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Don't be a Johnny1996
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Don't be a Johnny1996
Tip: honesty is the best policy regarding disabilities, but you need to specify which one. No one has ever broken up with me for being an Autist... But several girls have given me a chance to explain something which didn't come out right, because of the Autism.
And, any advice for my predicament?
Depends.... Normally, you can tell how accepting someone will be. I generally let them know soon
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Hmm..... NO!
Go ahead.
I just feel if you can't say to her that it is making you jealous and worried, seems wrong. But if its goes to that point man. It wouldn't work out.
My longest relationship was 8 years. At the time, my gf was hanging out with her" older brother" then one day, she finally told me that she cheated on me with him and all I could say"I still care and here for you...I just can't do anything because I lived two states away, I am disappointed but I will be there" If she doesn't have time for you, then it shouldn't be worth it but hear her side of the story also. ( I have been tree'd)United6694
Well, lately I've been talking to this really sweet, lovey-dovey guy on Facebook...but I need to tell a story to explain my situation, and ask for some help/advice.
Okay, so everyone here knows I'm gay, I think. I found that out two years ago, because there was this guy I started talking to, his name was Noah. He was just amazing, I loved talking to him (we met on some app, were about the same age and both loved the same music, so we started talking). Eventually though, I realized that I really liked him, not just as a friend. Freaked me out, so I was really super worried about it (I had never ever admitted I was gay before, even to myself).
So I didn't say anything, but after a few weeks he asked what was wrong (he got to the point where he could tell something was wrong just by my voice, when we talked). I just...kind of broke down and told him everything, started crying a lot. He said it was okay, and he told me HE FELT THE SAME WAY. How often does that actually happen?!
Anyway, we started dating after that, even if only online. (He lived just one state away.) I kind of really fell hard for him, and I know it was only my first relationship...but I kinda loved Noah, we talked everyday and I just loved his voice, how he looked....all that junk.
Well anyway, around Christmas time in 2012 he told me his Grandad died (he loved him, he looked to him as a father I guess). It really got to the poor guy, he was just bawling every time we got on the phone, it made me so sick to think of him crying all alone in his room all the time.
I kept comforting him...but a week after that my parents found our conversations, and thought it was bad for me to be so close to someone online. So...they took my phone. The next time I was able to try and talk to him again, he told me he hated me, he was convinced that I had abandoned him.
Anyway, that really messed me up, I've been depressed ever since. I never told anyone how I felt, was too shy to tell my parents.... I felt guilty, and I worried about him SO MUCH...it made me really depressed, made me think of...well you know. Anyway....I've tried to move on, and I really really have (I don't cry about him all the time now), but it's just made me a nervous wreck for getting back into a relationship.
WHICH brings me to my point. For a few weeks now I've been talking to someone on Facebook, and I've kind of got a crush on him. (My parents would be sooooo upset if they knew, they're not against me being gay, but they don't want me in online relationships at all.) He is just soooo sweet to me, but not in a way like he's taking advantage of me, he's just nice. He's also bi, but has a bf already. He even told me that if he was single, he likes me a little bit...but what do I do? He knows about Noah...but I'm just really scared about this situation, I don't want to make a mistake and do something stupid.
I'm sorry for all this, and I'm sorry if it annoyed anyone, I just don't know what to do right now.
Oh, and I'd like to thank @Odnmore for the immense amount of courage and confidence he's given me, he's helped me through this more than anyone ever has.
Oh
I'll try to make this as short as possible without missing anything and to avoid boring everyone
Basically me and my ex split up after about 14 months together, however we remained good friends and both thought we'd end up back together eventually.
She had a close male mate who she told me she could have with a click of her fingers but then told me not to worry (how?)
So I kicked of and said it was me or his friendship and she chose me which obviously was good.
Now we're tryin to get back together there is another bloke who she has been friends with for ages and when we broke up she got chatting to him again as she wasn't speaking to any blokes while she was with me.
She's been to see him and her other mates who live near him a few times now and she's told me that he has told her he fancies her however she still has feelings for me and until she knew what was happening between us wouldn't even think about going out with this other guy.
Now this has my back up because even tho I'm not properly with her I can't help but think what's goin on between them when she goes to see him and her other mates. She's never given me reason to not trust her but the fact that he fancies her makes me sick with worry and she does nothing to reassure me.
The biggest issue is she said in no uncertain terms that if we get back together she can go and see him and talk to him whenever and I'm having to pretend to be ok with that because I want her back when inside I'm very much not ok with that...
So I guess in summary, have I got any reason/right to be upset/angry/annoyed or should I just man up and hope that it doesn't come back to bite me?
Many thanks to everyone who read this through
I still have no idea whether she is like 30 or whether I need to contact the police.
Glad you sensed the humour in it. She was the best looking girl I've seen in a long time, though...Maybe she is trying to be friendly
my dad's comment said something about "cougars" Until I found out she had a husband... At first I thought she was joking to prevent anyone from getting close to her, but one wild day I met her man. And boy, what an awful surprise... the guy was at least in her late 30's and was very, very horrible...
no accounting for tastes, I suppose. Or, better yet, a guy who was single for that long has money that a 20 something doesn't...
A bit late, but:
- Don't apologize for a long story.
- He's a Facebook friend (that may or may not live nearby?), who is already in a relationship. Steer clear of people so willing to shop around.
Warning alarms went off when you mentioned she wasn't talking to other guys when you were together. That sort of isolated behaviour hardly ever works in a relationship; if one (or both) of you are that insecure and paranoid about the other looking elsewhere, you probably shouldn't be in a relationship. I have a friend that's in the sort of relationship where they won't even watch certain movies if an actor/actress they find particularly attractive is in it. Seriously. Want to guess at how happy they are?
That being said, if you really think she's worth it, then tell her this current situation makes you uneasy. As you already said, she's chosen you before in a similar situation.
Oh, and just because you've been cheated on before, don't put that on any other woman other than the one that did it. It's natural to be worried once it's happened to you, sure, but it should go without saying that everybody is different
Little update
I've now been told that this guy is coming up to see her while she's off work in September, I'm also off work in September which she knows. Admittedly I don't know if the dates match up yet but if they do I'll be beyond angry.
So the guy who fancies my girlfriend is coming up to hers and as of yet I don't know how long for or where he's staying but it's JUST him so it'll be those too alone. Que an insecure mind to go into overdrive... I just felt sick when she told me, my stomach dropped :/ what is wrong with me?
I know she's chosen me before but she has made it 100% clear that will not happen again.
I know and I don't want to cause it'll always hold me back but it's hard not to especially because I thought it was happening and got proved right :/
I hear what your saying and trust me I wish I could be like yh whatever about this other guy but I just can't because she doesn't make any effort to reasure me. And even if she did cause he fancys her id always be suspicious.
Little update
I've now been told that this guy is coming up to see her while she's off work in September, I'm also off work in September which she knows. Admittedly I don't know if the dates match up yet but if they do I'll be beyond angry.
So the guy who fancies my girlfriend is coming up to hers and as of yet I don't know how long for or where he's staying but it's JUST him so it'll be those too alone. Que an insecure mind to go into overdrive... I just felt sick when she told me, my stomach dropped :/ what is wrong with me?
Still, take his advise.
