The General Relationship Thread

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I feel a little weird posting about this considering my age but who cares. This might be a little long too.

So, last weekend the girl I was seeing broke it off for a crap reason after everything was fine and I had issue with her letting me know a round about time to hang out on Sunday which ended up turning into a argument. She didn't like to make plans because she had things to do at her parents and would be home late. I said that's fine just let me know something but never heard from her for few hours or response to the text after a nap. She was on her way home around 6 pm and I said you couldn't have given me that info so I could make sure I was ready to go or just not tied up with something. She didn't see my point and finally I asked do you even want to be with someone because you don't seem like it. Oops wrong thing to say, and she thought on it. Long story short, her reason for ending it was she had too much on her plate with buying a house, sisters new job (lives with her), cousin moving in and work. So out the door I went, her loss though as no races for her!

Now funny thing is I was talking to this girl at work and she always thought I was a redneck because I'm a big country looking guy, but was super shocked I dated black girls but then the kicker is she loves racing. She also said to be a big white guy you sure are confident, I said why wouldn't I be? I love the stereotype that because I'm white, big and grew up in country I have no game.
 
Why do people always say High Schools can't love? Sure those people who have been with someone they just met for a week probably don't love each other, but when you've been with a person for 10 months and you want to spend every waking hour, good and bad, and always happy around them? Unfortunately my girlfriend didn't think so though, so she said I didn't really love her cause I was 14. She also said that since she was my first girlfriend I couldn't love her cause I didn't know what that feels like. I think love is just like happiness and sadness, the first time you experience them you know what they are, because they're pre-programmed in our minds.

What do you guys think?
 
It's me and my girlfriends 1 year anniversary on the 25th and I all ready know I'm going to marry this girl! Not rushing into things but I cant imagine it going any other way.
 
What do you guys think?

Frankly, those in high school don't know much about life at all because they haven't had to face the trials adults do. Relationships are tested far more as an adult, where time, money, and obligations are far more pressing and trying.

Most high school "love" tends to be infatuation rather than actual love, a result of the high strung hormones that accompany that age. At 14, you don't know what you are going to do with your life, let alone who you'll be with, in my opinion. For example, I was going to be a physicist and marry some wonderful nerd girl; a decade later and I'm divorced and better know for my photography and artistic endeavors than science, no degree, and certainly not where I thought I'd be.

Basically, go read Great Expectations
 
Azuremen
Frankly, those in high school don't know much about life at all because they haven't had to face the trials adults do. Relationships are tested far more as an adult, where time, money, and obligations are far more pressing and trying.

Most high school "love" tends to be infatuation rather than actual love, a result of the high strung hormones that accompany that age. At 14, you don't know what you are going to do with your life, let alone who you'll be with, in my opinion. For example, I was going to be a physicist and marry some wonderful nerd girl; a decade later and I'm divorced and better know for my photography and artistic endeavors than science, no degree, and certainly not where I thought I'd be.

Basically, go read Great Expectations

Wait, your married and divorced by 24?
 
Hey guys! How show buisiness? Anyways, I'm back and the girl I liked I believe is desperate or just found someone else. What should I do? I'm hurting...
:(
 
Means, she found a mate and I need to move on.
But how do I?

You just do.

More so by not worrying about it as much and kind of just accepting that you can't do much about it and never had much control over it anyhow.
 
Azuremen
You just do.

More so by not worrying about it as much and kind of just accepting that you can't do much about it and never had much control over it anyhow.

Yeah, you're right...
Only thing is she acted all lovey-dovey around me and next thing you know, she's with someone else. Not even friendly hugs or anything. Typical... :grumpy:
 
I feel a little uncomfortable posting in this thread, but oh well.

At the age of 14, I have never had a true girlfriend. I do have a girl in my class in which we both trust each other, as well tell all of our secrets. She is my source of relationship advice, though I wouldn't date her myself.

Coming from a small town, I've known practically everyone since kindergarten. The girls in my class are...horrid...=P...which is why I have decided to try to date a freshman girl (I'm 8th. The Freshmen girls often do this, as the classes are so small that everyone has dated everybody). I'm not the "hottest" guy in the world. But I am not butt ugly. She, in my mind, is beautiful.

Problem is, we have never really established a talk with each other, besides a few "Hi's" and "What's up's?", which is why I'm worried to start a talk with her. I plan to start attempting to talk with her Friday, so I can actually have a topic of discussion instead of having no idea of what I'll talk about (topic is Thanksgiving). Another problem is, well, I'm the popular kid. It's not necessarily a problem, it's just that if I were to date her, there would be LOADS of unwanted attention on myself and her.

Her personality is fun-loving (can do), energetic (can do), and sporty (I play sports as well).
 
Patrick
You're 14, don't worry about having a girlfriend.

X2!!!

I liked girls at that age but didn't really care about having a GF. Honestly I think you should wait til after high school or mature enough to not let one affect your school, sports, etc. I made that mistake which I'm still paying for (no kid just college), and it's one regret I have is not doing better in high school or not wrestling my Jr year because of a girl.

Speaking of that.

Is it me or are all females a little nutty because I seem really awesome at finding the crazies. One of my female friends even wonders how I do it, no matter how I meet them or their status, they all suck at communication and respect/understanding.
 
Yer, girlfriends at this age aren't a necessity... however humans are controlled by want instead of need so :lol:
Generally the only way to start talking to a girl (I've found) is through naturally engaging in conversation instead of forcing one into action. It's how I've found it with various girl I'm friends with, like this: my best friend I 'met' in maths, I sat next to her, I wouldn't have spoken to her at all had it not been for the fact my friend was sat diagonally behind me and hers next to him... sorry if I've confused you, I went off track and into tropical tundra regions :lol:
The point is let it happen on it's own, if it doesn't there's plenty more sheep in the fields... what can't a guy be creative? ;)
 
The point is let it happen on it's own, if it doesn't there's plenty more sheep in the fields... what can't a guy be creative? ;)

- And if it doesn't happen, you know, that she's not the right one for you. And, yes. A guy can be creative!
 
The thread, it's not breathing! Quickly! *bump*
Looks like I may have some luck with a girl, now two of my friends say we definitely flirt with each other... not only I flirt, we both do. I mean I didn't see it as first but I suppose her laughing at everything remotely funny I say could be constituted, and she seems fairly comfortable around me but I guess that's because I showed her I'm fairly weird so she's not afraid to act weird around me 👍
 
Well this is my tale...

In about a months time I'm finally gonna be done with my education, and I was gonna move to a different city to live with my girlfriend, with whom I've been with for 4½ years. I quit my job, and my appartment, and was getting excited about moving.

When I woke up 24 hours ago, I was happy. I was gonna go see my girlfriend, because there was a couple of things she wanted sorted out before we were gonna live together. Now I had a feeling she wasn't being completely honest with me. But not a week ago, she reasured me over the phone, that it wasn't like that, and it was just about some of the practical things. I Believed her.
In the 4½ years, we've been together we have gone through 10 years worth of crap (her mother died of cancer and the aftermath of that, I lost my grandmother and the aftermath of that, she had surgery (that may result in her not being able to have kids), a long distance relationship for more than a year (with all the things that brings), etc. etc.), but we always came out the other side.

Well... this time we didn't. I'm not gonna go into details about what was said, but just that she revealed that she had been in doubt for a long time, but basically just didn't have the guts to act on it.
I'm gonna admit, at times I've had my doubts aswell, but I didn't anymore, as I said, I was happy, and I thought she was too, the last three months have been really great, we talked alot about what we were gonna do with the apartment and everything...

And now this!

I hate her so much for doing this to me... I HATE HER!!

...I love her, and the thought of not being with her anymore is killing me...

I still can't believe this happened - 24 hours ago I was happy!
 
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Tough break, 250GTO. Life sure does feel over in those situations and I'd like to say from experience that time does heal, but you probably won't realise it right now.

Anyhow, Mrs. Shem is back tomorrow night and I'm so glad. I'm really quite a useless person without a driving force to get me doing stuff. I've barely even eaten properly while she's been gone and I've certainly not even considered doing any chores.

I won't be taking her for granted, me needs looking after!
 
250 GTO - Hold on guy. This, too, shall pass. Easy to say - but painfully true. Immerse yourself in activity - don't sit around and let thoughts gnaw at your brain.
Every time a thought of her, or what was to be, comes into your head, make a deliberate decision to change that thought.
Concentrate on what you have to be grateful for. Examine your life and try to find everything you have to be grateful for. Gratitude kills depression.
There are many women in this world - you never noticed them, nor did they have a chance with you because you were already taken. This opens a new door for you,
Try to remain friends - even as casual friends - but with NO thought of getting back to her - your time together is done, and the lessons you have to teach each other are over.
Prepare now for the new person, who is - even as I type this - heading towards you at the speed of thought. Read, exercise, eat, develop the beauty of your face by smiling more. :)
This way, when you and your potential new partner meet, you will be ready for the next chapter in your life. I wish you one of the best chapters ever.
Cheers,
Harry. 👍
 
250 GTO - Hold on guy. This, too, shall pass. Easy to say - but painfully true....

One of the best bits of advise I've heard 👍

Well things are looking promising with the girl I like, we had a very funny Spanish lesson. She's very giddy and hyper around me now which I personally find quite entertaining and I seem to be entertaining her fairly well also.
Not going to make a move till I'm a tad more sure.
 
photonrider Well ain't you Mr. the cup is half full :)
I'm sure all the things you write is true, I just have a hard time agreeing with them at the present. A little bonus info to the story is, that this is the first real girlfriend I've ever had, so I haven't been through all this before, which i guess, hardly makes it any easier...

But I'm sure you're right, Miss right is out there somewhere... I just don't care at the moment :guilty:
 
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250 GTO -
Thank you for such a polite response. This shows you have self-control, and I'm already confident that life will only get better for you.
I stuck my neck out there for a moment to give you a pat on the back and a chuck-up of the chin - knowing fully well that you had a perfect right to lose it and bite my head off.
But that's what friends are for - we sometimes have to stick our necks out and risk being bitten because we must be honest with you. Real friends are.
It's not easy to lose a life-partner. Or best friend. Or soul mate. Or whatever you, on looking back, found her to be in your time together. It's harder when people just 'pooh, pooh' it away as if it was just a bump on the highway. It wasn't. It isn't - it's a life-changing scenario.
But here's also what I got from your response - that you think the cup is half-full. No, my friend - it isn't. It's half-empty. That is the happiest part of it right now.
Think of your previous-full glass as containing very muddy water. You've now emptied half of it. Maybe you should empty as much as you can. This only leads to MORE space being left in that glass to be filled with the sparkling fresh water that you are now going to fill it with. Fresh water that will dilute that muddy taste and give you fresh life.
If there was no emptying - there wouldn't be space to fill all that beautiful new water.

From what I gather - you were about to start a fresh life - all appointments readied - with her.
Well. She's not part of that equation, obviously. Someone else is. You're ready - empty portion of your life waiting to be filled an all. 👍 :)
Good Luck and may the Force always be with you.
Harry.
 
photonrider
Once again, thank you for the kind words. You are right it would be easy for me to lose my temper. But 2012 haven't exactly been my year (I proclaimed it would be, when it started - go figure), and I'm tired of being angry and pessimistic. It leads to nothing. Sure I could be out of my mind with rage, because I gave up my appartment, and now because she dumped me, I don't have a place to live come febuary 1... but what's that gonna help?

Strangely enough what really helped me, was the line you wrote - your time together is done, and the lessons you have to teach each other are over. I've been turning that over and over in my mind, and even though I still hope the phone will ring, and she changed her mind - I know you're right
 

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