- 6,638
- Mexico City
- MoLieG
The General Relationship Thread
- Thread starter Type S Tony
- 5,254 comments
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- 1,944
- It's cold here
- The_EH_Team_43
Well, that escalated quickly
I do feel it's a trap. Maybe the guy that replaced me dumped her, I don't know. (Don't know that for sure, but something she said makes me think it's a possibility.)
And I don't feel like returning to my sadness problems...
You sound like you're still considering. Stop it. Stop now. Block all contact with her. I should not have to repeat this or this many of us over the course of this whole ordeal. She's bad for you (or anyone really) and if you go back it will he like having Mike Tyson beat you up and then after that asking him to do it again. Stay away from that bitch.
- 1,853
- A field in England
You really need to ask advice? Isn't the answer obvious? Get rid of her. Tell her to go away.Well, that escalated quickly
I do feel it's a trap. Maybe the guy that replaced me dumped her, I don't know. (Don't know that for sure, but something she said makes me think it's a possibility.)
And I don't feel like returning to my sadness problems...
- 6,638
- Mexico City
- MoLieG
Believe me. I know she is pure evil. When I saw her face on my whatsapp chat I literally screamed like if the devil himself had contacted me. I was scared, angry, I panicked, I felt so mad 
I almost cry... I was like "Why, why did you come back????"
Not a single "I'm sorry", not anything... just that "I still love you", and that doesn't fix anything. That doesn't give me back everything I lost with her... It only confused me a lot...
And believe me guys, I'm not considering returning... I'm not that dumb... I told her that if she doesn't want to be involved in a fully committed, balanced relationship or at least change a little bit her nasty way of being, then I'm not her man...
Hasn't texted me since Sunday... and I hope it stays that way...
I almost cry... I was like "Why, why did you come back????" Not a single "I'm sorry", not anything... just that "I still love you", and that doesn't fix anything. That doesn't give me back everything I lost with her... It only confused me a lot...
And believe me guys, I'm not considering returning... I'm not that dumb... I told her that if she doesn't want to be involved in a fully committed, balanced relationship or at least change a little bit her nasty way of being, then I'm not her man...
Hasn't texted me since Sunday... and I hope it stays that way...
- 6,638
- Mexico City
- MoLieG
I hope it's not necessary to follow that route. I mean, we talked about feelings and stuff, but since I'm free of having to be nice with her, I finally told her about many of the nasty things she made and said to me, how many times I could have easily rip her apart or how many opportunities I had to quit and cancel our engagement... and still, no remorse, no regret...
At that point it was when I told her I wasn't his man if she wanted a no compromise relationship. I'm no one's back up plan... and a few exchanges later, she just said "We'll talk later, take care, I love you"...
- 6,638
- Mexico City
- MoLieG
I know I've been very nice... but I have this inner conflict that doing that would make me just like her. To be honest, I thought that by finally letting her know about some things she did that made me feel miserable would at least make her have some sort of... you know, guilt. But it didn't happen.
Now I know she ain't changing, and I don't wanna live again in a world where I'm always the bad guy no matter what.
- 11,511
- United States
Here's the issue: She wants to be an adult so badly, and shes only 19 keep in mind, and she is going into her second year of university, and she wants to get out of university so fast, and wants to settle down, and she literally had a melt down, last moprning because shes like "I cant do this, we need to break up, we are not compatible..." By the way this all got triggered from her pushing me to get my US Citizenship, WHEN, i dont have control over it because my dad's company deals with it. I have no clue why she pushed that on me. Oh Right, Because she wants me to move to Montreal, just so i can be back in my apartment. The fact she started nudging in that was not necessary and i told her to stop and she didnt listen of course. Then i ended the phone call, and she was in a bad mood as-well.... Ontop of that shes terrible at long distance, and she doesnt feel like she "loves" me when we are 80 Miles apart for the summer, and she is such a dependent person on people, and when she gets lonely she gets super depressed and hates everything, and then she hates me...
Anyway.
I called her back and told her what i felt, and then she replies "Ill tell you this, This relationship has actually made me think about myself more then ever before. Probably because of how bad i am at long distance. You are right, we are young... and that changes alot of things. But it also annoys me because i want to be an adult so badly, And am trying to get as close to that as possible, and im the problem right now."
Ugh.
- 28,471
- Windsor, Ontario, Canada
- Johnnypenso
Translated, this is what I see here:Believe me. I know she is pure evil. When I saw her face on my whatsapp chat I literally screamed like if the devil himself had contacted me. I was scared, angry, I panicked, I felt so mad
Not a single "I'm sorry", not anything... just that "I still love you", and that doesn't fix anything. That doesn't give me back everything I lost with her... It only confused me a lot...
And believe me guys, I'm not considering returning... I'm not that dumb... I told her that if she doesn't want to be involved in a fully committed, balanced relationship or at least change a little bit her nasty way of being, then I'm not her man...
Hasn't texted me since Sunday... and I hope it stays that way...
"Guys I'm not that dumb, I'm not considering returning. Then I told her the conditions under which I will return and left it up to her to tell me what I want to hear" Sounds to me like all she has to do is agree to be in a balanced relationship and you'll go running right back.
- 27,385
- Toronto
- NewAesthetic
- SlipZtrEm
You're not considering returning, but you gave her conditions on which you could be in a relationship with her? You even set the bar hilariously low: "a little bit".
You had a recent status update about completing another semester's worth of a Master's. You are smarter than this — continuing talking to this person is akin to lighting a firework and holding it in your hand to "study" science.
- 6,638
- Mexico City
- MoLieG
I intentionally "set the bar too low" because of one single reason: She can't even do that. Believe me. She had all the tools to avoid and stop the conflict we had months ago but instead she chose the path of destruction. Being "reasonable" is not in her vocabulary. Good thing is, all these months and days without her allowed me to be severe enough to finally tell her how bad she was to me and what a bad person she was.
- 28,471
- Windsor, Ontario, Canada
- Johnnypenso
A man (or woman) who truly wants to be done doesn't set a bar at all. They don't leave the door open even a hair. You can be polite and say thank you very much or impolite and cut her off completely. But the fact that you even offered to negotiate the terms of your surrender, no matter how low the odds of acceptance, means you're still interested. She sounds manipulative and it doesn't take much to figure out what you want to hear. Maybe she will, maybe she wont tell you what you want to hear, but I think you need to be really honest with yourself about what you are really thinking and feeling.
I'm not trying to beat you up. We've all been there, me included. I just don't want you to get run through the ringer again. Those of us that have been down that road and gotten burned can see all the signs as if they are flourescent road signs lit up by halogen headlights.
- 3,718
- Null Island
Backstory: Fell hard for Girl 1 for like a year and a half, ask her out, don't hear back, find out a week later she's seeing someone.
Update: Girl 1 gets a job in her dream field, won't be coworkers much longer, might as well see what her answer would've been had I been quicker on asking her out. Would've likely been no, she sees me more as a friend. Was expecting it, actually reading the answer was the worst part. Not the tone, she was quite nice about it.
And now that that particular storyline has been resolved, we can get back to:
Update: Girl 1 gets a job in her dream field, won't be coworkers much longer, might as well see what her answer would've been had I been quicker on asking her out. Would've likely been no, she sees me more as a friend. Was expecting it, actually reading the answer was the worst part. Not the tone, she was quite nice about it.
And now that that particular storyline has been resolved, we can get back to:
- 28,471
- Windsor, Ontario, Canada
- Johnnypenso
As someone who's Bindere Dundat, married someone with a child and dated others, my advice would be to not get involved with or even meet the child or children for some time. At least 3 months preferably closer to 6. IMO it's not fair to the children that they both get attached to you when you may not be sticking around (how can you know that in less than 3 months?) and that they have to deal with their mother showing affection to another man who is not their father and whom they don't really know. You have to develop a relationship with her first and to do that and really get to know her it should be just the two of you together. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that someone that was insistent on you meeting or hanging out with her and the kids early on in the relationship would be a knockout factor for me. It wreaks of a sense of desperation and of someone who isn't too particular about who her kids hang out with and whom they get attached to. A good mother should be pretty protective of her children and really want to scope you out and get to know you before introducing you to the kids.
- 3,718
- Null Island
Update: ALL the mixed messages on if she's single or not. Playing things by ear.
- 8,828
- Ottawa
- Automotive_Buff
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- 6,638
- Mexico City
- MoLieG
So, 3 weeks ago I decided that I was ready to start again and go out and find a new girl. However, since I didn't know where or how to start, I installed Tinder on my phone.
My Results after those 3 weeks? 0 matches
Also, I asked out a girl from the office. She didn't say no, (in fact, she asked me why I took me so long to ask her out) but we haven't seen each other yet. Next week we are going together to a Training Course, so there will be plenty of time to talk and work out a day for our date after we are done with office business.
Ohh, and I finally erased my ex from my life. After all, it was easy & painless. I just hope she stays away forever this time. I'm glad to inform you I'm finally done with her.
My Results after those 3 weeks? 0 matches
Also, I asked out a girl from the office. She didn't say no, (in fact, she asked me why I took me so long to ask her out) but we haven't seen each other yet. Next week we are going together to a Training Course, so there will be plenty of time to talk and work out a day for our date after we are done with office business.
Ohh, and I finally erased my ex from my life. After all, it was easy & painless. I just hope she stays away forever this time. I'm glad to inform you I'm finally done with her.
I'll try the other app if I have to discard both her and Tinder.
