I need dating advice!

[Skid Mark 33]

You've already made like 3 mistakes.

A) don't waste time trying to chat with her first. once you do finally get to the point it'll look weak that you didn't get to the point.

B) Make it specific. Would you like to do X on day Y. None of this "go out" or "sometime".

(B counts as two mistakes)

Edit: There are multiple reasons to be specific, not the least of which is to give her a good "out" so that she doesn't have to say "no, because I don't like you". She can say "I'm busy" and the rejection isn't quite so difficult to handle. Plus it makes it easier for her to change her mind later.

I hear you loud and clear bro!

 

[Roo]

Where? When?

Re-read Danoff's second post. But say it with confidence, and keep the nervousness to yourself - don't let it show.

Edit: People replying faster than I can type!

 

[Danoff]

I hear you loud and clear bro!

Glad to hear it. So what are you going to ask her?

 

[Skid Mark 33]

Glad to hear it. So what are you going to ask her?

If she wants to go to the movies with me on Saturday!

 

[McLaren]

Where? When?

Re-read Danoff's second post. But say it with confidence, and keep the nervousness to yourself - don't let it show.

Edit: People replying faster than I can type!

Exactly. Among the many abilities mysterious to males, women have the capability to smell fear.

 

[Danoff]

If she wants to go to the movies with me on Saturday!

Ok I'll stop hounding you. You already know I want you to pick a movie. I assume that means you can both get there without parental supervision - which is excellent news.

Good luck.

 

[Skid Mark 33]

Exactly. Among the many abilities mysterious to males, women have the capability to smell fear.

Any other of these mysterious abillities I should know about!

 

[Danoff]

Any other of these mysterious abillities I should know about!

That probably won't come until like the 4-6th month of dating (you guys are pretty young afterall).

If you were in college I'd say yes.

 

[ExigeEvan]

My tip if you're going to the cinema, meet her somewhere else. Like her bus stop or somewhere easy for her to be dropped off.

The worst thing you can do is go straight to a cinema then struggle to say/say too much in the movie.

 

[McLaren]

That probably won't come until like the 4-6th month of dating (you guys are pretty young afterall).

If you were in college I'd say yes.

And let's not forget the abilities women gain after marriage.

 

[Skid Mark 33]

That probably won't come until like the 4-6th month of dating (you guys are pretty young afterall).

If you were in college I'd say yes.

What are they anyway!

 

[Danoff]

What are they anyway!

Soon enough young padawan. One step at a time.

It occurred to me a moment ago that a rock concert is actually a much cooler first date - though more difficult to arrange. She's more likely to want to go to a concert (if she's that type), but parents are more likely to want to get involved.

 

[Skid Mark 33]

Soon enough young padawan. One step at a time.

It occurred to me a moment ago that a rock concert is actually a much cooler first date - though more difficult to arrange. She's more likely to want to go to a concert (if she's that type), but parents are more likely to want to get involved.

There is a big up side and an even bigger down side!

 

[Skid Mark 33]

Just one question. Does anyone think complemening her before I ask her would be a good idea!

 

[McLaren]

Just one question. Does anyone think complemening her before I ask her would be a good idea!

She'd probably take it as you being desperate. Complement later.

 

[Skid Mark 33]

Ok! Yeesh I know nothing and it's so embarassing. Now, where the hell is the nearest bridge I can jump off...

 

[Skid Mark 33]

Bingo, Dartford Bridge. Perfect!

 

[Loon]

Quit double posting man.

Oh, and good luck...👍

 

[Boundary Layer]

^ lol


I've really got to caution against all the suggestions of movies and concerts and whatnot. First dates are more like interviews and you can't communicate at loud events like that. You've said that you don't really know much about her and I don't think either of those ideas helps... you aren't having a nice night out with her as much as you're each having individual experiences with the movie/band/whatever. Plus, if she doesn't like the movie, etc, that's two hours she's spent having a bad time that shes going to associate in her memory with you.


Great first few dates are activities/places where you can talk at a normal volume without offending people around you (again, movies and concerts suck for this reason), where you can show off a little bit, and leave whenever you want to do something else that she shows interest in (this is where having your own transportation would help, but I'm sure you can work around it).

For instance, going skating is a great idea, but a few pointers:

1. you have to know how to skate reasonably well (the showing off part)
2. you probably want to know how to skate better than her (on the off chance that she grabs you to prevent herself from falling )
3. public skating is public, so she's got no reason to feel uncomfortable (on the off chance that she doesn't want to be alone with you yet)
4. you're bound to laugh at each other a little and it's an easy place to talk

 

[Skid Mark 33]

^ lol


I've really got to caution against all the suggestions of movies and concerts and whatnot. First dates are more like interviews and you can't communicate at loud events like that. You've said that you don't really know much about her and I don't think either of those ideas helps... you aren't having a nice night out with her as much as you're each having individual experiences with the movie/band/whatever. Plus, if she doesn't like the movie, etc, that's two hours she's spent having a bad time that shes going to associate in her memory with you.


Great first few dates are activities/places where you can talk at a normal volume without offending people around you (again, movies and concerts suck for this reason), where you can show off a little bit, and leave whenever you want to do something else that she shows interest in (this is where having your own transportation would help, but I'm sure you can work around it).

For instance, going skating is a great idea, but a few pointers:

1. you have to know how to skate reasonably well (the showing off part)
2. you might want to know how to skate better than her (on the off chance that she grabs you to prevent herself from falling )
3. public skating is public, so she's got no reason to feel uncomfortable (on the off chance that she doesn't want to be alone with you yet)
4. you're bound to laugh at each other a little and it's an easy place to talk

Knowing how to skate would be usefull, as well as actually having a pair, and why the hell would she want to do that anyway!

 

[Loon]

BL has got some good points about you not being able to communicate very well at the so far suggested locations.

Skating does seem like a good idea.

EDIT: why would she want to go to a movie? Because it's fun, and so is skating.

 

[Boundary Layer]

Knowing how to skate would be usefull, as well as actually having a pair, and why the hell would she want to do that anyway!

Right, you're from the UK. How ignorant of me

Failing that, a zoo is always good if the weather is decent... oh right, you're from the UK, sorry. Girls generally like zoos though, the only downside vs skating is that the odds of 'accidental' physical contact are less there.

 

[Skid Mark 33]

BL has got some good points about you not being able to communicate very well at the so far suggested locations.

Skating does seem like a good idea.

EDIT: why would she want to go to a movie? Because it's fun, and so is skating.

Any ideas apart from that!

 

[Loon]

It's probably getting kinda cold there in the UK, so fairs and stuff like that are probably out of the question. Do y'all have bowling alleys? Or batting cages? Or putt putt golf?

 

[Skid Mark 33]

It's probably getting kinda cold there in the UK, so fairs and stuff like that are probably out of the question. Do y'all have bowling alleys? Or batting cages? Or putt putt golf?

Bowling and putt golf (check) the other thing however, dont check

 

[Loon]

Well golf and bowling are fun activities, you can kinda playfully challenge her to a round of either. Also this gives you the opportunity to show her the proper stance or method for golf or bowling.(A chance for contact)

 

[Skid Mark 33]

Well golf and bowling are fun activities, you can kinda playfully challenge her to a round of either. Also this gives you the opportunity to show her the proper stance or method for golf or bowling.(A chance for contact)

Uh huh, I like the way you think!

 

[Danoff]

Don't worry about having time to chat on the first date. You're just trying to get her used to being around you and used to the notion of hanging out alone with you. The movie takes some of the pressure off of you personally to entertain her for the evening. Skating/Dancing/Putt-putt/Long Dinner/etc. are more intimate settings that are great for second and third dates.

The optimal first date (AFAIK) is lunch, but when you're in HS that suggestion gets thrown out.

You guys will talk plenty regardless - but unless she's super hot and turning guys down constantly, you don't need to worry about selling yourself so much as just not creeping her out.

The idea here is to get to the point where you can have an intimate date. Not to try to get her to fall in love with you.

 

[Skid Mark 33]

Don't worry about having time to chat on the first date. You're just trying to get her used to being around you and used to the notion of hanging out alone with you. The movie takes some of the pressure off of you personally to entertain her for the evening. Skating/Dancing/Putt-putt/Long Dinner/etc. are more intimate settings that are great for second and third dates.

The optimal first date (AFAIK) is lunch, but when you're in HS that suggestion gets thrown out.

You guys will talk plenty regardless - but unless she's super hot and turning guys down constantly, you don't need to worry about selling yourself so much as just not creeping her out.

The idea here is to get to the point where you can have an intimate date. Not to try to get her to fall in love with you.

but unless she's super hot

(she is)

 

[Danoff]

(she is)

Ok, be serious for a moment. Is this chick way out of your league? Because if she is that changes your strategy some. If she's constantly fighting off the guys then you need a different approach.