Well here is the thing. The "friendzone" is the act of rejection. The truth to the matter is that at least with me, when guys come up to me and talk to me about this, what they are missing is that if someone isn't interested in you, she may have been talking to you as a friend the whole time. Look, I understand that guys have this stereotype about not showing their feelings and what not, but more often than not, when you do like a girl, you go all out. Sometimes, when you are meeting people you just don't want for them to get all mushy and lovey dovey so fast because we are still MEETING each other. And just because we are meeting each other it doesn't mean it will escalate to a serious relationship. Simply because I don't know you. And you don't know me.
This applies of course to when a guy likes this girl who he doesn't know and he tried to get to know her. If you've been friends with the girl for a really long time, then that's something different, none of what I said above applies. But in the end. The friendzone doesn't exist. You either were always her friend or someone she's interested in.
Besides, anyone can become someone of interest. You know, being her friend and she taking interest in you. Thus giving you the opportunity to actually go date her. You just gotta know how to act and what to do at the right moment. Not just throw yourself.
But, it does in a sense & you described how; it is an act of rejection because you are seen as a friend, not a person she wants to date. "I like you...as a friend".
The act of being "friendzoned" usually happens because upon first interaction, men don't make their intentions clear. It's as you said; they don't like to go all out. They get to know the girl, but because they never make their intentions of a relationship clear early on, most women end up finding the guy as a friend; he hasn't asked me out by this point, so he must want to be friends. By the time the guy gets around to it, that's what stuck in her mind; friends. (If a guy however does make his intentions clear & gets rejected, that's not being friendzoned) And from my experience, it's very hard for a woman to disregard a guy as a friend into a boyfriend. You ladies can pick up on our personalities & traits very fast, so if we haven't asked you out early enough in the time we've known each other, you can make a very quick decision as to whether or not we're the person you want to date. All the talks, activities, & what not only reveal more about us & make your decision easier.
Hence the act of the first dates & what not. We're getting to know each other on more personal levels early on, but we don't know each other enough to be friends. By which point, you ladies again, typically know if you want us as a companion or a partner.
The friendzone is just a funny thing. Women tend to not acknowledge it & men over-exaggerate it. It's only hard to "crawl" out of because the girl knows so much about the man by that point. Make your intentions clear you're not looking to be friends & go from there. But that's all it is; men who waited too long to ask a girl out.
The only difficulty in it is the ice breaker, the initial asking, & finding the balance of how to keep the girl happy whilst not seeming needy. Of course, that's the male way of it. I'm sure women have their own ways.
The only answer a lot of guys in this thread could benefit from is confidence. There's no definitive way to talk or ask a girl out. But, as long as you have confidence in yourself & cut straight to the point, the quicker you'll receive your answer. And a "No" just means other fish in the sea.
