Schwartz
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- Schwartz38
The Book of Turismo
From hereforth, all men faithful and loyal to the awesome power of Gran Turismo shall be known as Turismites, followers of Turismanity, Believers in the Almighty Kaz, creator and protector of all things Turismo who hails from the great house of Polyphonus Digitalus. Apex.
- Thou shall spread the word as it's written in the great forum of GTPlanet.
- There's only one Console, the PlayStation, and Gran Turismo is His Game.
- Thou shalt not preach war with the Forzites.
- Thou shalt not be in thine 12th year of living and useth thine microphone.
- Remember the Race day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Race of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your male servant, nor your female servant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who works at the taco stand in the Nurburgring. For in six days the Lord made the Poyphony Digital and the Gran Turismo, the Nurburgring, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the Yamauchi blessed the Race day and hallowed it.
- Thou shall love "The Entertainer" and it shall become thy ringtone.
(Entertainer is the name of the GT Auto song if you didn't know)
- Thou shalt not drive thy X2010 whilst in the presence of other gamers in an online lobby. This is among the most unforgivable of sins, and is punishable by an instant damnation to the gloomy depths of the "You have been kicked" screen.
- Thou shall not dispraise the holy GT-R.
- Neither shalt thou duplicate cars of 1,000,000 credits and over.
- Thou shalt covet thine neighbors awesome internet connection.
- Thou shall buyeth and useth a proper wheel from the book of Logitech: chapter G:27.
- Thou shall train thy children in the way of Turismo.
- On the 4th day, Kaz Almighty created the sun. He forgot to let the sun set on some locations.
- Thou shall take proper breaks so as to not developed carpal tunnel syndrome.
- Thou shalt raise your B-spec Bob children slaves to lead obedient and rigorous grinding lives.
- On the second day He craned His neck to notice thine rims were standard and did sweep forth and with his power make them changeable.
- Kaz also decreed, in the year 2.02, that all shall have the free will to modify HUD and His children were sated ere they long for year 3.0.
- Overtake unto others as you would have them overtake unto you.
- Let he who is without spinout cast the first red cone.
- Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray to Kaz my garage to keep:
May Kaz guard bob through the night
And give him victory by the morning light.
ZeLemon has taken the liberty of creating a Facebook group! You are all welcome to join The Official Facebook Group of the Turismists
Our Diver, which art in Asphalt,
Hallowed be thy V12.
Thy Turbo come.
Thy will be done in Sarthe,
As it is in Nürburg.
Give us this day our daily fuel.
And forgive us our tyre wear,
As we forgive them that trade paint against us.
And lead us not into blocking,
But deliver us from the Gravel.
For thine is the Piston,
The power, and the traction,
For ever and ever.
Apex.
---------------
1. GT is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2. It maketh me to drive in green pastures: it leadeth me beside the pit lane.
3. It restoreth my chassis: it driveth me in the slipstream of righteousness for his name's sake.
4. Yea, though I race through the valley of the shadow of Kallenhard, I will fear no understeer: for thou art with me; thy shock and thy springs they comfort me.
5. Thou preparest an opening before me in the presence of mine rivals: thou anointest my sump with oil; my fuel tank runneth over.
6. Surely race suits and paint chips shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of GT for ever.
---------------
The Sermon on the Mount Eiger NordWand
And seeing the multitudes, he went up into Trail Mountain: and when he was set, his drivers came unto him:
And he opened his helmet, and taught them, saying,
Blessed are the poor in skill: for theirs is the kingdom of Gravel.
Blessed are they that crash: for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the Red Bulls: for they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after tyres and fuel: for they shall be filled.
Blessed are the corner cutters: for they shall obtain no penalty.
Blessed are the pure in carbon fiber: for they shall see Him.
Blessed are the pace cars: for they shall be called the children of Him.
Blessed are they which are persecuted for over use of racing softs: for theirs is the kingdom of grip.
Blessed are ye, when men shall cut you up, and out-brake you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in Nurburg: for so persecuted they the racers which were before you.
---------------
On the first day He looked upon thine humble garage and decried "You shall have content for downloading five moons from now." And it was so.
On the second day He craned His neck to notice thine rims were standard and did sweep forth and with his power make them changeable.
On the third day He lost chassis stability through Bergwerk and sent forth 10 coupons for maintenance.
On the forth day He saw our troubles cashing in tickets and declared "This is taking too long!" and so gave the ability to make multiple collections.
On the fifth day He heard thy V8's low grumble and did make it a powerful roar.
On the sixth and seventh days He sat back and marvelled at his doing while watching the motor-sports on TV
---------------
From hereforth, all men faithful and loyal to the awesome power of Gran Turismo shall be known as Turismites, followers of Turismanity, Believers in the Almighty Kaz, creator and protector of all things Turismo who hails from the great house of Polyphonus Digitalus. Apex.
- Thou shall spread the word as it's written in the great forum of GTPlanet.
- There's only one Console, the PlayStation, and Gran Turismo is His Game.
- Thou shalt not preach war with the Forzites.
- Thou shalt not be in thine 12th year of living and useth thine microphone.
- Remember the Race day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Race of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your male servant, nor your female servant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who works at the taco stand in the Nurburgring. For in six days the Lord made the Poyphony Digital and the Gran Turismo, the Nurburgring, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the Yamauchi blessed the Race day and hallowed it.
- Thou shall love "The Entertainer" and it shall become thy ringtone.
(Entertainer is the name of the GT Auto song if you didn't know)
- Thou shalt not drive thy X2010 whilst in the presence of other gamers in an online lobby. This is among the most unforgivable of sins, and is punishable by an instant damnation to the gloomy depths of the "You have been kicked" screen.
- Thou shall not dispraise the holy GT-R.
- Neither shalt thou duplicate cars of 1,000,000 credits and over.
- Thou shalt covet thine neighbors awesome internet connection.
- Thou shall buyeth and useth a proper wheel from the book of Logitech: chapter G:27.
- Thou shall train thy children in the way of Turismo.
- On the 4th day, Kaz Almighty created the sun. He forgot to let the sun set on some locations.
- Thou shall take proper breaks so as to not developed carpal tunnel syndrome.
- Thou shalt raise your B-spec Bob children slaves to lead obedient and rigorous grinding lives.
- On the second day He craned His neck to notice thine rims were standard and did sweep forth and with his power make them changeable.
- Kaz also decreed, in the year 2.02, that all shall have the free will to modify HUD and His children were sated ere they long for year 3.0.
- Overtake unto others as you would have them overtake unto you.
- Let he who is without spinout cast the first red cone.
- Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray to Kaz my garage to keep:
May Kaz guard bob through the night
And give him victory by the morning light.
ZeLemon has taken the liberty of creating a Facebook group! You are all welcome to join The Official Facebook Group of the Turismists
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Gospels of shem
The Gospels of shem
Our Diver, which art in Asphalt,
Hallowed be thy V12.
Thy Turbo come.
Thy will be done in Sarthe,
As it is in Nürburg.
Give us this day our daily fuel.
And forgive us our tyre wear,
As we forgive them that trade paint against us.
And lead us not into blocking,
But deliver us from the Gravel.
For thine is the Piston,
The power, and the traction,
For ever and ever.
Apex.
---------------
1. GT is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2. It maketh me to drive in green pastures: it leadeth me beside the pit lane.
3. It restoreth my chassis: it driveth me in the slipstream of righteousness for his name's sake.
4. Yea, though I race through the valley of the shadow of Kallenhard, I will fear no understeer: for thou art with me; thy shock and thy springs they comfort me.
5. Thou preparest an opening before me in the presence of mine rivals: thou anointest my sump with oil; my fuel tank runneth over.
6. Surely race suits and paint chips shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of GT for ever.
---------------
The Sermon on the Mount Eiger NordWand
And seeing the multitudes, he went up into Trail Mountain: and when he was set, his drivers came unto him:
And he opened his helmet, and taught them, saying,
Blessed are the poor in skill: for theirs is the kingdom of Gravel.
Blessed are they that crash: for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the Red Bulls: for they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after tyres and fuel: for they shall be filled.
Blessed are the corner cutters: for they shall obtain no penalty.
Blessed are the pure in carbon fiber: for they shall see Him.
Blessed are the pace cars: for they shall be called the children of Him.
Blessed are they which are persecuted for over use of racing softs: for theirs is the kingdom of grip.
Blessed are ye, when men shall cut you up, and out-brake you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in Nurburg: for so persecuted they the racers which were before you.
---------------
On the first day He looked upon thine humble garage and decried "You shall have content for downloading five moons from now." And it was so.
On the second day He craned His neck to notice thine rims were standard and did sweep forth and with his power make them changeable.
On the third day He lost chassis stability through Bergwerk and sent forth 10 coupons for maintenance.
On the forth day He saw our troubles cashing in tickets and declared "This is taking too long!" and so gave the ability to make multiple collections.
On the fifth day He heard thy V8's low grumble and did make it a powerful roar.
On the sixth and seventh days He sat back and marvelled at his doing while watching the motor-sports on TV
---------------
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