The General Relationship Thread

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Ok that's tough

Try to do your best, hang out as much as you can, make the time you have left close to her worth it.

I'm not fond of long distance relationships, but at least you can try it, as you said earlier, you've found a unicorn and I think you have to do your best to keep the relationship.

Would you need excuses to go back to where you live now or there's relatives/friends living there? You can try to visit them and her every now and then.
 
Leverage your emotions with rational thoughts. Be honest with yourself.

How long do you think you could maintain a long term relationship?

Knowing that we are all humans, we all run off of physical contact with people we have emotional and physical attractions to.

Could you deal with seeing her only time to time as apposed to often?

It seems that she's a lovely girl, and I wouldn't let the diabetes get in the way of the relationship when the question of you leaving the area is there.

I suggest you try, but be noticeable of your behavior and hers. As with a lot of things, trying could be a start to something completely new.

-----

Got another opportunity to ask for a girl's number, but eh..

I went to an office supply shop to buy a new journal and the girl trying to help me was trying very hard to sell me one I didn't want. (They didn't have the one I wanted.)

I started teasing her efforts and low key flirting with her. She noticed that I wasn't budging, so we started conversing. She was amazed at the pendant I was wearing after she found it I made it. She complimented my bag goofily then we went on to talking about hiking. Started recommending trails we've been to, etc.

She then started complaining about her job and she asked if where I was working was hiring, but I just shrugged.

I should have got her number based on the cool conversation we were having. That said, women are very fun to speak to.
 
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Well, my ex gave back the 4ft teddy bear I gave her. My mom gladly took it, and gave him a new name. And now is the mascot for her tutoring business :lol:
 
TheKitten
Well, my ex gave back the 4ft teddy bear I gave her. My mom gladly took it, and gave him a new name. And now is the mascot for her tutoring business :lol:
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That's both sad and funny, somehow.


I agree, women are rather fun to talk to. It's a shame I'm not very good at it. :lol: Not necessarily talking to girls, but people in general to be honest. I was always extremely shy and I have only recently started to come out of my shell, as I kind of need to seeing as I work in retail and it's literally my job to be good at talking to people. In school I was able to talk to girls no problem, I was never really one of those guys that couldn't physically talk to the opposite sex, nor when I was much younger did I ever think girls were "yucky" so I had quite a few friends in school that were girls, many of which I liked and it seemed they liked me too, but I never made any moves, so they moved onto something else. I really don't want that to happen with this girl. Some part of me thinks that I'm hesitant to ask her out because I'm too afraid to date, maybe because I have never dated properly, and my last relationships left a sour taste in my mouth, or I'm too worried about :censored:ing it up, but I think if we did date for a bit, and it blew up in my face later, I would come out wiser and more confident.
 
Well, I'm back to the old "I'm not interested in her anymore" shtick. The only interaction I had with her today was a rather stale greeting from her which alone didn't necessarily send me into a spiral, it just added to it. After my last post I started to think about all of my missed opportunities from back in high school, of which there were many. (This all occurred over the span of 4 or 5 years.) I remember getting really hung up on one girl who totally friend zoned me, but I didn't realize it until later. That screwed up a few chances I could have had with other girls. One such girl used to hang out in the same spot myself and the girl that I would later realize was "just a friend" and I didn't want her to think I was into someone else, so I was very hesitant when they were both around. My friend who knew myself and the other girl kept pestering me to ask her out, ad he would always give me bits of info here and there as they had a few classes together. That wasn't to be however, which in hindsight is a good thing, as she had a few issues. I'm not sure why I got so hung up on this girl, or why I didn't see the signs sooner. One time she randomly introduced me to one of her friends, which like a moron I did nothing about, as clearly her friend was interested in me, so she had her introduce her to me. I'm not sure why I didn't do anything about this, it was obvious that this girl liked me, even played the "Oh I forgot your name" trick where she would constantly call me by a name that was very obviously not at all similar to my name. Another girl I liked because she was very cute, in an adorable, innocent kind of way, but she had a really raunchy sense of humor which I really liked a lot, and she was kind of into cars as well. But of course I was still hung up on other things so I never asked her out. I'm pretty sure she liked me too. Such a shame. She then sort of moved on as I never made a move, and got a boyfriend, who I saw her with once and she gave me this very awkward, almost sad look. The biggest 🤬 up of all however started at the very beginning of this 5 year timeline, went away for a bit in the middle, then came back towards the end, but would go nowhere. One of my biggest regrets in life is that I didn't ask this girl out. I liked everything about her. We were forced to sit next to each other in a class, which at the time we didn't know each other at all. However I got to know here so well, and I really enjoyed talking to her. She was funny, cool, cute and I felt so comfortable around her. We had a bunch of inside jokes, and we both made a few new friends with each others friends. I was very confident around her. After a while we just didn't end up seeing each other much, and once again, because I didn't make a move she found someone else. It didn't last very long though, as this guy wasn't that great. I thought I was way better in many ways, which considering my low self esteem, is saying something. One day she was hanging out with her friends at the front entrance of the school, she and all of her friends stopped talking when I walked in and she gave me a very flirty "Hi!" and like the oblivious moron that I am I just said "Hello!" and kept walking. I did date a couple of girls within that span of time but neither ended very well. How does all of this relate to my current situation? Well, the girl I like now, I like mostly for physical reasons. She is very beautiful and I get such a rush whenever I see her. Whenever she smiles at my and says hi, (not like how she did today though) I just melt and am rendered useless for a few moments. However, when it comes to actual talking, I don't feel any connection. As I said a while back, I need something more casual. I always viewed her as "the ultimate goal" and that I need a more casual relationship with someone more my speed, before I start a slightly more serious one with her, or possibly someone like her. However, she isn't perfect for me, and as far as I can tell, she wants to have a casual relationship, so, why not a fling with her? I mean my attraction is mostly based on looks and how she makes me feel, so maybe something casual, would make more sense with a girl like her.

Apologies for the mega wall of text there.
Also, there is a girl at work who almost seems to be coming on to me, which I am not a fan of. Not necessarily because I am so attracted to the main girl that nobody else matters, but because I don't find her attractive at all and I think she's kind of annoying. So I'm trying to convey to her that I'm not at all interested without being a total jerk.
 
Honestly, I don't know what the **** I just read.

All I understand is that you're probably reading into things the wrong way, especially with women at work. Understand that these women are read by men in ways that they do not expect.

-----

Anyways, although I adore some women, dating just seems pointless to me right now.

Many people, especially my age, are looking for someone to fil their financial and emotional gaps. Loneliness, anxiety, pressures, etc. Although I can get lonely, I rarely feel the need to have a girl to date with me.

A.) I'm way too fast moving for dating a girl. (Constantly traveling.)
B.) It's either bum fashion or no fashion.
C.) I'm very straightforward and blunt with my emotions about people and things.
D.) I hardly relate with people my age.

Takes too much energy. I wish I could leap frog the beginning dating stages, you know, to see if people really give a damn about you besides a means to an end.

Maybe I'll try harder. I have all of the puzzle pieces besides two.
 
Sorry, I just kind of had to brain-dump there. Get all of that nonsense out so I can focus, and possibly put things in perspective. Plus I'm not feeling all that well, so I wouldn't be surprised if I reread that in a few days and it was all gibberish. Long story short I need to stop getting hung up on one specific person, because it always screws me over, and stop imagining that the girl I like is the best I can ever get, and that everything would go perfectly. It just needs to be simple, nothing too serious, because it's what I need and seemingly what she needs.
 
So, I started talking to this Australian girl that goes to my college. She's 19, I tagged her on a post, of a gif of a Koala wiggling its ears. with one of a her friends which i rock climbed with. And, she commented on it. And that's how we started talking! I like her! Shes quite cute, and friendly, and we do relate a lot. She likes her space, like me, She's even interested in my Disc Jockey things.
She makes me laugh too. Which is a first. :lol:

She told me today:
"Your distracting me and it's really helping! Just making me laugh and not think of anything negative "
Because her dad told her today her, that her aunt is being taken off life support. She was quite upset this morning.

:dopey:👍

@Team THRT Drift
 
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TheKitten
@Team THRT Drift
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guoze.gif
 
The last week hasn't been too great. Her greetings got slowly weaker, until she didn't even look at me. I was starting to think that once again she had given up trying to get my attention. We hadn't talked in a while, for a few weeks it was just greetings and good byes, nothing else. They were always initiated by her, which I kind of felt bad about because she seemed to be putting more effort in than I was seeing as much like myself she doesn't like to initiate conversations. I figured, Tuesdays are the days she's up front, so today I will initiate some conversations. I did just that, and as usual, it snowballed from there. When I came in, she did give me a nice "Hey!" but for a little while after, she still seemed distant. We had one little interaction and afterwards when I saw her she seemed like she was in a good mood. I doubt the two were related, but she was in a good mood none the less. We started talking here and there quite a bit, so she would smile at me a lot of the time I saw her in passing. She seemed to be looking down the hallway at me again a few times, possibly unaware that I too was looking at her, which only happens when we have good interactions. There is just too much evidence that she is interested in me. So many other times I have been able to realize that a girl was just being nice, and wasn't interested in me, but the patterns I see with her really aren't saying that "she's just being friendly," or that "she just wants to be friends." I think there really is something here. Once again however, it's a matter of how do I ask her out? I'm not sure why I am so fixated on this, possibly because I feel like I always need to say the right things to her or something. The best I can come up with so far is: "Are you doing anything on Saturday/Sunday evening?" or something along those lines.
 
V0RT3X
The last week hasn't been too great. Her greetings got slowly weaker, until she didn't even look at me. I was starting to think that once again she had given up trying to get my attention. We hadn't talked in a while, for a few weeks it was just greetings and good byes, nothing else. They were always initiated by her, which I kind of felt bad about because she seemed to be putting more effort in than I was seeing as much like myself she doesn't like to initiate conversations. I figured, Tuesdays are the days she's up front, so today I will initiate some conversations. I did just that, and as usual, it snowballed from there. When I came in, she did give me a nice "Hey!" but for a little while after, she still seemed distant. We had one little interaction and afterwards when I saw her she seemed like she was in a good mood. I doubt the two were related, but she was in a good mood none the less. We started talking here and there quite a bit, so she would smile at me a lot of the time I saw her in passing. She seemed to be looking down the hallway at me again a few times, possibly unaware that I too was looking at her, which only happens when we have good interactions. There is just too much evidence that she is interested in me. So many other times I have been able to realize that a girl was just being nice, and wasn't interested in me, but the patterns I see with her really aren't saying that "she's just being friendly," or that "she just wants to be friends." I think there really is something here. Once again however, it's a matter of how do I ask her out? I'm not sure why I am so fixated on this, possibly because I feel like I always need to say the right things to her or something. The best I can come up with so far is: "Are you doing anything on Saturday/Sunday evening?" or something along those lines.
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As long as you're confident you should be good. Even if you're awkward as hell in your delivery, she'll make it work out. Just show her that you're interested in seeing her outside the workplace.
 
V0RT3X
The last week hasn't been too great. Her greetings got slowly weaker, until she didn't even look at me. I was starting to think that once again she had given up trying to get my attention. We hadn't talked in a while, for a few weeks it was just greetings and good byes, nothing else. They were always initiated by her, which I kind of felt bad about because she seemed to be putting more effort in than I was seeing as much like myself she doesn't like to initiate conversations. I figured, Tuesdays are the days she's up front, so today I will initiate some conversations. I did just that, and as usual, it snowballed from there. When I came in, she did give me a nice "Hey!" but for a little while after, she still seemed distant. We had one little interaction and afterwards when I saw her she seemed like she was in a good mood. I doubt the two were related, but she was in a good mood none the less. We started talking here and there quite a bit, so she would smile at me a lot of the time I saw her in passing. She seemed to be looking down the hallway at me again a few times, possibly unaware that I too was looking at her, which only happens when we have good interactions. There is just too much evidence that she is interested in me. So many other times I have been able to realize that a girl was just being nice, and wasn't interested in me, but the patterns I see with her really aren't saying that "she's just being friendly," or that "she just wants to be friends." I think there really is something here. Once again however, it's a matter of how do I ask her out? I'm not sure why I am so fixated on this, possibly because I feel like I always need to say the right things to her or something. The best I can come up with so far is: "Are you doing anything on Saturday/Sunday evening?" or something along those lines.
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I'm not big on asking a woman out with an open ended question like, "are you doing anything on....". I'd rather be specific and say something like, "Hey, [movie] opens this week, would you like to go with me on Saturday night to see it?" The reason why is that it's a known entity to her, she knows what she's getting into and it's easier for her to say yes and in a way, she's also thinking partly about the event and saying yes to the event as well as you. If she says no, you have a fallback position to save face and possibly rescue the situation. "How about on Sunday?". "Babysitting your 8 year old neice? Bring her along and let's see [movie] instead.". "Don't like action movies? What would you like to see instead?

Don't be afraid of rejection. If you handle it smoothly by being prepared it actually makes you look better in her eyes. Handle it with some humour and she'll actually like you more and might question her decision. I once asked a girl out in high school and she said, "No, I don't think so", and then I pulled a prepared piece of paper out of my pocket and said, "Hold on", while I skimmed my finger down the page and then said, "I'm screwed, I don't have a response for an outright no". She said, "let me see that", and I then showed her the paper and on it I had written a series of possible responses from her and my answer to them. She laughed hysterically. It was a long time ago but it was stuff like,

"Lynn: I have to wash my hair.
Me: I'll bring the shampoo. We can wash our hair together and share styling tips afterwards. "

I never did date her, but she told all of her friends about it because it was funny and I obviously put a lot of work into it (it was a full page of foolscap, handwritten). I did end up dating one of her friends though and it was due in large part to us starting to talk to each other because she wanted to see my list. :)
 
Johnnypenso
I'm not big on asking a woman out with an open ended question like, "are you doing anything on....". I'd rather be specific and say something like, "Hey, [movie] opens this week, would you like to go with me on Saturday night to see it?" The reason why is that it's a known entity to her, she knows what she's getting into and it's easier for her to say yes and in a way, she's also thinking partly about the event and saying yes to the event as well as you. If she says no, you have a fallback position to save face and possibly rescue the situation. "How about on Sunday?". "Babysitting your 8 year old neice? Bring her along and let's see [movie] instead.". "Don't like action movies? What would you like to see instead?

Don't be afraid of rejection. If you handle it smoothly by being prepared it actually makes you look better in her eyes. Handle it with some humour and she'll actually like you more and might question her decision. I once asked a girl out in high school and she said, "No, I don't think so", and then I pulled a prepared piece of paper out of my pocket and said, "Hold on", while I skimmed my finger down the page and then said, "I'm screwed, I don't have a response for an outright no". She said, "let me see that", and I then showed her the paper and on it I had written a series of possible responses from her and my answer to them. She laughed hysterically. It was a long time ago but it was stuff like,

"Lynn: I have to wash my hair.
Me: I'll bring the shampoo. We can wash our hair together and share styling tips afterwards. "

I never did date her, but she told all of her friends about it because it was funny and I obviously put a lot of work into it (it was a full page of foolscap, handwritten). I did end up dating one of her friends though and it was due in large part to us starting to talk to each other because she wanted to see my list. :)
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Thanks for the good tips. :) Sounds like a good idea. Now I just need to figure out an event.
 
Johnnypenso
I once asked a girl out in high school and she said, "No, I don't think so", and then I pulled a prepared piece of paper out of my pocket and said, "Hold on", while I skimmed my finger down the page and then said, "I'm screwed, I don't have a response for an outright no". She said, "let me see that", and I then showed her the paper and on it I had written a series of possible responses from her and my answer to them. She laughed hysterically. It was a long time ago but it was stuff like,

"Lynn: I have to wash my hair.
Me: I'll bring the shampoo. We can wash our hair together and share styling tips afterwards. "

I never did date her, but she told all of her friends about it because it was funny and I obviously put a lot of work into it (it was a full page of foolscap, handwritten). I did end up dating one of her friends though and it was due in large part to us starting to talk to each other because she wanted to see my list. :)
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You are a genius. Just that, very brilliant.
 
I haven't posted in this thread for a while. But this thread is seriously depressing lol. Ill give an update on me though. So after that year I was unemployed I now have nearly been working for a whole year. I no longer am looking to go out with anyone at the moment. I am quite happy just to be friends. I have made a few friends who are girls which is good we literally talk about anything. This is the first step as Ive never had any friends who are girls and want to do things socially with me. I can be myself around them aswell which is good.

The hardest step for me is becoming friends let alone a relationship thats why I say friends is a good start for me. I am socialy awkward but I am coming out of my shell a bit and it is helping a big confidence booster.
 
So just had met a girl from Tinder face to face. It went well but i don't expect much since she's also with her friend (it was an impromptu meet so she didn't plan to meet me with her friend too).

Just hope she doesn't change after this meet. But if she does change then oh well.
 
I've got a bit of an awkward situation going on right now.

It's been almost 4 years since I broke up with most recent girlfriend (not getting into another one until I'm sure she's the one), and I just knew that my mother is talking wonders about me with her friends and now 2-3 of their daughters are interested in me without meeting me ever.

I knew this because female friend that met me that way told me.

I think my mother is not happy with my situation, I guess? I just talked with my mother and she went defensive.

I need help.
 
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AJHG1000
I've got a bit of an awkward situation going on right now.

It's been almost 4 years since I broke up with most recent girlfriend (not getting into another one until I'm sure she's the one), and I just knew that my mother is talking wonders about me with her friends and now 2-3 of their daughters are interested in me without meeting me ever.

I knew this because female friend that met me that way told me.

I think she's not happy with my situation, I guess? I just talked with my mother and she went defensive.

I need help.
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Wait, what? If she's a friend, why is she unhappy with the situation?
 

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