, but sometimes it gets rough when the waiter doesn't care. If a wiater makes Eye contact, that means they are asking if you need anything, and giving you a moment to respond. That when the appropriate time to summon them is. I should never have to seek out a waiter or waitress. I'm paying good money to have you serve me. If I wanted excellent food, i could cook it at home, but like to romance the wife a bit...that's why I'm there.
As for the TGIFridays/Dennys/Friendly's/Hojo's type places, I'm not there so much for the atmosphere, or the food, I'm there to fill my belly. Quick response, on time with the food-at the right time, and the check when I need it. Other than that, I'm not worried about anything else.
Except for screaming kids and ringing cell phones. If it's a good restaurant, threat it like a movie theatre. Not like a McDonalds.
As for the fast food restaraunts, if it's got a drive up window, expect nothing more than something warm in your belly, and a bloated colon in a few hours.
BTW, Boombexus, some of my BEST dining expereinces were the NECI Restaraunts on Curch street, and in Montpelier, VT.
Hope this gives a bit of insight.
I think I went on a bit of a rant....
AO
So if you want napkins, straws, etc., you better order it all up front. Even dessert 
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I happen to love restaurants (well most of them 
