The Book of Turismo

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Thou shalt sacrifice thine exploded parts to the God of Speed(Kaz) for forgiveness from willful and neglegent destruction of His Children.

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Glory be to PD, Kaz, and the holy GT-R, as it was in the first Gran Turismo, it is now and ever shall be, a world without Forza.
 
Thou shall not use a mic that sounds like your eating it to other people and thou shall not make farting noises in it or other stupid sounds that are extremely annoying, such as:


obnoxious laughter
burping
more farts
obnoxious use of the voice changer
yelling/screaming
talking over others
telling people to shut up
swearing
telling people "your mom" even though that doesn't make sense anyway
using ungoldy amounts of stupidity while at the same time trying to be funny
your voice


Thou shall now be entitled to play the game Gran Turismo 5 after clearly stating the names of every last car in the game to perfection twice, whilst driving the X2011 with minimum downforce at 300mph around the famous Nurburgring for 1000 laps, and not messing up, at the same time looking away from the TV screen and listening to Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley several hundred times. Then thou shall be ready to feel the wrath of the lengendary Gran Turismo series latest installment.
 
Thou shall remember thee real life car is not race modified.

Thou shall train thy children in the way of Turismo.

Thou shall not disparage the time thy wife spends on the TV.

Thou shall take proper breaks so as to not developed carpal tunnel syndrome.
 
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Thou shalt raise your B-spec Bob children slaves to lead obedient and rigorous grinding lives.

Thou shalt never take the name of the GTR in vain.

Thou shalt not paint your Nissan GTR absurd colors such as Chrome Gold, Hot Pink, or Malibu-Barbie green.

Thou shalt not play overly loud music (or sing :ouch:) into thine chat mic under any circumstances.

Thou shalt not have any other games before mine. (Forza:tdown:)
 
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Thou shall own one of the $20,000,000 cars, or thou are unholy in the name of Kaz.

-or-

Thou shall make every possible honest effort to save thy credits to make one of the Holy Purchases ($20,000,000 cars) to honor the Almighty Kaz.
 
Thou shalt attempt the Redbull X1 challenge repeatedly until you develop blisters on thy fingers.
 
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The Gran Turismo Creed

I believe in one God
the Yamauchi almighty
maker of the GT series,
of all things GTR and Miata.

I believe in one Kazunori
the only begotten son of God
born of the Father before all ages.
Car from Car, Paint from Paint,
true Bob from true Bob,
begotten, not made, consubstantial with the Father;
through him all things were made.
For us racers and our salvation
he came down from Heaven,
and by Sony Computer Entertainment,
created Polyphony Digital,
and became awesome.

For our sake he was controlled by SCE
he suffered deadlines and was pissed
but released Spec 2.0 and DLC
in accordance with the fanbase.
He went off to the Nurburgring
and is seated at the wheel of an X2010.
He will come one day in glory
to judge the loyal and those who left
and his kingdom will have no end.

I believe in the physics engine, the Lord, the giver of life,
who proceeds from Kaz and his team,
who with Kaz and PD is adored and glorified,
who has spoken through the players.

I believe in one holy, wonderful and lovable series.
I confess one account for the forgiveness of duping
and I look forward to resurrection of GT5
and the life of GT to come. Amen.​
 

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