www.snpp.com is a good site. Scripts to lots of episodes.
Posted thses in another topic
Homer: Hey, look -- it's Elton John!
Elton: [getting off jet, and talking on cell phone] We had to make
an emergency landing. It's that damn chandelier again.
[technicians on the plane try to repair the chandelier, which
is throwing sparks]
Wiggum: What's he doing in Springfield?
Moe: I got it, I got it. Apu must've hired him to sing for
Manjula.
Homer: Not if I can help it. And help it, I might!
[the men approach Mr. John]
Mr. John, I'm your biggest fan. I tape-recorded all your
songs off the radio.
Ned: Aw, gee, the man's just trying to show his wife he cares for
her. How can we sabotage his labor of love?
Homer: I dunno. Gasoline, acid, I got some stuff in the trunk.
Moe: Aw, man, he's making us look like a bunch of cheapskates.
[looks down, and notices a rope that he has pressed into
service as a belt is untied] Whoa, whoa, my rope came loose.
[reties rope]
Homer: Donut?
Lisa: No, thanks. Do you have any fruit?
Homer: [offers some of the donut he's eating] This has purple stuff
inside. Purple is a fruit.
Homer: [pushing "Play"] Hmm, we didn't have a message when we left.
How very odd.
Machine: [singing] Hello, Muddah, hello, Faddah. Here I am at Camp
Granada.
Homer: Marge, is Lisa at Camp Granada?
Bart: [chuckles, holding real answering machine tape] Now to put this
tape where no one will ever listen to it.
[puts it in an Allan Sherman case]