Well based on what I know so far, 95% of people play this game, your assumption is based on what, your friends!?
Sorry to hear you have bad experience with online on PS3, but for me it works great, i was maybe once disconnected from GT5 online game.
Other then cross game chat i don't see how PD/Sony is 5 years behind from M$/360.
For me this patch doesn't kill game at all, i bought it for racing, not trading cars, and collect 1000+ cars, that i will never even drive, just to earn meaningless trophy.
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My bad experience with GT5 is nothing to do with a bad connection but the lack of online features. You ask how is Sony/PD 5 yrs behind the rest and I shall answer.
Firstly having to switch our 360s on to have a party chat is just ridiculous. This should be possible on the PS3. Now let me address the lack of online features. For starters its very basic but what really annoys me is the lack of leaderboards. Having leaderboards on a racing game is pretty much standard these days and the fact GT5 only consists of a few seasonal time trials is just laughable. Why is it arcade racing games such as Burnout, PGR had leaderboards 5yrs ago and yet here we are in 2011 and GT5 doesn't have any.
Other racing games have moved with the times and have introduced many excellent online features. For instance Forza 2 had time trial leaderboards, career, exhibition, hotlap. Also weekly tournaments, auction house etc. Moving onto another game and let me use TDU 2 as an example. This game has career leaderboards, co-op, community centre where you can upload your challenges or compete against others.
I don't mean to be rude but the problem with this site is some members haven't experienced these game features. Some like PD remain in the past and haven't moved with the times. Take for example the difference between this community and those on Forzamotorsport.net. If Forza 4 was released without leaderboards there would be bedlum on that site. Yet on here any leaderboard thread recieves very few replies but a silly thread like "what music do you listen to when playing GT5" recieves many replies. I nearly cried when I read a thread asking for members to post their nurburgring laptimes. Writing down your laptimes is something I did 10yrs ago lol.
So what online features would I of added if I was Kaz/PD? well I shall list them.
1. A Spec leaderboards would of been a must. Repeating events numerous times is much more fun if your competiting against the world and your friends. I went through the FM2 career 4 times and at no stage did it seem a chore like GT5 because of the career leaderboards.
2. Stock time trials like GT5P. Great fun because its all about skill rather than the build and tune of your car.
3. Online tournaments. Like FM2 have a qualifying session and then a knockout.
4. Auction house.
5. Matchmaking servers. This in my opinion is much better because it saves the hassle of finding a decent host.
6. Create a racing team/clan. You could even have a leaderboard for this and this could be based on how many online wins your team has managed or even base this on time trial leaderboard positions or both.
7. A community racing centre like TDU. So I could upload a challenge say 3 laps around Rome using the Enzo. The leaderboard for this event would be based on the quickest overall time after the 3 laps. Basically just like TDU 2.
Many of the above is standard these days and yet GT5 doesn't have any of these!