I need dating advice!

Skid Mark 33 · Oct 30, 2007

There is this girl at my school that I really like, but I'm not really sure how to ask her out because I have never had a girlfriend before. Can anyone give me any advice...

McLaren · Oct 30, 2007

Suck it up and do it. Worst she can say is no.

Danoff · Oct 30, 2007

Skid Mark 33
There is this girl at my school

How old are you? Are we talking Middle, High, or College?

Skid Mark 33 · Oct 30, 2007

*McLaren*
Suck it up and do it. Worst she can say is no.

No is what I am afraid of though. And I am badly lacking courage!

Skid Mark 33 · Oct 30, 2007

Danoff
How old are you? Are we talking Middle, High, or College?

I am 14, in year 10. This girl is in year 10 as well!

zoxxy · Oct 30, 2007

GO for it! In a year or two, this won't matter ****.

Skid Mark 33 · Oct 30, 2007

zoxxy
GO for it! In a year or two, this won't matter ****.

Sorry, I dont understand what you mean!

VT · Oct 30, 2007

First things first, does she know you are alive?

Skid Mark 33
Sorry, I dont understand what you mean!

You'll understand in a few years.

Danoff · Oct 30, 2007

Skid Mark 33
I am 14, in year 10. This girl is in year 10 as well!

It's so much easier when you get out of HS. I'd say you should ask her to a movie. Don't ask her to make a commitment to you specifically (eg: "do you want to go out with me"). Ask her if she wants to do something with you (eg: dinner, movie, dance, party, etc.). Asking her to a school dance might seem easy because you don't have to come up with what to do, but your chances of a yes are significantly reduced because she has to not only decide whether she wants to spend an hour with you dancing, but also whether she wants the whole school knowing you're together.

Neutral location, no commitment, just a fun time provided by you. Don't even necessarily point out that it's just going to be you. You might say "hey, have you seen that new movie X? No? You wanna go this weekend?" If she pauses, follow up with "my treat". (try to pick an obscure movie that you're relatively sure she hasn't seen). At the closing of the first date have a second date to follow up with in case it goes well. I'd suggest a more intimate setting than the first date (eg: dinner). Ask in a similar offhand, no biggie fashion like for the first date.

The worst rejection you'll get from that is "oh, I'm busy that weekend". Take that as a no. If she were interested she'd try to schedule for later.

"I'm busy that weekend" = no
"I'm busy that weekend, how about next?" = yes

VT
First things first, does she know you are alive?

It would almost be better if he said no.

Skid Mark 33 · Oct 30, 2007

VTGT07
First things first, does she know you are alive?

Yes, I am in most of the classes she is in. I have talked to her sometimes, but I still get nervous when I do! :nervous:

Edit: I just read the above. OH BULL****!

VT · Oct 30, 2007

Skid Mark 33
Yes, I am in most of the classes she is in. I have talked to her sometimes, but I still get nervous when I do!

Ask her if she wants to study for an upcoming exam or something and then go from there.

Mark T · Oct 30, 2007

First of all you shouldn't really double post. Use the edit button. Second thing there have been a few threads like this before and I can't really see any helpful advice being given unless you give the following information:

1) How long have you known her?

2) Does she have any better looking friends?

3) How old is she

4) Subject to (3) we need to know her bra size.

Skid Mark 33 · Oct 30, 2007

Danoff
It would almost be better if he said no.

Problem is, I think she knows I like her, she's caught me starring sometimes. Sometimes when this happens I smile at her, and she smiles back, but I dont think this means anything really. She is always a bit flirty with most people!

VT · Oct 30, 2007

Mark T
1) How long have you known her?

Key question

4) Subject to (3) we need to know her bra size.

I would assume since he's in 10th then she's in 10th as well ... so we don't really care at this point most likely.

Skid Mark 33
Problem is, I think she knows I like her, she's caught me starring sometimes. Sometimes when this happens I smile at her, and she smiles back, but I dont think this means anything really. She is always a bit flirty with most people!

You'd be surprised how much a simple smile could mean. A vast majority of communication is completely non-verbal.

Danoff · Oct 30, 2007

My suggestion applies regardless of how long you've known her, how old she is, whether she has better looking friends, and is completely independent of bra size.

One tip though. Don't wait any longer (I don't care how long you've waited). Do it immediately.

skid
Problem is, I think she knows I like her, she's caught me starring sometimes. Sometimes when this happens I smile at her, and she smiles back, but I dont think this means anything really. She is always a bit flirty with most people!

Ok, quit doing that. Everyone smiles when they catch you staring, it means nothing.

Skid Mark 33 · Oct 30, 2007

Mark T
First of all you shouldn't really double post. Use the edit button. Second thing there have been a few threads like this before and I can't really see any helpful advice being given unless you give the following information:

1) How long have you known her?

2) Does she have any better looking friends?

3) How old is she

4) Subject to (3) we need to know her bra size.

1) Something like a year and two months!

2) I'm not really her freind, but we are freindly to each other. You know, no bad words said. Anyway, to answer your question, yes. But hay, I'm not bad either

3) 14 yrs old

4) Why the **** do you want to know her bra size!

Robin · Oct 30, 2007

First you have to get to know her if u havent even spoken to her, if you already chat quite abit then i dont see why u couldnt just ask her out, dont approach it as a girlfriend thing start off building the friendship and see how it goes. you cant really ask her out of the blue without some sort of lead up first. if in the end she says no seriously its no big deal. girls can be a minefield! just get talking to her first...then there will be more of a chance of her liking you back.

EDIT - read the stuff above, if she is the flirty type then just go for it, flirts already know who they like and dont like so just try it!

Mark T · Oct 30, 2007

Skid Mark 33
1) 4) Why the **** do you want to know her bra size!

If she's 14 then I need not know, neither should you while we're on the subject.

My advice is siimilar to Danoff. Just go for it, what's the worst that can happen?

VT · Oct 30, 2007

Most of all don't get discouraged if she says no. She's not the only female in the world. I don't know about the UK but there are a good many of them here

.

Danoff · Oct 30, 2007

Robin ///////
First you have to get to know her if u havent even spoken to her,

Bad move. Get to know her on the date.

Robin ///////
if you already chat quite abit then i dont see why u couldnt just ask her out, dont approach it as a girlfriend thing start off building the friendship and see how it goes.

I agree with not trying to approach it as a girlfriend thing. But the just friends thing is not the right road. You want it to be ambiguous but somewhat obvious where you're headed.

Robin ///////
you cant really ask her out of the blue without some sort of lead up first.

You absolutely can.

Edit: Oh **** you can't drive can you? Can you walk to a movie? Do you think your parents will let you go out unchaperoned? (this is so much easier when you're on your own)

Roo · Oct 30, 2007

Mark T
3) How old is she

4) Subject to (3) we need to know her bra size.

I know it's been a hard weekend, but even so!

Skid Mark 33
I am 14, in year 10. This girl is in year 10 as well!

Edit: OK, so I should refresh the page more often :dunce:

VT · Oct 30, 2007

Danoff
Edit: Oh **** you can't drive can you?

LMAO. That sucks. Parentals must be involved in some way

edit #2
Can you walk to a movie? Do you think your parents will let you go out unchaperoned? (this is so much easier when you're on your own)

Definitely try walking to a movie with her. The more time spent in a one on on situation the better.

McLaren · Oct 30, 2007

VTGT07
You'll understand in a few years.

Yep. Nice to see you back around the forums, as well. 👍

Mark T
If she's 14 then I need not know, neither should you while we're on the subject.

My advice is siimilar to Danoff. Just go for it, what's the worst that can happen?

The worst thing that can happen is what I said in the very first reply. No. And if he's afraid of no, then he's better off not asking any girl at all.

VT · Oct 30, 2007

*McLaren*
Yep. Nice to see you back around the forums, as well. 👍

Yeah .. It has been quite the while. I'm back for a good while now though

The worst thing that can happen is what I said in the very first reply. No. And if he's afraid of no, then he's better off not asking any girl at all.

Just don't be too afraid to ask. I did that and I kicked myself over it for a long time.

Skid Mark 33 · Oct 30, 2007

VTGT07
Yeah .. It has been quite the while. I'm back for a good while now though

Just don't be too afraid to ask. I did that and I kicked myself over it for a long time.

Ok, I promise I will try tommorrow. I mean try though, not I will!

Danoff · Oct 30, 2007

Skid Mark 33
Ok, I promise I will try tommorrow. I mean try though, not I will!

How? What are you going to say?

Skid Mark 33 · Oct 30, 2007

Danoff
How? What are you going to say?

Well, I will just talk for a while first, then ask!

Danoff · Oct 30, 2007

Skid Mark 33
Well, I will just talk for a while first, then ask!

Ask what exactly?

Skid Mark 33 · Oct 30, 2007

Danoff
Ask what exactly?

Ask her if she wants to go out sometime!

Danoff · Oct 30, 2007

Skid Mark 33
Ask her if she wants to go out sometime!

You've already made like 3 mistakes.

A) don't waste time trying to chat with her first. once you do finally get to the point it'll look weak that you didn't get to the point.

B) Make it specific. Would you like to do X on day Y? None of this "go out" or "sometime".

(B counts as two mistakes)

Edit: There are multiple reasons to be specific, not the least of which is to give her a good "out" so that she doesn't have to say "no, because I don't like you". She can say "I'm busy" and the rejection isn't quite so difficult to handle. Plus it makes it easier for her to change her mind later.

I need dating advice!

Skid Mark 33

McLaren

Danoff

Skid Mark 33

Skid Mark 33

zoxxy

Skid Mark 33

VT

Danoff

Skid Mark 33

VT

Mark T

Puts the sex into Essex

Skid Mark 33

VT

Danoff

Skid Mark 33

Robin

Mark T

Puts the sex into Essex

VT

Danoff

Roo

VT

McLaren

VT

Skid Mark 33

Danoff

Skid Mark 33

Danoff

Skid Mark 33

Danoff

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